Specific

[Timben]

Do I need to be specific on Doc Barry's operation?

Challi didn’t care for Milo neither did Dusty. Milo turned and walked away. Eventually, they came to the medical office. Under the plaque, it read John Barry, M. D.

“I suppose I ought to knock,” said Odin.

Odin knocked hard on the door. John heard the knock from within and waddled on over to the front door. John Barry, a grizzled man with wise eyes and steady hands, was already preparing his instruments when they burst through the door. He barely raised an eyebrow at their unexpected entrance. "I see you've brought me a patient. Lay him down," he instructed, his voice calm and authoritative. Challi assisted as Odin carefully placed Jolly on the examination table. The doctor wasted no time, his fingers deftly assessing the wound, ready to mend what had been broken. The world outside faded away as the procedure began, hope threading its way into Jolly’s heart.

As Doc Barry worked, Odin and Challi stood vigil, the weight of their journey evident in their tired expressions. They had faced danger and fought through chaos, and now, they were on the cusp of victory. The bullet would be removed, and life would continue—at least for Jolly. At that moment, the saloon was not just a place of revelry; it was a sanctuary where lives were saved, and friendships were forged in the face of adversity, and not a bad place to get a drink.

 

[Christine Wheelwright]

I think your prose is improving (based on some earlier writing you submitted for critque). Well structured sentences.

There are a couple of continuity errors. The doctor waddles over to the door in reply to the knock. But then, when they burst through, he is preparing his instruments.

Also, they find him in his medical office but somehow he ends up doing the surgery in the saloon.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I second Christine - your writing is definitely improving I didn’t need more detail on the op

 

[Karapace]

Very good prose. I particularly like the end bit "the bullet would be removed and life would continue - at least for Jolly"
I agree with Christine, a couple of continuity errors also I would cut out the bit about John hearing the knock and opening the door, It felt like it switched viewpoints. I would just have him opening the door and saying "I see you brought me a patient." He could be preparing his instruments while the others put Jolly on the table.