Punctuate an Embedded Question

[Wayne Mack]

If there is an aside type question embedded in a thought, how should it be punctuated? Does the question get a question mark or not? Should it be set off with single or double quotes even if it is not a direct thought? Use dashes and a question mark?

In the following sentence, the point of view character is pondering the use of disguises and how they help. Is there a better way to present this?

"Bystanders would be able to describe someone, was it a lady, with bright orange hair, but nothing else."

 

[The Judge]

I've had much the same issue before now. What I would do depends on what's happening around the sentence, and whether the query comes from the person thinking about it or from the anticipated reactions of spectators and anything else that seemed relevant but I'd probably end up choosing between eg

• "Bystanders would be able to describe someone -- A lady? With bright orange hair? -- but nothing else."
• "Bystanders would be able to describe someone, perhaps a lady, with bright orange hair, but nothing else."

If this was a remembered reaction, then I'd use quotation marks eg

• "Bystanders were able to describe someone -- "Definitely a lady, and with bright orange hair!" -- but nothing else."

The -- in each case = a long dash which doesn't display here.

(Though I have to say for me the "someone" modified by "but nothing else" jars, and I'd probably change either the end of the sentence so it linked better to a person rather than a description eg "but in no detail that would identify her/him" or change the beginning so it linked to a "nothing" eg "would be able to furnish a rough description".)

 

[mosaix]

When I was sixteen my English teacher asked the class to come up with a sentence that ended with ?"?".

We all failed.

"Imagine," he said "that there's a boat with the name "Why Not?" and someone asks:

"Where's the "Why Not?"?"

 

[The Judge]

Re-reading my post just now, I've just seen that there's a perilous possible misunderstanding with this version

• "Bystanders would be able to describe someone, perhaps a lady, with bright orange hair, but nothing else."

as it might be construed on a quick read that it was a lady with nothing else but orange hair. (Just as well we're not talking of an orange dress!) Which definitely makes putting the clause between the two dashes the better way to proceed in this case unless the wording is adjusted.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

To complicate things I just do it with dashes, or hyphens. But, if possible, I'd avoid the issue altogether.

Bystanders would be able to describe someone - was it a lady? - with bright orange hair, but nothing else

Bystanders would be able to describe someone - a lady, perhaps - with bright orange hair, but nothing els

 

[Wayne Mack]

I'm leaning towards breaking this into multiple sentences (or perhaps omitting the line altogether). I'm thinking perhaps,

"Bystanders would be able to describe someone with bright orange hair. Lady? Man? Tall? Short? Don't know, but definitely orange hair."

 

[tinkerdan]

There are times when questions don't need a question mark and I think that in the case OP above that it is acceptable to not have a question mark.

However on another note I question the use or placement of was in this sentence.

"Bystanders would be able to describe someone, was it a lady, with bright orange hair, but nothing else."

This would be alright if the character were talking to someone else trying to nudge their memory.
However in the context of trying to make a decision it seems they might better state it this way.

"Bystanders would be able to describe what they recall, it was a woman, with bright orang hair, but nothing else."
I say this this way because by your description of what is occurring it seems this is the best guess of what a disguise might accomplish in throwing people off from a thorough observation.,

But then, I might have misunderstood your purpose.

 

[.matthew.]

I think the issue with it here is that it reads a little clunkily however it's punctuated. I do use something? something? something? in writing quite a bit. It makes the paragraph pop but I think it works better in articles more than in novels. I'd probably just rephrase the whole line.

Maybe...
"Bystanders would barely be able to describe them, the bright orange hair saturating their memories, blurring out all other details."

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Well, apparently I do it like this (from today's editing)

But Will is right: I don’t know the campsite, my team won’t be watching for me – do they think I’m dead; is my mother already mourning me? – and I will struggle to find them.

Like that's not convoluted or anything. @TheDustyZebra ain't going to like that one little bit.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Well, apparently I do it like this (from today's editing)

But Will is right: I don’t know the campsite, my team won’t be watching for me – do they think I’m dead; is my mother already mourning me? – and I will struggle to find them.

Like that's not convoluted or anything. @TheDustyZebra ain't going to like that one little bit.

I dunno, the semicolon is the only bit I'm questioning, and not because it's incorrect -- just that maybe it would work better as another question mark?

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I dunno, the semicolon is the only bit I'm questioning, and not because it's incorrect -- just that maybe it would work better as another question mark?

I changed them back and forth several times...