1,127 words for critique

[ColGray]

I think this is the one I am going to go with. I have a start on the First chapter and I have an idea for a fight scene already typed up. Would it be too cheesy to actually right "record scratch" lol


I had no idea that there was anything about child abuse in their past. That is heartbreaking because I love their books so very much. There are plenty of people whom I am positive I would not like as a person if I met them but I can separate, as you said, the art from the artist. In fact I find I am forced to do so with a vast majority of Hollywood as I vehemently disagree with most of their beliefs.

I hear you -- I grew up on the Eddings books and loved them. The Belgariad and the Weis & Hickman Dragonlance books were probably the gateway fantasy series for me that got me hooked on the genre. But give Eddings a quick read and the child abuse was bad enough that they were each jailed for a year in 1970 in South Dakota.

If the tone of the overall book is Ferris Buehler, then, sure, that theoretically works -- but it would feel so Ernest Cline / Ready Player One that it may not work. Subverting the reference is likely to work better than a direct copy/paste -- ex: "Grimoire Page Flip", rather than record scratch. Or, You're hairy, wizard, rather than, You're a wizard, Harry. Outright quotes borrow power and effect from the work they reference. Subversion takes that power and adds to the new work. It's like with a Zucker Brother movie (Airplane, Naked Gun, Top Secret, etc): they work because they know the source material, but they play it bone straight and never wink at the camera. They let the audience be smart, rather than telling them where they (the filmmakers) are being smart (IMO, why the Ready Player One movie was so mediocre). Whether the reference works or not is as much about the reference as it is about the execution.

Off To Be the Wizard may be another good touch point. I read it many years ago, but IIRC, it's got a similar idea. It was fun but I don't think i picked up any sequels.

 

[Ambriel]

I forgot to mention something else that could be pertinent. My character has a desire for revenge against suicide, I know seems silly, that is second only to his wish for magic. That is what drives him when he finds out magic does actually exist and realizes that he can keep people from killing themselves. Which also is the reason I’m deliberately trying to have some levity in the story. With the BBEG (big bad evil guy) , as my friend calls him, being a demon of depression it has potential to become a dark fantasy. Which isn’t really the intent.

 

[Yozh]

I enjoyed reading this, I really like the voice and character and found this excerpt to be an engaging light read. Seems to be just setting the stage for a story at this point, but I would keep reading to see what happens.

It does feel a bit like this is the recap of book 1 written for the beginning of book 2.