Does Anyone Write Screenplays?
- Thread starter RobGrant
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Marky Lazer
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2005
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I once had a go, but it turned out pretty bad. Sorry, I can't help you out.
Culhwch
Lost Boy
I've dabbled in screenplays. Actually have one on the boil (well, off and on) at the moment, so I would be keen to participate in some discussion. The main issue I have is in conveying info in dialogue in a way that isn't to heavy and unnatural.
In a slightly related issue (I should start another thread, I know, but...) does anyone have any experience writing comic book scripts? Are they similar to film scripts in that you describe action and give dialogue, or is it more a frame-by-frame composition thing?
In a slightly related issue (I should start another thread, I know, but...) does anyone have any experience writing comic book scripts? Are they similar to film scripts in that you describe action and give dialogue, or is it more a frame-by-frame composition thing?
direghost
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2006
- Messages
- 88
I've also written some comic book scripts. It really depends on the artist you're writing them for. I wrote mine more like a frame-by-frame, but a knowledge and experience with film scripts definitely helps to think visually, in my opinion.
Niel Gaiman provided samples of one of his scripts in one of his books and it's well worth having a look at.
Niel Gaiman provided samples of one of his scripts in one of his books and it's well worth having a look at.
direghost
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2006
- Messages
- 88
Ah hell. Before Hollywood got their meathooks into it, I wrote my own version of a Trojan War script. Here's a bit of it, if anyone is interested. I just and cut and pasted so it might look a little funny.
THE SIEGE OF TROY
FADE IN:
INT. SPARTA – NIGHT
It is dark. The only sound is of booted feet upon stone. From far away, down the corridor, dim light glows.
The boots begin to move more quickly. As they approach, it becomes clear that the light emanates from a chamber with a half-closed door.
The booted feet slow to a stop. Only one pair, silent as possible, continues the approach. The door swings open, creaking lightly.
The boots step softly into the light and we see for the first time the man to whom they belong.
PARIS is a small, handsome man, cloaked in shadowy darkness.
INT. HELEN’s CHAMBER – SAME
The chamber is small, mostly filled with a bed. Upon the bed lies the loveliest of creatures, HELEN. She is so beautiful that it hurts, almost, to behold her.
Paris approaches her. She hears something and looks up, smiling as if expecting someone.
INT. HALL - SAME
Paris emerges, carrying Helen. His hand is over her mouth. She is struggling but does not harm her captor. Two Trojans, AENAS and PANDARUS, await him in the dark.
AENAS
We have been here too long already. Menalaus will not remain occupied all night.
Helen emerges into the light. Her beauty is magnificent. Aenas and Pandarus stop and stare in wonder.
PANDARUS
She really is….
PARIS
Yes. Now we have to get back the ship.
AENAS
Once we reach Troy, nothing can harm us.
They begin to run down the dark hall. They pass by a WINDOW and see that it is raining outside, complete with thunder and lightning.
AENAS
The storm is getting worse!
PARIS
Let it! We have no fear of Poseidon’s wrath tonight, Aenas.
Shouts sound throughout the hall. Paris stops.
AENAS
We have to get out of here.
PANDARUS
He is correct, Prince Paris—
PARIS
Shhh.
They listen. And hear the sound of many men moving in haste directly in front of them.
Paris looks around. Smooth walls: no escape.
PARIS
This way!
He springs forward, seemingly unencumbered by Helen’s weight.
Aenas and Pandarus exchange a look and follow.
There is a bend in the tunnel and the approaching men are now close enough that their conversations can be heard.
SPARTAN CAPTAIN (OS)
The King wants us to look in on Helen’s chambers. He thinks the Trojans are up to some mischief.
The light of their torch is now visible around the bend. The Trojans look about desperately, seeking escape.
The first of the SPARTANS are around the bend. Lightning flashes, revealing a small door that had been hidden by the darkness.
PARIS
In there!
Pandarus leaps to the door and wrenches it open. The three Trojans complete with Helen jump in.
INT. CLOSET – SAME
Aenas pulls the door shut just as the SPARTANS pass by. There is not enough room for all four; they are bowed to shoulder level and crammed into one another.
INT. HALL – SAME
Most of the guards have passed. The last two are now directly in front of the door.
SPARTAN GUARD
I am tired of looking after the King’s wife. If it is not the Trojans, it is the Cretans or the Athenians or I suppose the Atlanteans.
SPARTAN GUARD TWO
You are lucky no one else heard that.
INT. CLOSET – SAME
Paris grins at Aenas triumphantly. As he does so, Helen looses her hand and with it grabs Paris’ hand.
Before he can react, she moves his hand into her mouth and bites down. Hard.
Paris lets go and barely stifles his howl of pain. Helen does not, and yells at the top of her lungs.
INT. HALL – SAME
The very beginning of Helen’s cry is heard, but then is drowned out by a peal of thunder.
SPARTAN GUARD
Did you hear that?
SPARTAN GUARD TWO
Hear what? The thunder? It happens in a thunderstorm. Come on, let us hurry and get a glimpse of Helen before it gets too late.
The guards scurry down the hall and out of sight. The door opens tentatively and then all four of the small chamber’s occupants spill into the hallway.
They hurry down the hallway, go around the bend and can see their exit. At the beginning of the hall, two SPARTANS armed with spears bar the door.
Aenas draws his sword. It shimmers in the darkness.
He charges the SPARTAN GUARDS. They whip their spears into action. Aenas twists between the outstretched weapons.
Both guards fall dead.
PARIS
I am glad I brought you along, brother.
The Trojans hasten through the door.
EXT. SPARTAN BEACH – LATER
The ocean shore. It is raining, but, behind the clouds the sun is rising, filling the shore with wan light. The thunder and lightning have ceased.
MENALAUS, a young, likeable man, runs down to the beach in his nightclothes.
Three WARRIORS follow him, one carrying a torch that flickers in the WIND and RAIN.
They see PARIS’s SHIP. It has just docked and is beginning to sail away. Menalaus grabs a SPEAR and casts it after the ship. It falls far short.
MENALAUS
Bring me all my ships. I want her back.
CAPTAIN
In this storm? Do not be irrational, my King. These Trojan Dogs will be dashed to bits on the reef.
MENALAUS
Then what of Helen?
The WIND grows even stronger. The ship founders and is almost capsized by large, choppy waves. Suddenly the ship seems wrapped by a glowing, slightly hazy nimbus.
Menalaus and his men look on in amazement as the Trojans, going against wind, tide, and storm, sail away faster than mortally possible.
Menalaus watches the escape, gripped by grief and anger.
MENALAUS
No mortal could survive such a storm. Clearly the gods have played a part in this treachery. Oh, Helen.
EXT. SANDY BEACH – DAY - LATER
A golden-haired youth of fifteen years is swimming in the ocean. He is very attractive, although rather feminine. He is tall, lean, indolent, and ill tempered. His name is Achilles.
Two youths, PATROCLUS and ODEDES, sneak onto the beach unnoticed by Achilles. They approach his piled belongings and select an ornate ARMBAND.
PATROCLUS
You shall see. No one is as fast as Achilles.
[FONT="]ODEDES[/FONT]
You have clearly never been to Argos then. Diomedes is the greatest hero in the world.
PATROCLUS
Diomedes? Is he half god? Just watch.
ODEDES
I will wager you my ring he cannot do it.
PATROCLUS
Hey cousin!
Achilles, perhaps fifty feet away, surfaces and notices them.
PATROLUS
Try to catch this!
He hefts the armband and throws it as far as he can, far off to the left of Achilles.
As the armband soars through the air, sunlight glitters off the jewels.
It begins to drop.
Achilles watches the prank with an unreadable expression.
He suddenly blurs into motion, swimming so fast that he cannot be seen and his passage is marked by a WIND TUNNEL in the sea.
The armband descends and is caught by Achilles, who has arrived just in time. He swims, more leisurely, towards his companions.
PATROCLUS
(to his companion)
I told you so. He is even faster on land.
[FONT="]ODEDES[/FONT]
I do not … believe it.
Achilles reaches the shore. As he joins his companions on land, the sea begins to bubble and boil. A form rises from the sea. Patroclus’ companion turns in terror and flees up the beach.
A beautiful woman emerges from the sea, remaining the softly lapping surf. She is THETIS, the nymph, mother of Achilles.
ACHILLES
Greetings, mother! How are the fishes?
THETIS
Ever where you rash, my son. A mistake I blame on your father. While you play here, great events are happening throughout Greece. Paris, a prince of the Trojans, has stolen Menalaus’s bride, and taken her back to Troy.
ACHILLES
This is old news even here in Thessaly, mother. What care I about Helen the slattern?
THETIS
Cease your insolence, Achilles. These things will change the world, but for you in particular they are important.
ACHILLES
And why, mother, is that?
THETIS
When Helen’s father announced he was to give her away in marriage, so many suitors came that he made them swear to support whomever Helen married. He chose a handsome young man named Menalaus, and all the kings of Greece swore to uphold his marriage.
ACHILLES
Yes? I did not swear. I was far away, under the tutelage of your centaur friend.
(to Patroclus)
I do not think they needed the oath of a baby.
THETIS
Cheiron is a good man, one that did not deserve your treatment of him. Menalaus will get Helen back, and to make matters worse his brother is Agamemnon, the greatest king who has ever lived. He will gather an army the like of which this world has not seen. The greatest heroes of the land will flock to his banner.
ACHILLES
The greatest heroes? I should be there among them.
THETIS
No you should not. If you go, you will achieve fame as the greatest champion of all. Greeks and Trojans will look up to you as the greatest hero this world has ever seen even counting Gilgamesh. None will withstand your might.
ACHILLES
Truly? Then I am anxious to leave. I must make preparations—
THETIS
No, you must not go. For if you sail to far Troy, you will never return. The fates have decreed it so. Your fame will last long, but your life will not. If you stay here, fame will not be yours but you will live a long, happy life.
ACHILLES
Such a choice … to be able to decide one’s destiny.
PATROCLUS
I am neither as fast, nor as strong as you Achilles. But I think that fame is something that will last forever. Your life, no matter how happy, will not.
ACHILLES
A chance for a long, happy life….
THETIS
Achilles. I allow you your games, but you must promise me this.
Achilles approaches her.
THE SIEGE OF TROY
FADE IN:
INT. SPARTA – NIGHT
It is dark. The only sound is of booted feet upon stone. From far away, down the corridor, dim light glows.
The boots begin to move more quickly. As they approach, it becomes clear that the light emanates from a chamber with a half-closed door.
The booted feet slow to a stop. Only one pair, silent as possible, continues the approach. The door swings open, creaking lightly.
The boots step softly into the light and we see for the first time the man to whom they belong.
PARIS is a small, handsome man, cloaked in shadowy darkness.
INT. HELEN’s CHAMBER – SAME
The chamber is small, mostly filled with a bed. Upon the bed lies the loveliest of creatures, HELEN. She is so beautiful that it hurts, almost, to behold her.
Paris approaches her. She hears something and looks up, smiling as if expecting someone.
INT. HALL - SAME
Paris emerges, carrying Helen. His hand is over her mouth. She is struggling but does not harm her captor. Two Trojans, AENAS and PANDARUS, await him in the dark.
AENAS
We have been here too long already. Menalaus will not remain occupied all night.
Helen emerges into the light. Her beauty is magnificent. Aenas and Pandarus stop and stare in wonder.
PANDARUS
She really is….
PARIS
Yes. Now we have to get back the ship.
AENAS
Once we reach Troy, nothing can harm us.
They begin to run down the dark hall. They pass by a WINDOW and see that it is raining outside, complete with thunder and lightning.
AENAS
The storm is getting worse!
PARIS
Let it! We have no fear of Poseidon’s wrath tonight, Aenas.
Shouts sound throughout the hall. Paris stops.
AENAS
We have to get out of here.
PANDARUS
He is correct, Prince Paris—
PARIS
Shhh.
They listen. And hear the sound of many men moving in haste directly in front of them.
Paris looks around. Smooth walls: no escape.
PARIS
This way!
He springs forward, seemingly unencumbered by Helen’s weight.
Aenas and Pandarus exchange a look and follow.
There is a bend in the tunnel and the approaching men are now close enough that their conversations can be heard.
SPARTAN CAPTAIN (OS)
The King wants us to look in on Helen’s chambers. He thinks the Trojans are up to some mischief.
The light of their torch is now visible around the bend. The Trojans look about desperately, seeking escape.
The first of the SPARTANS are around the bend. Lightning flashes, revealing a small door that had been hidden by the darkness.
PARIS
In there!
Pandarus leaps to the door and wrenches it open. The three Trojans complete with Helen jump in.
INT. CLOSET – SAME
Aenas pulls the door shut just as the SPARTANS pass by. There is not enough room for all four; they are bowed to shoulder level and crammed into one another.
INT. HALL – SAME
Most of the guards have passed. The last two are now directly in front of the door.
SPARTAN GUARD
I am tired of looking after the King’s wife. If it is not the Trojans, it is the Cretans or the Athenians or I suppose the Atlanteans.
SPARTAN GUARD TWO
You are lucky no one else heard that.
INT. CLOSET – SAME
Paris grins at Aenas triumphantly. As he does so, Helen looses her hand and with it grabs Paris’ hand.
Before he can react, she moves his hand into her mouth and bites down. Hard.
Paris lets go and barely stifles his howl of pain. Helen does not, and yells at the top of her lungs.
INT. HALL – SAME
The very beginning of Helen’s cry is heard, but then is drowned out by a peal of thunder.
SPARTAN GUARD
Did you hear that?
SPARTAN GUARD TWO
Hear what? The thunder? It happens in a thunderstorm. Come on, let us hurry and get a glimpse of Helen before it gets too late.
The guards scurry down the hall and out of sight. The door opens tentatively and then all four of the small chamber’s occupants spill into the hallway.
They hurry down the hallway, go around the bend and can see their exit. At the beginning of the hall, two SPARTANS armed with spears bar the door.
Aenas draws his sword. It shimmers in the darkness.
He charges the SPARTAN GUARDS. They whip their spears into action. Aenas twists between the outstretched weapons.
Both guards fall dead.
PARIS
I am glad I brought you along, brother.
The Trojans hasten through the door.
EXT. SPARTAN BEACH – LATER
The ocean shore. It is raining, but, behind the clouds the sun is rising, filling the shore with wan light. The thunder and lightning have ceased.
MENALAUS, a young, likeable man, runs down to the beach in his nightclothes.
Three WARRIORS follow him, one carrying a torch that flickers in the WIND and RAIN.
They see PARIS’s SHIP. It has just docked and is beginning to sail away. Menalaus grabs a SPEAR and casts it after the ship. It falls far short.
MENALAUS
Bring me all my ships. I want her back.
CAPTAIN
In this storm? Do not be irrational, my King. These Trojan Dogs will be dashed to bits on the reef.
MENALAUS
Then what of Helen?
The WIND grows even stronger. The ship founders and is almost capsized by large, choppy waves. Suddenly the ship seems wrapped by a glowing, slightly hazy nimbus.
Menalaus and his men look on in amazement as the Trojans, going against wind, tide, and storm, sail away faster than mortally possible.
Menalaus watches the escape, gripped by grief and anger.
MENALAUS
No mortal could survive such a storm. Clearly the gods have played a part in this treachery. Oh, Helen.
EXT. SANDY BEACH – DAY - LATER
A golden-haired youth of fifteen years is swimming in the ocean. He is very attractive, although rather feminine. He is tall, lean, indolent, and ill tempered. His name is Achilles.
Two youths, PATROCLUS and ODEDES, sneak onto the beach unnoticed by Achilles. They approach his piled belongings and select an ornate ARMBAND.
PATROCLUS
You shall see. No one is as fast as Achilles.
[FONT="]ODEDES[/FONT]
You have clearly never been to Argos then. Diomedes is the greatest hero in the world.
PATROCLUS
Diomedes? Is he half god? Just watch.
ODEDES
I will wager you my ring he cannot do it.
PATROCLUS
Hey cousin!
Achilles, perhaps fifty feet away, surfaces and notices them.
PATROLUS
Try to catch this!
He hefts the armband and throws it as far as he can, far off to the left of Achilles.
As the armband soars through the air, sunlight glitters off the jewels.
It begins to drop.
Achilles watches the prank with an unreadable expression.
He suddenly blurs into motion, swimming so fast that he cannot be seen and his passage is marked by a WIND TUNNEL in the sea.
The armband descends and is caught by Achilles, who has arrived just in time. He swims, more leisurely, towards his companions.
PATROCLUS
(to his companion)
I told you so. He is even faster on land.
[FONT="]ODEDES[/FONT]
I do not … believe it.
Achilles reaches the shore. As he joins his companions on land, the sea begins to bubble and boil. A form rises from the sea. Patroclus’ companion turns in terror and flees up the beach.
A beautiful woman emerges from the sea, remaining the softly lapping surf. She is THETIS, the nymph, mother of Achilles.
ACHILLES
Greetings, mother! How are the fishes?
THETIS
Ever where you rash, my son. A mistake I blame on your father. While you play here, great events are happening throughout Greece. Paris, a prince of the Trojans, has stolen Menalaus’s bride, and taken her back to Troy.
ACHILLES
This is old news even here in Thessaly, mother. What care I about Helen the slattern?
THETIS
Cease your insolence, Achilles. These things will change the world, but for you in particular they are important.
ACHILLES
And why, mother, is that?
THETIS
When Helen’s father announced he was to give her away in marriage, so many suitors came that he made them swear to support whomever Helen married. He chose a handsome young man named Menalaus, and all the kings of Greece swore to uphold his marriage.
ACHILLES
Yes? I did not swear. I was far away, under the tutelage of your centaur friend.
(to Patroclus)
I do not think they needed the oath of a baby.
THETIS
Cheiron is a good man, one that did not deserve your treatment of him. Menalaus will get Helen back, and to make matters worse his brother is Agamemnon, the greatest king who has ever lived. He will gather an army the like of which this world has not seen. The greatest heroes of the land will flock to his banner.
ACHILLES
The greatest heroes? I should be there among them.
THETIS
No you should not. If you go, you will achieve fame as the greatest champion of all. Greeks and Trojans will look up to you as the greatest hero this world has ever seen even counting Gilgamesh. None will withstand your might.
ACHILLES
Truly? Then I am anxious to leave. I must make preparations—
THETIS
No, you must not go. For if you sail to far Troy, you will never return. The fates have decreed it so. Your fame will last long, but your life will not. If you stay here, fame will not be yours but you will live a long, happy life.
ACHILLES
Such a choice … to be able to decide one’s destiny.
PATROCLUS
I am neither as fast, nor as strong as you Achilles. But I think that fame is something that will last forever. Your life, no matter how happy, will not.
ACHILLES
A chance for a long, happy life….
THETIS
Achilles. I allow you your games, but you must promise me this.
Achilles approaches her.
Azathoth
Warning - Contagious!
I'd love to be a screenwriter, but I don't know a thing about the market.
Valentine
The Warden
I write Screenplays. Focusing on shorts at the moment, but I think one of them has potential for a feature length, so I might take it all the way.
Wow, it's amazing to hear that so many people either have or are interested in screenplays. I know a fair bit about the craft of writing them and I've directed a couple of short films but this year I've decided that by hook or by crook I will have written a feature length screenplay by the end of the year.
Anyone got any pet projects, ideas to discuss or favourite books they would love to see made into a film. For my part I'd love to see David Gemmell's 'Legend' made into a movie.
Any thoughts?
Anyone got any pet projects, ideas to discuss or favourite books they would love to see made into a film. For my part I'd love to see David Gemmell's 'Legend' made into a movie.
Any thoughts?
Legend would make a good film. 
How about format issues for screenplay writing? I once dabbled in short film writing, but found the format a little strange to work with. It may be interesting to work on formating and presentation issues in this thread.
How about format issues for screenplay writing? I once dabbled in short film writing, but found the format a little strange to work with. It may be interesting to work on formating and presentation issues in this thread.
Culhwch
Lost Boy
I don't find the format much of an issue. I did a couple of screenwriting subjects at uni, so I'm well-versed in the technical aspects. I also find writing direction for screenplays a lot easier than writing discriptive prose in novels and short storys. My dialogue, sadly, bites in both styles....
HieroGlyph
70% water...
lol : Its almost as if you are telling us you're Gemmel in disguisejenna said:
.I don't write anything: screenplay, story, novel... Just scribbles, notes, diary nonsense. (So what am I doing here?) I would 'love' to do some storyboarding though! I just havent tried. Guess you need overweening confidence for such a thing, but truth is theres been so much junk and rubish passed before my eyes in all these years, I really wish I could show 'them' I can do what I think! That I could do better
. (Prove it!!!)And, Cilhwch, what is the 'problem' with your dialogue?
Culhwch
Lost Boy
HieroGlyph said:
Well, to me it never sounds authentic. Stilted and forced, yes. Natural and smooth, no.
HieroGlyph
70% water...
Culhwch said:
If you're as critical of self as I am...
Maybe we'd need examples. And to us it wouldnt be as it appeared to you!
After all, isn't 'this place' for such feedback?
I agree, we should see samples, I for one would love the opportunity of seeing other peoples works-in-progress.
And anyone who has formatting or layout issues should get the free templates from bbc dot co dot uk slash writersroom slash scriptsmart
And anyone who has formatting or layout issues should get the free templates from bbc dot co dot uk slash writersroom slash scriptsmart
Culhwch
Lost Boy
HieroGlyph said:
Well, there is examples of my prose in the critique section. I'll see what I can come up with in the way of screeplays....
Green Knight
He hath an axe to grynde
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2006
- Messages
- 53
I once had a go at writing a screenplay based on part of The Silmarillion. It was during my 'insanely ambitious' phase. I adapted the Beren & Luthien story and some bits, interestingly, weren't a million miles from the way Aragorn and Arwen ended up being treated in LOTR.
I did sort of finish it and I even sent it to Peter Jackson (this was around the time Fellowship of the Ring came out). I got a nice rejection letter on LOTR headed notepaper for my trouble.
It's still out there on the net somewhere, if any Silmarillion fans feel the urge to hunt it down. It was fun to do
I did sort of finish it and I even sent it to Peter Jackson (this was around the time Fellowship of the Ring came out). I got a nice rejection letter on LOTR headed notepaper for my trouble.
It's still out there on the net somewhere, if any Silmarillion fans feel the urge to hunt it down. It was fun to do
orionsixwings
Demosthenes
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2005
- Messages
- 278
I've submitted a few scripts to a local TV station - they like the idea --- I don't like their price.
Susan Boulton
The storyteller
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2006
- Messages
- 2,039
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