Adding dialog... is necessary.

[Timben]

Wanted to know if adding "just" to a lot of the dialog is necessary.


With a resigned sigh, the bartender retrieved another bottle, this one glistening under the dim coal oil lamp. As he handed it over, he muttered, “Just don’t hit me again.” Odin smirked, the tension easing just a fraction. “I might just let you live,” he replied, taking the bottles in one hand and tossing a few coins onto the counter with the other. The bartender watched a mixture of relief and dread swirling within him, as Odin and Challi sauntered away, a king surveying his domain, leaving chaos in his wake. Dusty jumped down onto the sawdust floor and followed them out.

 

[Pyan]

I think the two "just"s are fine and unforced here - the first one sounds perfectly natural (especially if he's been hit before) and the second is a pick-up and emphasis by Odin on what the bartender says. Take them out and the tone of the conversation changes and becomes much more serious:

As he handed it over, he muttered, “Don’t hit me again.” Odin smirked, the tension easing just a fraction. “I might let you live,” he replied...

Not really necessary, but it reads smoothly, IMHO.

 

[THX1138]

Would leave one "just" in and take the other two out:

As he handed it over, he muttered, “Don’t hit me again.” Odin smirked, the tension easing a fraction. “I just might let you live,” he replied, taking the bottles in one hand and tossing a few coins onto the counter with the other.

OR

As he handed it over, he muttered, “Just don’t hit me again.” Odin smirked, easing the tension a bit. “I might let you live the next time,” he replied, taking the bottles in one hand and tossing a few coins onto the counter with the other.

Or some other combination that works.

 

[Swank]

I like the "Just don't" and the "I might just..." reply. It is like the response of a Bogart film noir detective.

But the non-dialog just confuses that, so it ought to go.

 

[The Big Peat]

Thumbs up on the dialogue.

I would suggest removing "the tension easing just a fraction." altogether - let the reader decide for themselves if that's happening

 

[Karapace]

Wanted to know if adding "just" to a lot of the dialog is necessary.


With a resigned sigh, the bartender retrieved another bottle, this one glistening under the dim coal oil lamp. As he handed it over, he muttered, “Just don’t hit me again.” Odin smirked, the tension easing just a fraction. “I might just let you live,”

for me I think it needs a little more. The tension easing can go I feel but the "Just don't hit me" seems to hang as does the "I might just let you live" in the context given.
perhaps... With a resigned sigh, the bartender retrieved another bottle, this one glistening under the dim coal oil lamp. "Here, just don't hit me again."
Odin smirked as he took it. "Now I might just let you live."

 

[paranoid marvin]

Personally, I would leave Odin smiling, but remaining silent. Why not let him and the reader wonder whether he will be allowed to live? Also, unless the bottles are small or he has big hands (or he's going to pick them up with his fingers 'Warriors' style) he's going to struggle picking them up with one hand.

Handing it over, he muttered, "Just don't hit me again." In reply Odin smirked, tossing a few coins across the bar before taking the bottles and walking out.

 

[Astro Pen]

"a fraction" is already 'just'. So it is redundant adding it in this particular line.