Minor/Secondary Character

Timben

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In my story, a minor/secondary character has been introduced to the story. A Russian commandant. No name is just Commandant. He is currently in command of the convicts. He's not a bad guy. Just sort of mediocre I guess. Anyway, I thought of having him die by the real villain of the story. The Russian colonel. I was thinking of having the colonel do it because he doesn't want to share his immortality with anybody. His motivation is well, greed. I thought of having him die, the colonel, of some rare disease which he is wanting to be immortal. What do you think?
 
I'm not good at writing two villains in a story. So, that's why I thought I would kill off one of them. While the other fights another day. And no he will not return for a sequel.
 
I hate to do this to you, but I'm seeing my previous self in you and I think you need to rein it in a little because the other people are too polite to say something until ghosting doesn't work. Just have a little confidence to make mistakes, think twice before asking for help, and... well I haven't figured out the rest of it.

I invite the other people to give it to me frank if I am being annoying and too active.
 
In my story, a minor/secondary character has been introduced to the story. A Russian commandant. No name is just Commandant. He is currently in command of the convicts. He's not a bad guy. Just sort of mediocre I guess. Anyway, I thought of having him die by the real villain of the story. The Russian colonel. I was thinking of having the colonel do it because he doesn't want to share his immortality with anybody. His motivation is well, greed. I thought of having him die, the colonel, of some rare disease which he is wanting to be immortal. What do you think?
Sounds fine. You can either use that to write something excellent, or terrible.
 
I think of characters/story like an equation; they have to balance on a fundamental level.

Killing a character is simply an event, but the reasons should be justified by the characters involved. Not in a mental way, but a meaningful, emotional one. Having one killed off just because you don’t write two villains well is not a good enough reason.

Ask yourself why you have two in the first place. What does the story need? Cause and effect, not random events.
 
This sounds like a good subplot to include and to add interest.

The redeemed bad guy is a common pattern in adventure stories. The story starts out with the character treating the protagonist badly, but the character is slowly converted to the protagonist's side. In the end, the character is inevitably killed while aiding the protagonist, giving a sense of moral balance where the bad guy pays for his prior sins.

If this feels like the right thing to do in your story, include it. Don't be intimidated by doing something that you are not good at. The only way to get better is to push yourself through challenges. Best of luck.
 

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