SHREK
Shrek is an ogre who meets a donkey called Donkey (how original!) who can talk - the Donkey is easily the best character in the whole movie. He steals the whole show!
Donkey sleeps over at Shrek's swamp but in the middle of the night and a load of fairy tale creatures come over too by Prince Farquaad.
"He huffed and he puffed and...signed and eviction notice." one of the three little pigs tell him.
So the huge, grumpy, ugly ol' ogre and his new donkey "friend" go to see Prince Farquaad only to find out he's a midget. (Brilliant!) Farquaad sends Shrek and Donkey to rescue Princess Fiona so Farquad can marry her, become King, find out if he has the best kingdom, then give Shrek his swamp back.
When they rescue her they find out that she's not quite what they expected - she's an a55-kickin' Princess with a deadly secret and becomes the 397 thousandth person to fight in slow-mo/bullet time - what Matrix spoof number is that???
This is just an absolutely brilliant and funny film which, like TOY STORY (kind of), even everyone who isn't about 5-8 years old like it.
It has to be the of the most funniest, intelligent comedies around. It begins with an ogre reading a fairy tale and wiping one of the pages with his arse!
Brilliant! Stitch that, Disney!
SHREK - He's an ogre. And he's the hero of this story. So, when was the last time the hero was an ogre? Never. Mike Myers does his voice with his Fat ******* Scottish accent from "Austin Powers" - even better!
DONKEY - The funniest character ever. Eddie Murphey does his voice perfectly. He also did the voice for one of the characters in "Mulan" and he stole the whole show then! Donkey's not just a donkey. He's not just a talking donkey either. He's an annoying, singing, humming, screaming, unintelligent donkey - and we love him.
Shrek and Donkey are no doubt the best characters in this movie. (especially Donkey - oh, man, I gotta stop sayin' that but he's hilarious!) Fiona was just...there. And Prince Farquaad was pretty funny sometimes. His interrogation scene with the Gingerbread Man is one of the best bits in the movie and very, very funny:
* Dramatic music and Lord Farquaad enters. He is shockingly short. Choking sounds are heard, and in silhouette on the wall behind farquaadn is the image of the Gingerbread man being almost drowned in a glass of milk. *
Gingerbread Man: * still half immersed * No, no!
Farquaad: That's enough! He's ready to talk.
* The Gingerbread Man is removed from the milk and placed on a tray, on an iron table. The table is suspended from the ceiling by chains. Farquaad approaches the table, laughing manically. *
Farquaad: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
* Pauses at the edge of the table, realising it is hovering somewhere above his head. *
Farquaad: Ho-HUM!
* The table is lowered and, taunting the Gingerbread Man with his broken off legs, Farquaad continues sarcastically *
Farquaad: Run, run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the GINGERBREAD MAN!
Gingerbread Man: You're a monster!
Farquaad: I'm not a monster, here, you are. You! And the rest of that fairy tale pack, poisoning my perfect world. Now tell me, where are the others?
Gingerbread Man: Eat me!
* He spits milk in Farquaad's face *
Farquaad: I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached an end. Tell me or I'll...
* Starts to twist the Gingerbread Man's button manically. *
Gingerbread Man: No, not the buttons, not my gum drop buttons!
Farquaad: Alright, then! Who's hiding them?
Gingerbread Man: Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the Muffin Man?
Farquaad: The Muffin Man?
Gingerbread Man: The Muffin Man!
Farquaad: Yes, I know the Muffin Man. Who lives on Drury Lane?
Gingerbread Man: Well, she's married to the Muffin Man.
Farquaad: The Muffin Man?
Gingerbread man: * shrieking * The Muffin Man!!!
Farquaad: * thoughtfully * She's married to the Muffin Man...?
And loads of other great, funny scenes. All I can say is the animation is great, the script is hilarious, the characters are cool and TOY STORY 1 and 2 are still the best CGI movies. But SHREK came close to beating it. Real close. It gets the same rating (8/10) as TOY STORY 1 and 2 but TOY STORY was still one little bit better than SHREK - both of them. Now...where's the sequelto this?!