Which is Better?

[Lafayette]

I need some thoughtful feedback on two scenarios I'm thinking about.

In my story, I have an eight foot naked monster chasing a female magic user to kill her. Her friends and a troop of soldiers are trying to stop it, but with little results.

In scenario 1. One hero dashes between the legs of the monster and with his ax swings high, attacking the monster's privates, thus killing it.

In scenario 2. one hero dashes forward and throws his ax, hitting the monster in the eye killing it.

My concern is I'm afraid I may come off as pornographic and appealing to the baser instinct of the readers, and I don't want to do that. I want to write a good, but believable story without dragging my readers down the sewer.

I will appreciate any comments, suggestions, and/or questions.

 

[Pyan]

Moved to Writing Discussion, as being a more appropriate forum

 

[Christine Wheelwright]

8 ft or 18 ft? Or is the hero quite small? In my experience, a blow to male genitals is rarely fatal. Never tried an axe to the eye though.

 

[.matthew.]

8 ft or 18 ft? Or is the hero quite small? In my experience, a blow to male genitals is rarely fatal. Never tried an axe to the eye though.

He could do both. Groin slash to bring the head to a reachable height, then axe to the face.

 

[Wayne Mack]

I'd probably go for an alternative to either. Castration is not fatal. An axe would not penetrate through an eye socket to the brain; it would likely hit the skull and might not even damage the eye. I suspect an axe blow to the inner thigh could sever the femoral artery leading to a fairly quick, but not immediate, death. An arrow or thrown dagger would be more feasible to penetrate the eye socket. Given an eight foot creature, a throat slash might be possible, though that would place the attacker within the grasp of the monster -- this might work if the monster grabs the attacker, but leaves one are free.

I am not sure what the lead up to the final kill might be, but it needs to be more than a single stroke battle. I hope this gives some ideas that you can fit into your desired mood and tenor for the story.

 

[Swank]

An axe would be easy to dodge if thrown at an eye.

But so would a man running to your genitals.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Write the scene and pop it onto critiques?

 

[Bramandin]

I had no idea that getting hit in the genitals with an axe wasn't fatal, but I knew about the femoral artery. I'd still go there because groin attacks do have slowing-power unless the thing isn't mammal-level sentient.

How knowledgeable is your character about effective places to attack? Butcher? Someone who was taught to kill? I suppose an EMT is about the closest knowledge-base you have to someone who knows effective sword-attacks unless you know someone in the SCA or HEMA.

 

[DLCroix]

Make the monster fall off a cliff just as it is about to finish off your hero after tossing it aside like a simple bug. That is to say, the idea is that your hero faces the monster despite having everything against him (thus demonstrating his courage), but in reality he is saved, and wins the duel, rather by a mixture of luck or even cunning. Kind of like how Arnie manages to defeat the predator in the first movie in the series.

 

[Lafayette]

Write the scene and pop it onto critiques?

Thank you. I have done that.

 

[Lafayette]

An axe would be easy to dodge if thrown at an eye.

But so would a man running to your genitals.

I tend to agree with you, however, it is basically a mindless monster with a one track mind: get the magic user.

 

[Lafayette]

Make the monster fall off a cliff just as it is about to finish off your hero after tossing it aside like a simple bug. That is to say, the idea is that your hero faces the monster despite having everything against him (thus demonstrating his courage), but in reality he is saved, and wins the duel, rather by a mixture of luck or even cunning. Kind of like how Arnie manages to defeat the predator in the first movie in the series.

I'll think about it.

 

[Lafayette]

I had no idea that getting hit in the genitals with an axe wasn't fatal, but I knew about the femoral artery. I'd still go there because groin attacks do have slowing-power unless the thing isn't mammal-level sentient.

I was or am assuming it is. Perhaps, I'm wrong. We need to ask a doctor. Is there a doctor in the house?

How knowledgeable is your character about effective places to attack? Butcher? Someone who was taught to kill? I suppose an EMT is about the closest knowledge-base you have to someone who knows effective sword-attacks unless you know someone in the SCA or HEMA.

The hero, John is an orchard grower. However, like some people practice throwing darts, John practices throwing his ax.

 

[The Big Peat]

I feel safe to say that the market who finds a battle axe getting lodged in a monster's genitals pornographic is quite small, so by all means go with the nut shot.

 

[Lafayette]

I'd probably go for an alternative to either. Castration is not fatal.

I am under the impression that castration is akin to surgery. The hero, John is not using any finesse in his attack/

An axe would not penetrate through an eye socket to the brain; it would likely hit the skull and might not even damage the eye.

When I came up with this idea I was thinking of David and Goliath.

I suspect an axe blow to the inner thigh could sever the femoral artery leading to a fairly quick, but not immediate, death. An arrow or thrown dagger would be more feasible to penetrate the eye socket. Given an eight foot creature, a throat slash might be possible, though that would place the attacker within the grasp of the monster -- this might work if the monster grabs the attacker, but leaves one are free.

I'll keep this in mind for future reference.

I am not sure what the lead up to the final kill might be, but it needs to be more than a single stroke battle. I hope this gives some ideas that you can fit into your desired mood and tenor for the story.

Thank you.

 

[Lafayette]

I feel safe to say that the market who finds a battle axe getting lodged in a monster's genitals pornographic is quite small, so by all means go with the nut shot.

That is reassuring. Thank you.

 

[Lafayette]

He could do both. Groin slash to bring the head to a reachable height, then axe to the face.

I'll make the monster taller. The hero, John is 5'6.

 

[Draoighir]

Go for the eyes Boo, go for the eyes! Lol.
The second option would be better if the hero has ties with the female magic-user. You know, if you're all for something, you can do incredible things, even sometimes somewhat unconsciously.

 

[Lafayette]

Go for the eyes Boo, go for the eyes! Lol.
The second option would be better if the hero has ties with the female magic-user. You know, if you're all for something, you can do incredible things, even sometimes somewhat unconsciously.

Even though John is sweet on Tayanna he is more of a good, good friend to her.

 

[paranoid marvin]

There is a recorded instance of a giant Norseman defending a bridge. He repelled all foes until and Englishman floated under the bridge on which he stood and thrust a spear upwards throw the planks of the bridge.

In your fight, the purpose of the first axe swing is not necessarily to outright kill the opponent but to stop him from fighting back. Either option is likely to have the desired effect.

The problem with throwing his axe is that he only gets one shot; aiming at an eye is too small a target. But it depends where his opponent's weak spots are and what armour his opponent is wearing. All things being equal, he would more likely aim an axe throw at the biggest target - the chest area.

If you were to go with scenario 1, I would suggest that you use the term 'groin', as this (for me at least) would be a natural combat target area