There are three orbital Agency guard stations within the Ullubell Mighty star system. It is necessary to visit all three before making planetfall. Nobody I have met could say why there are three, or why you need to do the same thing at each one -but such is life on the route to Liddiumbracknel.
'Any passengers?' asked the Agency Guard at our third stop. After a long pause. It was his second question following a long pause. Agency Guards are trained to do this. It is a subtle way of exerting authority. Some understand this, and it works for them. Others don't, and their daily interactions take an exceptionally long time. This particular Guard didn't.
'Yes, Chad Spulternick and three furniture droids.'
The Guard leaned in the window to take a look at Chad. Six other Guards appeared from out of an office behind him. Their heads had been straining out the open door to hear what was going on, and now curiosity got the better of them. It was the same at the previous two orbital stations. Whatever the Agency Guards normally do must not be as interesting as questioning strangers. Because each time we approached a station at least half as dozen heads would appear at the window. Straining like meercats to see what was inside our rocket.
'Can I see some identification Mr Spulternick?' continued the Guard (at the end of another long pause).
Chad sat staring at the Guard for so long that I felt the need to break the silence.
'Chad, if we all pause before we speak we'll never get to Liddiumbracknel, could ya just let the Guard do the pause-talk, and go with normal speed yourself?'
'Sure', he said, and flicked a small plastic wallet at the Guard. He did it in a way that was meant to show disrespect. It was the first time I had a suspicion there was more to Chad Spulternick than furniture removal. In any case, the Guard didn't seem to notice, and began another long pause (exactly long enough to have read an SFF Chronicles 75 Word Challenge -which might have been the thing to do at the time. Unfortunately neither Chad nor me have heard of SFF Chronicles. Or Micro Fiction. Or the internet.)
'Okay', said the Guard finally. It was clear that our time at the orbital station had come to an end. Because he flicked his hand in the Universal gentle backhand fly swat signal for 'off ye go'.
'Them Agency squares are all the same' muttered Chad.
That was the second time I had a suspicion that there was more to Chad Spulternick than furniture removal. I rolled up the window and accelerated our rocket out of the orbital layby. Ullubell Mighty was now low in the sky. We'd need to hurry to make Liddiumbracknel before dark. All the pauses in conversation had taken their toll on our day.
