Maseeha.Aellari
Writer | Werewolf | Wanderer
Yay! I've reached my 30 posts and I am dying for feedback on this. So quick backstory. This is for a YA epic fantasy revolving around twin sisters Heela and Flo as they pursue a quest in the magical world of Aellarion. I've hated this synopsis but it's done, and now I'm overthinking which is an annoying habit. Please tear this to shreds and do not spare my little kitten feelings. Greatly appreciate all of this
-------------------
In a land where Olde Majik still flows like a river beneath the surface, the crown princesses were born, pushing Prince Erup over the edge and into the shoes of a tyrannical overlord.
Heela, a wishful 16-year-old in New York, longs to escape her orphanage and find her family. After she exposes the fact that she and her ex-best-friend Flo are twins, Heela discovers her mother’s journal, containing a message, a warning that a portal to Aellarion will open at midnight. Heela shows the journal to Flo, convincing her to come with on the search for their mother.
On their arrival, the girls are taken to the rebellion leader, Niming, who informs them that their uncle, Prince Erup, has seized the throne for himself and has imprisoned their parents. Fuelled by the longing for a real family, Heela and Flo agree to track down the Pieces of Nosaer, a legendary weapon that can defeat Erup and save their parents.
Accompanied by their bending master, the girls travel through the four realms of Aellarion, where each Realm Leader gives them a challenge to retrieve a Piece of Nosaer. In the first realm, they scale a fire-spitting tree to collect a sack of berries. Heela also gets close to Claeg, a philophobic soldier who is extremely suspicious of the rebellion leader, and is devastated when he is killed during one of Erup’s attacks. In the second realm, Erup orders a siege to capture the girls. Yearning to avenge Claeg, Heela unknowingly summons her crux, the epicentre of her bending, triggering a lightning storm that wipes out Erup’s army. Once the siege ends, the girls fulfil their mission, retrieving a powerful pearl to receive the Piece of Nosaer.
In the third realm, the girls are tasked with finding the Realm Leader’s pet stag, but Flo keeps disappearing and Heela is saved from a strange beast by… Claeg’s ghost? His twin? Nothing makes sense anymore, and Heela starts to doubt if she has the strength to kill Erup. When a furious battle breaks out against Erup’s armies, and instead of fighting, Heela and Flo are sent off to complete their quest with the image of their bending mentor’s mangled and bloodied body engraved in their minds.
Without the knowledge of her mentor’s fate, Heela assumes the worse, and is more determined than ever to face Erup, save her parents, and avenge everyone that had been lost in the war. This time, she threatens Nebul, a geeky young alchemist, into handing over the final Piece. He gives in after Heela heals his sister, and even agrees to reforge Nosaer. During this time, Nebul falls in love with Flo, but before he can reveal his feelings, they are attacked by Erup’s right-hand man. He blackmails Heela into handing over Nosaer to save Flo’s life, but once the sword is in his hands, Flo is thrown off the clouds to the jagged rocks below, and disappears. Before she can do any serious damage, he knocks Heela unconscious and takes her to the palace.
Heela wakes to find herself strapped to the Needle, a machine designed by Niming to drain an individual’s crux from their blood. Flo turns out to be alive, and is still fuming over the Incident, the day Heela told everyone that her foster mother had died. Now a member of the radical Azalean Order, she’s bent on using the Needle to make her mark on history by righting the power imbalance between benders and non-benders. Heela tries in vain to save the Flo she knows and loves, but when her attempts fail, Flo activates the machine to prove her strength. The surge of energy allows Heela to discover her crux: hope, and she teleports to the safety of the Air Realm, where her unconscious body is discovered a week after Flo’s coronation.
-------------------
In a land where Olde Majik still flows like a river beneath the surface, the crown princesses were born, pushing Prince Erup over the edge and into the shoes of a tyrannical overlord.
Heela, a wishful 16-year-old in New York, longs to escape her orphanage and find her family. After she exposes the fact that she and her ex-best-friend Flo are twins, Heela discovers her mother’s journal, containing a message, a warning that a portal to Aellarion will open at midnight. Heela shows the journal to Flo, convincing her to come with on the search for their mother.
On their arrival, the girls are taken to the rebellion leader, Niming, who informs them that their uncle, Prince Erup, has seized the throne for himself and has imprisoned their parents. Fuelled by the longing for a real family, Heela and Flo agree to track down the Pieces of Nosaer, a legendary weapon that can defeat Erup and save their parents.
Accompanied by their bending master, the girls travel through the four realms of Aellarion, where each Realm Leader gives them a challenge to retrieve a Piece of Nosaer. In the first realm, they scale a fire-spitting tree to collect a sack of berries. Heela also gets close to Claeg, a philophobic soldier who is extremely suspicious of the rebellion leader, and is devastated when he is killed during one of Erup’s attacks. In the second realm, Erup orders a siege to capture the girls. Yearning to avenge Claeg, Heela unknowingly summons her crux, the epicentre of her bending, triggering a lightning storm that wipes out Erup’s army. Once the siege ends, the girls fulfil their mission, retrieving a powerful pearl to receive the Piece of Nosaer.
In the third realm, the girls are tasked with finding the Realm Leader’s pet stag, but Flo keeps disappearing and Heela is saved from a strange beast by… Claeg’s ghost? His twin? Nothing makes sense anymore, and Heela starts to doubt if she has the strength to kill Erup. When a furious battle breaks out against Erup’s armies, and instead of fighting, Heela and Flo are sent off to complete their quest with the image of their bending mentor’s mangled and bloodied body engraved in their minds.
Without the knowledge of her mentor’s fate, Heela assumes the worse, and is more determined than ever to face Erup, save her parents, and avenge everyone that had been lost in the war. This time, she threatens Nebul, a geeky young alchemist, into handing over the final Piece. He gives in after Heela heals his sister, and even agrees to reforge Nosaer. During this time, Nebul falls in love with Flo, but before he can reveal his feelings, they are attacked by Erup’s right-hand man. He blackmails Heela into handing over Nosaer to save Flo’s life, but once the sword is in his hands, Flo is thrown off the clouds to the jagged rocks below, and disappears. Before she can do any serious damage, he knocks Heela unconscious and takes her to the palace.
Heela wakes to find herself strapped to the Needle, a machine designed by Niming to drain an individual’s crux from their blood. Flo turns out to be alive, and is still fuming over the Incident, the day Heela told everyone that her foster mother had died. Now a member of the radical Azalean Order, she’s bent on using the Needle to make her mark on history by righting the power imbalance between benders and non-benders. Heela tries in vain to save the Flo she knows and loves, but when her attempts fail, Flo activates the machine to prove her strength. The surge of energy allows Heela to discover her crux: hope, and she teleports to the safety of the Air Realm, where her unconscious body is discovered a week after Flo’s coronation.