Vera
Peaceful Explorer
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2000
- Messages
- 1,147
OK, here's a "small" list of my favs. 
:rolly2:
SMALL VICTORIES
O'Neill: "I'd be happy to debrief you all after I've debriefed myself for a nice hot shower."
Hammond: "Permission to shower granted. In fact I insist on it, Colonel."
O'Neill: "Bad?"
Daniel: "I wasn't going to say anything..."
Daniel (to Thor): "Wait a minute. You're actually saying that you need someone dumber than you are?"
O'Neill: "You may have come to the right place."
O'Neill: "I don't know, Carter....you may not be dumb enough!"
O'Neill: "Would it be necessary to mention my insane aversion to bugs at this time?"
Thor: "I like the yellow ones."
Carter: "We did it."
Thor: "It was your stupid idea, Major Carter."
Carter: "Well, if you ever need any more dumb ideas, you know where to find me."
THE OTHER SIDE
Daniel: "No. Their whole world is in flames and we're offering them gasoline. How does that help?"
Teal'c: "We are in fact offering water."
O'Neill: "So what's your impression of Alar?"
Teal'c: "That he is concealing something."
O'Neill: "Like what?"
Teal'c: "I am unsure... he is concealing it."
UPGRADES
Anise: "It will measure your stength. (Jack squeezes it). Your stength is five times that of a normal human."
O'Neill: "So - no increase then."
Fraiser: "We have tried everything... short of surgically removing their arms."
Hammond: "We'll hold that option in reserve."
Hammond: "Jack. Please. Just... get the hell out of my office!"
Hammond: "I thought the devices were supposed to enhance them physically, not make them stupid."
CROSSROADS
Sho'nac: "I mean you no harm."
O'Neill: "Bra'tac, you've done something with your hair!"
Sho'nac: "Bra'tac has told me much of the Tau'ri. You are O'Neill, Teal'c's apprentice."
O'Neill: "Yes... apprentice?"
Sho'nac: "Also a warrior of great skill and cunning."
O'Neill: "Apprentice?!"
Anise: "Your father asks that I shake your hand and give Colonel O'Neill a big kiss from him."
Carter: "That may have been the other way around."
O'Neill: "Maybe..."
WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY
O'Neill: "Oh yeah! Powerplay. How far is Alaris anyway?"
Teal'c: "Several billion miles, O'Neill."
O'Neill: "That's got to be a record!"
Airman: "I'm sorry, Sir. I didn't realise you were there."
Teal'c: "You have said that on many occasions. Perhaps next time I will be not so forgiving!"
WATERGATE
Carter: "How do you know about the SGC?"
Markov: "I have read extensive files on all of you."
O'Neill: "The question was how?"
Markov: "I learned to read English at the age of six, it's not difficult."
O'Neill: "Russian humour!"
Teal'c (about a parachute): "This device seems to be poorly designed to provide such a function!"
O'Neill: "It's easy. Just jump and pull this!"
Teal'c: "This does not seem wise, O'Neill."
O'Neill: "I said it was easy, not wise."
O'Neill: "If I ask what and you say it’s classified, I’m gonna shoot you!"
Markov: "The gauge must be malfunctioning."
Daniel: "But it's Swiss!"
Daniel: "Eh. Could we stop agreeing on how we're gonna die, and start doing something about it?"
Teal'c: "Do not human's usually die when they are frozen?"
O'Neill: "Usually... They usually don't breath when they're dead either!"
THE FIRST ONES
Daniel: "Ok, I know it seems completely unlikely that you understand a word I say, but eh, I've gone about as far as I can, going at this ridiculous pace, so with your permission, I'm gonna fall down now! Rest! This is a thing you should become familiar with. Rest, it means eh ... rest!"
Daniel: "Ah, yeah, that was refreshing thank you. I'm good for another 10 miles!"
Daniel: "This is Dr. Daniel Jackson. Ah in case anybody finds this, I met a wonderful new friend and he's taking me on a long journey to see his planet."
Daniel: "Now, don't say 'kar' till you've tried it!"
Rothman: "No. It's not my thing."
O'Neill: "What isn't?"
Rothman: "People. Give me a million year old fossil I'll tell you what it had for breakfast! But I'm not too good at people. They're too recent."
SCORCHED EARTH
Carter: "Question is - will they listen?"
O'Neill: "Well, the real question is - will they have ears?"
POINT OF NO RETURN
Daniel: "Oh, that's... very good. Did you draw that yourself?"
Carter: "What is it?"
Daniel: "That's .... that's a duck, isn't it?"
TANGENT
Hammond: "Is there a problem, Colonel?"
O'Neill: "No, Sir, not at all. I'm sure Teal'c just felt he'd take her for a spin....around the world."
O'Neill: "Flight. This is Digger 1. Cheyenne, we have a problem."
O'Neill: "We just need a nudge."
Teal'c: "I am unsure of that specific measurement."
O'Neill: "You know I've already done that freezing to death thing and it's just not as enjoyable as it sounds!"
Daniel: "Well, we were kind of hoping you'd beam them out."
Jacob: "Beam them out? What am I... Scotty?!"
Daniel: ["Mak tel schree! Lotak! Mekta setak Oz!"]
Goa’uld: ["Oh tel Oz?"]
Daniel: ["Mak tel Oz, kree!"]
SERPENT’S VENOM
Jacob/Selmak: "Obviously I'll need Dr. Jackson and there may be some complicated mathematical calculations to be done, so Sam would be a big help too!"
O'Neill: "Uh, hmm..."
Jacob: "Of course, Colonel O'Neill is always lots of fun to have around."
Carter: "It's flashing green... green is good?"
Daniel: "No!"
Carter: "Bad?"
Daniel: "Bad!"
Carter: "How bad?"
Daniel: "Very, very bad!"
CHAIN REACTION
Teal'c: "On Chulak, when a great warrior retires from the field of battle, it is customary to sing a song of lament. Fortunately we are not on Chulak."
O'Neill: "The fact is, if it wasn't for SG-1, you'd be sitting there with a snake in your head, instead of your head up your ass!"
O'Neill: "Have you heard of Ikea?"
Mrs Kinsey: "Who is it, dear?"
Kinsey: "A couple of old friends."
O'Neill: "Afternoon, ma'am. I'm Mr Starsky, this is....Hutch."
Kinsey: "Colonel, have you completely taken leave of your senses!?"
O'Neill: "I'm hanging around with Maybourne, what does that say?"
Kinsey: "Oh please....given the chance, half of all American citizens won't even vote, and the half that do vote are too stupid to know what they're doing!"
O'Neill: "Which explains how you got elected."
Kinsey: "Dear, Starsky and Hutch is TV show."
Mrs. Kinsey: "Oh, you are actors then." Love that one.
2010
Daniel: "Not her personal favourite SG team!"
O'Neill: "And we are walking."
Daniel: "Uh, the sun's beeping."
ABSOLUTE POWER
Daniel: "Elevators are such a pain in the ass."
THE LIGHT
O'Neill: "Oh, Hammond will keep us supplied with everything we need until we can figure this out. It's a nice beach."
Carter: "It would be a good excuse for you, wouldn't it?"
O'Neill: "Huh?"
Carter: "To do nothing for a while."
O'Neill: "What?!"
Carter: "Forget it."
O'Neill: "That would be *Forget it, Sir*!"
Carter: "Oh, please! You think I'm keeping that up if we're stuck here forever?!"
O'Neill: "Listen, Major..."
Carter: "No way!"
O'Neill: "That's *No way, Colonel*!"
PRODIGY
O'Neill: "*The* General Ryan?"
Gen Ryan: "I've read a lot about you, Colonel, in General Hammond's reports."
O'Neill: "Yes... Sir?"
Gen. Ryan: "Thus far we like your work."
O'Neill: "Thank you, Sir. I like your's. Your Air Force, the Air Force. I love the Air Force!" Love that one.
Teal'c: "Are you ready, O'Neill?"
O'Neill: "No. Give me a warning."
Teal'c: "I'm going to shoot you."
O'Neill: "I was thinking more along the lines of on three. One... (Teal’c zats him)...God! Two! God, I said on three! God, ah."
ENTITY
Daniel: "It's obviously fighting to survive."
O'Neill: "So do bacteria!"
Carter: "It's trying to communicate."
O'Neill: "So do bac..."
DOUBLE JEOPARDY
O'Neill: "Yes... Sir, please don't open the gate, please?"
O'Neill Clone: "We're not done, pal!"
O'Neill: "I so own you!"
O'Neill Clone: "Carter and Teal'c?"
O'Neill: "Yours don't look so good. The real ones, they're okay."
O'Neill Clone: "Are we still so far from real to you?"
O'Neill: "No, I guess not."
O'Neill Clone: "Then I believe we are done."
EXODUS
O'Neill: "Hey, kids! We're not parked in a red zone are we?"
O'Neill: "That guy is a living cliche."
O'Neill: "Something wrong?"
Carter: "No, I've just never blown up a star before."
O'Neill: "Well, they say the first one's always the hardest."
:rolly2: SMALL VICTORIES
O'Neill: "I'd be happy to debrief you all after I've debriefed myself for a nice hot shower."
Hammond: "Permission to shower granted. In fact I insist on it, Colonel."
O'Neill: "Bad?"
Daniel: "I wasn't going to say anything..."
Daniel (to Thor): "Wait a minute. You're actually saying that you need someone dumber than you are?"
O'Neill: "You may have come to the right place."
O'Neill: "I don't know, Carter....you may not be dumb enough!"
O'Neill: "Would it be necessary to mention my insane aversion to bugs at this time?"
Thor: "I like the yellow ones."
Carter: "We did it."
Thor: "It was your stupid idea, Major Carter."
Carter: "Well, if you ever need any more dumb ideas, you know where to find me."
THE OTHER SIDE
Daniel: "No. Their whole world is in flames and we're offering them gasoline. How does that help?"
Teal'c: "We are in fact offering water."
O'Neill: "So what's your impression of Alar?"
Teal'c: "That he is concealing something."
O'Neill: "Like what?"
Teal'c: "I am unsure... he is concealing it."
UPGRADES
Anise: "It will measure your stength. (Jack squeezes it). Your stength is five times that of a normal human."
O'Neill: "So - no increase then."
Fraiser: "We have tried everything... short of surgically removing their arms."
Hammond: "We'll hold that option in reserve."
Hammond: "Jack. Please. Just... get the hell out of my office!"
Hammond: "I thought the devices were supposed to enhance them physically, not make them stupid."
CROSSROADS
Sho'nac: "I mean you no harm."
O'Neill: "Bra'tac, you've done something with your hair!"
Sho'nac: "Bra'tac has told me much of the Tau'ri. You are O'Neill, Teal'c's apprentice."
O'Neill: "Yes... apprentice?"
Sho'nac: "Also a warrior of great skill and cunning."
O'Neill: "Apprentice?!"
Anise: "Your father asks that I shake your hand and give Colonel O'Neill a big kiss from him."
Carter: "That may have been the other way around."
O'Neill: "Maybe..."
WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY
O'Neill: "Oh yeah! Powerplay. How far is Alaris anyway?"
Teal'c: "Several billion miles, O'Neill."
O'Neill: "That's got to be a record!"
Airman: "I'm sorry, Sir. I didn't realise you were there."
Teal'c: "You have said that on many occasions. Perhaps next time I will be not so forgiving!"
WATERGATE
Carter: "How do you know about the SGC?"
Markov: "I have read extensive files on all of you."
O'Neill: "The question was how?"
Markov: "I learned to read English at the age of six, it's not difficult."
O'Neill: "Russian humour!"
Teal'c (about a parachute): "This device seems to be poorly designed to provide such a function!"
O'Neill: "It's easy. Just jump and pull this!"
Teal'c: "This does not seem wise, O'Neill."
O'Neill: "I said it was easy, not wise."
O'Neill: "If I ask what and you say it’s classified, I’m gonna shoot you!"
Markov: "The gauge must be malfunctioning."
Daniel: "But it's Swiss!"
Daniel: "Eh. Could we stop agreeing on how we're gonna die, and start doing something about it?"
Teal'c: "Do not human's usually die when they are frozen?"
O'Neill: "Usually... They usually don't breath when they're dead either!"
THE FIRST ONES
Daniel: "Ok, I know it seems completely unlikely that you understand a word I say, but eh, I've gone about as far as I can, going at this ridiculous pace, so with your permission, I'm gonna fall down now! Rest! This is a thing you should become familiar with. Rest, it means eh ... rest!"
Daniel: "Ah, yeah, that was refreshing thank you. I'm good for another 10 miles!"
Daniel: "This is Dr. Daniel Jackson. Ah in case anybody finds this, I met a wonderful new friend and he's taking me on a long journey to see his planet."
Daniel: "Now, don't say 'kar' till you've tried it!"
Rothman: "No. It's not my thing."
O'Neill: "What isn't?"
Rothman: "People. Give me a million year old fossil I'll tell you what it had for breakfast! But I'm not too good at people. They're too recent."
SCORCHED EARTH
Carter: "Question is - will they listen?"
O'Neill: "Well, the real question is - will they have ears?"
POINT OF NO RETURN
Daniel: "Oh, that's... very good. Did you draw that yourself?"
Carter: "What is it?"
Daniel: "That's .... that's a duck, isn't it?"
TANGENT
Hammond: "Is there a problem, Colonel?"
O'Neill: "No, Sir, not at all. I'm sure Teal'c just felt he'd take her for a spin....around the world."
O'Neill: "Flight. This is Digger 1. Cheyenne, we have a problem."
O'Neill: "We just need a nudge."
Teal'c: "I am unsure of that specific measurement."
O'Neill: "You know I've already done that freezing to death thing and it's just not as enjoyable as it sounds!"
Daniel: "Well, we were kind of hoping you'd beam them out."
Jacob: "Beam them out? What am I... Scotty?!"
Daniel: ["Mak tel schree! Lotak! Mekta setak Oz!"]
Goa’uld: ["Oh tel Oz?"]
Daniel: ["Mak tel Oz, kree!"]
SERPENT’S VENOM
Jacob/Selmak: "Obviously I'll need Dr. Jackson and there may be some complicated mathematical calculations to be done, so Sam would be a big help too!"
O'Neill: "Uh, hmm..."
Jacob: "Of course, Colonel O'Neill is always lots of fun to have around."
Carter: "It's flashing green... green is good?"
Daniel: "No!"
Carter: "Bad?"
Daniel: "Bad!"
Carter: "How bad?"
Daniel: "Very, very bad!"
CHAIN REACTION
Teal'c: "On Chulak, when a great warrior retires from the field of battle, it is customary to sing a song of lament. Fortunately we are not on Chulak."
O'Neill: "The fact is, if it wasn't for SG-1, you'd be sitting there with a snake in your head, instead of your head up your ass!"
O'Neill: "Have you heard of Ikea?"
Mrs Kinsey: "Who is it, dear?"
Kinsey: "A couple of old friends."
O'Neill: "Afternoon, ma'am. I'm Mr Starsky, this is....Hutch."
Kinsey: "Colonel, have you completely taken leave of your senses!?"
O'Neill: "I'm hanging around with Maybourne, what does that say?"
Kinsey: "Oh please....given the chance, half of all American citizens won't even vote, and the half that do vote are too stupid to know what they're doing!"
O'Neill: "Which explains how you got elected."
Kinsey: "Dear, Starsky and Hutch is TV show."
Mrs. Kinsey: "Oh, you are actors then." Love that one.
2010
Daniel: "Not her personal favourite SG team!"
O'Neill: "And we are walking."
Daniel: "Uh, the sun's beeping."
ABSOLUTE POWER
Daniel: "Elevators are such a pain in the ass."
THE LIGHT
O'Neill: "Oh, Hammond will keep us supplied with everything we need until we can figure this out. It's a nice beach."
Carter: "It would be a good excuse for you, wouldn't it?"
O'Neill: "Huh?"
Carter: "To do nothing for a while."
O'Neill: "What?!"
Carter: "Forget it."
O'Neill: "That would be *Forget it, Sir*!"
Carter: "Oh, please! You think I'm keeping that up if we're stuck here forever?!"
O'Neill: "Listen, Major..."
Carter: "No way!"
O'Neill: "That's *No way, Colonel*!"
PRODIGY
O'Neill: "*The* General Ryan?"
Gen Ryan: "I've read a lot about you, Colonel, in General Hammond's reports."
O'Neill: "Yes... Sir?"
Gen. Ryan: "Thus far we like your work."
O'Neill: "Thank you, Sir. I like your's. Your Air Force, the Air Force. I love the Air Force!" Love that one.
Teal'c: "Are you ready, O'Neill?"
O'Neill: "No. Give me a warning."
Teal'c: "I'm going to shoot you."
O'Neill: "I was thinking more along the lines of on three. One... (Teal’c zats him)...God! Two! God, I said on three! God, ah."
ENTITY
Daniel: "It's obviously fighting to survive."
O'Neill: "So do bacteria!"
Carter: "It's trying to communicate."
O'Neill: "So do bac..."
DOUBLE JEOPARDY
O'Neill: "Yes... Sir, please don't open the gate, please?"
O'Neill Clone: "We're not done, pal!"
O'Neill: "I so own you!"
O'Neill Clone: "Carter and Teal'c?"
O'Neill: "Yours don't look so good. The real ones, they're okay."
O'Neill Clone: "Are we still so far from real to you?"
O'Neill: "No, I guess not."
O'Neill Clone: "Then I believe we are done."
EXODUS
O'Neill: "Hey, kids! We're not parked in a red zone are we?"
O'Neill: "That guy is a living cliche."
O'Neill: "Something wrong?"
Carter: "No, I've just never blown up a star before."
O'Neill: "Well, they say the first one's always the hardest."
