Mission Stardust (1967)
Perry Rhodan (a character in a huge number of German science fiction novellas) is the leader of a mission to the Moon to get some valuable metal. Hilariously, we're told that it's important because it's denser than cobalt or lithium; as are many, many metals, particularly since lithium is, I believe, the least dense of all metals. Anyway, a crime lord who thinks he's in a James Bond movie has a secret informer about the mission, and is after the stuff. When our heroes get to the Moon, all their equipment goes haywire, their Moon buggy gets disintegrated, and they find an alien spaceship. It's pretty cool, in a retro-futuristic kind of way. Big, hulking guys in spacesuits, who turn out to be robots, take them aboard. The real inhabitants are a pair of extremely human aliens. One is an older man, who happens to be dying of leukemia, although we're told that these aliens eliminated all diseases long ago. The commander is a cold-hearted, gorgeous young woman in a platinum blonde wig. She also wears a skin-tight jump suit, with circles over her breasts that are, to say the least, extremely distracting. Our heroes agree to get a newly developed cure for leukemia from a physician in East Africa. For the next hour or so the movie turns into a Eurospy flick, with chases, explosions, and so forth, all set in Kenya, with nothing remotely futuristic going on until we get back aboard the alien spaceship. Suffice to say that the good guys win, the bad guys lose, and the icy alien woman learns to enjoy smooching an Earthman. (We'd earlier seen her tease our hero, and the audience, by stripping behind a translucent screen, although you can't really see anything. Thank goodness, she changes into a different skin-tight jumpsuit without the distracting circles. Our hero then shows what a red-blooded he-man he is by forcing a kiss upon her.) The movie slows down to a crawl when it stops being science fiction, but otherwise it's goofy comic book fun.
