Wolf howling

[Mans]

This time I tried to write more orderly with less mistakes (or maybe I assume). Nevertheless, I will need your guidance until an unspecified time so that I can fly with my own wings!

I really welcome your critiques



Lucas stepped toward the window, stroked his long black and white beard, and looked at the sky. A foggy cloud covered the entire sky. He listened to the howling wind blowing around the cottage and shaking the pine trees on the downhill. After watching outside for a while, he returned to his chair behind his desk, took his pipe, and lit it. As he puffed out the smoke, he looked at his wife, Amelia. She was carving a piece of wood to make a small doll.

Amelia was busy working and did not pay attention to her surroundings. It was her occasional hobby when she finished her housework. She had acquired a good skill in sculpting after a few years of practice and experience. She could sculpt several dolls and animal statues in a week. They were often in shape of deer, dogs, wolves, and bears. When Lucas went to Nanton town once every month, he sold Amelia's handicrafts to Mr. Jackson, who had a rag shop in the city center. His customers were often travelers who journeyed through the town or stayed there for a few days.

Lucas was a hunter. He had to hunt one or two deer annually and, after smoking or salting their meat, kept a part of the meat for the long, snowy, and cold winter season. He also caught some salmon fish from the nearby river in the summer and smoked them too. For more income, he sometimes hunted a few foxes and otters and sold their skins to Mr. Jackson, in addition to the deer skins.

Before taking them to the town, he tanned the skins to make them usable for Jackson's customers. The first buyers were a few particular tailors who produced women's furry coats and shawls. Lucas bought beans, flour, spices, soap, potatoes, and some other necessities from the market after selling the skins and his wife's handcrafts. Amelia used a part of the food and things and stored the rest for cold seasons.

As Lucas puffed out the smoke, he broke the silence and said to his wife, I think winter will start earlier this year. Amelia stopped working and stared at Lucas with a questioning look. Lucas continued, we should wait for snow soon. This year will be a full snowy year with all its hardships.

Amelia said, but we are in the middle of autumn. There is still a month and a half left until winter.

However, I see the same signs in the climate that we observe at the beginning of winter. We should be ready to encounter this unusual weather this year and supply everything necessary, replied Lucas.

Amelia put the piece of wood and the carving knife on the small table beside the fireplace got up, and went toward the window. She took a look at the sky and the views around. Then she turned to her husband and said, surprised, but an hour ago, the sky was clear...

Lucas replied, and the wind! Do you see how it is blowing? Do you remember such rapid change here in the previous years?

Amelia said, "Yes, I remember, but only in winter. She looked out once again, "I don’t think it is a considerable thing you pay attention to.

Amelia! The climate of the area speaks to me. Before you and your family migrated to Nanton, I was a teenager and lived with my parents there. At that young age, I experienced an early winter with the same signs. I don't forget it. That year, heavy snow with a height of 4 meters covered the entire area in the middle of autumn, before people were ready to prepare their necessities. It was an exhausting year, both for people and wildlife. The snow reached halfway up the pine trees. I remember deer, wolves, and bears coming to the countryside and town to find some food, replied Lucas

Amelia came to the desk, sat on a chair, and asked, do you think this year will be like that year?

Lucas put out his pipe, placed it on its wooden base that Amelia had made for him, and said, two days before the snow, when I left school to go back home, I noticed such a foggy cloud in the sky along with this unseasonal wind. There is no doubt it is the same conditions. After 30 years living here, even before our marriage, I learned many things form nature. I am not wrong about this. He got up from his chair and said, we must hurry and prepare whatever we need for the long period of snow and cold. He went to the hanger, put on his skin coat, tied a wide leather belt on his waist, and took his strap bag. Then he took his carbine gun from the wooden wall and a box of cartridges and a hunting knife from the table. As he strapped the knife to his belt and placed the cartridge box in the bag, Amelia asked, where are you going?

Lucas glanced at her and replied, we need enough stored food. I will try to find and hunt a deer. We don't have much time. Please stop sculpting, go to the yard, and chop some firewood. I'm sorry to have to go and can't do it myself. I will take the horse and one of the dogs with me. Close the fence door and release the dog in the yard.

Then he went to the two-barrel gun on the wall, loaded it with two cartridges, put it on the table, and said, Take the gun with you to the yard. Grizzly bears have a strong sense to predict bad weather conditions. One of them may appear around for food. Air fire and the dog's bark make it run away, so don't shoot at it. If it is injured, we will have a dangerous grizzly around us.

Amelia nodded, looked at the clock, and said, not much time left until noon. Do you know when you will return?

As Lucas took a piece of bread and cheese from the closet replied, it is not clear. It depends on my chance to find the herd of deer sooner. It will probably take until sunset. When Lucas opened the door to exit, he turned to Amelia and said, forgive me for leaving you alone. I know chopping wood is hard for you, but there is no alternative. We don't have much time, and we should hurry. Also, I will go to the town tomorrow morning to buy whatever we need for this long winter. If it snows a lot, which it will, going to town will be so difficult and risky.

Lucas got out and closed the door.

 

[THX1138]

It's reading better, but there are still some things that need fixing, and it still reads like a movie script.

Lucas was a hunter. He had to hunt one or two deer annually and, after smoking or salting their meat, kept a part of the meat for the long, snowy, and cold winter season. He also caught some salmon fish from the nearby river in the summer and smoked them too. For more income, he sometimes hunted a few foxes and otters and sold their skins to Mr. Jackson, in addition to the deer skins.

Before taking them to the town, he tanned the skins to make them usable for Jackson's customers. The first buyers were a few particular tailors who produced women's furry coats and shawls. Lucas bought beans, flour, spices, soap, potatoes, and some other necessities from the market after selling the skins and his wife's handcrafts. Amelia used a part of the food and things and stored the rest for cold seasons.

You can clear these two up and put them together since they pertain to Mr. Jacksons store. Something like:

Lucas had to hunt in order to survive and he would take one or two deer annually and, after smoking or salting their meat, kept a part of the meat for the long, snowy, and cold winter season. He would also go fishing for salmon at the nearby river in the summer and smoked them too. Hunting foxes and otters for their pelts, that he tanned himself, helped to add to the income along with the deer skins. It wasn't much, but Mr. Jackson was more than willing to take them in trade as there was a great demanded for good quality pelts for the current ladies' fashions in the big cities. With what Lucas received in cash and trade he bought beans, flour, spices, soap, potatoes, and some other necessities from the market after selling the skins and his wife's handcrafts. Amelia would use part of the food and things and stored the rest for cold seasons.


You are also missing a lot of quotation mark too and it's making too hard to follow as I don't know if I'm reading the characters thoughts or spoken words. I'll point out just a few, but it's throughout:

As Lucas puffed out the smoke, he broke the silence and said to his wife, I think winter will start earlier this year. Amelia stopped working and stared at Lucas with a questioning look. Lucas continued, we should wait for snow soon. This year will be a full snowy year with all its hardships.

Amelia said, but we are in the middle of autumn. There is still a month and a half left until winter.

However, I see the same signs in the climate that we observe at the beginning of winter. We should be ready to encounter this unusual weather this year and supply everything necessary, replied Lucas.

Amelia put the piece of wood and the carving knife on the small table beside the fireplace got up, and went toward the window. She took a look at the sky and the views around. Then she turned to her husband and said, surprised, but an hour ago, the sky was clear...

Lucas replied, and the wind! Do you see how it is blowing? Do you remember such rapid change here in the previous years?

As Lucas puffed out the smoke, he broke the silence and said to his wife, "I think winter will start earlier this year." Amelia stopped working and stared at Lucas with a questioning look. Lucas continued, "We should wait for snow soon. This year will be a full snowy year with all its hardships."

Amelia said, "But we are in the middle of autumn. There is still a month and a half left until winter."

"However, I see the same signs in the climate that we observe at the beginning of winter. We should be ready to encounter this unusual weather this year and supply everything necessary," replied Lucas.

Amelia put the piece of wood and the carving knife on the small table beside the fireplace got up and went toward the window. She took a look at the sky and the views around. Then she turned to her husband and said surprised, "But an hour ago, the sky was clear..."

Lucas replied, "And the wind! Do you see how it is blowing? Do you remember such rapid change here in the previous years?"


Keep going and keep working at it. I didn't post to your last one because the other two do a very good job critiquing.

 

[Mans]

I wrote the story myself but delivered it later to AI (part to part) to see if I had a mistake. AI considered quotation and the capital letters at the beginning of the dialogues, but I supposed it did a mistake! So, I corrected them by erasing the quotations and changing the letters!

That part you wrote is nice and is as a pattern to me. I will reread it carefully once again to see how I will can write like that.

Thank you so much for your attention and guidance

 

[Mans]

I wrote the story myself but delivered it later to AI (part to part) to see if I had a mistake. AI considered quotation and the capital letters at the beginning of the dialogues, but I supposed it did a mistake! So, I corrected them by erasing the quotations and changing the letters!

That part you wrote is nice and is like a pattern to me. I will reread it carefully once again to see how I will can write like that.

Thank you so much for your attention and guidance

 

[ColGray]

I like the setup and it's got intriguing questions -- why do they live so far out of town? Why does only Lucas go into town, and only once a month? And is the climate speaking to him or speaking to him?

I don't mind the lack of quotations, though i agree it is harder to follow and takes a moment to shift into the style. Cormac McCarthy rather famously eschewed the use of quotations in his writing and it is distinctive. That said, Cormac McCarthy is a flipping literary master and coopting his style might come off as a bit presumptive.

There's a LOT of tell in this, and very little show and I'm unsure if the POV is limited close third or omniscient third because it shifts a bit in places. This confusion is exacerbated by the lack of quotes and the over-formality of the language. Shifting one or two of those may help significantly.

Ex:

Amelia was busy working and did not pay attention to her surroundings. It was her occasional hobby when she finished her housework. She had acquired a good skill in sculpting after a few years of practice and experience. She could sculpt several dolls and animal statues in a week. They were often in shape of deer, dogs, wolves, and bears. When Lucas went to Nanton town once every month, he sold Amelia's handicrafts to Mr. Jackson, who had a rag shop in the city center. His customers were often travelers who journeyed through the town or stayed there for a few days.

Amelia ignored the surroundings and busied herself carving a doll from scrap wood and he appreciated her growth in skill. When she'd begun the hobby, the animals she carved had been blocky things, coarse and hard lined. But as she turned over the wolf to peel a strip of pale wood, he saw the delicate hatches for fur and jagged lines on the muzzle and ears.

Mr. Jackson agreed. When Lucas had offered them for sale on one of his monthly sojourns into Nanton, the rag merchant had grudgingly bought the handicrafts in addition to the pelts and smoked meats Lucas delivered. Mr. Jackson now eagerly awaited the carvings, and paid triple what he initially offered. The additional income might allow them to buy ____ etc

The same is true for the dialogue. It feels stiff? And very formal. Speak it aloud--or use the text to voice function in Word--and it feels and sounds off and not in a stylized way.

As Lucas puffed out the smoke, he broke the silence and said to his wife, I think winter will start earlier this year. Amelia stopped working and stared at Lucas with a questioning look. Lucas continued, we should wait for snow soon. This year will be a full snowy year with all its hardships.

Lucas puffed out the smoke, then broke the silence. Winter'll start early this year. Amelia peeled another thin strip of pale wood, then looked up with a raised eyebrow. We'll have snow soon, he said. The winds wrong. It'll be a snowy winter. And hard.

Or

Amelia! The climate of the area speaks to me. Before you and your family migrated to Nanton, I was a teenager and lived with my parents there. At that young age, I experienced an early winter with the same signs. I don't forget it. That year, heavy snow with a height of 4 meters covered the entire area in the middle of autumn, before people were ready to prepare their necessities. It was an exhausting year, both for people and wildlife. The snow reached halfway up the pine trees. I remember deer, wolves, and bears coming to the countryside and town to find some food, replied Lucas

The wind speaks and we'd do well to heed its message. When i was a teen, living in Nanton with my parents I felt the same and held my tongue. I wish I hadn't. Harvest wasn't fully in yet, but the snow came early and heavy. Two meters was on the ground by the solstice and was halfway up the pines before spring showed her face. Deer came into town looking for twigs and leavings--and the wolves came after the deer.

etc. (also, bears hibernate in the winter and wouldn't wander around)

It's a good start!

 

[msstice]

At one point I used Free Grammar Checker - LanguageTool to check grammar but I stopped: I'm confident enough in my English grammar and I get annoyed enough by the false negatives such tools generate. I would never give my text to an LLM.

 

[Mans]

I like the setup and it's got intriguing questions -- why do they live so far out of town? Why does only Lucas go into town, and only once a month? And is the climate speaking to him or speaking to him?

I don't mind the lack of quotations, though i agree it is harder to follow and takes a moment to shift into the style. Cormac McCarthy rather famously eschewed the use of quotations in his writing and it is distinctive. That said, Cormac McCarthy is a flipping literary master and coopting his style might come off as a bit presumptive.

There's a LOT of tell in this, and very little show and I'm unsure if the POV is limited close third or omniscient third because it shifts a bit in places. This confusion is exacerbated by the lack of quotes and the over-formality of the language. Shifting one or two of those may help significantly.

Ex:


Amelia ignored the surroundings and busied herself carving a doll from scrap wood and he appreciated her growth in skill. When she'd begun the hobby, the animals she carved had been blocky things, coarse and hard lined. But as she turned over the wolf to peel a strip of pale wood, he saw the delicate hatches for fur and jagged lines on the muzzle and ears.

Mr. Jackson agreed. When Lucas had offered them for sale on one of his monthly sojourns into Nanton, the rag merchant had grudgingly bought the handicrafts in addition to the pelts and smoked meats Lucas delivered. Mr. Jackson now eagerly awaited the carvings, and paid triple what he initially offered. The additional income might allow them to buy ____ etc

The same is true for the dialogue. It feels stiff? And very formal. Speak it aloud--or use the text to voice function in Word--and it feels and sounds off and not in a stylized way.


Lucas puffed out the smoke, then broke the silence. Winter'll start early this year. Amelia peeled another thin strip of pale wood, then looked up with a raised eyebrow. We'll have snow soon, he said. The winds wrong. It'll be a snowy winter. And hard.

Or



The wind speaks and we'd do well to heed its message. When i was a teen, living in Nanton with my parents I felt the same and held my tongue. I wish I hadn't. Harvest wasn't fully in yet, but the snow came early and heavy. Two meters was on the ground by the solstice and was halfway up the pines before spring showed her face. Deer came into town looking for twigs and leavings--and the wolves came after the deer.

etc. (also, bears hibernate in the winter and wouldn't wander around)

It's a good start!

Your writing is actually the manner of writing of an expert who is like a mobile Oxford dictionary and is familiar with the choices and interests of native English readers! I couldn't even read your nested and complicated sentences easily!

I confess, despite my talent in fiction writing, I cannot follow that manner or method of writing because of my shortage in such dialect. I am like a kid in the English language, who has recently learned how to walk, scrambling!

I have a question. Can I become an English writer through formal writing (of course, by considering grammar and storytelling rules)?

 

[Mans]

At one point I used Free Grammar Checker - LanguageTool to check grammar but I stopped: I'm confident enough in my English grammar and I get annoyed enough by the false negatives such tools generate. I would never give my text to an LLM.

You are right. Sometimes the bot makes things worse and creates changes that are not according to the purpose of the writer. Of course, I supervise the application to ensure that it does not change the content.

 

[Hikokage]

First of all, I like the setting. It gives plenty of room for interesting things to happen.

Like said before, I noticed the missing quotation. But that's just punctuation and should be fixed easily.

When I started to read, a couple of questions sprang into mind. Why are they living so far from town in the wilderness? And indeed Why is Lucas going alone to town and does he not take his wife (and dogs) with him? Is she sick maybe? Because cutting wood is hard for her.
There are no answers to these questions (yet).

The scene starts of in a very serene way. I think the weather change is the inciting incident for this story. Lucas is upset with it, but just sits down and smokes his pipe. To make this more important, you could do something like:

Lucas stepped forward... trees on the downhill. "Hmm," he muttered and went to put on his skin coat. He walked to the weapon cabinet and took the carabiner gun and two packs of cartridges. The sound of the loading of the gun made his wife put down the piece of wood she was carving and looked up, raising her eyebrows. "What is it?"
"The weather is going to change soon." ... etc

The descriptive part about who and what they are, seems a bit unnecessary. You can also make them do something that shows their situation. If this is the beginning of a longer story, you might get the chance to show, instead of tell, later on in the story how Lucas goes to town and add dialog with Mr Jackons to describe their financial situation.

 

[ColGray]

Your writing is actually the manner of writing of an expert who is like a mobile Oxford dictionary and is familiar with the choices and interests of native English readers! I couldn't even read your nested and complicated sentences easily!

I confess, despite my talent in fiction writing, I cannot follow that manner or method of writing because of my shortage in such dialect. I am like a kid in the English language, who has recently learned how to walk, scrambling!

Gah, sorry! I didn't realize English was a non-native language. Okay, let me reframe (and, apologies as I will now be presumptive: I'm American from the east-coast and have family in the American Midwest and Brazil, so if my choice of description is/language is more focused on Brazil/Portuguese I apologize)

If you were writing in your native language, would dialogue be formal or informal? The way i read your dialogue in this scene (as an American) is very formal and, therefore, odd. I find it odd because I assume a husband and wife have familiarity with one another and, seeing no other adults or children in the scene, I assume they share a level of comfort and ease with each other. In different times and places, that may or may not be the case. But that it is different from my expectation (of how a husband and wife speak to one another) can be either interesting or off-putting. My thought process is:

Interesting: There are social or cultural barriers to familiarity between the husband and wife and the reader is aware that the language is intentionally formal.

Off-putting: People don't speak this way and this is weird and why is this happening <yawn>.

In full honesty, you come across as far more than a kid in English--your English is far better than my Spanish or Portuguese! Whatever your native language, this didn't strike me as someone writing in a second (or third+) language, but as a younger writer. The main reason I say that is because of the focus on tell versus show. Example: You tell the reader Lucas is a hunter versus showing how he provides for his family by hunting. You tell the reader that Amelia carves things that look good versus showing how her carvings are desirable (which we, the reader, then interpret as being good).

I have a question. Can I become an English writer through formal writing (of course, by considering grammar and storytelling rules)?

I don't know but I will say that some of the most interesting books I've read in the last decade were written in a Non-English language and translated after the fact. Murakami is the name that immediately jumps to mind (it's late here), despite a recent (hard) decline and his infantilizing views on women and sexuality. His Bildungsroman (fancy word for coming of age stories) books are fantastic and he wrote in Japanese and then translated into English and other languages. I wish i could answer this question for you, but my only advice is to write your best book with your best language and feel things and make others feel things. The specific words and grammar will flow from that.

You've got talent and you put in the effort--and effort beats talent 99% of the time. Keep at it!

 

[Mans]

Interesting: There are social or cultural barriers to familiarity between the husband and wife and the reader is aware that the language is intentionally formal.

Off-putting: People don't speak this way and this is weird and why is this happening

I know the solution! I should learn daily common conversation in English- speaking communities like these:


Nice to meet you = it was nice meeting you

How’s it going? = “how are you?”

What’s up?

What do you do? = “what is your job?” (not what are you doing)

What do you think about…? (This book)

How did you get into…? means to be interested in something

Check this out! to ask someone to look at something

that sounds good.

That works for me. to agree to a suggestion

Have a good one. saying goodbye. It means “have a good day.

I’m heading home. I’m heading to work now.

Could you say that again, please? natural way of saying ‘please repeat’.

What does __ mean?

f you don’t know the meaning of a word, you should ask “what does __ mean.” Be careful: it is not correct to say “what means __?”

Do you mind if I…?

I was wondering if… “I was wondering if I could borrow your notes.” Instead of “Can I borrow your notes?”

Could you give me a hand?

Give someone a hand means help someone, usually with something physical. If you need help, you can ask “Could you give me a hand?” If you see someone who might need help, for example someone is trying to move a heavy object, you can ask “Can I give you a hand with that?” When we are asking for help, we usually use ‘could’ because it sounds more polite than ‘can’.

I really appreciate it.

I’ll let you know. This means “I will tell you.” You can use this phrase when you don’t have an answer immediately,

I’ll get back to you soon. We usually use this expression for emails or phone calls rather than face-to-face conversations.

Is it a good way to learn such common phrases to use in a story? Nevertheless, I think there are so many common non-bookish and default expressions that I should memorize!

 

[Mans]

Hi, Hikokage

Why are they living so far from town in the wilderness? And indeed Why is Lucas going alone to town and does he not take his wife (and dogs) with him? Is she sick maybe? Because cutting wood is hard for her.
There are no answers to these questions (yet).

Some people choose this way of living due to events in their life or other reasons. Amelia shares the same opinion as Lucas about living there, or she has been adapted to live with Lucas because she loves him.

Lucas is upset with it, but just sits down and smokes his pipe.

He sits and thinks to be sure it is the same unexpected change he experienced years ago. What you wrote is nice but doesn't show the hesitation of Lucas to reach a certain conclusion through thinking and analyzing the event.

he descriptive part about who and what they are, seems a bit unnecessary. You can also make them do something that shows their situation. If this is the beginning of a longer story, you might get the chance to show, instead of tell, later on in the story how Lucas goes to town and add dialog with Mr Jackons to describe their financial situation.

You are right

I tried to write this piece briefly to reach the scene when Lucas leaves the cottage. I could expand the story with more details, whether by describing the scenes or characters more, but I wanted the piece to be short in this step. This piece of story can be edited and modified later.

 

[Hikokage]

Gah, sorry! I didn't realize English was a non-native language. Okay, let me reframe (and, apologies as I will now be presumptive: I'm American from the east-coast and have family in the American Midwest and Brazil, so if my choice of description is/language is more focused on Brazil/Portuguese I apologize)
...

I agree that writing in your native language is much easier. Although I try to read books in the language they were written in, it sometimes is just not possible (because I don't speak the language). The original language often contains the tiny nuances that are very difficult to translate well.
For me, writing in English was a reason to learn to speak and write better non-formal English. I wrote educational books in Dutch (my native language) and started writing fiction in English to learn those nuances. So maybe Man's has similar motivations to write in English.
For a non-native writer, the story is well written (as far as I can tell at least)

 

[Hikokage]

Hi, Hikokage

Some people choose this way of living due to events in their life or other reasons. Amelia shares the same opinion as Lucas about living there, or she has been adapted to live with Lucas because she loves him.

I might have phrased my sentences wrongly here. By the questions that spring to mind I actually mean the level of immersion that the reader gets when starting to read.
IMHO, the best stories start with describing a situation that raises questions. It makes the reader involved and wanting to read more.
My compliments for this, because your story raises those questions.

You are right that Lucas probably will sit down and think about the situation first before acting. He is an older and wiser person. Also, you know him better than any of us.

 

[ColGray]

Interesting: There are social or cultural barriers to familiarity between the husband and wife and the reader is aware that the language is intentionally formal.

Off-putting: People don't speak this way and this is weird and why is this happening

I know the solution! I should learn daily common conversation in English- speaking communities like these:


Nice to meet you = it was nice meeting you

How’s it going? = “how are you?”

You got it, yeah.

Not to trip too far down the linguistic theory rabbit hole, but there's also a difference between formal / informal and colloquialisms. In my prior job I often worked with people in India and Bulgaria and idiomatic colloquialisms were a problem.

Formal Language: Used in areas of social power imbalance or as a way to recognize and use language to highlight power imbalance and exclusion. Formal language use denotes and in and out group -- the "in" group knows and uses formal language to denote and exclude the "out" group. Relies on conscious choice to use full words, proper grammar and few or no contractions (did not vs didn't).

Informal Language: Default natural language for most speakers of a given language that emphasizes facility and fluency and denotes that the speaker belongs to the social group. Relies on subconscious social understanding for when to use full words, proper/improper grammar and contractions--basically, speaking in this way tells other people that you do/not belong to a given social group.

Colloquialisms: Words, phrases or expressions that rely on idioms to reflect regional dialects, cultural nuances and localized speech patterns. Many colloquialisms convey meaning that appears to be irrelevant to the chosen words and are often very difficult to translate across languages and culture as they reflect the cultural and linguistic history of the language/speaker. Colloquialisms can be formal or informal.

Meaning	Formal	Colloquial Formal	Informal	Colloquial Informal
The man died.	He died.	He passed away.	He died.	He kicked the bucket.
Please stop talking.	Cease speaking.	Cease your prattling.	Shut your mouth.	Shut your pie hole.
A large group of people.	All of you.	Your cohort.	Y'all	The whole kitten caboodle.
Have a serious discussion	We should speak privately.	Be frank.	Let's chat.	We need to have a heart to heart.
To be mistaken	You are mistaken.	You are in error.	You're wrong.	You're off base.

Language is fun!

 

[msstice]

The man died.

PS. List of English-language euphemisms for death - Wikipedia

And the best thing is you can invent your own and people will understand.

 

[Mans]

Good explanations and examples!

I understood what informal language and colloquialisms are, but I didn't realize the formal language. Does that mean it is specific to secularism, nobles, the upper social classes such as scientists and writers, and so on?

 

[Mans]

For me, writing in English was a reason to learn to speak and write better non-formal English. I wrote educational books in Dutch (my native language) and started writing fiction in English to learn those nuances. So maybe Man's has similar motivations to write in English.
For a non-native writer, the story is well written (as far as I can tell at least)

Yes, my purpose was the same.

At the beginning of learning English, I only participated in some discussions in various forums with broken English. I remember the first one was a paranormal forum in Australia. I bet they didn't understand what I wrote and they probably thought it was a new language like Esperanto! Nevertheless, they were eventually able to translate it into English!

After the years, as I made average progress, I gradually started attempting to write short stories. I decided to join a story writing forum called WF.org. One of the rules on the website stated that before submitting a story for critique, the writer must critique two stories written by others. My critiques usually consisted of phrases like "It is good!", "Thank you for sharing your story!" , "I enjoyed it as a reader!" or "Please try to write better!"...

After a while, the forum administrator (who was a serious and strict supervisor) informed me, "Your critiques are not acceptable. They are actually shirking one's duty. Therefore, you can read the contents of the forum but cannot submit any stories to the workshop until you provide 80 honest critiques about others' stories."

Afterwards, I tried to send 80 critiques to the workshop, but it was an overwhelming task and I could not send more than 20. As a result, he canceled my membership! (3 years ago).

However, fiction writing is the most difficult type of writing in all languages because the writer has to be familiar with many various words and phrases (not only in one field) and be able to create different characters and scenes and describe them masterfully. So in addition to being fluent in that language, he/she should be talented in story writing and have a potential mind in this field.

 

[Hikokage]

Yes, my purpose was the same.

I couldn't agree more.
I have seen the forums where you have to submit critiques before able to post yourself. I understand that they want to stop people from leaching and not add anything useful but 80 is quite a bit.

Btw: your English has come a long way. The reply you wrote looks to me, as a non-native, pretty well written.

 

[Mans]

Btw: your English has come a long way. The reply you wrote looks to me, as a non-native, pretty well written.

Thank you for your graceful comments

Yes, it was a long way, and my slow progression has two reasons:

1- I never tried to learn English academically.

2- I always wrote according to my first language rules creatively! (There are some differences between the grammar and syntax structures of the two languages. Usually, my first language uses more comments that are considered redundant in English. Also, the places of words are different in the two languages more or less )

3- One of my problems had always been forgetting the "New Words" and " grammar rules in English due to my lower IQ (lol) or paying attention less in this aspect.