SGPflughaupt
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2000
- Messages
- 153
Here's a spoof advert for a new episode of STARGATE:SG-1
ANNOUNCER: (credits rolling) "Next week on Stargate:SG-1...The SG team goes to a world where showering is an important function in all ceremonies...
Hammond: (wearing only flip-flops,a towel around his waist and another towel over his shoulder). "Well,Gar-ush, I'm glad you decided to join Earth in alliance against the Goa'uld"
Gar-ush: (wearing robe and holding soap and towel. Bows head to Hammond) Thank you for joining us in the Shower Ceremony of Welcome. It is an important ceremony to us for sealing agreements. (Waves a hand to the door) Shall we procede to the showers.
Hammond: (Tucking back in his towel around his waist which has begun to slip) Yes, SG-1 and I will be happy to begin the ceremony.
Jack: (wearing robe with a towel around neck;muttering) It would have been better if the ceremony was co-ed.
Hammond,Jack,Teal'c and Daniel and other Earth representives follow Gar-ush into the showerroom.
Cut to later scene in shower
Gar-ush: (holds up bar of soap)"Praise to the deities Lifebouy,Irish Spring and Zest" (The rest repeat the names again in chant.)
Jack: (Standing under shower as the water washes over his head and shoulders. The water flows down across his chest and to lower areas. -note to writer from M.Greenberg "This is a PG-13 show remember"- ) "So..what happen to the god Dove"
Gar-ush: (Laughs kindly at Jack's ignorance of their pantheon of Gods) "Dove, of course, is only revered by the females...A god like Irish Spring is more manly and revered by us males"
Teal'c: (Holding up a bicep as he lathers up his chest and side with a bar of soap. The soap trickles slowly down his chest and legs -note to writer from M.Greenberg "remember,PG-13") "I find it most interesting that your gods are named after brands of soap from Earth."
Gar-ush: (holding his face to the water to wash the soap from his eyes.) "It is only logical that since cleanliness is next to Godliness that soap must be his Avatar in our universe...for what is cleaner than soap."
Daniel: (slowly,very slowly,runs a wash rag over his arms and chest,his eyes closed -writer to M.Greenberg "I remember,I remember,..PG-13"- ) "It does seem to follow a certain consistant logic, uh, somehow. Hey, Teal'c, pass me the soap,please"
Teal'c: (holds out soap to Daniel) "Certainly, Daniel Jackson"
(Daniel takes hold of the proffered bar of soap but sadly Teal'c lets go of the bar before Daniel has a firm grip and the soap falls to the ground. A hush falls over the group)
Daniel: "Uh, sorry, Teal'c. Do you mind picking it up for me.
Teal'c: (Raises one eyebrow) "I will not."
(Daniel looks over to Jack and Hammond at Teal'c flat reply)
Jack: "Don't look at me, I not doing it." (looks at Hammond)
Hammond: (Looks back at Jack) "If you think I will do it....Generals give orders to Colonels and not the other way around so unless you can find another Colonel here,I may have to order you to carry out this mission."
(A silence decends apon the group which is broken by the sound of scratching from the back. Everyone turns to see what is making the noise. In the back of the Shower room is Colonel Maybourne trying to use a penknife to drill a hole in the wall to spy on the women's shower next door)
Maybourne: (looking up from his work when he feels all eyes on him) "What?"
Hammond: (a tiny grin on his face). "Colonel,I have a vital mission I must ORDER you to carry out..."
this ones for jsc and her shower fetish
ANNOUNCER: (credits rolling) "Next week on Stargate:SG-1...The SG team goes to a world where showering is an important function in all ceremonies...
Hammond: (wearing only flip-flops,a towel around his waist and another towel over his shoulder). "Well,Gar-ush, I'm glad you decided to join Earth in alliance against the Goa'uld"
Gar-ush: (wearing robe and holding soap and towel. Bows head to Hammond) Thank you for joining us in the Shower Ceremony of Welcome. It is an important ceremony to us for sealing agreements. (Waves a hand to the door) Shall we procede to the showers.
Hammond: (Tucking back in his towel around his waist which has begun to slip) Yes, SG-1 and I will be happy to begin the ceremony.
Jack: (wearing robe with a towel around neck;muttering) It would have been better if the ceremony was co-ed.
Hammond,Jack,Teal'c and Daniel and other Earth representives follow Gar-ush into the showerroom.
Cut to later scene in shower
Gar-ush: (holds up bar of soap)"Praise to the deities Lifebouy,Irish Spring and Zest" (The rest repeat the names again in chant.)
Jack: (Standing under shower as the water washes over his head and shoulders. The water flows down across his chest and to lower areas. -note to writer from M.Greenberg "This is a PG-13 show remember"- ) "So..what happen to the god Dove"
Gar-ush: (Laughs kindly at Jack's ignorance of their pantheon of Gods) "Dove, of course, is only revered by the females...A god like Irish Spring is more manly and revered by us males"
Teal'c: (Holding up a bicep as he lathers up his chest and side with a bar of soap. The soap trickles slowly down his chest and legs -note to writer from M.Greenberg "remember,PG-13") "I find it most interesting that your gods are named after brands of soap from Earth."
Gar-ush: (holding his face to the water to wash the soap from his eyes.) "It is only logical that since cleanliness is next to Godliness that soap must be his Avatar in our universe...for what is cleaner than soap."
Daniel: (slowly,very slowly,runs a wash rag over his arms and chest,his eyes closed -writer to M.Greenberg "I remember,I remember,..PG-13"- ) "It does seem to follow a certain consistant logic, uh, somehow. Hey, Teal'c, pass me the soap,please"
Teal'c: (holds out soap to Daniel) "Certainly, Daniel Jackson"
(Daniel takes hold of the proffered bar of soap but sadly Teal'c lets go of the bar before Daniel has a firm grip and the soap falls to the ground. A hush falls over the group)
Daniel: "Uh, sorry, Teal'c. Do you mind picking it up for me.
Teal'c: (Raises one eyebrow) "I will not."
(Daniel looks over to Jack and Hammond at Teal'c flat reply)
Jack: "Don't look at me, I not doing it." (looks at Hammond)
Hammond: (Looks back at Jack) "If you think I will do it....Generals give orders to Colonels and not the other way around so unless you can find another Colonel here,I may have to order you to carry out this mission."
(A silence decends apon the group which is broken by the sound of scratching from the back. Everyone turns to see what is making the noise. In the back of the Shower room is Colonel Maybourne trying to use a penknife to drill a hole in the wall to spy on the women's shower next door)
Maybourne: (looking up from his work when he feels all eyes on him) "What?"
Hammond: (a tiny grin on his face). "Colonel,I have a vital mission I must ORDER you to carry out..."
this ones for jsc and her shower fetish 