Looking to make my story more of a supernatural horror with some action and sci-fi elements

[UltimateUniverse900]

I'm really not sure what direction to take this story in but I have a visual in mind that I know I want an isolated setting but also include a metropolitan setting as well.

There's two ways I can go with this. One idea is set in the 1990s with a group of young grunge fashion-style friends end up having their car break down in a small US isolated town where they get trapped in and can't seem to get out of and end up going inside this mansion where bizarre things happen, along the way a young former nypd cop and detective is sent to this town to investigate strange disappearances and murders that have been going on, while a female journalist from LA was also traveling to this small town to uncover strange stories and they both cross paths and get trapped in this town and they somehow cross paths with these young grunge friends, which involves unwordly creatures, a portal to another dimension and a conspiracy of a secret government that watches from afar to monitor what these people experience and hoping they can get ahold of these supernatural forces for their own needs.

The other idea is set in present day where there is these different people from many walks of life who get trapped in this small US town, which has a history of strange occurrences and residents from many generations being trapped in this town from supernatural forces with no way out. There's no phone service or internet, a mansion still exists as well and there's many different characters that get trapped in this town, including a YouTube influencer, a novelist, a family of four, a female sheriff, and a former military guy who is the son of a former nypd cop and female journalist. Supernatural unworldy creatures exist, hidden portals to other dimensions as well as a hidden government organization from afar that stay from a far distance monitoring these people's experiences and hoping to harness these supernatural forces for their own needs.

Which is better the first one or second one?

 

[Toby Frost]

Both could work, but it would depend a lot on how well they were written. Which do you think you'd enjoy doing more and/or write better?

 

[Wayne Mack]

This sounds like an interesting plot line and I look forward to seeing how it progresses. For me, the best way to make story decisions is to actually start writing and see what flows naturally.

In terms of the two settings, I think 1990s with no cell phone or internet service is more believable than present day without them, however, their lack in a current setting might make for an interesting opening plot question. One thing I noticed in both summaries is the lack of an identified primary character. I usually find that identifying the main character is key in getting started. Flesh out who this might be and then start typing.

God luck and have fun writing!

 

[kaufmannp]

There are some interesting threads for you to tie into a compelling narrative. The small US town motif has seen a lot of use, but there are several opportunities to subvert expectations with different archetypes and plot twists.
If you know who your characters are and how they respond to changing settings/events, you can slowly incorporate supernatural forces as a building threat while tying into inter-personal conflicts.
Both ideas have a lot of potential, but you can also find different ways to cut off your characters from external support (mobile dead zones, power drains, etc) that can add to your conflicts.

 

[UltimateUniverse900]

Which do you think you'd enjoy doing more and/or write better?

I'm leaning towards the first idea now.

In terms of the two settings, I think 1990s with no cell phone or internet service is more believable than present day without them, however, their lack in a current setting might make for an interesting opening plot question. One thing I noticed in both summaries is the lack of an identified primary character. I usually find that identifying the main character is key in getting started. Flesh out who this might be and then start typing.

I'm thinking of having the nypd cop being the primary character or is it possible to have everyone as some form of a primary main character?

Both ideas have a lot of potential, but you can also find different ways to cut off your characters from external support (mobile dead zones, power drains, etc) that can add to your conflicts.

Could it be if it was just am entire small town that was completely cut off from the rest of the world while maintaining a complete mobile dead zone? And is it possible I can combine both ideas the first and second one?

 

[kaufmannp]

I think you could absolutely combine both ideas! Again, I'd stress to focus on your characters and their interpersonal conflicts to drive your story, and consider the setting as a reflective background. Physical peril can increase at the same time as peril to their individual goals and their relationships. Supernatural elements can be a metaphor for the unknown or the inevitable, or really whatever internal anxieties shake your characters at their core.
We want to chase our protagonists into trees and then throw rocks at them. Because we love them, LOL.

 

[UltimateUniverse900]

I think you could absolutely combine both ideas! Again, I'd stress to focus on your characters and their interpersonal conflicts to drive your story, and consider the setting as a reflective background. Physical peril can increase at the same time as peril to their individual goals and their relationships. Supernatural elements can be a metaphor for the unknown or the inevitable, or really whatever internal anxieties shake your characters at their core.
We want to chase our protagonists into trees and then throw rocks at them. Because we love them, LOL.

Thank you, I'd love to combine them but would this affect the setting/time period this takes place in? Would the present day and 1990s be able to intertwine somehow? And for the supernatural I was going to have it reflect on the struggles and conflicts that are personal to the characters.

 

[paranoid marvin]

My immediate thought was that you have both. The portal could be in an entirely different time frame to our world. So the kids could enter the portal in the 1990s and the cop in the modern world, and they could meet up on the other side of the portal.

In fact the kids could be some of those who had been reported as missing in the cop's timeline.

It has an interesting, Clive Barker feel to it. Good luck with whatever you go with, but as has been mentioned above just start writing and see how it goes.

 

[UltimateUniverse900]

This could be good. Do you mean the portal being used as some sort of time travel device?

 

[paranoid marvin]

This could be good. Do you mean the portal being used as some sort of time travel device?

Either this, or time on the other side of the portal doesnt exist or operates differently; everyone exits the portal at the same point in time.

Eg the kids enter in 1986, the cop enters in 2016, but they all come out of the other end as though they'd entered together. So (after speaking to them) the cop realises that these are the kids that have been missing for 30 years, but as far as the kids are concerned they only just arrived.

You could have back stories for several groups/individuals leading up to them entering the portal, then they all have to work together (or not) when they appear on the other side.

 

[BAYLOR]

I'm really not sure what direction to take this story in but I have a visual in mind that I know I want an isolated setting but also include a metropolitan setting as well.

There's two ways I can go with this. One idea is set in the 1990s with a group of young grunge fashion-style friends end up having their car break down in a small US isolated town where they get trapped in and can't seem to get out of and end up going inside this mansion where bizarre things happen, along the way a young former nypd cop and detective is sent to this town to investigate strange disappearances and murders that have been going on, while a female journalist from LA was also traveling to this small town to uncover strange stories and they both cross paths and get trapped in this town and they somehow cross paths with these young grunge friends, which involves unwordly creatures, a portal to another dimension and a conspiracy of a secret government that watches from afar to monitor what these people experience and hoping they can get ahold of these supernatural forces for their own needs.

What they don't know is behind these supernatural forces, there is governing intelligence with own designs and plans for all of them.

 

[KiraAnn]

One thing you will have to address is why would NYPD send a cop out of their jurisdiction to investigate something?

Not sure about how a New York town would feel about that situation, but in damn near any other state, that cop would have zero jurisdiction, and quite likely incur local LEO wrath.

 

[UltimateUniverse900]

Either this, or time on the other side of the portal doesnt exist or operates differently; everyone exits the portal at the same point in time.

Eg the kids enter in 1986, the cop enters in 2016, but they all come out of the other end as though they'd entered together. So (after speaking to them) the cop realises that these are the kids that have been missing for 30 years, but as far as the kids are concerned they only just arrived.

You could have back stories for several groups/individuals leading up to them entering the portal, then they all have to work together (or not) when they appear on the other side.

I'm a little confused but if the cop realizes the kids have been missing for 30 years that ended up in 1986, if they were from the present day or even 2016 they wouldn't have been born yet in 1986 for them to have been missing for 30 years right? Anyway I do like the idea of this.

One thing you will have to address is why would NYPD send a cop out of their jurisdiction to investigate something?

Not sure about how a New York town would feel about that situation, but in damn near any other state, that cop would have zero jurisdiction, and quite likely incur local LEO wrath.

What if he moved? Or stepped through the portal ending up there? I was going to say that he was a former NYPD cop but after the tragic death of his wife and child, he moved to this small town and became a sheriff there and that's where the kids go missing, which he then can go investigate?

 

[KiraAnn]

I'm a little confused but if the cop realizes the kids have been missing for 30 years that ended up in 1986, if they were from the present day or even 2016 they wouldn't have been born yet in 1986 for them to have been missing for 30 years right? Anyway I do like the idea of this.

What if he moved? Or stepped through the portal ending up there? I was going to say that he was a former NYPD cop but after the tragic death of his wife and child, he moved to this small town and became a sheriff there and that's where the kids go missing, which he then can go investigate?

My main point is why does it have to be NYPD? Outside of the NYC neighborhood, NYPD is not exactly highly regarded. You can always have him/her be from a major city within that region which would be more realistic if he/she has to be from a big city.

Second factor to think about, in most states, sheriffs are elected and generally for a county, not a town. what is going to be the electability of an outsider?

Not saying to drop your project, just don't be too fixated on where the MC comes from. Same for the journalist. In much of the small-town or rural US, regional or local plays better in those professions as opposed to outsiders.

 

[paranoid marvin]

I'm a little confused but if the cop realizes the kids have been missing for 30 years that ended up in 1986, if they were from the present day or even 2016 they wouldn't have been born yet in 1986 for them to have been missing for 30 years right? Anyway I do like the idea of this.

What if he moved? Or stepped through the portal ending up there? I was going to say that he was a former NYPD cop but after the tragic death of his wife and child, he moved to this small town and became a sheriff there and that's where the kids go missing, which he then can go investigate?

Hi basically I meant that whatever year the person entered the portal, they arrive on the other side. So the kids go through/disappear in 1986, the cop goes through/disappears in 2021. But both the cop and the kids appear on thee other side of the portal.

You could say that the kids have travelled forward in time, or that the cop has travelled back in time. But what I'm suggesting is that neither of these things have happened. That there is no movement of time on the other side . When speaking to each other, the kids think it is still1986; the cop thinks it is 2021. And in their own world this is true, but here there is no 'time'.

Alternatively you could just have had the kids stuck on the other side of the portal for the last 35 years until the cop turns up. But I think this has been done several times (eg Jumanji) and this may be an interesting alternative, as long as it doesn't confuse the reader.

 

[UltimateUniverse900]

My main point is why does it have to be NYPD? Outside of the NYC neighborhood, NYPD is not exactly highly regarded. You can always have him/her be from a major city within that region which would be more realistic if he/she has to be from a big city.

Second factor to think about, in most states, sheriffs are elected and generally for a county, not a town. what is going to be the electability of an outsider?

Not saying to drop your project, just don't be too fixated on where the MC comes from. Same for the journalist. In much of the small-town or rural US, regional or local plays better in those professions as opposed to outsiders.

You bring up an interesting point. Maybe I could just say he was a former NYPD that left the force and moved to this small rural town to live in peace, only to find himself caught up in this town's conspiracies?

Hi basically I meant that whatever year the person entered the portal, they arrive on the other side. So the kids go through/disappear in 1986, the cop goes through/disappears in 2021. But both the cop and the kids appear on thee other side of the portal.

You could say that the kids have travelled forward in time, or that the cop has travelled back in time. But what I'm suggesting is that neither of these things have happened. That there is no movement of time on the other side . When speaking to each other, the kids think it is still1986; the cop thinks it is 2021. And in their own world this is true, but here there is no 'time'.

Alternatively you could just have had the kids stuck on the other side of the portal for the last 35 years until the cop turns up. But I think this has been done several times (eg Jumanji) and this may be an interesting alternative, as long as it doesn't confuse the reader.

Now I get it, I appreciate it. I like this alternative idea. If they were stuck on the other side for 35 years then when the cop shows up, it would be in a place where there is no time?

 

[UltimateUniverse900]

@paranoid marvin Do you think it would sound too similar to Jumanji if the kids were playing a game that got them stuck onto the other side of the portal?

 

[paranoid marvin]

@paranoid marvin Do you think it would sound too similar to Jumanji if the kids were playing a game that got them stuck onto the other side of the portal?

It depends on how it was done. Hellraiser for example opens a portal when correctly solving a puzzle, and that is nothing like Jumanji.

I think that I would avoid them playing a board game.

 

[UltimateUniverse900]

It depends on how it was done. Hellraiser for example opens a portal when correctly solving a puzzle, and that is nothing like Jumanji.

I think that I would avoid them playing a board game.

What if it adapted to being a game that would attract the kids to play it such as a Nintendo game or arcade?

 

[AllanR]

If you want the communication restrictions, you could locate your town in an area similar to the US Nation Radio Quiet Zone. United States National Radio Quiet Zone - Wikipedia