anti-matchmaking story

[Dragonlady]

So i wrote a short story turning matchmaking on its head . A supporting charater from a previous story is a young dragon hunter (the humane kind, who help avoid human/dragon conflict, act a bit like vets for domestic dragons etc), age 19ish, lives with his dad. He's an anxious type, always lived in his dad's shadow, finds dragons way easier to deal with than people. Matchmaking set up arranged by the parents, with a female dragon hunter and her daughter, but the parents fall for each other and the children aren't interested in a relationship with each other. He is still recovering from a previous attempt, and I gave her a girlfriend.

This is all well and good for a short story attempt, but it's now trying to become a novel (a murder mystery). I can see how the relationships could play out - Mirabelle fighting for her relationship's legitimacy, and Joseph supporting her. However, that's not my personal story, and I don't think it's the story I'm trying to tell. I don't want the 'young people can be happy without a love interest' aspect to get overshadowed by a same sex relationship I don't have personal experience of.

The question is then open as to how I write them. They will spend much of the story investigating the happenings and murders and driving the plot in that way, working together as the friends and colleagues that they are, proving they are quite capable of running the show while their parents are distracted by each other. Do I make their parents too distracted to remember they were supposed to be marrying their offspring off, and quietly drop that side of it? I don't want it to be too wishy washy, as marriage to them is about far more than romance - it's about continuing the family business, economic security etc. Making little dragon hunters before their parents are too hold to work. But Joseph and Mirabelle have no real intention of doing it with each other.

I know a story shouldn't be written by committee, but what should I not do, or what should I be thinking about? What would you consider in this situation?

 

[The Judge]

In this situation, I'd just write the story and see what happens -- I'm a great believer in letting the characters do the heavy work of deciding where they want to go.** If when you get to the end of the novel it doesn't seem to gel, then you can go over it and look to see where it needs changing and/or get your beta readers to offer comments as to what isn't working.

However, if you want to have some plan in advance of writing, ask yourself whether Mirabelle wants children, and if she doesn't, how is she going to prepare for her and her lover's old age? Are there orphanages where they can adopt potential little dragon-hunters? Would she be able to amass enough money to live in comfortable retirement? Is there a stigma to illegitimacy? If not, then she -- or her lover -- might want to just lie back and think of future dragon-hunting in order to get pregnant. Is there a stigma to adultery or having a concubine/second family? If not, why doesn't she marry Joseph for form's sake, and they each have relationships on the side. Can they form themselves into a non-family unit along the lines of a business partnership, so all dragon-hunting fees are pooled and shared equally, thus assuring them each of mutual benefit whatever their sexual partnerships? Basically, just think about different options -- arranged marriages have been around for centuries for all classes, so there are countless examples you can use if you dig deeper.

As for the lesbian relationship, is it looked on as perverted in their society? If not, stop over-thinking it and just let them get on with their lives. If homosexuality of any kind is frowned upon, then you have to address the issue, but don't forget that women have lived together for centuries on the basis of friendship or necessity, so as long as they don't actively flaunt their sexuality in public they'll probably be accepted without a great deal of comment. However, if you decide that female homosexuality is actively illegal then their situation is more dangerous obviously, in which case you'll have to think carefully and research the issue a good bit more and Mirabelle will have to explore all her options, which would include forgoing a love life in order to be seen as a respectable dragon-hunter.

By the way, if their parents marry, then it may well be J&M won't be allowed to marry in your culture because of the rules relating to the prohibited degrees of kinship -- J would be marrying his father's wife's daughter (or his mother's husband's daughter), which would have been OK here in England and Wales, but could well have been forbidden due to affinity elsewhere in the real world.


**yes, I know it will be you really, as you're the one doing the writing, but it's a way of expressing how your sub-conscious can deal with the problem while your conscious mind is preoccupied with other issues.

 

[Dragonlady]

Thanks! Things to think about. I'm pretty sure I could write a good story with Mirabelle being attracted to women (I don't want to use the L word as it would be an anachronism - it wasn't a concept in the middle ages/renaissance ). but I'm not sure I want to because it's not my story, i'm not sure I want it to be a central theme of the story. Is that reasonable, or do I just write it like that and see how it happens? if I did roll with that, Mirabelle and her lover both have professions that allow them a lot of respect and freedom, which would make it easier to avoid negative reprisals ( I would need some world building around attitudes). Mirabelle has a brother, and could easily take an apprentice.

I'm trying to work out what the story would look like if she is attracted to men, but not Joseph. This story isn't any sort of romance for Joseph, it's a coming of age story. At the start, at least, the idea of marriage and being responsible for someone else is terrifying to Joseph. In this story he starts to become his own person rather than his father's shadow. In a few years I am sure he will sweep someone off their feet. I'm not averse to Mirabelle ending up unhappily married, after this story, but not with Joseph, that is the whole point of the original short story. I just need a way it will wash with their parents, how to play it when Joseph's dad wiggles his eyebrows and says, 'so how was it spending some time with Mirabelle?' and Joseph wants the floor to swallow him up. I suppose finances could help - more than one wedding in the family could get unaffordable.

 

[The Judge]

I really do think you're overthinking this, and my advice is simply for you to stop worrying about this, that or the other possibility and just write.

Firstly, it doesn't matter what happened in the short story -- this is a separate creation and can go a separate way, so actually they can get together if they want, just on their own terms not their parents'. Secondly, you keep saying "it's not my story" as if only a lesbian can write one -- there's a whole tinderbox waiting there and I don't want to get into it, but if you're a novelist you go where the story takes you, so don't limit yourself in advance, just make sure you do your research if it's necessary. You're also too fond of "I'm not sure I want" -- it's as if you're asking us for permission to be sure and to do something, which we simply can't do.

How you play it when J's dad asks embarrassing questions depends on J and his emotions -- if he wants the floor to swallow him up, say so. Have him slink out of the house. Have him turn beetroot. Have him tell his father to mind his own f*ing business. Have him tell M, who tells her mother to tell J's father to back off. Really, it's not rocket science. Just write the scenes and let J act as his nature dictates.

By the way, weddings are only as expensive as you want to make them. If you're writing a culture which requires 500 guests and three days of celebrations, yep it's going to be costly. Otherwise it's just the two getting married and whatever priest you've got and that it. It's your society, so you make the rules as to what society expects, and it's their characters and whether they follow those expectations.

 

[HareBrain]

but I'm not sure I want to because it's not my story, i'm not sure I want it to be a central theme of the story. Is that reasonable, or do I just write it like that and see how it happens?

If it's not a central theme (and this is credible after taking TJ's comments into account), then I wouldn't worry about it being "not your story". That's more an issue where you're particularly focusing on a minority experience you don't share. And gay experience is so varied anyway that you, as inventor of your world, will be better placed to say how it is there than an actual gay person in this one (assuming you use some common sense and imagination and maybe do a little research). Plus I think it's a good thing to have characters who just happen to be gay without it being a special focus of the story.

I'd follow TJ's advice and just write it.

 

[Dragonlady]

Thanks both! @The Judge overthinking is my specialty I'm not really 'asking for permission - just overthinking when I should be writing probably. When my thinking brain tries to get involved rather than just leaving my intuition to it. I need to shut it up to get a first draft finished. Your bit about embarassing questions makes me realise Mirabelle's part in the story is probably the mentor. She likely has a thing or two to teach Joseph about sticking up for himself. And the wedding/cost thing, needn't even be totally true in the story, just a way to get the pressure on Joseph reduced.

@HareBrain thanks for the advice/reassurance! I'll do some research and world building. The monotheistic oppressive empire was overthrown around the time these characters were born so they have grown up in a time where ancient gods and magics are being rediscovered but prejudices still hang around like a bad smell. Without making a big thing of it, it could be quite possible to create a mythological precedent, and also references to previous persecution, as the story dictates, and you don't get on the wrong side of someone who works with dragons...

 

[The Big Peat]

Can't lie, I've read the original post a few times and I'm still not exactly 100% sure what the problem is. Which leads me to suspect you don't know what the problem is. Which is not to say there is no problem. You say you're overthinking this but if there's something in your instincts saying "I'm not sure I'm interested in this story set-up over a full story", then maybe it's worth narrowing down what exactly your instincts hates before committing hard (depending on what type of writer you are, plenty will find it easier to go ahead and change later if they find an issue). You say it's not your personal story/the story you're trying to tell - what exactly is the story you're wanting to tell? Do you know it exactly, or is the idea a bit loose and general? If your idea here is a bit loose, are you struggling a bit because the looseness of the concept means this idea could impinge on the story you're trying to tell, but might not?

 

[Wayne Mack]

Perhaps the subplot is too evolved for the novel. Would it help to roll back the situation to the young pair being introduced, trying to make the situation work, but then have the dragon rider find her girl friend?

 

[Dragonlady]

@The Big Peat at the moment, finishing a first draft would be an achievement in itself, so I will write it the way my instincts initially told me and ignore my thinking brain. I wasn't sure how to play it if I didn't give Mirabelle a girlfriend so I will go with the simple solution this time and give her one. If I get to the end of a draft and end up with someting I don't like or can't complete, it's another step in the journey and I will have learnt something. @Wayne Mack I think it's simpler than it sounds. How many words will get used on the subplot we'll ahve to see but I can't write it if I don't know where the charaters stand in relation to each other if that makes sense.

 

[Toby Frost]

Is this a YA story, or one in which there has to be romance? If it's not the kind of story which intrinsically requires romance, in the way that an action film requires action, I would ask whether there's any need for there to be romance at all. I suppose a lot of fantasy defaults to a kind of medieval noble life, prettified to various extents and with much of the religion taken out, which means that she'll have to be married off and the like (and the lesbian* subplot will have predictable difficulties), but is that necessary in this situation?

I recently wrote a fantasy novel (unpublished, as of yet) which involved a girl of about 14 who is an expert rider of wyverns. I didn't want to write about her romantic interests, because it wasn't terribly interesting and I didn't think I'd do it well, so I made her just not very interested in it. Looking after wyverns and the complexities of the plot mean that it didn't really come up beyond mild interest in men, most of whom she found unimpressive. It helped to make her an orphan and a commoner.

A small thought about marriages: in dynastic marriages, traditionally the wife brings a "name", a link to a noble line and what that entails. If you've got female characters who have magical/superhuman abilities and the like, marrying them off could bring a real risk of putting those powers under the legal (if not also practical) control of her husband. If Mirabelle is determinedly not interested in men, why not keep her skills in her family, set her up as a "spinster" and let her take a "companion"? If her abilities are trained rather than "bred", she could train the next generation instead of giving birth to them.

I think there are a lot of ways that this could go, depending on the characters and the society, and it doesn't necessarily have to follow the obvious ones. I'd just write what you'd like, provided that you can justify it.

[Nerdy aside: "lesbian" was one of the words I didn't use, as it's got real-world provenance from the Greek island of Lesbos. Other words included "thug" and "sod" (as in "person"). I may have over-thought this.]

 

[Dragonlady]

Thanks @Toby Frost ! It is YA, the only actual romance plotline is the parents', and that doesn't take centre stage. Her relationship with her girlfriend is already established. They're not nobility, perhaps more like a saddler or blacksmith or something in social terms. They couldn't justify Mirabelle becoming a housewife, in an ideal marriage her mother would see her settled with a dragonhunter like Joseph so they develop a family business together using both their skills. The spinster idea is a good one, and if she had her hands full with neices and/or nephews it could be a good way for her to fend off marriage. Her girlfriend is a Doedmerek - a magical figure in the community - think witch, but urbanised, with a guild system etc, and it would be perfectly acceptable for her not to marry. That's beyond the scope of this story anyway.

It's an interesting point re the words. I'd avoid the 'L' word because its connotations are cultural and social as well as purely about who you are attracted to, I know historians avoid using it about past relationships. I have an analogy using the world 'matchbox' I want to take out, as I doubt the character using it would know what one was.

 

[Wayne Mack]

I will write it the way my instincts initially told me and ignore my thinking brain.

I think you have given yourself better advice than we have. For the first draft, write what feels right. In the edit phase, concentrate on what reads right.

I've found once I have gotten to the end of the story, I have a much better understanding of the characters and how they grow along the way. I can then adjust their actions and reactions to better fit them. You seem to have an interesting cultural environment, just describe the characters' struggles with the cultural norms and do not worry if they happen to have boyfriends or girlfriends. A lot of what they will feel is universal.