Gothic horror snippet

[yorelm]

Okay guys, last post till next year. Promise!
Sometimes I want a break between drafts, and will work on a different in-progress story. Just so I can come back fresher and more objective.
This alternate story is sort of a Western gothic. The protags are a ranch hand and an older woman, and their relationship is a platonic, mother/son type.
What I would like to know is if you can sense that from this short passage, or does it sound too "romantic?":

Bess sat in a back-tilted rocker, one leg crossed over the other, reading from a worn book. Just like her to be calm in a peculiar situation. Bred in her bones. She was fifty-ish, some twenty years older than me, but kept herself in damn fine shape. A woman who could dig in the dirt all day, pullin' up weeds, but still carry herself like a lady. Her boots and dress looked clean. Seemed the prisoners were allowed to wash.

She lept from her seat, letting the book fall to the floor. "Jon! How did you get here?"

I reached to scoop her up in one of my bear hugs. That’s what she called 'em—squeezin' hugs, but not too tight, that always made her laugh. But not this time. Her arms wrapped around me, strong despite her size, and she patted my back twice, like she always did. She smelled like sandalwood soap.

I started to smile, glad she was okay, but it didn't feel right under the circumstances. "Followed the horse."

Bess let me go and stepped back. I wanted her hold a few seconds longer, just to know she was safe. She looked down at the carpet, one with those foreign designs with flow'ry swirls, and lowered her voice. "Just like Sissy. Poor girl. Food for those...things."

The venom in her last word wasn’t like her. The hate in it didn’t sit right. And food? For those things out by the door? For something worse?

 

[Yozh]

If you don't intend this to be a romantic or sexual, then maybe less physical description of the woman? If male protag thinks of her as a mother figure, then he probably would not think of her as being in "damn fine shape," even if she is. How about describing her as "strong as a mule" or some non-sexualized description of physical fitness?

 

[yorelm]

Good observation. Maybe "damn good shape?" Their relationship is clear after another paragraph or two that follows, but this is Bess' first introduction, so I didn't want to cross motherly with romantic before it's known. I just wanted to show a bond first. And I didn't want to just come right out and say it (as it's clearly shown after this). Thank you.

 

[Swank]

I don't think someone in that time would think about people keeping in shape. It was just a fact of life that people were active and not heavy unless they were wealthy enough to sit around eating. Strong, spry, youthful, carried themselves upright, etc. Not the product of the Jane Fonda workout.

 

[yorelm]

I don't think someone in that time would think about people keeping in shape. It was just a fact of life that people were active and not heavy unless they were wealthy enough to sit around eating. Strong, spry, youthful, carried themselves upright, etc. Not the product of the Jane Fonda workout.

Good points.

 

[yorelm]

Good points. That's since been revised to "She was hearty and hale."