Query Letter Critique

[Culhwch]

Hi all! It's been a long time since I posted anything here for critique - the younger version of me was apparently a little more confident!

I'm currently kicking around a completed YA fantasy novel, and I'm tentatively dipping my toe into the confronting world of submitting to agents. I've been trying to digest the wide range of advice that is out there, and synthesise it all into something that makes sense for my context. After many revisions I have come up with the below, which I think is okay - but I may be an unreliable narrator in my own story. So I thought I'd best seek some feedback from the Chrons hivemind - any suggestions or general advice very much welcome!

The other thing I'm having trouble with is nailing down the genre and finding comparison titles. It's secondary world fantasy but with no magical elements, limited romance (there are hints at most, but the focus is on friendship and found family), and it sort of sits in the steampunk/dieselpunk aesthetic without wholly embracing those genres. The comps I do have are all a little outdated, so if anyone has suggestions of newish YA novels that in some way crossover this vague description, please do share. I'm going mental trawling through Goodreads lists and reading sample chapters on Amazon!

***

Dear [agent],

I’m currently seeking representation for my standalone YA fantasy novel, RAVEN QUEEN’S FLIGHT, complete at 104 000 words. Given your interest in [genre/agent specific callouts], I believe it would be a good fit for your list. [sentence about comps]

Following the assassination of her parents, fifteen-year-old Aveline, heir to the vast Voronovan Empire, is left devastated and alone. She barely has time to grieve before she discovers her father’s trusted advisor, the Archduke Konstantin, has designs on her throne. Fearing imprisonment and aided by her loyal tutor, Karyl, she flees the Imperial Palace by airship.

Kohl and his companions, Matthy and Surit, are scout riders from the Free Cities, beyond the Sentinel Mountains. They patrol the northern passes mounted on giant birds of prey, watching for smugglers and other threats. When they spy an unmarked frigate attempting a crossing, the plucky Kohl sneaks aboard and finds more than he expected. The three scouts are quickly drawn into Aveline’s quest to reclaim her throne, and an unlikely friendship is forged.

When Karyl is grievously wounded protecting Aveline from agents of the archduke, the young queen must make the difficult decision to carry on without him. Her goal: to reach distant Sindhar, on the far side of Voronova. There she hopes to enlist the aid of her maternal uncle, Prince Iskander - a man she barely knows. She sets out with her new friends on their raptor mounts, venturing into lands that were once her home but have now become enemy territory.

[bio]

Thank you for your consideration. Regardless of the outcome, I appreciate the time you have taken to read through my submission.

Kind regards,

 

[Swank]

I don't know anything about submission formats, but this seems like a reasonably cogent summary with the right sort of exotic details and mystery to win some curiosity

Wouldn't be a bad cover blurb.

 

[Culhwch]

I don't know anything about submission formats, but this seems like a reasonably cogent summary with the right sort of exotic details and mystery to win some curiosity

Wouldn't be a bad cover blurb.

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback! Good to know it reads well and generates some curiosity.

 

[HareBrain]

I think it's longer than ideal for a query plot-summary (I would aim for two paragraphs), and I've also heard that you should focus on the most important character, even where the narrative is split. You could make the second paragraph also from Aveline's perspective: en route her ship is invaded by riders of giant raptors, and she persuades them (how? battle of wits?) to aid her quest. This would get rid of the passive "are quickly drawn in to" and make her seem a more active character.

You might also think about getting rid of some of the names. I'm not sure how agents read queries, but if it were me, I would assume that if someone is given a name in a query, it's probably one I need to remember. But this effort of memory is disruptive. The archduke's name is mentioned only once and could be got rid of. Karyl is mentioned twice but he could simply be called "her tutor" both times. It's easier to remember a position than a fantasy name. (I wonder if he needs to be mentioned at all: the arc of Aveline's story still makes sense without him, and it makes her feel a more active character if she escapes without help.) I don't even know if the empire needs to be named. In a synopsis yes, in a query possibly not.

I would also try to find a way to play up what is unique about your story or what would attract readers most. For me, it would be the idea that this is a world in which airships and eagle-riders occupy the skies, plus the plucky young heroine (but in what way is she different from other plucky young bereaved heroines who are targets of palace intrigue?)

Hope that helps! Queries are tough.

 

[Culhwch]

Thanks, HB! Appreciate your thoughts!

I think it's longer than ideal for a query plot-summary (I would aim for two paragraphs), and I've also heard that you should focus on the most important character, even where the narrative is split. You could make the second paragraph also from Aveline's perspective: en route her ship is invaded by riders of giant raptors, and she persuades them (how? battle of wits?) to aid her quest. This would get rid of the passive "are quickly drawn in to" and make her seem a more active character.

Conventional wisdom seems to put the ideal word count for the blurb section at 200-250 words, with a little more leeway for fantasy where a bit of worldbuilding may be needed, and mine is at 212 so I'm not too concerned with that. Although the story is primarily Aveline's, it's actually dual POV from Kohl's perspective as well, so I think having a paragraph establishing at least him is important. I've been tossing up whether to put a note about the dual POV up top, but I've seen a lot of advice to focus on one character in a query (and in this case Aveline is the primary MC, with Kohl more of a secondary MC/primary supporting character).

The three scouts are drawn in a little more organically rather than due to one incident, so it'd be hard to succinctly explain that without expanding the word count, I think. Karyl's injury is really the main catalyst for them to help her - I was just playing a little loose with the timings for the sake of brevity and flow. But I'll have a look at those two paragraphs and see what I can do with them.

You might also think about getting rid of some of the names. I'm not sure how agents read queries, but if it were me, I would assume that if someone is given a name in a query, it's probably one I need to remember. But this effort of memory is disruptive. The archduke's name is mentioned only once and could be got rid of. Karyl is mentioned twice but he could simply be called "her tutor" both times. It's easier to remember a position than a fantasy name. (I wonder if he needs to be mentioned at all: the arc of Aveline's story still makes sense without him, and it makes her feel a more active character if she escapes without help.) I don't even know if the empire needs to be named. In a synopsis yes, in a query possibly not.

This is a good point. All characters named play key roles in the story (my earlier drafts had more!) so I felt they belonged. I'll definitely think about this.

As I mentioned above, Karyl's wounding is a key point - it's when Aveline loses her safety net and must take full control of her destiny - so I don't want to lose it, but I could potentially reframe it.

I would also try to find a way to play up what is unique about your story or what would attract readers most. For me, it would be the idea that this is a world in which airships and eagle-riders occupy the skies, plus the plucky young heroine (but in what way is she different from other plucky young bereaved heroines who are targets of palace intrigue?)

Good point! I'll definitely think about this on my next pass.

Hope that helps! Queries are tough.

Tell me about it....!

 

[HareBrain]

Conventional wisdom seems to put the ideal word count for the blurb section at 200-250 words, with a little more leeway for fantasy where a bit of worldbuilding may be needed, and mine is at 212 so I'm not too concerned with that.

That's interesting. I heard (from an agent on YouTube whose name I can't remember) that he prefers about half that. He might be unusual, though.

 

[ColGray]

In the midst of querying and totally feel your pain!

My first reaction is that there are too many names, your WC is too high for YA, the action/motivation is a bit jumbled and I don't understand the connection between your title and summary. I also want more of your voice--it reads as very, This and then THIS and then THIS and then... Gimme the cool sizzle!

Too Many Names
I agree with HB: you've got 9 names in ~250 words. Some are people and some are places. I'd edit out as many as possible. Do we need to know her uncles name? I'd argue not. Do we need all three scout's names? What about free cities vs different cities and the rest. Streamline and reduce proper nouns.

Word Count
My understanding is the ideal YA WC is 75k-85K with maybe a bit of grace given for SF/F -- but with YA, the demo is more important than the genre. 100k+ is setting an obstacle in front of you.

Action/Motivation
I like the opening paragraph--this is our MC, this is what upended her life and here is the problem. Finding out that she was fleeing to find her estranged uncle in the last paragraph felt like, oh that's why she fled. I had assumed she was just GTFO'ing to avoid being killed. You might rework that -- either to highlight that, in fact, she is just fleeing to get out/accepts exile, then meets these border agents and gradually comes up with a plan to seek aid from her estranged uncle, or, Accompanied only by her trusted servant, she flees to the south to enlist the aid of her estranged uncle.

Either way, that tells me the story arc -- parents killed, new threat, flees with a purpose, what happens when she arrives?

Which is the last bit: the end of your query makes it sound like they ride off into the sunset and like the opening to the real story. All this stuff happens and now our heroine is without safety net and she has to figure it out. Reframing as, Now without her trusted companion and with her airship in ruins she must cross enemy territory with new friends in hopes of convincing her uncle to help restore her throne--but with a growing suspicion that her uncle and the archduke are in league (or whatever-- some kind of tease to a climax/cliffhanger)

Raven Queen's Flight
Where does raven queen come from? Is she crowned the queen before fleeing? From the opening paragraph, i had assumed she left prior to being installed as queen. And why ravens? They have a fairly specific set of symbolism attached to them, so I'd want to hear more.

Voice + Cool Factor
I want more of your voice in this--show me the flourish of your style and why I should want to read more. The tone is heavily down the middle reporting, in part, i think, because you switch POV's from Avelina to Kohl. I would pick one (and as someone who writes multi-POV, i appreciate how hard that is!) but you'll end up with something that showcases one character and draws in the reader more. YA, especially, is character identification driven -- your Katnis, your Harry, your Percy, etc. Give the reader a character they can root for immediately.

Standalone vs Standalone with Series Potential
This seems to be a significant distinction, especially in SF/F. Standalone implies the conflict with the archduke et al is resolved and the story is complete by the end-Aveline is on the throne or the conflict is otherwise resolved.

Standalone with Series Potential implies this story is a complete story, but that there is more to tell in this world/with these characters and the overarching plot is/may not be complete -- example: the story ends with her arrival at her uncle and then being thrown in prison/throne in prison.

Hope that helps and good luck with querying!

 

[Culhwch]

Cheers - I appreciate the feedback!

Too Many Names
I agree with HB: you've got 9 names in ~250 words. Some are people and some are places. I'd edit out as many as possible. Do we need to know her uncles name? I'd argue not. Do we need all three scout's names? What about free cities vs different cities and the rest. Streamline and reduce proper nouns.

I keep hearing this feedback, so there must be something to it! I've been working on it and it's a struggle, because I feel like I've already reduced the names and locations down to the bare minimum I need to make it make sense and convey the story that I'm telling. But I also know that this is a sales pitch - and if it's a good one the agent/editor will hopefully flick to the synopsis and find out more.

The fantasy locations angle is killing me, though. How much easier it is to say, 'In New York, blah blah is blahing the blah. Meanwhile, in LA, blahty blah blah...'

Word Count
My understanding is the ideal YA WC is 75k-85K with maybe a bit of grace given for SF/F -- but with YA, the demo is more important than the genre. 100k+ is setting an obstacle in front of you.

Another frequently identified issue. I am still revising, in the hopes of revising it down, though I'm not sure I can get it sub-85K. I've been looking at stats on Query Manager, though, and the agents I'm targeting have fairly encouraging positive response rates specifically to YA fantasy in the 90K-110K range, so I'm not terribly concerned.

Action/Motivation
I like the opening paragraph--this is our MC, this is what upended her life and here is the problem. Finding out that she was fleeing to find her estranged uncle in the last paragraph felt like, oh that's why she fled. I had assumed she was just GTFO'ing to avoid being killed. You might rework that -- either to highlight that, in fact, she is just fleeing to get out/accepts exile, then meets these border agents and gradually comes up with a plan to seek aid from her estranged uncle, or, Accompanied only by her trusted servant, she flees to the south to enlist the aid of her estranged uncle.

Either way, that tells me the story arc -- parents killed, new threat, flees with a purpose, what happens when she arrives?

Which is the last bit: the end of your query makes it sound like they ride off into the sunset and like the opening to the real story. All this stuff happens and now our heroine is without safety net and she has to figure it out. Reframing as, Now without her trusted companion and with her airship in ruins she must cross enemy territory with new friends in hopes of convincing her uncle to help restore her throne--but with a growing suspicion that her uncle and the archduke are in league (or whatever-- some kind of tease to a climax/cliffhanger)

Fair comments. I've been looking at other queries and lots of query guides, and had structured it on the general advice to cover the first third or so of your story, and then hint towards what the remainder of the story involves. But I think I can rework this so it is more effective.

Raven Queen's Flight
Where does raven queen come from? Is she crowned the queen before fleeing? From the opening paragraph, i had assumed she left prior to being installed as queen. And why ravens? They have a fairly specific set of symbolism attached to them, so I'd want to hear more.

I'll let you in on a little secret - I not actually thrilled with this title. But unfortunately it's the best one I've been able to come up with.

t's not meaningless, though, and it is actually explained in the first chapter (there's a royal sigil and a pendant that comes up a few times in the story, and obviously the flight part is self-explanatory). There's not really any space in the query to explain this, though, as it's not exactly a driving story beat.

Voice + Cool Factor
I want more of your voice in this--show me the flourish of your style and why I should want to read more. The tone is heavily down the middle reporting, in part, i think, because you switch POV's from Avelina to Kohl. I would pick one (and as someone who writes multi-POV, i appreciate how hard that is!) but you'll end up with something that showcases one character and draws in the reader more. YA, especially, is character identification driven -- your Katnis, your Harry, your Percy, etc. Give the reader a character they can root for immediately.

Working on this, and I have since re-written it from Aveline's POV only. But you're right, it's hard - the heart of the story is the friendship that builds between all four of the young characters, so I feel it's minimising that aspect to push aside the other characters.

Standalone vs Standalone with Series Potential
This seems to be a significant distinction, especially in SF/F. Standalone implies the conflict with the archduke et al is resolved and the story is complete by the end-Aveline is on the throne or the conflict is otherwise resolved.

Standalone with Series Potential implies this story is a complete story, but that there is more to tell in this world/with these characters and the overarching plot is/may not be complete -- example: the story ends with her arrival at her uncle and then being thrown in prison/throne in prison.

It's standalone-standalone - and I don't really have any thoughts for a continuation or related story, so I feel like it would be misleading to add 'with series potential', even though that seems to be on trend at the moment.

Hope that helps and good luck with querying!

Definitely helpful, and thanks!

 

[Culhwch]

Okay, version two (actually, like, twenty-three or something)... The blurb section has grown to almost three hundred words, which is definitely pushing it - but it's very hard to be concise and yet coherent and voice-y!

*

Dear ____,

When sixteen-year-old Aveline’s parents are assassinated, she is left devastated, alone - and the rightful queen of Voronova. She barely has time to grieve before she discovers her father’s trusted advisor, Konstantin, has both designs on her throne and plans for a war her father never wanted. Fearing imprisonment and aided by her loyal tutor, Karyl, she flees.

Along the way her airship is infiltrated by Kohl, a goshawk-riding corporal from the neighbouring Free Cities. Impressed by the young scout’s daring and enchanted by his mount, Aveline is nevertheless concerned they will be turned back—but Kohl persuades his superiors to let them pass, even providing an escort to his home city.

Once there, Aveline escapes the confines of her small cabin—and Karyl’s watchful eye—to venture with Kohl to the Aerie, home of the scouts’ raptors. On the return journey they are ambushed by Konstantin’s agents. Although Karyl intervenes, he is grievously wounded and left unconscious.

Guilt stricken and conflicted over what to do, Aveline is on the edge of giving up—but she finds support from an unexpected quarter. Feeling his own remorse over Karyl’s wounding, and with an undeniable bond forming with the young queen, Kohl offers to help Aveline continue her journey.

If she is to retake her throne, Aveline needs allies. Her maternal uncle, Prince Iskander, commands the martial power she needs to challenge Konstantin—but he is in distant Sindhar, on the far side of Voronova, and is a man she barely knows, besides. Even should she reach Iskander and convince him to help, leading an army into Voronova would betray her father’s ideals—but it may also be the only way to preserve them.

With renewed determination Avaline sets out with Kohl, flying into a land that was once her home but has now become enemy territory.

RAVEN QUEEN’S FLIGHT is a standalone YA fantasy novel, complete at 104 000 words. Given your interest in [genre/agent specific callouts], I believe it would be a good fit for your list. [sentence about comps]

[bio]

Thank you for your consideration. Regardless of the outcome, I appreciate the time you have taken to read through my submission.

Kind regards,

 

[ColGray]

Working on this, and I have since re-written it from Aveline's POV only. But you're right, it's hard - the heart of the story is the friendship that builds between all four of the young characters, so I feel it's minimising that aspect to push aside the other characters.

I'd say that, then: Four friends must navigate complex friendships as they... etc. It's also okay to say, RAVEN QUEEN’S FLIGHT is a standalone multi-POV YA fantasy novel, etc.

Are all 4 characters POV characters? I can't recall who said/where I read, but I recall someone suggested that, with multi-POV, write your query from the POV of the character who would dominate the movie the poster. I found that very helpful, by YMMV.

I also had the same feeling when i was writing my query and like, no, i can't NOT mention these people who are central to the plot and story! But it turns out, you can--and you should cut them. It's a sales pitch to an experienced buyer. They won't assume there aren't other characters or that they aren't important; they'll see an author too focused on narrative purity to effectively pitch it. The query is obnoxiously reductive and oversimplified and not built for multi-pov. But, at the core, the focus is: What's the story, what's the cool, why do I care. All those other characters and names and details are still in the manuscript and in the synopsis but pare precision is the name of the game for queries.

All this is with huge, heaping piles of salt. There's a lot of advice out there, but no one can say, definitively, this and not that. Ultimately, it's your manuscript: pitch it like it's a book you'd pick up off the shelf and buy!

 

[Culhwch]

I'd say that, then: Four friends must navigate complex friendships as they... etc. It's also okay to say, RAVEN QUEEN’S FLIGHT is a standalone multi-POV YA fantasy novel, etc.

Are all 4 characters POV characters? I can't recall who said/where I read, but I recall someone suggested that, with multi-POV, write your query from the POV of the character who would dominate the movie the poster. I found that very helpful, by YMMV.

Only the two. I definitely think it's tighter focussing on just the primary MC, even if it is at the expense of the broader friendship throughline.

I also had the same feeling when i was writing my query and like, no, i can't NOT mention these people who are central to the plot and story! But it turns out, you can--and you should cut them. It's a sales pitch to an experienced buyer. They won't assume there aren't other characters or that they aren't important; they'll see an author too focused on narrative purity to effectively pitch it. The query is obnoxiously reductive and oversimplified and not built for multi-pov. But, at the core, the focus is: What's the story, what's the cool, why do I care. All those other characters and names and details are still in the manuscript and in the synopsis but pare precision is the name of the game for queries.

All this is with huge, heaping piles of salt. There's a lot of advice out there, but no one can say, definitively, this and not that. Ultimately, it's your manuscript: pitch it like it's a book you'd pick up off the shelf and buy!

Yeah, I've definitely experienced that. The one piece of advice I did see and liked was that the query letter doesn't have to be perfect - it just has to be good enough to connect with the person reading it and make them want to read more.

 

[Toby Frost]

I don't know where you're submitting this and whether there is a particular set way of doing it there - but I get the feeling that the rules are broadly similar everywhere. As ever, always follow the guidelines they give.

Are you also submitting a synopsis as well (which would be normal)? If so, I don't think you need to give so much detail about what happens in the story. To reduce it to its bare bones: Aveline is orphaned and next in line to the throne, but Konstantin wants to take it from her. She flees and gathers allies to take it back. That's fine but a bit generic. Aveline and Konstantin sound like a plucky YA heroine and a scheming grand vizier. So I'd add something about the setting. My mind hopes that she has to flee quickly when Konstantin launches a coup, or that it turns out he killed her parents.

So maybe something like "Princess Aveline is the heir to the throne of Voronovia [or just "a vast empire"], where towering cities are linked by airships and giant birds [this setting bit, particularly the birds, feels especially interesting]. When Archduke Konstantin launches a coup [or whatever], Aveline is forced to flee in disguise. She gathers a rag-tag band of allies, but must struggle to hold their group together."

This might also be a good point to mention any romantic interest, but it needs to be more than just saying that she fancies someone. "Her attraction to the republican soldier Conrad threatens to fracture the alliance etc". At this point (and this is just me) I would like to see some hint of how the adventure affects Aveline herself. "Aveline learns that there is more to leading than her position of birth" or the like. If I read a story like this, I'd expect that Aveline would end up a better person, and would be not just the rightful monarch but a nice one too.

All of this is very vague, but it says quickly what the plot is, what sort of things will happen, the main character's arc etc. More detail can go into the synopsis. I'd try to limit it to 3 or 4 names, preferably easy ones to read. I also wouldn't use the word "steampunk" as it's a bit unfashionable now, but "Victorian" or "deco-styled" or something like that would help - although the airships probably give this away as it is.

I would also try to find a way to play up what is unique about your story or what would attract readers most. For me, it would be the idea that this is a world in which airships and eagle-riders occupy the skies, plus the plucky young heroine (but in what way is she different from other plucky young bereaved heroines who are targets of palace intrigue?)

I completely agree with this. It would be nice if she had a special bond to a bird or the like, or was particularly skilled with airships.

 

[Culhwch]

I don't know where you're submitting this and whether there is a particular set way of doing it there - but I get the feeling that the rules are broadly similar everywhere. As ever, always follow the guidelines they give.

Are you also submitting a synopsis as well (which would be normal)? If so, I don't think you need to give so much detail about what happens in the story.

Intending to submit to agents, predominantly from the US, so I'm trying to follow what seems to be the fairly standard format for that. And yes, most ask for a synopsis and the first chapter or three, so you are right - I don't need as much detail.

I'm also fairly realistic with my expectations, so I won't be waiting on the clamouring response of multiple agents. But if nothing else it's been a good process to go through to think about the novel and what might not be working as it stands.

To reduce it to its bare bones: Aveline is orphaned and next in line to the throne, but Konstantin wants to take it from her. She flees and gathers allies to take it back. That's fine but a bit generic. Aveline and Konstantin sound like a plucky YA heroine and a scheming grand vizier. So I'd add something about the setting. My mind hopes that she has to flee quickly when Konstantin launches a coup, or that it turns out he killed her parents.

So maybe something like "Princess Aveline is the heir to the throne of Voronovia [or just "a vast empire"], where towering cities are linked by airships and giant birds [this setting bit, particularly the birds, feels especially interesting]. When Archduke Konstantin launches a coup [or whatever], Aveline is forced to flee in disguise. She gathers a rag-tag band of allies, but must struggle to hold their group together."

This might also be a good point to mention any romantic interest, but it needs to be more than just saying that she fancies someone. "Her attraction to the republican soldier Conrad threatens to fracture the alliance etc". At this point (and this is just me) I would like to see some hint of how the adventure affects Aveline herself. "Aveline learns that there is more to leading than her position of birth" or the like. If I read a story like this, I'd expect that Aveline would end up a better person, and would be not just the rightful monarch but a nice one too.

All of this is very vague, but it says quickly what the plot is, what sort of things will happen, the main character's arc etc. More detail can go into the synopsis. I'd try to limit it to 3 or 4 names, preferably easy ones to read. I also wouldn't use the word "steampunk" as it's a bit unfashionable now, but "Victorian" or "deco-styled" or something like that would help - although the airships probably give this away as it is.

Cheers for this feedback! All good advice, and a lot of it is in line with the changes I've already been trying to make (which is reassuring!).

I completely agree with this. It would be nice if she had a special bond to a bird or the like, or was particularly skilled with airships.

Not exactly either of those things, but hopefully she still has some unique qualities that resonate with the reader.

I've pared it down even more, hopefully tighter but more enticing:

Dear ____,

When sixteen-year-old Aveline’s parents are assassinated, she's left devastated, alone—and the rightful queen of Voronova. Before she’s even had time to grieve she discovers her father’s trusted advisor, Konstantin, has designs on her throne and plans for a war her father never wanted. Fearing imprisonment, she flees the palace.

When her airship is infiltrated by Kohl, a goshawk-riding corporal from the neighbouring Free Cities, Aveline can’t help but be impressed by the young scout’s daring, and enamoured with his avian mount. After learning of Aveline’s loss, the sympathetic Kohl helps her slip over the border. As they travel together, their bond deepens.

If she is to reclaim her throne, Aveline will need more allies. Her maternal uncle, Prince Iskander, commands the martial power she needs to challenge Konstantin. The only problem—she barely knows the man, and his kingdom lies on the far side of Voronova besides. Even if she reaches Iskander and enlists his help, leading an army into Voronova would betray her father’s ideals—but may be the only way to preserve them.

Mounted on giant birds of prey, Aveline and Kohl take flight on a journey across an empire she once called home, but is now enemy territory.

RAVEN QUEEN’S FLIGHT is a standalone YA fantasy adventure novel, complete at 104 000 words. Given your interest in [genre/agent specific callouts], I believe it would be a good fit for your list. [sentence about comps]

[bio]

Thank you for your consideration. Regardless of the outcome, I appreciate the time you have taken to read through my submission.

Kind regards,