Descriptive Phrases

[Pyan]

Well, I searched the forum, and found no matches......

I thought that a place for reactions to those descriptive little phrases that sometimes occur to you might be useful:
No restriction on subject or length, but reasonably short is what I had in mind.

Chrispenycate and Culhwch came up with a couple that I thought were worth saving, so I'll bung them down to start, with due acknowledgement:

an squirmful of wet puppy (chris)

a scratchful of wet kitten... (Cul)


Any more? Jot 'em down..............

 

[j d worthington]

Harrrumph! The last time I came up with such ... something about a blob and a griddle ... you made some nasty little comment about my imagination.....

 

[Pyan]

Oh yes - "personal remarks about others will be frowned upon"

That better, BubbleBoy?

 

[Culhwch]

Why, really, this 'Cul' person just plagiarised Chris! I demand he be stricken from these boards and our memories immediately!

 

[Pyan]

Why, really, this 'Cul' person just plagiarised Chris! I demand he be stricken from these boards and our memories immediately!

Not plagiarised, Culhwch: Adapted, using literary licence.

 

[Culhwch]

I prefer to think of it as an homage.

 

[Joel007]

I like the way pTerry always takes it one step too far, like:
"His movements could have described as catlike, except that he didn't stop to spray urine up against things."

or

Sunlight poured like molten gold across the landscape (except trees didn't burst into flame, and people didn't become extremely rich and extremely dead), so a better similie would be "not like molten gold".

 

[Lenny]

He rarely does that any more...

 

[Talysia]

For established descriptive phrases, I'd have to say that my favourite occurs in Anne McCaffrey's DragonSinger. "She kept twitching her skirt, grunting at the steepness of the risers as she heaved her small fat person upwards." Used for describing Dunca.

As for some of my own, well, how about: (actually, though, these seem more like euphemisms)

'Ploughing the field with his face' - used when tripping over unceremoniously.

'With all the natural stealth of a brass band' - meaning, with no stealth at all.

More seriously, how about:

'A cacophany of thunderbolts'

'Dendritic patterns made of ice formed along the bottom of the window.'


Well, I tried! Sorry if these aren't what you had in mind.

 

[Lenny]

Hahaha! I love this one:

'With all the natural stealth of a brass band' - meaning, with no stealth at all.

And is it not also said that Brass Bands are perfectly fine when in their place... 10 miles away?

 

[chrispenycate]

*furtives round the door, making desperate gesticles
Shhhh! If I'm caught deforming the language like that, they'll probably revoke my pedant's licence.

 

[HappyHippo]

Hahaha! I love this one:



And is it not also said that Brass Bands are perfectly fine when in their place... 10 miles away?

Hey!!!! Speaking as a semi-talented cornet player in a brass band, I object!!!

5 miles is perfectly adequate!



I think some of the best descriptions are in Song of Solomon; these used to have us in stitches in RS class.

"I liken you, my darling, to a mare harnessed to one of the chariots of Pharoah."

"Your teeth are like a flock of sheep coming up from the washing. Each has its' twin, not one of them is alone."

"Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon, looking toward Damascus."

Wonderfully descriptive, yes, but flattering? Probably not

 

[Lenny]

As an ex-cornet player who was kept on 3rd for 7 years, I'd say in a locked room without windows would be better.

---

Your teeth are so colourful! You only need a white 'un for a snooker set!

 

[Pyan]

And as an ex-E-flat Concert Bass player (the sort that comes in two cases, one for the instrument, the other for the bell - how I envied the cornets on tour!), I'd say that brass bands are possibly the ultimate in musical development.
And I can keep a straight face at the same time!
(Just!)

 

[Lenny]

If only the same could be said for those who play the instruments. Some of the faces when they hit the higher register. Whoo!

But yes, I've still got Maths to do, but I had to pop on just to say:

E-flat, horrible, horrible, horrible key for an instrument to be in. You poor man!

 

[Talysia]

Oh dear! I didn't mean to offend any brass band members! I only meant that brass bands are rather noticeable.

Ahem! I'll try another descriptive phrase to try and make up for it. How about:

An enigma gift-wrapped in a puzzle, then nicely boxed in a mystery.

Or...

I remember one of my schoolfriends using this rather descriptive phrase once - "If brain cells were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose."
Still, it's only descriptive when applied to a person, so maybe it isn't valid offering.

 

[Lenny]

I don't think you actually offended anyone, to be honest.

Those who got out while they could still think for themselves join in with a gusto, and those who are still in one are probably too drunk to take notice. We all know what brass players are like with bars. Especially "bass" and Trombone players.

 

[Talysia]

I didn't? If so, that's good to hear. Thanks, Lenny!

 

[HappyHippo]

hehe, I wasn't offended, and I'm TT, Lenny. I'm just one of the perverted breed who actually enjoy brass bands! (Sally Army, beyond redemption.) You are however correct regarding bass and trom players; I'm related to four of the so-and-so's...

And, it was a very apt piece of descriptive language.

what about...
A sulk of teenagers?
(more literary freedom with Chris' original, aplolgies)

 

[Pyan]

You are however correct regarding bass and trom players;

I resemble that remark! It was our lead trumpet that was expelled from my school for turning up drunk to the end-of-term church service, and being spectacularly sick down the back of the Senior Languages Master!