Communal Characters

[Alurny]

Nay. You can't open a thread to all comers then suddenly revise someone's contribution 'cause you don't like. You should have specified stricter guidelines in the first post.

Seconded. It's a bit harsh as what he posted was within the guidelines given. Why not start this exercise again with stricter guidelines?

 

[Hawkshaw_245]

Why not re-start with the current character thus far, and with the new guidelines?

 

[Alurny]

Good idea.

 

[mosaix]

Seconded. It's a bit harsh as what he posted was within the guidelines given. Why not start this exercise again with stricter guidelines?

Thirded.

Very harsh on a respected poster like Jacko.

 

[Dean F. Wilson]

Fourthed (that doesn't look right).

-D

 

[j d worthington]

And I'll have to cast my vote as a Fifth. If it's within the parameters as posted, and it doesn't violate something that's been accepted beforehand, it should stand.

 

[Saolta Oiche]

Hopefully we can start it again then coz I was getting into it.

 

[Hawkshaw_245]

Updating the character....

Tall (6.3), muscular male. Olive skin, black hair and dark eyes. Birthmark shaped like a crescent on his left shoulder (but not a long lost heir).

His name was Benicio Calderon...he is an orphan. His parents died when he was ten, killed by....
An accident he was responsible for, and he has yet to forgive himself for it. Since he was alone at such a young age, his survival depended upon...
A gypsy caravan, and the barren high-ranking gypsy woman who adopted him. She raised him to be... ...a healer, for she was an expert in herbal (though some whispered magical) medicine.
He desires for one to love however his past experiences have been..
Unfulfilling...He's been haunted by a recurring dream of a wondrously beautiful maiden who cries out to him. He has no idea who she is .... ... Or how to find her, but the vividness of the dreams (and his own intimacy issues) persuade him that she is real.

Favourite possession: a miniature of his family, the only thing he has left of them.
Passions....He loves the sea. Fishing, swimming, boating, or simply staring out across the Mediterranean.

#1 sidekick...a foul-mouthed juvenile delinquent named Duffy.
The rumours of magical knowledge (as we later find, not entirely unfounded) and Duffy's limited understanding of the concept of "Property," means that the two tend to be treated with some suspicion.

He has a fear of fire, especially candles, since the accident that killed his parents was started this way. Along with the maiden dream, he dreams of fires raging across the world, and often he sees that maiden engulfed in flame, screaming for him to save her. Duffy stole a strange fire-starter (lighter) from a wizard's trade-wagon before and often taunts Benicio with it.

But the taunting did not last long after Benicio dunked his contemptuous companion head first in the sea!

The whole situation was very disagreeable for Duffy and later as the day passed and his mind settled down from the trauma he sat to quietly muse 'Still at least I did not lose my nice green hat, that is an upside I suppose.' and thus he became a rather cautious character where fire and his friend were concerned....

Sidekick #2...Gunter Skorzeny, a master craftsman in all things metal. Chubby, grizzled, and charmingly grumpy. Lives among the gypsies.

In the absence of the Faceless Woman, I move that we continue forming the character, but refrain from details that work to move it into a particular genre or setting. Hold off for the time being on magical practices, technology, etc...

Benicio's traits, vices, virtues, fears...that should be the focus.
Tack on elements of his relationships whether good or bad, mishaps, and things important to him.

We have a Spaniard raised by a Gypsy woman near the Mediterranean coast. That could place him anywhere in Southern Europe or North Africa and the past 1,000 years. Lots of stuff could happen in that time.

Let's build his world in simple terms. A village, his neighbors, friends, and rivals. How is he perceived, and what does he do?

 

[HappyHippo]

when our story starts, Benicio's gypsy caravan is trading in a field, near a fairly prosperous village, whose economy is dependent on the nearby slate quarry.

(hope this is the sort of thing you mean)

 

[Hawkshaw_245]

when our story starts, Benicio's gypsy caravan is trading in a field, near a fairly prosperous village, whose economy is dependent on the nearby slate quarry.

(hope this is the sort of thing you mean)

Well, this thread is designed for the creation of a character, not yet the story behind it. But we can use your contribution.

A village dependent on a nearby slate quarry works fine.

Duffy was run out of the quarry for swiping tools. Benicio carries food, water, and medicinal herbs to the workers at the quarry, for a small salary each week.

 

[Alurny]

Well, this thread is designed for the creation of a character, not yet the story behind it. But we can use your contribution.

A village dependent on a nearby slate quarry works fine.

Duffy was run out of the quarry for swiping tools. Benicio carries food, water, and medicinal herbs to the workers at the quarry, for a small salary each week.

The Quarry is running out of it's usefulness and many miners have been made redundant. Furthermore a recent accident caused three of the longest working miners to become seriously injured. The villagers who before this even were usually peaceful and respectful, have formed a pressure group which plans to march on the mayor's quarters in the nearby providence town of Red (II). They desire more pay for the work they do as the futher they dig the more dangerous it has become.

Benicio has set up a second venture in woodcraft in rise of the recent troubles, another resource which is rich in the area. He takes his wares to the centeral market in Red (II) every third day of the calandar moon for a return of a small fortune. He is saving to leave the village and live in Red (II) attracted by it's bright lights. He is yet to mention his plan to his friends.

 

[Saolta Oiche]

Benicio knew of his companion's previous wrong doings with the quarry and had seen him skulking around the quarry whilst Benicio had been doing his early shift.

He had confronted the toerag about his sneaking and advised him that he should steer clear if he knew what was best for him. He would let it go just this once, one warning was fair Benicio believed and fairness was rightness.

Thus he sent Duffy away from the quarry and returned to his melancholy thoughts.


---------------------------------------------------------------------

Red (II), like it.

 

[Faceless Woman]

I'm back. Sorry I couldn't make it. Glad to see the thread has continued without me, although I will admit to a slight twinge of abandonment... sniff...

Actually, this is turning out to be more Hawkshaw's than mine. He (?) is better at it anyway, so I relinquish my title.

It doesn't really matter about the genre, go right ahead. We seem to be writing a story more than a character, but oh well. Stuff happens.

Speech patterns: provincial, working man accent, rather like that of Stephan in Hard Times (Charles Dicken's). For those who don't know, firstly nyer nyer, I'm smarter than you, and secondly, that means he can't pronounce his l's, the spelling of his speech is really bad, and he tends towards w's.

 

[Alurny]

The Village: Pride and Politics

The Quarry is running out of it's usefulness and many miners have been made redundant. Furthermore a recent accident caused three of the longest working miners to become seriously injured. The villagers who before this even were usually peaceful and respectful, have formed a pressure group which plans to march on the mayor's quarters in the nearby providence town of Red (II). They desire more pay for the work they do as the futher they dig the more dangerous it has become.
Benicio: Further information

Benicio has set up a second venture in woodcraft in rise of the recent troubles, another resource which is rich in the area. He takes his wares to the centeral market in Red (II) every third day of the calandar moon for a return of a small fortune. He is saving to leave the village and live in Red (II) attracted by it's bright lights. He is yet to mention his plan to his friends.

Just to clarify where my submission is meant to be.

 

[Hawkshaw_245]

I'm back. Sorry I couldn't make it. Glad to see the thread has continued without me, although I will admit to a slight twinge of abandonment... sniff...

Actually, this is turning out to be more Hawk shaw's than mine. He (?) is better at it anyway, so I relinquish my title.

It doesn't really matter about the genre, go right ahead. We seem to be writing a story more than a character, but oh well. Stuff happens.

Speech patterns: provincial, working man accent, rather like that of Stephan in Hard Times (Charles Dickens). For those who don't know, firstly Nye nyer, I'm smarter than you, and secondly, that means he can't pronounce his l's, the spelling of his speech is really bad, and he tends towards w's.

Well, though I never sought the title of 'fearless leader', I will accept it if the gallant people of the forum will.

So I put it to you, fair people...will you accept my as chieftain of the tribe?

I assume, Faceless, you're speaking of Duffy, rather than Benicio, with regard to speech. It seems more fitting that way, given he's a thief.

"Wha'...? I din't take nothin' from the market. Okay. Maybe a pinch of wemon dwops, but that's all. I'm not a cwiminal."

 

[Saolta Oiche]

Sounds cool with, as long as you are fair and just and all that a leader should be, lol. Cool with me, I am easy.

'I ope your'rr bea puttin demm drops a back laddy!'

 

[jackokent]

Actually, this is turning out to be more Hawkshaw's than mine. He (?) is better at it anyway, so I relinquish my title.

Well that's what happens when you're harsh with innocent passing posters like me, your title gets userped.

But I agree, my post was incredibly cliche, I hadn't realised this thread was intended to be more serious. In future I will endevour to maitain the required gravitas

 

[Hawkshaw_245]

OK...I propose some guidelines for our Benicio/communal character.

All proposals can be put to a vote. As your leader, I welcome all input and comment.

Setting...

I propose that we place Benicio in Southern Europe (or a parallel S. Europe) during the age of gunpowder, but well before a full-blown industrial era. Let's say, Southern Spain or Italy, near the Mediterranean Sea, around the 1800's.


Technology and Magic...
The use of magic has been hinted at, but no bona fide use has been added to the character, or his surroundings. I propose we keep it in the realm of rumor and suspicion, at least for now. No additions about magic rings or spells or such.
Technology and science should be limited to what you would typically find in a rural setting, some 2 or 3 centuries ago.

Politics and Government...
I'm not going to worry about who was King/Queen/Prime Minister of Benicio's homeland. It doesn't really matter because this is a fantasy/fiction exercise. Keep it simple. It's already been stated that Benny's village had a mayor. We could assume his land might have a mix of elected officials, like mayors, and some nobility, too.

That's what I propose. We've done a good job of fleshing out Benicio and his world so far. Keep ti up. Your input is anxiously awaited.

 

[Hawkshaw_245]

Benicio's adoptive mother is Mama Pristina. A gypsy, she is olive-complexioned, and elderly. Though once possessing a sharp wit, her memory is beginning to fail. She taught him much about medicinal herbs and remedies.
She is revered and loved by her own people, but eyed with fear and suspicion by some people out side of her clan.

Some think she is a witch. Some think she's a warm, wise, kindly old grannie who helps everyone she can.

 

[Saolta Oiche]

Benico is fiercely protective of her.

He watches Faras Nobile, a fellow of similar age to Mama Pristina and who swoons over her, with suspsicion. He is unsure of him, as would any child be of an unknown person who has interests in one's only parent.