What was the last movie you saw?

The Corpse Vanishes - MST3K version with #1 Son. Which apparently I hadn't seen before. I could have sworn I had but somehow I had it swapped in my head with Scared to Death which is narrated by a corpse.

With the unerring eye for random connections my film watching habits throw up, I recognised actress playing the countess in this cheapo Bela Lugosi mad doctor flick as the same actress who had the memorable "my sister" one line appearance in the original Cat People - the bloody awful remake of which I watched last night.

Yes! Elizabeth Russell was quite a striking presence in these films, as well as Weird Woman (1944) and The Curse of the Cat People (also 1944.)
 
Shirley Eaton Is Sumuru Double Feature:

The Million Eyes of Sumuru (1967)

Narrated by Sumuru herself, we begin with one of her minions watching a bomb eliminate the seventeen (!) sons of the richest man in the world, now deceased, during a Chinese funeral for their dead father.

Next, several of her minions, all in identical minidresses, calmly look on, drinking wine and smoking cigarettes, as another in a pantsuit strangles some guy between her knees.

Sumuru herself (Shirley Eaton, best known for being painted gold in Goldfinger) shows up in one of her fabulous outfits. This one is a mermaid gown with a dragon face just below the waist. She doesn't move, and I suspect it would be impossible to do so in that dress.

We then see several of her minions in bikinis drown another, also in bikini, because she has committed the ultimate act of betrayal: falling in love.

All this happens in less than ten minutes, and it's all downhill from here. Top-billed Frankie Avalon (!) is really just the sidekick of our hero, second-billed George Nader (best known to me for his leading role in Robot Monster.) Eaton is third-billed, which is a crying shame, as she utterly dominates the screen whenever she appears.

Long and not very interesting story short, Nader gets captured by Sumuru because he looks just like a guy working for the leader of a fictional Asian nation (Klaus Kinski!) The idea is that he can get one of Sumuru's minions close enough to the skirt-chasing Kinski to kill him. It's a really stupid plan, because 1. The assassin is a new recruit, and turns into a Good Girl immediately and 2. Sumuru already has one of her minions disguised as one of Kinski's guards.

Eaton is a great pseudo-Bond villain, although it's vastly disappointing when she starts smooching on Nader because she really wants a man to "force" himself on her. (Thanks for the anti-feminist message, film makers!) That doesn't last long, fortunately, and she gets to beat him with a bullwhip in a later scene.

Nader is bland, hardly reacting at all to anything going on, and Avalon thinks he's in a comedy. Kinski gives an eccentric performance, which I suppose is expected. The whole thing is a poor example of the countless spy films of the time.

The Girl From Rio (1969) aka a whole bunch of alternate titles, both in English and other European languages, the oddest of which may be Mothers of America.

Eaton is back as the same character, although for some odd legal reason her name is changed. The dialogue calls her Sunanda (or something like that), the credits say Sumitra. Forget that; this is definitely Sumuru.

Our hero, reputed to have stolen ten million bucks, arrives in Rio. The local crime boss (George Sanders!) wants the money, as does Sumuru, this time leading her minions from Femina, her own city. (The role of Femina is played by Brasilia.) The hero didn't really steal anything; he deliberately wants to be captured by Sumuru so he can rescue a woman she has prisoner, one of many rich folks she keeps caged up in glass booths.

Displaying the same lack of professionalism as in the previous film, she plans to let the hero and the woman try to escape so she can kill them, after she realizes there isn't any loot. They get away, of course, so we can have our big battle between the forces of Sanders and Sumuru.

Eaton is still the star of the show. The hero is bland, Sanders seems bored (although he gets to do a lot of fondling with a woman half his age.) The costumes and sets are a lot goofier in this film. At one point, Eaton wears an outfit with a big S on it, as if she's playing Supergirl. Her hair switches from blonde to black at random.

Two very bad films with a great villainess.
 
House of a Thousand Dolls (1967)

Starts with a coffin opening to reveal a live, screaming woman inside. Once the plot gets started, it involves a stage magician (Vincent Price!) and his assistant who use their act to somehow kidnap women who are then forced into prostitution, the pair working for an unseen, mysterious figure known as the King of Hearts. Our hero (George Nader again) gets involved when a friend tries to find a missing woman and gets killed for his trouble.

Pretty bland stuff, and not as sleazy as the premise might suggest, although you've got lots of women in their underwear, one of who gets tied up and whipped. Price is criminally underused as we follow Nader around.
 
PRINCE OF THE CITY 1981 - Wanted to get this in ever since Treat Williams passed away earlier this year. Heard of it but never saw it or knew anything about it. So I sacrificed an Ironside and Columbo rerun to watch this.
I think I would have enjoyed the tv shows more. I had a better reaction to the Hill, The Offense, and Serpico as far as Lumet films go. This felt really overwrought in some places-especially Williams-- he was too unhinged emotionally for me to be able to stay locked into the film. It felt like a parody at times--this one scene that stands out is where his cop colleague gets news that a second member of their team committed suicide and he calmly goes into the backyard and screams. Then one of the Feds watching is so disturbed he says he will never work with cops again.
As far as police information movies go-I would rather revisit Donnie Brasco than this. And if I want a Treat Williams movie--it is Deep Rising for me!
 
IMG_2323.jpeg

Attempts to be bold and in your face but breaks no new ground and merely succeeds in digging a drainage ditch from one cesspool to another.
 
Last edited:
Mania (1986)

Canadian anthology film. No host or linking story, just four non-supernatural suspense stories with twist endings.

1. "See No Evil" -- Guy witnesses the prostitute who has just left his apartment knifed to death. The killer sees him, too. Guy chooses not to call the police, probably because he's engaged to be married and wouldn't want his escapade with the prostitute known. Planted clues start to point to the guy as the killer, but that's not the worst of his troubles.

2. "The Intruder" -- A rash of burglaries leads to a woman getting a watchdog. Her husband is deathly afraid of dogs, because of a childhood trauma, so he goes along with her but poisons the dog's food. Filled with remorse when he returns to find the dog in a bad way, he rushes it to the vet. The vet has some bad news for him.

3. "Have a Nice Day" -- Woman's little girl is kidnapped. Kidnapper forces her to get him some valuable family jewelry, meanwhile tormenting her on the telephone. The situation isn't what it seems to be.

4. "The Good Samaritan" -- Guy helps a woman escape from being attacked on the subway. They run off to his place, but that isn't as safe a place as he thinks.

"See No Evil" may be the best story, with a good twist. "The Intruder" has an ending from a well-known (at least to me) urban legend. "Have a Nice Day" has a weak ending, but powerfully conveys the woman's fear and desperation. "The Good Samaritan" has a twist that you may see coming.

This modest film benefits from decent, little-known actors who look like ordinary people. Not a bad way to pass the time.
 
Madhouse (1981)

Our main character is a woman who teaches hearing-impaired children. Very nice person. She hasn't seen her identical twin for many years, mainly because the evil sister used to horribly torment her when they were little girls. For one thing, she threatened her with a vicious dog.

Now the sister is in the hospital, with some kind of disfiguring disease. (Thus, we can have identical twins played by two unrelated actresses.) This tender reunion results in the evil sister promising that she'll make the good sister suffer again.

Pretty soon the evil sister escapes from the hospital. People close to the good sister get killed, either by stabbing or a vicious dog. (The dog even kills a little hearing-impaired boy. That's pretty hard core.)

Surprisingly, we get our inevitable Shocking Plot Twist about half an hour before the film ends. You may or may not see it coming.

It's pretty bloody. (Wait until you see what happens to the vicious dog. Yikes!) Not a great film, but a pretty decent shocker.
 
The Cabin
Predictable cabin-in- the- woods type slasher film about a couple who are constantly arguing and who decide, for whatever reason, to spend some time in a run down old cabin out in the middle of the woods, while some creepy guy hangs around being generally unhelpful. Same guy from Spirit of Fear stars. That was a much better film!
 
Mr Jones (2013)
Weird film about a couple in the wilds who stumble upon some weird sculptures made from bones and such, attributed to artist Mr Jones.
Didn't get the ending, it lost my attention near the end, all over the place.
(There are a few films with this title, all very different)
 
Fishy Double Feature:

Barracuda (The Lucifer Project) (1978)

That's the way the title appears on the screen, parentheses and all. The attacks by you-know-what are caused by drugs that induce hypoglycemia, thereby increasing aggressiveness. This was just an unintended side effect of a secret government project to put the drugs into the drinking water of the residents of a fictional Florida town. ("Palm Grove Lobster Capital Pop. 4000") The idea is that more aggressiveness in people will cause them to approve of the government's wars, so they won't protest. Your tax dollars at work. There are some more folks killed by barracudas, but the film turns into a conspiracy thriller as it goes on, and a lot more people get killed by people than by fish. Given that this is the 1970's, don't expect a happy ending.

Up From the Depths (1979)

An underwater earthquake releases a giant monster fish. Folks get killed. After this goes on a while, the boss of a resort on a fictional Hawaiian island offers one thousand bucks to however kills the fish. That's pretty much the whole plot, but along the way we get a lot of different characters mixed up in things. The barely seen giant fish looks like something out of a monster movie of the 1950's. A lot of the characters are played for comedy.

Not very good films.
 
Queen of the Nile (Nefertite, regina del Nilo, 1961)

Inspired by the famous statue of Nefertiti, this Italian sword-and-sandal flick tells a fictional story of her rise to the throne. Starting off as a young woman destined to become a priestess, she tries to run off with a sculptor she loves. The high priest (Vincent Price!) puts a stop to that, and condemns the fellow to death, but he goes off to see his buddy, the son of the Pharaoh, who has just won a victory over the Chaldeans.

The prince suffers from nightmares and otherwise seems mentally unstable. Soon the news arrives that the Pharaoh is dead, and now he's the new ruler. He frees the Chaldean priest who predicted this, as well as the other Chaldean prisoners, and is well on his way to accepting the monotheism of his former enemies.

Price puts a stop to this by 1. Having a Darth Vader moment in which he reveals that the priestess-to-be is his daughter 2. Having her undergo a ceremony to change her name to Nefertiti, so her old identity is dead 3. Arranging to have her marry the new Pharaoh and 4. Much later, launching a rebellion against the new ruler's monotheism.

Jeanne Crain plays Nefertiti, and she looks stunning in ancient Egyptian style (or least the cinematic version of it.) Price, is, of course, fine. Not a bad film, but don't expect lots of action. It's more of a tragic romance.
 
Roxanne (1987)

An updated retelling of Cyrano de Bergerac, with Steve Martin in the lead role and Daryl Hannah as his love interest. I'd forgotten how silly Martin's comedy is: it takes a while to get used to him fooling around, but once you do it's a decent film with some good comedy.
One of my favorite rom-coms from the '80s.
 
Thanksgiving (2023). One year after a disastrous Black Friday where people died in a store, a serial killer dressed as a pilgrim hunts those who were involved in the accident.

It’s directed by Eli Roth, which is the biggest reason I decided to watch it. He’s a bad director. But he’s not bad bad. He’s bad good. Know what I’m saying? It’s more fun than it’s scary, and its death scenes hit hard. We’re talking about the guy who directed Cabin Fever (2002) and Hostel (2005) after all.

It's also an obvious throwback to 80’s slashers, but with a pinch of social media and social commentary. Oh, and I couldn’t guess who the killer was. To try and guess who the killer is is the best thing about watching slashers. Kudos for the writers.

Now, about the bad part: it’s too cringey. Especially the dialogues. The actors try so hard to be in an 80's slasher it gets weird. Maybe they tried too hard.

But you’ll have fun if you shut down your brain and don’t take it too seriously.
 
More family fun watching Godzilla Minus One. An anti-war monster movie about forgiveness and found family. Unexpectedly happy ending.

Also watched The Wicker Man, which just turned 50. More a mystery/thriller steeped in religious philosophy than a horror movie. Truly unique vibe there in Summerisle.
 
Waxwork (1988) dir. Anthony Hickox; starring Zach Galligan, Deborah Foreman, Michelle Johnson

So very '80s comedy/horror in which David Warner opens a wax museum in surprisingly residential neighborhood -- note that several of the wax figures appear to breathe -- where he invites passing two coeds, Foreman and Johnson, to a midnight showing with an injunction against bringing more than six. Seems he needs that many to raise Hell. Literally.

A couple of the invitees end up sucked into two of the displays and become a part of the display, leading to vignettes which at their best parody various types of horror movie, though a couple of the funnier lines come toward the end.

Patrick Macnee shows up as a guide to Galligan's concerned student as he and Foreman try to figure out the mystery of the wax museum -- er -- oops; that's a different and better movie. Still, if you're in the mood for '80s silliness, this could be what you're looking for.
 
Fist of Fury (1972) In Chinese w/ English subs. I was watching this Thanksgiving and my eyes were fatigued from reading the subs. So, I went out of Apt. 314 & watched with my neighbors the slaughter of the former REDSKINS by the COWBOYS. 45 to 10!

So, anyway, in Hong Kong, there is strife between various martial arts schools, and the Japanese one is behind it. Chen Zhen (Bruce Lee) is the best of the Chinese students, whose master is against violence, and forbids his students to fight the others who come the challenge them. Eventually, The other school goes too far, & as Popeye might say, Chen Zhen has stood all he can stand, and can't stands no more. So, he goes to the Japanese school challenges them for a 1 on 1 fight, and one after another, clobbers them. They are sore losers, so, they go to the law.

As expected, the good guys win, eventually.


TCM ran all (I guess) of Lee's films in November, and several documentaries/biographies of his life. This was the 1st one shown.
 
Beer and Pretzels (1933) before being known simply as The Three Stooges, they were Ted Healy's Stooges. Healy treats the three the way Moe treats the other two. So, they are a song, dance, and comedy routine, thrown out of one restaurant after another, finally landing jobs as waiters and making a mess of it. Thoroughly amusing!
 

Similar threads


Back
Top