Writing Characters Not Like You

[Dragonlady]

What are your tips for writing characters with a very different mindset from you? My protagonist is different from me- she's younger, she cares about her social status, she's a bit of a snob and cares a lot about what she looks like, and I can have a go at writing this. Her father, though is controlling, insecure and concerned about status to the extent that he physically hurts his daughter and kicks her out. I also think he needs to be silver-tongued enough to persuade her against her better judgement. As someone gentle who has little brain - to - mouth filter I'm not sure how effectively i'm writing him at the moment, and I know I do just need to get him written then read it back, but I wondered if anyone has any tips or thoughts, techniques or recommendations of things to read. I haven't devoted enough attention to developing him really, but he is in many ways the story's antagonist, and for it to work he needs to have real power and generate real admiration and fear.

 

[MikeAnderson]

This may seem kind of strange, but, I find myself observing people in real life that share similar patterns with a character I'm trying to develop in order to establish a template. Say, for instance, I'm writing a boisterous extrovert, which isn't me. Go to a party, watch a comedy special; I try to seek out what I need to build this person by watching and listening to them. Simply reading about an archetype doesn't work for me; I need to hear and see it before I can visualize them and put them to paper.

 

[.matthew.]

The important part is looking at things from their perspective instead of your own.

I see too many antagonists that only seem to exist in the context of the hero.

What does he want, why is he doing what he is, how will that affect him, is he motivated by a need to control or shame of what others think, fear of people having power over him causing him to lash out, troubled history of his own, etc.

You'll also need to decide how silver-tongued. Is this going to be obvious to the reader or so subtle even they won't know he's doing it?

 

[Dave]

More Research! What Mike just said. Observe people and interview people who are similar to the character you are writing. I'm not a fiction writer, but I am aware that other people have views, on the kinds of subjects we don't discuss here any longer, that I could never hold. However, they do hold them, and they are not mad or stupid, but they obviously don't think like me. So, what life experiences, circumstances and paths made them come to such diametric opinions? You need to get into their skin. When I studied History recently, I learned that you cannot view the past through modern spectacles. People had some really strange ideas in the past, but they weren't strange to them, or to their peers. You can read what they thought and why they came to those conclusions, often from their own pens. So, reading more widely is important too. Read from both sides of the argument/divide and from contemporary sources too. In your example, it seems to be a social status difference, so read magazines that you wouldn't normally buy, go visit places you wouldn't normally visit, parties you wouldn't normally attend, and talk!

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I studied drama so I use some of those techniques - might be worth reading up on the Stanislavsky or Brecht approach - one might work

 

[Steve Harrison]

Each of my characters starts out as me, but I give them a trait that either pushes my personal boundaries or restricts them, which allows me to start to build a clear picture of the character and, hopefully, understand them.

I'm now old enough to have encountered enough character types in real life to draw from, but I used to put my characters in an imaginary day to day situation and compare their behaviour to what I would do in the same circumstances. This would allow me to 'peel' them away from myself and provide a rough initial outline to work with.

 

[Wayne Mack]

I believe as long as the character acts consistently with the given personality and belief system, that is enough. Avoid any gross exaggerations, unless going for farce. Remember the reader is also unlikely to have the same mindset as the character and as long as the character presentation is adequate for the story, then the reader will likely accept the character as presented.

Short version: Do your best and it will work out in the end.

 

[Biskit]

I am writing a character as a 1st POV, who is very different from me, and I find difficult to write, although the Biskitetta tells me it works well.

For context, Modette is a woman from a wealthy background in the 19th century dumped in the far future. She has a baseline of privilege/arrogance, was scandalous in her own time, has been through many husbands but has yet to meet one she wants to marry herself, has an unshakeable view of what constitutes good manners and has a staggering level of narcissism. So apart from having names that start with M, the two of us having very little in common.

Modette's underlying personality is built on observation of people I have met over the years. (I have to say, coping with a colleague of unshakeable views when working in a scientific environment is amazingly frustrating, especially when the perpetrator routinely talks total crap. )

Beyond the "design", I do something anathema to my pantser heart - planning, at least on a scene-to-scene basis. If I don't concentrate I can easily start handing Modette actions or dialogue that just don't fit, so before writing a scene (or re-writing it later to fix things) I ask myself what would this arrogant, self-centred woman do next?

Perhaps most challenging thing of all is treating Modette fairly, because aside from the awful fascination, I find it difficult to like her. Since I find her irritating, I also struggle to present her to the reader as in any way likeable. At least writing from Modette's POV, I get to present her view of the world, fully of cheery arrogance and skating over the things that don't fit into her self-image, and I find that when I really get into it I can play at being Modette and the writing flows more smoothly. I also have a second 1st POV, which allows me to show that what Modette tells the reader may not be quite what happened.

Oddly enough, I find the other character much easier to write, which raises troubling questions about my mindset - do I really have much in common with a gender-indeterminate assassin from a future religious war?

 

[Dragonlady]

Thanks all! @Biskit , I like my main character, which means she ends up too much like me. I have to remember to make her nastier at the beginning and snobbier. Character development shouldn't be like a light switch.

@Steve Harrison I definitely may do some writing about him like a diary entry or random stuff to try and get into his head.

@.matthew. he needs to be silver tongued enough to persuade the main character against her better judgement and have readers going 'Nooooo don't!' . I have experienced this first hand (but without the readers) but it was so long ago, I don't remember the words. I need to find some things to read where a parent has a real hold over their children. Over-controlling, but looked up to and respected at the same time.

 

[.matthew.]

Mmm. Perhaps make it seem sickly sweet then. Have him use lots of praise while telling her what she thinks. This is one of the standard ways people are manipulated but it works because the target of it will be overcome with how it makes them feel - enough to where they'll go along against their judgement. The reader, not experiencing the full force of compliment city will see right through it too

 

[Ashleyne]

It sounds like your talking about coercive control. There are plenty of sites that can give tips on how to spot this kind of behaviour which should give you plenty of research material. I've written a mind controlling character as an exaggerated version of this kind of manipulation.

The coercive controller is probably a narcissist and is dealing with long term depression. They don't see anything wrong in what they're doing; they're simply looking out for number one and making sure they have a loyal follower that will do anything for them. There are textbook examples, but not every controller will use every method.

Initially, they'll do what's called 'love bombing'. They shower you with compliments, gifts and gestures whether platonic or romantic. They'll make you feel like your the most special person in another's world, that you've finally found someone who understands you. They answer your texts immediately, they've told their friends great things about you. You can do no wrong, you're accepted.

When the abuse starts, it'll be so subtle that it's hard to acknowledge. Small things: they may say something innocuous, then deny they've said it. They could call you at an unsociable hour and act like you're the one in the wrong for being annoyed with them. They'll turn up half an hour late, and if you get angry with them, they'll convince you that you're overreacting. This'll escalate to the point where they can throw mean insults at you and convince you they never said it. You must've dreamt it, or made it up. Maybe it was someone else who said that mean thing to you, and you're just a bit confused and emotional. Give them a cuddle; they'll cheer you up.

If it gets physical, they'll make it feel like it was your actions that made them do that. They wouldn't hit you if they didn't love you so much. All that advice they gave for you to be a better person and you throw it in they're face. You might as well just spit on them. You can't expect a person to be disrespected like that and not react.

They'll outright lie with such confidence that you doubt your own reality. From then on, every problem is your fault.

 

[Dragonlady]

Thanks @Ashleyne ! I'll have a read. It's a bit different as it's a parent-child relationship, but same idea I guess.

 

[Joshua Jones]

Thanks @Ashleyne ! I'll have a read. It's a bit different as it's a parent-child relationship, but same idea I guess.

This may be an unorthodox recommendation, but the Disney movie featuring Rapunzel, Tangled, is almost a textbook on abusive familial relations, specifically mother-daughter ones. If you haven't seen it, it's well worth the time spent watching it if you're exploring these themes. You may not pick up all the subtle bits until a second or third watch (which my kids were MORE than happy to require of me...), but when you see it...

Going back to the OP, it rather depends on if I'm writing a primary character (like the protagonist and antagonist), a deuteragonist, or a side character. For primary characters, I'll usually imagine the character and some traits, then explore what happens when they are in a range of situations completely unrelated to the story. What I'm seeking to explore here is how they react to different types of stimuli, where their breaking points are, what their core values and personalities are like (as well as what's required for them to violate these), and so forth. For deuteragonists, I often start with the personality of someone I know, modify it a bit with some in world experiences, and go from there. Side characters are often little more than a selection from a personality test that gets fleshed out a bit, often with a quirk added for flavor. And, of course, sometimes mix around different methods for different characters, or...borrow... an interesting character from another story.

Ultimately, I think what's important is just knowing what works for you and rolling with it!

 

[Dragonlady]

@Joshua Jones what's a deuteragonist? Good tips, thanks! I'll check out tangled! I guess her father functions as the primary antagonist here.

 

[The Judge]

That's the character who is second in importance in your writing. (I think technically that would include the antagonist if he's the second most important.)

I'm of the become-the-character-as-you-write-him persuasion, so my advice is to sink yourself into his persona, thinking yourself through all he's endured, all he's worried about, all he wants to be etc. If you can't easily swap between his mind and someone else's to do his dialogue, write every scene he's in from his perspective in first person, then cut his dialogue and actions from that.

And put a scene up in Critiques and see what feedback you get on him.

 

[Joshua Jones]

@Joshua Jones what's a deuteragonist? Good tips, thanks! I'll check out tangled! I guess her father functions as the primary antagonist here.

It's actually her sort of adopted mother/kidnapper who is the antagonist (don't worry, it's all spelled out in the opening narration). But, yeah... the abuse is very well executed.

That's the character who is second in importance in your writing. (I think technically that would include the antagonist if he's the second most important.)

I'm of the become-the-character-as-you-write-him persuasion, so my advice is to sink yourself into his persona, thinking yourself through all he's endured, all he's worried about, all he wants to be etc. If you can't easily swap between his mind and someone else's to do his dialogue, write every scene he's ub from his perspective in first person, then cut his dialogue and actions from that.

And put a scene up in Critiques and see what feedback you get on him.

Interesting that the antagonist could be considered a deuteragonist. I always assumed that this term excluded the antagonist, as the conflict between the protagonist and antagonist is (or perhaps ought be!) central to the story, and more described important, supporting characters.

Thanks for the elucidation!

 

[The Judge]

The reason I said "technically" is that it means "second actor" which was literally whoever came second to the first actor (aka the protagonist) no matter his role, but yep, using it for sidekicks or main supporting characters, ie excluding the antagonist(s), probably makes more sense nowadays.

 

[Joshua Jones]

The reason I said "technically" is that it means "second actor" which was literally whoever came second to the first actor (aka the protagonist) no matter his role, but yep, using it for sidekicks or main supporting characters, ie excluding the antagonist(s), probably makes more sense nowadays.

Aha gotcha. Yeah, my brain is being melted under the strain of pretending to be an accountant, so I don't think I picked up your nuance at first. Thanks for the additional clarification!

 

[Alan Aspie]

What are your tips for writing characters with a very different mindset from you?

Meet and talk with people who have different mindset, life, skills, difficulties and environment than you.

I use street photography and some other types of photography as one way to meet totally different people, to talk with them, to find out something I don't know about them.

Some interesting random meetings in the streets:
- Young woman with an identity crisis.
- Drug addicts & drunks.
- Nice people walking their dogs.
- Other street photographers.
- Horses.
- Old musician in a wheel chair.

©Alan Aspie

You can't make minds credible unless you meet them.

 

[Dragonlady]

@Alan Aspie that's fantastic! Not really the year for meeting new people sadly, and I wish I was as brave as you!