The Weakest Link

*Anne ducks and it hits Chakotay right on the forehead*

Go ahead Dave, grace us.....
 
I'll have a stab at starting this, maybe we can all join in, I don't know whether it would be as good as Neo's

-- Round Four --

Chakotay gets back up, unable to discover where the board came from...

HOST: If you would stop messing around please, and put that Bat'leth away now! No wonder you all got lost for seven years....

Kathryn Janeway...

JANEWAY: Yes

HOST: You had a holographic boyfriend, I believe?

JANEWAY: Well, um, ...it's just a story, a digression after a hard days work, a chance to pretend to be somewhere else.

HOST: Real Men weren't good enough for you then?
 
HOST: Moving along then everybody, Let's play Round Four of... The Weakest Link!!

HOST: Chakotay, What sort of computer chips make up Data's brain?

CHAKOTAY: I'm not good on food questions, you should have asked Neelix!

HOST: Wrong, they are Positronic!

CHAKOTAY: I wish I had those!

HOST: B'Elanna...

B'ELANNA: Bank!

HOST: I'm afraid that you still haven't anything to bank!

B'ELANNA: It was worth a try!

HOST: What do Klingons never do when playing Poker?

B'ELANNA: Bluff.

HOST: Correct. Janeway...

JANEWAY: Bank!

HOST: Now you're getting the idea! Which is a worse Emergency -- Code 1 or Code 2?

JANEWAY: Code 1, that's a declaration of War!

HOST: Correct. Chakotay, What is an AU -- an Astronomical Unit?

CHAKOTAY: I'm not very good with big numbers either!

HOST: Wrong. It is the distance between the Earth and the Sun. Okay team. Time to vote again. Who's Shields are holding at 20%?

(Insert canned laughter from the audience)

HOST: Time to vote off... The Weakest Link!

(VOICE-OVER): Janeway and B'Elanna tied as the strongest link, but Janeway managed to bank some money for the first time. Chakotay was again the weakest link in that last round. At least he's moved from examining his equipment. But will the team have noticed?

HOST: Voting over everybody. Let's see the results...

B'ELANNA: Chakotay

JANEWAY: Chakotay

CHAKOTAY: B'Elanna

HOST: Chakotay, once again you were the weakest link. So why have you again voted for B'Elanna?

CHAKOTAY: Did I? Oh, sorry that was the wrong board. I've been useless since that board hit me on the head earlier!

HOST: Chakotay, with two votes. You are the weakest link... Goodbye!

(Backstage) CHAKOTAY: They've never liked me. Even in the Maquis my whole crew were spying on me! I'm finished with Starfleet!
 
HOST: Welcome back to Round Five... of 'The Weakest Link'. So far you have banked 20,000 Federation Credits out of a possible 300,000 Federation Credits. There are two of you left, Janeway and B'Elanna. You have just 90 seconds, but whatever you bank will be doubled, added to your total so far, and then converted into Gold-pressed Latinum. We'll start with the strongest link from the last round, Janeway... Approximately how many planets are affiliated to the Federation of Planets?

JANEWAY: Is it 47 this time?

HOST: No, it's 150.

JANEWAY: Damn!

HOST: B'Elanna, why is intergalactic travel impossible?

B'ELANNA: Not for my husband, did you know he holds the record for the fastest a man has ever travelled?

HOST: I'm asking the questions, do you know it or not?

B'ELANNA: Is it because of the Great Energy Barrier?

HOST: Correct!

JANEWAY: Bank!

HOST: How many Neutral Zones are there bordering Federation Space?

JANEWAY: Are you including the Federation I began inside the Void?

HOST: No!

JANEWAY: Two

HOST: Correct.

JANEWAY: Yes!

HOST: What is the annual Starfleet Academy dance called?

B'ELANNA: How should I know? I was expelled from the Academy!

HOST: Sorry, it's the Sandy Hawkins Dance.

Time's up.... You banked a further 20,000 credits, doubled to 40,000, making a grand total of a puny 60,000 credits. But only one of these players can take it home... the final round will decide who, when we return to... 'The Weakest Link'.
 

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