Well, it's hard to say what would appeal 'in the same way'. I can't think, off the top of my head, of any books that have the strong adventure/fantasy theme, strong female protagonists, eroticism, and a romantic thread throughout. Take a few of any of the choices, and I could probably match something up, but the erotic/romantic female-lead fantasy isn't something I can come up with an easy match for.
For good epic fantasy with strong female characters, Michelle West's Sun Sword series comes to mind. For more erotic sci fi/fantasy, the early Anita Blake/Meridith Gentry serieses by Laurell K. Hamilton might interest you, but I'd say the stories are a little less complex, especially when compared to the Kushiel books.
And for good old-fashioned romantic space opera, Sharon Lee and Steve Miller write very enjoyable stuff I can't say enough good things about. =)
As for Anne Bishop's other books, I enjoyed Sebastian (seemed like quite an original storyline) but her Pillars of the World series wasn't as good, in my opinion. The evil clergyman bent on destroying all magic bit is just too overdone, the characters just too one-dimensional, for me to really feel any attachment to anything. Maybe others had a different experience, but I'd stick to the Black Jewels books and Sebastian if I were you.
As for the gender preference question... well, I know two other guys who love the Bishop books (as well as the Lee & Miller stuff) but we're all hopeless romantics and have a soft spot for stories with happy endings. Who knows? Next month you could find me wallowing in Harlequin romances. If you do, please slap me with Dostoyevsky until I come to my senses. I'd least like to keep a little dignity. =)