What was the last movie you saw?

[dask]

Picked up a set of 20 musicals starting off with a fistful of Rita Hayworth flicks.

 

[hitmouse]

Sexmission (1984) - I finally found the answer to a question that occasionally occurs to me (usually half way through some masochistic watching of godawful 1970s British Sex comedy.) "Is there," I ask myself, "anything less erotic or funny than British sex comedies?" The answer is Yes, Polish sex comedies. Sexmission is a Polish, science fiction, political satire, sex comedy and it misses of every count. Apart from the Polish bit. I they got that right. They might have got some of the satire bit right too, thinking about it, but I suspect you would have to be a serious student of 1980's Polish history to even recognise any of the jokes as jokes - let alone find them funny.

Two men get themselves cryogenically frozen and wake up in a post-nuclear war, underground world, populated entirely by women. Many of whom take their clothes off.

Possibly the only film to end with a massive close up, freeze frame of a newborn baby's penis. Somewhere in Poland there is a 38 year old man whose greatest claim to fame is that his penis filled the screen of what turned out to be a very successful (in Poland) film while the end credits rolled. I wonder if he's on the Polish talkshow circuit?

Where did you find this?
Its not on Disney+.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

The Humanoid (L'umanoide, 1979)

This Italian rip-off of Star Wars announces its inspiration right away, with the opening titles crawling up the screen at an angle, followed by a giant spaceship passing overhead. In many other visual ways, the film strongly resembles its origin. The plot is another matter.

For some reason, Earth is now known as Metropolis. The guy in charge is called Great Brother, maybe because his brother is the chief bad guy, our film's imitation Darth Vader, with a very similar costume. The other villains are a nutty scientist and Bond Girl Barbara Bach as Lady Agatha, who has to have one woman a day killed by sticking huge needles in her body in order to obtain some kind of serum that keeps her young. She'll turn into a skeleton at the end. The bad guys turn space pilot Richard "Jaws" Kiel, sort of a huge Han Solo, into a Humanoid. In this universe, that means a grunting, mindless, invulnerable killing machine.

The good guys are utterly forgettable Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia types, along with a little kid with weird mental powers. Kiel gets sent to kill Great Brother, but very quickly the kid zaps him back into a good guy, so our heroes can fight the villains. The kid turns out to be a time-travelling Tibetan mystic from the past!

A silly film, goofy enough to be worth mocking.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Star Odyssey (Sette uomini d'oro nello spazio, "Seven golden men in space," 1979)

Bottom-of-the-barrel Italian space opera. It doesn't even look like a rip-off of Star Wars, but more like something from the 1960's. The nearly incomprehensible plot has something to do with a lizard-faced guy who bought Earth in an auction, so he shows up in a spaceship with his army of "androids" (guys with blonde wigs.) A guy who is said to be two centuries ahead of the rest of humanity (how did they measure that?) assembles a team of folks to defend the planet.

There's the nominal hero, a guy nicknamed "Hollywood;" the advanced guy's niece, the nominal love interest; a gambler whose eyes light up when he uses his psychic powers (just like the advanced guy); a guy who keeps doing somersaults; a couple of brilliant chemists who have to be broken out of jail; and, most annoyingly, a pair of goofy-looking robots, boy and girl, who are supposed to provide the comedy relief by talking about their romance and their attempted suicides.

As an example of the extreme cheapness of this thing, the bad guy's attack on Earth is shown via black-and-white stock footage of buildings getting blown up (possibly from World War Two.) There are also "light swords" that are obviously inexpensive props covered with luminous paint.

 

[paranoid marvin]

Ghostwatch

Anyone else here watch this when originally aired and not realise it was a drama? This was produced at a time when 'Crimewatch' was a very popular BBC series, and presented in a very similar way, with actors you wouldn't normally associate with drama productions. Without the added kick of not realising it wasn't 'real', it obviously losing something, but is still a very good watch in its own right. There really is nothing else like this out there.

 

[JunkMonkey]

Where did you find this?
Its not on Disney+.

I switched on my Amazon Firestick typed 'SEX' into the search engine and selected the first thing that didn't have Sarah Jessica Parker in.

 

[JunkMonkey]

Star Odyssey (Sette uomini d'oro nello spazio, "Seven golden men in space," 1979)

Bottom-of-the-barrel Italian space opera. It doesn't even look like a rip-off of Star Wars, but more like something from the 1960's. The nearly incomprehensible plot has something to do with a lizard-faced guy who bought Earth in an auction, so he shows up in a spaceship with his army of "androids" (guys with blonde wigs.) A guy who is said to be two centuries ahead of the rest of humanity (how did they measure that?) assembles a team of folks to defend the planet.

The version I have in some very low resolution Box set of SF 'Classics' (four or five movies per disc) appears to be presented with a reel out of order. Once I had realised that the plot made slightly more sense... but not much. According to my film diary I watched this once, 17 years ago, and it's still burned into my psyche. But then I did actually pay money to see The Humanoid (L'umanoide, 1979) in the cinema when it was released. (I think drug consumption may have been involved.)

 

[Vladd67]

Ghostwatch

Anyone else here watch this when originally aired and not realise it was a drama? This was produced at a time when 'Crimewatch' was a very popular BBC series, and presented in a very similar way, with actors you wouldn't normally associate with drama productions. Without the added kick of not realising it wasn't 'real', it obviously losing something, but is still a very good watch in its own right. There really is nothing else like this out there.

Sadly I started to watch it and turned it off quite quickly thinking it was just a pile of fake rubbish.

 

[Jeffbert]

WHERE THE SPIES ARE (1966) Doctor Jason Love (David Niven) is an ex spy, who is recruited for one last mission. Interesting film. Despite the lengthy cast, Niven is the only one familiar to me.

In keeping with the model established by the BOND films, there is a young woman involved. Not too shabby, but likely forgettable.

 

[KGeo777]

The Humanoid (L'umanoide, 1979)



For some reason, Earth is now known as Metropolis. The guy in charge is called Great Brother, maybe because his brother is the chief bad guy, our film's imitation Darth Vader, with a very similar costume.

Credit where credit is due.
The helmets look more professionally designed than the Star Wars ones. Ivan Rassimov's helmet sure is smooth and symmetrical unlike Darth Vader's.
Also, the flying ship effects are pretty good--Antonio Margheriti did them. For something that did not use motion control or any fancy ILM technology--it looks pretty good compared to similar efforts.

I did like the light saber arrows.

 

[worldofmutes]

Family’s been at the old homestead cleaning and fixing everything up.

Last night we watched Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. For a Marvel film it had great, genuine martial arts. Reminded me of Tekken. Was funny how I could recite the Chinese dialogue.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

The version I have in some very low resolution Box set of SF 'Classics' (four or five movies per disc) appears to be presented with a reel out of order. Once I had realised that the plot made slightly more sense... but not much. According to my film diary I watched this once, 17 years ago, and it's still burned into my psyche. But then I did actually pay money to see The Humanoid (L'umanoide, 1979) in the cinema when it was released. (I think drug consumption may have been involved.)

The version I watched on YouTube ends with a scene that should take place at the start, when the bad guy buys the Earth at an auction. That only adds to the confusion.

 

[Mr Cairo]

Ghostwatch

Anyone else here watch this when originally aired and not realise it was a drama? This was produced at a time when 'Crimewatch' was a very popular BBC series, and presented in a very similar way, with actors you wouldn't normally associate with drama productions. Without the added kick of not realising it wasn't 'real', it obviously losing something, but is still a very good watch in its own right. There really is nothing else like this out there.

My family was foooled by this for about 10 minutes then realised that we were watching a "live" transmission with accompanying subtitles and that made us realise it was all fake ... it was well made though

Years later my soon to be wife and I discussed watching it and she said it had terrified her, I laughed so hard I thought she might not marry me

 

[worldofmutes]

Couple more movies my cousin and I watched (when we weren’t raking up packrat crap and his entire nest under an old washing machine)

Leprechaun - Jennifer Aniston has always been pretty gosh darn pretty. Whatever happened to Jennifer Connelly?

Pi - trippy movie about mathematics. Patterns in the Torah and the Stock Market. We didn’t finish it though because the women came home.

Drunken Fist - Cracked me up.

 

[Mr Cairo]

Whatever happened to Jennifer Connelly?

Snowpiercer and the soon to be in cinemas Top Gun: Maverick as Penny Benjamin the Admirals Daughter

 

[Jeffbert]

IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT (1967) As is my recently acquired habit, I was paying attention to product placement and such. COKE, PEPSI, DR. PEPPER; candy bars, though out of focus, were easily identifiable: BABY RUTH, BIT O HONEY, MILKY WAY & BUTTERFINGER. Had to wait for the guy to move aside, to see them. INTERNATIONAL HARVESTER, COKE bottles in cases, next to the COKE machine, & what must be cherry soda, also in COCA-COLA cases.

For the longest times, I thought there was a movie called, that one stand-out line, "They Call me Mr. Tibbs."


This film was intense, but nowhere near so as NO WAY OUT (1950).
Dr. Luther Brooks (Sidney Poitier) is a physician on duty in the jail ward of the hospital. Two criminals are brought in, and placed under his care. The two are brothers, one of which is Ray Biddle (Richard Widmark), both are extreme racists. While working on the other Biddle named Johnny, Brooks perceives that he may be suffering from a brain tumor, and proceeds to perform a spinal tap. I had one of those, & can say, 1 is enough! But, Ray Biddle is watching all along, assuming Brooks was harming Johnny, spewing racist terms for black people- some I had never heard before - intense. Johnny dies, and Ray blames Brooks for murdering him.

Ray Biddle accuses Brooks of murdering Johnny, and refuses to authorize an autopsy to determine the cause of death. bad things happen! Don't want to spoil it.


THE DEFIANT ONES (1958) Prisoners being transported escape, and flee. Noah Cullen (Sidney Poitier) is shackled to John Jackson (Tony Curtis) and while they share the same goal, they are also at each other's throats, because of their racial bigotry.

By the time they are recaptured, their hatred has become brotherhood. Very moving scene.

Great supporting cast, includes the General from THE TIME TUNNEL (Whit Bissell) & Alfalfa.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

For the longest times, I thought there was a movie called, that one stand-out line, "They Call me Mr. Tibbs."


.

There is, indeed, a sequel to In the Heat of the Night called They Call Me Mister Tibbs! (1970)

They Call Me Mister Tibbs! - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

It was followed by another sequel called The Organization.

The Organization (film) - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[alexvss]

The Crow (1994). A man and his fiancée are brutally murdered in Devil's night, Hallowen's Eve. One year later, the man is resurrected by a crow, and he wants revenge. Although pretty straightforward, the story keeps you hooked. I had some issues with it though: the protagonist is too strong, and you know a character is there just to become hostage.

This is a cursed story. The fiancée of the author of the original comic died while the story was in the works; and Brandon Lee (Bruce Lee's son, who plays the title character) died on an accident during filming (he was also engaged).

 

[alexvss]

Let The Right One In.
weird and compelling!

The ending scene--the one of the pool--is great!

 

[J Riff]

The version I watched on YouTube ends with a scene that should take place at the start, when the bad guy buys the Earth at an auction. That only adds to the confusion.

I never did finish watching it...

Star Odyssey 1979 Ital. -- this one starts with a big starship bridge, blue unis, and the sighting of an alien flying saucer, superior velocity, full radio silence.
Lots beeping sound FX all through this, Good Aurora model-quality spaceships. On the saucer we get an overlord-type with the typical high collar outfit, so he can't see to the side without turning his head. The crew all have platinum-blonde long-hair wigs.
Back on our starship - "Man meets an alien race at last, and greets them by disintegrating their vessel." But the saucer is having none of that, it flies right on in through ineffectual Earth atomic-cannon crossfire defence.
Huh, turns out our alien commander has bought the Earth at an auction. Cut to >>> WWII stock footage of explosions. Various Earth cities are obliterated. Only Prof. Morey is going to be able to figure this out and save everyone. He is two centuries smarter'n everyone else, but is of course too stubborn, independent etc. But, he might listen to Oliver 'Hollywood' Carrera, who "acts as if he is a superstar in a TV series called 'Fighting Hero of the Galaxy'."
Robed Prof. Morey informs us the UFO is made of 'Indirium' , super-rare stuff on Earth. He has a cute beeping bot, with little hands wrapped in tinfoil, but it doesn't speak. Morey's pals - Shawn and Bridgette, must be broken out of prison in order to invent a new substance that will perforate Indirium. A young Lieutenant is hypnotized by Morey's glowing eyes to undertake the escape. Now we get glowing-eyes telekinetic control of a silver ball by famous gambler Dirk Laramie, on the starship. The losers demand their money back but Dirk just starts a brawl. One of them falls onto a bench. where two hippies wearing ponchos insert a fuming water-pipe into his mouth. I'm not making this up.
Dirk wears a glittering spider-shirt; Morey fiddles with gadgets that look like modren cellphones. Good grief, back on the UFO they are gathering humans from the surface. We see some footage of cool-looking black dudes, as an awful robotic voice-over inform us that: "One thousand dark-skinned units of various ages have been collected." They are to be processed and stored in Hold Six, Container Four.
25 min. in, and we are off to 'The Alcatraz of the Heavens' ... apparently, this version of this classic that I'm watching has 2 reels out of order, but it probably won't matter. Cheery synth/flute tunes play, and there's the space station - a tambourine, maybe a hubcap with a couple parts welded on, but pretty cool, an Astroport, where prisoners are kept in suspended animation - standing up in tubes - cut to: Little Norman, battling a big robot - Hercules Four, who has killed many contestants, in a boxing ring, for the World Championship. This is good stooge action, Norman does acrobatic tricks and the ref gets hit numerous times by the bot - cut to Dirk cheating at poker, he can see through cards once his eyes light up. Yipes, in another game, all the money - and the pleasure of a night with Irene, are on the line. This is adult stuff.
Now the Cmdr. talks about the 'Oof-oh" not, U.F.O. - Oofoh. Soo... now we are at an auction house - of planets, to the Lords of the Galaxy. Groovy alien costumes. Are the reels out of order yet>? Irrelevant. Brigette instigates a prison breakout using her feminine wiles.
It gets better; now we have a re-animated suicidal talking robot, looks like a silver frogman. There's still an hour left in this epic, horrific dialogue galore - 'Tillie - she's the light of my transistors'. I can't watch anymore right now, going to save the rest this for later. However did I miss this ridiculous masterpiece of inanity?