How should the prose refer to an MCs parents?

[DAgent]

So here's the setup, my main character is a 13 year old girl, living with her parents, as such all the prose is written third person but from her point of view. As such I've not once had the prose refer to either parent by their names (I've not had any of their dialogue refer to each other by name either, but that's a different issue I'll fix some other time) it's always as either "Her mother" or "Sally's father" and other variations.

Now, this seems okay as every things following the daughters view point, but I have caught myself writing prose like "He turned to his wife" or "she punched her husband playfully on the shoulder" and I'm not sure if this is quite right given how everything is so centred on their daughter as the MC prose wise. I've avoided using their names in prose because, well, how often would a little kid be using their parents given names when addressing them?

It certainly seems clear to me that it's the same characters, just being referred to differently. Am I just splitting hairs here, or would it be okay to mix things up like this?

 

[Jo Zebedee]

An agent advised me to be consistent - I have a character known by their surname the whole way through as that’s how the main character referred to them, even in their own point of view - although their first name would be used in dialogue, if appropriate to the conversation.

 

[Toby Frost]

For me, it would depend on how close the narrative was to the girl's point of view. If the viewpoint was very close, I would call them "mum" and "dad", especially if there were no changes of viewpoint in the novel. If more removed, I think "Mr Smith" and "Mrs Smith" would be fine, likewise "Sally's father" etc. Calling them by their Christian names feels a little odd, but it could still work - although it would feel quite "authorial" and removed from the girl's POV. I agree that consistency in viewpoints would be important.

 

[tinkerdan]

I agree about it depending on the closeness of the POV and also what you are trying to achieve.

Despite the need for consistency I have seen in some writing where it can work to have a number of ways to reference the character parents.

For instance::
Main character
Patricia Jones
Her sister is Marilyn Jones
Mother is Barbara Jones.

Patricia huffs aloud as she enters the room, having missed that it was occupied by her sibling.
"What now." Marilyn's eyebrow's rise.
"Your mother is being a pain."
"Mom? Our mother. It's only because she cares for us."
"Maybe you." Patricia says while thinking, Mrs.Jones probably wants to disown her youngest daughter.
"What did she do?"
"Barbara--said I can't go out tonight."
"Well there's your problem." Marilyn's lips form a smug smirk. "You asked the wrong person; always ask Mom."

 

[The Big Peat]

So here's the setup, my main character is a 13 year old girl, living with her parents, as such all the prose is written third person but from her point of view. As such I've not once had the prose refer to either parent by their names (I've not had any of their dialogue refer to each other by name either, but that's a different issue I'll fix some other time) it's always as either "Her mother" or "Sally's father" and other variations.

Now, this seems okay as every things following the daughters view point, but I have caught myself writing prose like "He turned to his wife" or "she punched her husband playfully on the shoulder" and I'm not sure if this is quite right given how everything is so centred on their daughter as the MC prose wise. I've avoided using their names in prose because, well, how often would a little kid be using their parents given names when addressing them?

It certainly seems clear to me that it's the same characters, just being referred to differently. Am I just splitting hairs here, or would it be okay to mix things up like this?

I think you're on the right text here. For me, I would refer to them in the text as Mum and Dad (or preferred variations) and centre all descriptions of them based on the MC's perspective i.e. probably avoid wife/husband although I think there might be times when a teenager is acutely aware that to each other, her parents aren't Mum and Dad but X and Y, wife and husband, and it might make sense to change there.

I would have Mum and Dad use their natural names for each other in dialogue, although I'm fairly sure there's families where Dad's Dad, even when Mum is speaking directly to him.

 

[Wayne Mack]

I have caught myself writing prose like "He turned to his wife" or "she punched her husband playfully on the shoulder" and I'm not sure if this is quite right given how everything is so centred on their daughter as the MC prose wise.

I think your instincts are right. The two cited passages are subtly from the father's POV and the mother's POV, respectively. I'm not sure of the context, but I suspect it would work better replacing "his wife" with Mom and "her husband" with Dad. Of course, there may be sections where it might be better to shift to a different POV and use the original references.