Writing a character that speaks different languages

[Artemis Cromwell]

I need some advice on the topic of writing bilingual characters. In my new story, I have three characters that can speak a different language aside from English. The main thing I'm concerned about is if I should include the English translations in italics or not at all. The language doesn't have the widespread reach like Spanish does and I've been studying the language I'm using for the purpose of this book.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I need some advice on the topic of writing bilingual characters. In my new story, I have three characters that can speak a different language aside from English. The main thing I'm concerned about is if I should include the English translations in italics or not at all. The language doesn't have the widespread reach like Spanish does and I've been studying the language I'm using for the purpose of this book.

If you don’t include translations, assuming you are writing for an English based audience (if not, ignore), how will we understand what’s going on?

 

[-K2-]

Well, story Point of View can help considerably. Meaning, the character who's PoV it is can respond in ways that informs the reader what the other characters said, or they internalize it with thoughts concerning their own responses, and so on.

"Ublee bublee, boo looblay lah," Bob said with a pleading smile.

Mary shook her head at Bob's request, "I'm not going to give you my last candy bar. And you're not starving." She always knew he was a chocoholic, but he had never begged for her candy like that.<<<PoV character

It might not be an exact translation, but the message comes across nevertheless. You also have an advantage in that the characters are bi-lingual so though they might speak in some other language they can still think in English. Granted, that's not exactly how folks really do it. But, in that way the reader can follow along.

Be careful though. If all of your dialogue cannot be understood by the reader, I'd bet they'll give up reading. So, use just little bits to add some spice to the story without overwhelming it.

In my current work I have two made up languages and multiple real non-English languages. Times when the PoV character doesn't know what the other character is saying, I don't help the reader to understand. Other cases, my PoV-C does something similar to above, others she might repeat what the other character says internally or externally, she might physically react, all sorts of ways...BUT...Though I have a pages of exact translations **see below**, by word cross referencing glossaries, etc., for the most part I rely on my story to convey the meaning.

** After each passage containing a non-English language I add a reference/footnote marker like this:
“Po’, yawut Meircan?” Pogue bawled, still laughing. “Un ats P-say wha pes. Welp, P-say Sowfilly style, Sowfee-say. As mi say, mi from ‘ere, mi ahways bint ‘ere. Mae’ say G-tahk fo Meircan.” [T2F]

In a print version's appendices (I don't want to clutter story pages with footnotes), there are pages of translations in order:
2F. “Po’, yawut Meircan?” Pogue bawled, still laughing. “Un ats P-say wha pes. Welp, P-say Sowfilly style, Sowfee-say. As mi say, mi from ‘ere, mi ahways bint ‘ere. Mae’ say G-tahk fo Meircan.”
T: “You mean English?” Pogue bawled, still laughing. “And it’s People's Language what else. Well, People's Language South Philly style, South Philadelphia pidgin dialect. Like I said, I’m from here, I’ve always been here. We say Government Language for English.”

In a perfect world, in digital versions, a hover over the footnote would cause a popup:

However, since that popup option is not available (that I know of), I'll NOT link> to somewhere else.

Point being, I don't want my reader to read a line, then look up a translation, read a few more lines, then look up another translation again. I want them to read the story and if they want to see full translations, they can look it up after (so, I must make it actually inconvenient).

If that's the case, then the reader MUST be able to follow the story without a hiccup/pause and still understand what is happening and what was meant in the non-English passage. So, those non-English passages MUST inspire direct responses which explain it, inspire action reacting to it, or feel like background clutter JUST as they seem to the PoV character.

Anywho, just my opinion. I am NOT a published author like many others here are.

K2

 

[Artemis Cromwell]

If you don’t include translations, assuming you are writing for an English based audience (if not, ignore), how will we understand what’s going on?

I understand that but in my case, if I make the translations italicized, the readers won't be able to tell the telepathic messages from the translations. I also want it to look more natural.

 

[Artemis Cromwell]

@K2 If I decide to include translations in the way you suggest, do you know a method that can make it appear more natural from the character's PoV. The characters in my story that are bilingual can speak English as well as Irish Gaelic. Since this is the second book in my series, I do plan to publish this story one day, so it must appear natural without ruining the book's general atmosphere. I want to include translations, but if I put them in italics, the readers may confuse them for the telepathic voices; if I underline them or make them bold, I fear it ruining the book's flow or making it seem like the work of an amateur.

 

[-K2-]

@Artemis Cromwell ; As I said, the story WITHOUT translations I feel must convey all the reader needs to know. If you want it true to life, the characters would think in the same language they're speaking, so that doesn't really work. What about this; add a non-Gaelic speaking character within the group as a deuteragonist. That will force the other characters to speak more English, and they'll speak Gaelic when they're frustrated or whatever, and that forces the DA to ask, "What? You know I don't speak Gaelic."

Personally, as I also said, I'd NOT make translations convenient. I definitely would not have a line in Gaelic and then at the bottom of the page have a footnote--or worse--add an English translation under the dialogue in italics, bold, or whatever.

Write the story so the reader can understand everything without translation through direct responses, thoughts or action. If you choose to have translations, I personally would do no more than give them a reference number to look it up AFTER. E.g.: [2C] (chapter number, passage designator).

Just my opinion...AGAIN, I am not a published author. So don't trust me to give you advice that's universally accepted.

K2

 

[Elckerlyc]

It depends on the POV of the narrator and whether he/she/multi understand(s) the non-English talk as it happens.
If not, don't give a word-for-word translation, but let the character explain what he just talked about (or not, if you want to build some suspension or suspicion).
If the narrator does understand what was just said, than give the exchange as if it were spoken in English, with the remark that it was spoken in a specific language, for instance by relating the first one or two sentences in the foreign tongue.
Point is, the reader should have the same POV/experience as the narrator. If the narrator doesn't understand than nor should the reader, unless the narrator asks for a translation of what said.
Just my 2p.

 

[The Judge]

How you deal with it rather depends on how much there is.

If one of the bilinguals is approaching someone who speaks the foreign language -- say it's French -- and it's a one-off thing, then do as K2 suggests, with the bilingual person mentally translating or reacting to the French, eg handing over papers at passport control, or eg deliberating in English which cake to have and then asking for it in French, and handing over the money the sales assistant asks for in French. In those kinds of cases there's no need for an exact translation because the gist of it can be gathered from what takes place. If there's eg an inscription on a building, then give it and have one of them translate it into English there and then, not in italics.

If on the other hand there is a long extended conversation between them in French, say something like "They lapsed into French again" or "For the sake of Pierre they all spoke French" but actually give the conversation entirely in English. Your job as a writer isn't to be slavishly realistic -- otherwise every conversation would be full of repetitions and pauses and "ums" etc -- it's to keep the reader reading, which in most cases means aiming to write clearly so as to be easily understood.

 

[Wayne Mack]

Rather than providing an accurate portrayal of dialog in a foreign language, I think I would attack it by giving the reader a flavor of the foreign language. Start a dialog section with a foreign language greeting or some other polite word and sprinkle in some honorifics or titles, just make sure the dialog can be understood even if the reader does not know the phrase.

"Guten tag, Frau Smith, why have you ..."
"Merci, Julia ,,,"
"Grzbick, Human ..."

I think it is largely sufficient to give each speaker a unique style that the reader can easily identify. As a reader, I would find test blocks that I could not read would be very off-putting and would shift my attention from the story line to the writing style of the writer. Give me foreign-ish and that will be sufficient for my understanding and enjoyment.

 

[sknox]

Until we see it in action, all responses can be no more than theoretical. Can you post an excerpt, preferrably something fairly long?

Also, are you fluent in the other languages?

Also, what does writing in multiple language add to the story and to the reader's experience of the story? IOW, why are you making this choice?

 

[DLCroix]

Hi! Imagine something in the style of War and Peace today, where the characters, depending on the translation, intersperse English and French, and to understand what they say in French you have to resort to the notes, which are not on foot page; but at the end of the book. The bottom line is that it is understood, of course, but the process becomes tortuous.
In my saga the characters even come from at least eight different countries, but they manage through a mental translator. This is how I get around the problem of sitting eight of them at a table with the salad of subtitles or footnotes that would be left to understand everything. At most I can indicate some phonetic detail or an expression that is curious, or that some even felt an instinctive sympathy for certain subjects who had grown up on a coast near their country and who therefore spoke a derivation of Cockney as well as others had a French accent and a more delicate and seductive speech, or I can say that some praised as an extraordinary ability that a girl, for example, could speak in the native languages of four or more of the others. But not much else.

 

[K.S. Crooks]

A couple ways to do this:
Have a character translate/explain a portion of a conversation or all of a statement to another character who doesn't understand.
Have a character say something in a foreign language and another respond in English (like Chewbacca and Han)
Lead into the translation by having characters discuss what needs to be said before hand.
Let the reader determine generally what was said with no translation, by how a character reacts or responds afterward