What was the last movie you saw?

Horror Rises from the Tomb (El espanto surge de la tumba, 1973)

Spanish scream king Paul Naschy (Jacinto Molina Alvarez) plays three roles during the first five minutes of this Eurogothic shocker. The brief prologue, set in medieval France, shows Naschy as a sorcerer being beheaded, and Naschy as the guy's brother, who denounced him to the authorities. There's another fellow there, in charge of the execution. Bad-Naschy's fellow practitioner of Satanism, blood-drinking, flesh-eating, and so forth gets killed also. In predictable fashion, she's one of the film's many beautiful young women. The two devil-worshippers cast the usual curses on the descendants of their executors.

Cut to Paris in the 1970's. Naschy now plays the descendant of the sorcerer's brother, and his artist friend is the descendant of the other guy at the execution. (Same actor, naturally.) They and their lady friends wind up contacting bad-Naschy at a séance, leading them to head out to new-Naschy's ancestral estate, way out in the snowy wilderness. In an odd plot twist, some crooks attack them, causing their car to crash, but they're rescued by some other guys, not too reputable themselves, who immediately hang the criminals in a sort of backwoods French frontier justice. It all leads up to digging for a supposed treasure, finding a chest with bad-Naschy's head, the head turning folks into his slaves and killing other folks, the head getting back together with the body, the executed woman returning to do her own evil deeds, and a very handy ancestral amulet that wards off bad-Naschy. (It doesn't work on women, we're told, so she has to get a silver needle shoved into her heart.)

The version I watched is the one censored for American TV, so it's missing the original's gore and nudity, although we do get a fair amount of blood and a fair number of women in microskirts or skimpy nightgowns. (One of the possessed women wears a completely transparent nightgown over completely opaque black underwear, which looks more silly than sexy.) The whole thing is a mish-mosh of Gothic tropes, with a remarkably high body count; I believe only one character is still alive at the end. Worth a look for those into this sort of thing.
 
And speaking of lesser threequels:

The Brady Bunch in the White House (2002)

Inferior made-for-TV follow-up to the theatrical features The Brady Bunch Movie and A Very Brady Sequel, which I enjoyed. The main problem is that we no longer have the absurd Bradys, living in the television version of the 1970's, confronting something that (more or less) resembles the modern world. Instead, the "real" world is just as goofy as they are, as Dad and Mom Brady become the President and Vice-President of the United States.

I love The Brady Bunch Movie. It's one of my go to feelgood movies. But the second one just dropped the ball for me. I gave up on it after 20 minutes.

Which I did last night with The Affair (2021) after 20 minutes the film finally got round to telling us that film was set in the 1930s - and that the protagonists were Jewish. I still had no idea where the film was supposed to be taking place - though I had managed to localise it to 'somewhere in mainland Europe'. (It was Czechoslovakia as it turns out but I only found that out by looking it up on IMDb). We had met four characters in that 20 minutes. I knew two were married and rich - they had employed a third to build a house for them but after that I had NO idea what their relationships were with anyone else, or how long they had known each other - or anything. The fourth character appeared in a party scene with the wife and the architect and, from the setup, I presumed was the partner of the architect. She flirted and danced very lasciviously with the wife and then in a sudden jump to many months later (wife is now heavily pregnant) made a pass at her... and then suddenly its a year or so later and the wife's pregnant again. The other woman wasn't sleeping with the architect but is thinking about it and is now the the wife's oldest friend (so these two didn't meet at the party?) and then suddenly it's another few years later and no one has aged at all but the kids are growing up fast and that moment of almost passion between them is mentioned obliquely and I lost the will to carry on. It looked lovely. Like a car commercial looks lovely. But badly-established cardboard characters with no motivation (apart from best friend wanting to get into wife's knickers) and dull dialogue... it was like watching paint dry. Apparently it was based on a dead arty Booker Prize shortlisted book - one to avoid I think.
 
Dreamchild (1985)

The elderly Alice Hargreaves (formerly Alice Liddell, the Alice from Alice in Wonderland) goes to 1930's America for the centenary of Lewis Carroll's birth. She confronts her earlier life and her friendship with Carroll.

Ian Holm is great as Carroll: clever and weird and rather sad (for the record, while his interest in Alice is odd, it doesn't seem to be actually sexual, which appears to be the general view these days). Coral Brown makes a convincingly out-of-time Alice Hargreaves, in a role that keeps making me think that she surely must be Dame Maggie Smith. Amelia Shankley is good as the young Alice. There are some great (and slightly sinister) creatures, courtesy of Jim Henson. The romantic subplot is weaker and slightly skippable. Decent score, too.

I found myself wondering if people in the Victorian era and 1930's America actually talked like this: the Victorians are like stuffy robots, and the Americans seem to be all about to shout "Gee whiz!". But maybe it really was like that. Dennis Potter wrote the script. I've got a feeling it might have been awkwardly cut, but overall, it's very good.
 
HIGHWAY 301 - I heard good things about writer- director Andrew L Stone's 1950 crime film. It is quite a supsenseful nail-biter--about a gang that committed various robberies and murders. It ends with a message stated by a character to the audience that congenital criminals shouldn't be treated leniently. Times sure have changed when it comes to messages on crime and punishment.

Speaking of career criminals,
DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS 1966 is very silly like the original.
 
I watched Satyajit Ray's Pather Panchali. Such satisfaction to watch a master unravel his ideology and craft. Wonderful movie!
 
A Beautiful Day In The Neighbourhood [2019] by Marielle Heller
A lovely tale of someone cynical and world weary discovering that an apparently nice person, really is a nice person and that their deep dark secret is that they really are just that nice...
Being from the UK I had only heard of "Mr Rogers" as a near cliche for the nice and too good to be true so I don't know how much of the subtly I missed. Tom Hanks was his usual extra [but somehow absolutely] ordinary acting best. And Matthew Rhys was very good as the slightly burnt out Journalist.
Sentimental, cosy, gentle? Yes. No explosion, no superheros? And I don't think there was any CGI. I loved it.
 
Michael Keaton was a crew member on Mr Roger's Neighborhood.
He made a joke about the (not so) wild times they had on set.
 
The Founder - who knew the founding of McDonald's could be a compelling subject for a movie? But it is. Michael Keaton is great as Ray Kroc, Nick Offerman and John Carrol Lynch are equally fab. Fancied a McDonald's afterwards.
 
I believe it was Terminator: Dark Fate (not that I haven't watched a film since 2019). Although the plot made no sense to me, it was so nice to see Sarah Connor being an elderly badass. Was hoping that Arnie would revive his older accent for the role, but that did not happen. Still, it was a nice touch for the two to reappear together :)
 
The Witcher: Nightmare of the wolf a fresh out of the oven Netflix original anime. And it's great! I was surprised; it was much better than my expectations. Definitely better than the live-action adaptation.

A good addition to the franchise.

Very hyped for the Star Wars anime now.
 
LATITUDE ZERO 1969 ---Yet another underwater city film--this is very imaginative (and gold once again serves as a common material for a utopian city). In this case you have two Captain Nemo characters who oppose each other--Joseph Cotten and Caesar Romero. When someone calls the latter a monster for his fiendish experiments (which are truly fiendish), he replies earnestly, "No! I am a genius!" This has everything--from bat monsters to giant rats, acid lakes, and tvs that can order you fancy dinners and a weirdly out of nowhere Wizard of Oz ending.
 
Absolutely Anything [2015] by Terry Jones
The premise is that the fate of humanity rests in the hand of an unassuming man who discovers that he has unlimited powers. He can do "Absolutely Anything".
So what does he choose to do?
What would you choose to do?
It is a quirky comedy, that doesn't really make much sense, but is a lot of fun. It has a solid cast of mainly British actors from Simon Pegg and Kate Beckinsale to Eddie Izzard and Meera Syal. The stand out feature is that it has all five living Pythons [not exactly] on screen together. It was also the last role of Robin Williams.
 
Boss Level - Surprisingly awesome time loop story with B-movie star Frank Grillo in the lead. Mel Gibson also puts in a typically charismatic performance. The action is well balanced with a story that has a lot of heart. Up there with Guns Akimbo for fun actioner that has the spirit of the best of the 80's high concept movies.
 
Those Magnificent Men And Their Flying Machines 1965 I wish they still made.films like this.:)
Was this before or after GOLDFINGER? This guy had been in more than a few comic-relief roles :D



HURCULES SAMSON & ULYSSES (1963?) Sword & sandal; H & U are shipwrecked in the Bible area, & the Philistines mistake H for S. they hold crew mates as hostages, & demand H defeat S. U is not a muscle-type!?


BLADE RUNNER the final cut (2007) I have seen BR, but too long ago to compare.
 
Robo Vampire - Somewhere in the Philippines in 1987 two very drunken movie producers bumped into each other in a bar. They were both drowning their sorrows because they'd just both had their films' finances collapse half-way through shooting and were left with reels of unusable footage.
"Tha's hell of a coincidence," says one, "what are the chances eh?"
"Pretty damn remote I'd say," says the other. "Wha's you film about then?"
"Oh, mine's about about a bunch of mercenaries rescuing a blonde agent from the sweaty rapist drug baron wha's got her all held captive in a jungle base and that. Lossa people bursting through doors and machine-gunnin rooms full of people. Wha's yours about?"
"Well it's kind of a comedy about this gorilla face vampire who's under the control of this wizard and there's this witch with nice tits who's in love with the vampire and they all get to fight this robot that's been built from this dead police guy, You know like Robocop - but sh*t."
"You know..." says the first. "I think I gotanidea...."

There is no other explanation. None. Well there is... those bags of white powder every other character was stuffing into vampire's coffins, live bullock's bellies (slice! slice! stuff stuff! stitch stitch! - and don't show that bit of footage to any animal protection organisation...) and anything else with space enough to take a kilo or two... If those bags of white powder actually were heroin or Columbian marching powder, and the whole movie was an Argo-like cover for some real drug smuggling and the crew got to stick their fingers in the sherbet then yes, that would explain it too.

Even by the fever-dream WTF?ery of the Filipino film industry this was a corker.

AHA! just looked it up on the IMDb. Robo Vampire was directed (pseudonymously as 'Joe Livingstone' ) by that master of incoherence Godfrey Ho (who, if IMDb is to be believed, directed 38 other feature films in 1988...) So there's the real explanation. Godrey Ho! Ho, legend has it - and who am I to argue with unfounded rumour? - bought an office building/production facility in Hong Kong in the 80s. In one of the rooms was a pile of cans of film. Ho and his associates decided that as they had bought the building they owned everything in it and that obviously included these movies. No one is quite sure if they owned the rights to the films but that didn't stop them from chopping them up and using them to pad out new footage which they shot quickly to cash in on any passing fad - which is why some of his film straddle genres with weird surreal disregard for any logic. 1930's set gangster movies with period clothing and cars intercut with white blokes who look like they stepped out of a Traci Lords porn flick (not that... ahem... anyway... ) white blokes with mullets and big moustaches doing ninja stuff in public parks. ('Permits'?)

I'm glad I cleared that up.
 
Alien - Director's Cut

Arguably the greatest science fiction movie of all time. The first half is pure sci-fi, the second mainly horror. I think this movie was best first time around, when we had no idea what was going to happen (no real previews back in the late 70s/early 80s!) but even now the tension is ramped to 11 with Kane peering into the opening egg or Ripley setting the auto destruct.

As much as I enjoyed 2001, I prefer my sci-fi to be closer to reality; and the setting of a dirty, run-down space tug and it's motley crew of everyday working folk in space encountering extra terrestrial life is (for me) a far more realistic prospect than many other space based movies where everything is white and new and clean and crewed with the cream of humanity (and usually male).
 
The Prince Charles Cinema is showing the Cinema cut of Alien in a double bill with Aliens at the end of September. I'll be booking tickets as I was too young to see it at the cinema.
 

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