the difference between coincedence and fate

[Paradox 99]

Ah, at last I can use my favourite word again.

"pareidolia" - "Pareidolia is a type of illusion or misperception involving a vague or obscure stimulus being perceived as something clear and distinct."

I think our idea of fate and coincidence could be linked to that...

There's an evolutionary reason why humans see repeated events as fate - it's a form of pattern recognition. As faery queen has mentioned - when something keeps happening, you tend to have the feeling that some kind of high power is involved guiding events before us.

One of our abilities that enables us to "survive" is that we are able to predict something that might happen next and avoid it if it's possibly harmful or encourage it if it is helpful.

We can predict things because we are able to recognise patterns in events. Our brains have a natural tendency to filter out things that aren't important (that's why we have short term memories). If we see something we believe is significant, we remember it, and if it fits into a previous event we start to see a pattern developing. Unconciously, one starts to actually look for another occurence of something similar.

That's one idea on why we see things as fated anyway, if you caught my drift. I could give a few examples, but have to rush off now.

 

[Princess Ivy]

using either in a story can be just a bit pretentious and overdone unless handled very carefully
2c

 

[An8el]

OK, our motive was character building, right?

The assumptions of cause and effect have some crucial factors that would change "luck" and create "coincidence." What most people regard as "bad luck" in a brand of fate can be a functional superstition - which is sort of a pre-conclusion with a mystery means or function that self-selects to reinforce it's proof.

I've noticed that superstition is a sort of associative self-training process, where the person can't imagine how they caused the effect. So they just remember that when they did THIS, something else happened that they wanted, etc. Just try to walk by a trash can and not look in when yesterday you found money in it serendipidously.

In a social arena, the mystery means can be a cluelessness about what a person could possibly be doing that encourages others to treat them in a certain way. It's a disconnect between personal intent and how social events tend to continue once they are put into motion.
A social example of holding an unconsciously pained expression on your face will encourage manipluators to zero in on you. This may give you a belief that you have a fateful tendency to pick the wrong people to befriend who fatefully later turn out to be nasty.
Or, perhaps your desire to be attracted to people who "like to play the edge" or "enjoy fun" leads you astray without you realizing it, making it easier for you to impulsively go along with a bad idea because you have agreement. (One of the proven social factors is that a group can make a much worse drastic mistake than less people alone.)
This disconnect can also occur compared to the way the world works - Nature doesn't care about you personally, and can kill you just the same if you're in the wrong place trying to play with it.

My other observation is about coincidence and recognizing opportunity. If someone has a schedule, they are less likely to notice unusual events that could be opportunties...because they can't deviate from their plans to check out these coincidental opportunities anyway.

That's why so many characters are young and they have adventures; because once you open up, it leaves room for unexpected things to happen. Possibilities for coincidental connections exist out in the world all the time, and most people walk blithely by them and never notice. Older people can't recognize as many spontaneously changing patterns because they've trained themselves to adapt and usually don't know how to undo these adaptations. So it usually takes time and significant personal insight to undo adapted limitations and find the ways you're contributing to them that you're unaware of. For me, believability in characters comes from watching this process during the story.

I've found that by sharpening my attention and asking good virtual questions, I can open up a specific, desired opportunity for myself much quicker than most people. This makes me seem wildly resourceful, but it is what anyone can emulate by example. It's amazing to ask yourself whenever you have a moment to talk to a stranger, "How can I find what we might have to offer each other in the time we have now?" Essentially, you make yourself ready and available for recognizing opportunity. If you don't recognize "a diamond in the rough" for what it could be, then it can never begin to be it's potential. You have to notice a "turn of fate" is happening long enough to grab it out of the mud and clean it off and use it.

The thing about evoking pattern recognition is to do some strategic thinking beforehand. What this thinking is or if it gets done is so often determined by motivation, so it's good to know your (character's) criteria.

Obviously, desire needs to be coupled with awareness so you can have a desireable opportunity. If you are asking the related and pertinent questions for yourself and tell others about what you're looking for, you're more likely to be able to recognize "fateful signs" when they pop out in front of you. If you don't, they won't happen. So - by putting yourself into a "flux" situation, (such as hitchiking, traveling, & the other environments where the wild card opportunities are,) you make it more likely that the opportunity you want can happen.

My point is that what conclusion someone comes to about their fate or coincidence is determined partly by motives, (the why) and also by how and when they are motivated to come to a conclusion.

Don't forget the factor of the different ways that someone can culturally interpret meaning and come to a conclusion for themselves. For instance, when a person is in a bad way, they are more likely to feel cursed rather than after enough sleep, food, etc. It's often better to decide that the process isn't done yet and this is not the time to come to a conclusion - or to make a sort of working conclusion.

All from my vast observations of life.

 

[Dirkin]

Hi everyone. I googled the word 'coincedence' and randomly came across this forum. when I read what you have been saying I decided to join, because I have been on and off obsessed with life's little coincedences, and how often they happen to me. I have always thought that these sort of things happen to everyone, and maybe I'm just paying more attention to it, but they happen a lot. Have you ever had three unrelated people say the same thing to you? Anyway I've started a blog recently with the intention, among other things, to document all the coincedences that happen to me the day that they happen. The idea is that if they happen as frequently as I believe they do, then I will have a list grow very quickly, and perhaps a pattern will emerge about the nature of coincedence and fate. Just a pet project if you're interested check out the URL on my profile. And I personally belive that there is such a thing as fate, and that it is an entirely human invention, just like love and hate are; love and hate are intangible concepts, but if you feel them don't they become real? If you feel that there is a reason for a coincedence, that it was fate for you to run into your neighbour on the other side of the world, then that feeling makes it fate. Concepts like fate wouldn't exist without human imagination. That said, I cannot think of any logical reasons for the coincedences that I notice, yet I feel there that there must be.