Dawn Dragon - the whole Prologue

Mark Robson

Dragon Writer
Joined
Aug 31, 2004
Messages
2,123
Location
Daventry - England
Well, this is it. I'm not going to post any more of this story on the forum, as I've decided that I've got enough material from writing this little piece to write a novel, and maybe even a series of novels. I'm going to try to write the rest of the book in parallel with 'Imperial Assassin', the sequel to 'Imperial Spy'. As the resident dragon expert, and the story's namesake, I'm hoping that Dwndrgn will agree to proof read for me! ;)


Elian dropped to his hands and knees to crawl the last few feet. His heart raced as he neared the crest of the ridge, for he was sure that the sounds he had heard during his climb would prove his suspicions correct. There had been fresh dragonspoor in the Haleen valley yesterday and Elian believed that one of the magnificent creatures had been hunting there. If so, this could prove a unique opportunity to get a good view.

Dragons rarely ventured this far from the mountain ranges of the north, and though some of the other boys from the village had claimed to have seen them in the past, Elian suspected that these had merely been tales told to enhance the boys’ status. Could this be his chance to fulfil his most burning desire? Dragons had been almost an obsession to him since he was young enough to enjoy the stories of their brave, and noble breed. Even the dark dragons were a source of fascination, but he hoped against hope that this would not be one of those dread black dragons come south to feed, for though that would be exciting to see, it was one of the famous day dragons that he really wanted to see.

Creeping forward slowly, the floor of the valley gradually eased into view and Elian’s breath caught in his throat. His eyes widened in disbelief as he gazed in wonder at the awesome sight below him. There, standing in full view, was indeed a dragon – but what a dragon! This was no dark dragon of the night, black as coal and filled with dread anger. Neither was it a day dragon, blue as cornflower and more noble than the greatest of knights, nor even was it a dusk dragon, rare as sapphires, dusky blue-grey with proud eyes of silver. No. To Elian’s pure astonishment and delight his eyes alighted on the most rare of all of the dragon family. There, in resplendent orange-gold glory, stood a dawn dragon, its wings partially furled and its head held high, carefully surveying the valley with its beautiful shining eyes.

Elian’s chest began to hurt and he realised that he had been holding his breath, lost in wonder. Slowly, he forced the air from his straining lungs, desperate not to make the slightest of sounds in case the dragon became aware of him. This was a day he would never forget, he thought excitedly.

The dawn dragon’s head suddenly became still, its eyes fixed on a point further down the valley. Had it spotted prey? Elian risked raising his head slightly to see if he could pick out what the dragon was looking at, but whatever it had seen appeared to be shielded from his sight by a stand of trees some way along the base of the valley.

Slowly, like a cat preparing to pounce, the dragon’s muscles began to bunch and its wings raised, still only partially extended. Then with a great roaring cry that momentarily froze Elian’s heart in his chest, the beautiful creature exploded into the air, its wings snapping forward and out to their full span.

Elian gasped. He could not help it. The dragon’s wings from tip to tip must be a full fifty paces he marvelled as the enormous creature’s first great downstroke powered it forward and upwards with a terrific whoosh of displaced air. One further great stroke and the dragon entered a glide that carried it forward at a surprising speed. Just when Elian thought it would surely crash into the ground, the dragon suddenly adjusted the angle of its wings to generate more lift. At the same time it raised its great taloned feet into a forward attack, disappearing behind the stand of trees as it struck its target.

There was another ululating roar, this time sounding with a more triumphant note, followed by silence as the dragon began to feed.

‘Wow!’ Elian breathed. ‘That was amazing! She’s so beautiful.’

Elian did not know how he knew the dragon was a female. It was instinctive. There was something about the way she moved - an elegance and grace that simply denied the possibility that she could be anything but feminine.

I wonder if I could get a closer look, he thought.

It was madness really. The dragon was feeding. What sane person would choose to get close to a hungry dragon? Elian knew it was anything but sensible, but he could not help himself. He felt strangely drawn, partially by curiosity and partially by something indefinable – almost like a mental tug.

Slowly, despite any misgivings, Elian climbed to his feet and began to walk down into the valley.

Once he had taken the first two or three reluctant steps forward, Elian began to feel as if he had lost control of his feet. A compulsion to run started the acceleration, the downhill slope adding momentum until his body threatened to overtake his legs. Before he knew it, he was hurtling down into the Haleen valley with all thoughts of stealthy movement gone.

In his mind, he justified the speed of his descent by telling himself that if he reached the near side of the woods before the dragon finished feeding, he would be able to creep through the trees to a concealed vantage point. From there, he would be able to view her in relative safety. He repeated the plan over and over in his head as he ran, determined to make it work. When he reached the edge of the wood, however, things did not quite work out the way he envisioned.

Chest heaving from the running and desperately trying to keep his panting as quiet as he could, Elian entered the trees. There were some bushes and ferns growing between the tree trunks, but for the large part the woods offered sparse cover. The stand of trees was only a few hundred yards wide at most, so he had hardly entered the upper edge of the wood before he could see the orange/gold colour of the dragon ahead. The glowing colour mesmerised him with tantalising thoughts. There was no turning back now. Elian felt an overwhelming desire to see more. Flitting from tree trunk to tree trunk, he pressed forward.

It was strange, for he did not feel afraid. He knew he should be terrified, yet he simply felt curiosity and a weird premonition that this encounter would end well. He did not know where his certainty came from, but he knew that it was not his fate to die today. There was something more.

A particularly large tree trunk stood like a timeless pillar a few yards ahead. Elian darted forward to take advantage of the cover it offered and peeped around the edge. The dragon was curled in a semi-circle, chewing gently with her face towards the forest. He ducked quickly back behind the tree, as he suddenly realised that she was looking straight at him, her great eyes sparkling.

The sound of laughter filled his mind - gentle, friendly, female laughter. Elian shook his head slightly and looked around amongst the trees in surprise. The laughter intensified slightly before slowly dying away.

‘Come to me, Elian. I’ve been waiting for you.’

‘Was his mind playing tricks on him, or had the dragon really just communicated with him?’ Elian wondered. His breath caught in his throat. ‘Could a dragon do that?’

‘Yes, I can,’ the voice said gently within his mind. ‘Now come. I have waited a long time for this moment.’

Elian released his breath slowly and took another. Emotion roiled through him, twisting and tightening his gut like wool being wound into a ball. Slowly, he moved his head once more to peep around the tree. The dragon was still staring straight at him.

‘That’s it, Elian. Come out. I promise I won’t bite,’ the dragon let out a little snort through her nostrils and Elian could feel her amusement at that pledge. The strange thing was that the touch on his mind did not feel alien. It was familiar somehow, yet that made no sense. He had seen a day dragon flying once, far off in the distance, but aside from that he had never encountered any of their kind before. How could he possibly feel such trust for this great creature? Or was this a part of their power?

He knew it was possible that he was being deceived, but his instincts told him he could trust her. Rather than give his mind a chance to overcome his intuition, Elian decided to act. With a bravery he did not feel, he stepped smartly out from behind the tree and met the dragon’s gaze full on. He paused for just a moment and then walked forward towards the edge of the woods.

Great eyes of amber watched him. The dragon was even more beautiful close up. Her body was sleek and streamlined, her rows of scales even and shining with a golden orange lustre. Her triangular wedge-shaped head had subtle curves displaying something of her femininity that all her horns and back ridges could not dispel. She was everything that Elian had imagined a dragon would be, and more.

‘Why thank you, Elian. You are very kind with your thoughts. I have tried to keep myself in shape over the centuries. It is good to meet you at last.’

‘I can hear you in my head,’ Elian responded aloud as he reached the edge of the trees and stopped. ‘Can you understand me if I speak?’

‘I can,’ the dragon’s voice said inside his head. ‘Your mind echoes with the noises you make with your mouth. It is unnecessary to speak aloud, but if you are more comfortable with this, I understand. It takes practise to discipline your thoughts. I can see that you are brimming with questions, but it would be remiss of me if I did not at least introduce myself first. Elian, I am Ryshell, your dragon.’
 
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I'd be honored and happy to proofread for you! From the bits you've posted of this story, I can see that it will be a very entertaining one - which makes proofreading fun.
 
More more more!!!! I need more!!! Can't wait to read the finished thing. I love dragon stories and yours has me hooked already. Thank you for sharing with me. :)
 
I'm hooked too, you big tease!;):p:D

...and terribly jealous of dwndrgn too.;)
 
erickad71 said:
I'm hooked too, you big tease!;):p:D

...and terribly jealous of dwndrgn too.;)
I'll need more than one proof reader, erika, but what I don't want to do is put too much on the web. It's an area that I've been lacking up until recently. I've got good proof readers for English language. What I really need is storyline critics, those who will question everything and point out inconsistencies in characterisation and plot. If you think you can do that, you're hired!:)
 
I've never done anything like that before, I don't know if I would be any good at it. I would love to give it a try though.:D
 
Hi Mark,

Great stuff mate! Dragon stories per se have never really been my 'bag' but, needless to say, I'm a sucker for a rollicking ripping yarn!

What makes this so cool is how easily it scans;there's no snaggy. uncomfortable elements to your style, and that's a rare thing in the un-published writer - and many published authors I might add.

It's hard to comment on story-line inconsistencies from such a small segment, but I do appreciate your thinking in keeping the thing off the net. For my part, I'm posting what might be considered huge portions of stuff, but it's all relative and in fact what I have posted is a drop in the ocean considering the finished work will be a trilogy, and is mapping out to be a huge piece!

Anyway, I really like this from every perspective, style, content, you name it.

Keep it up Mark and hopefully we'll be seeing you on the bookshelves soon...
 
My apologies Mark - having just perused another thread of yours, I now realise you are published. And rightly so! Just put it down to a newbie leaping into a thread before he looked.

Good luck with everything Mark, though I doubt you'll need it. It's great to see someone succeeding in this minefiled!

For my part, I've only just startded thinking about agents/publishers etc and don't have a clue where to start. Wish me luck - I WILL need it. Bags of the stuff!
 
Captain, I just got interrupted whilst reading through your latest series of posts and noticed this when I re-entered. Thanks for your endorsements. My style was always designed to be easy to read and not overly detailed. My main audience is teenage, so whilst I would like to tackle something more serious, the simple style of writing is what comes naturally.

I'm finding that I'm enjoying your work as well, though I judge it is more for the hardened fantasy fan rather than for someone dipping into the genre. I'll post a few comments when I finish reading through, though from what I've seen so far, there is little technically wrong with the writing. :)

As you might have noticed, this was originally written to amuse one of the longer standing members of this forum. My own feelings on dragon stories were that they had been overdone. I was struggling to think of any new slants to put on them, but as I wrote this short story, ideas started leaping out at me in droves. I'm now quite taken with the idea of turning this into a book - I'm certain to have at least one reader in Dwndrgn! ;)
 
Make it three. I may not be the greatest of writers, but I can tell you as a teen myself the audience you said you were targeting will love it...I myself have wondered what it would be like to have a wonderful 'pet' like a dragon. If you decide to post more I will be awaiting the rest of the story with enthusiastic anticipation.
 
Daeman said:
Make it three. I may not be the greatest of writers, but I can tell you as a teen myself the audience you said you were targeting will love it...I myself have wondered what it would be like to have a wonderful 'pet' like a dragon. If you decide to post more I will be awaiting the rest of the story with enthusiastic anticipation.
Thanks, Daeman and Captain, for the feedback.

If you think that Ryshell is going to be a pet for Elian, I think you're in for a bit of a surprise, Daeman! The concept that I'm working on in this case is that each dragon is born with a purpose. The culmination of their struggle to achieve that purpose is tied in with a pre-destined human rider. Dragons instinctively know when their riders are born and seek out the rider when he/she is old enough. Each dragon only ever has one partner. Not all dragons achieve their purpose. Not all dragonriders survive to ride their dragons! Dragons live to strive, but not all succeed. There are no guarantees here... this is no Eragon!

I thought I would also work on a gender link between dragon and rider. So a female dragon will have a male rider and vice versa. This could make for some interesting dynamics between both dragon and rider, and between the various dragonriders. Thoughts? Suggestions? I'd be happy to listen to ideas on where people would like to see this go, as it's early days for the plot line. :)
 
Hi Mark, just a couple of questions, then I may be able to offer some suggestions re your previous post.

Are the 'dark dragons' gonna be the 'bad lads' of the piece? Or is it less clear cut than that?

Is there any animosity between the various types of dragon?

If they are born for a purpose - and I'm not trying to get all metaphysical on you here! - does this preclude the dragons 'freewill'? Or is their individual purpose less specific than that?
 
captaintripps said:
Hi Mark, just a couple of questions, then I may be able to offer some suggestions re your previous post.

Are the 'dark dragons' gonna be the 'bad lads' of the piece? Or is it less clear cut than that?

Is there any animosity between the various types of dragon?

If they are born for a purpose - and I'm not trying to get all metaphysical on you here! - does this preclude the dragons 'freewill'? Or is their individual purpose less specific than that?
Good questions, all. The night dragons will generally, but not exclusively be the bad lads, yes. There will be a natural divide between the day and night dragons, with the dawn and dusk dragons being the neutral parties. There will be a natural disharmony between the dragons of day and night, so there will be a certain amount of animosity that will go with it.

I'm not going to preclude freewill, but the dragon's natural urges will push them towards certain goals. These goals will not necessarily be shared by the riders, though they will feel the urges through the telepathic link. This will potentially cause conflicts. The rider/dragon partnership will therefore not necessarily be the totally harmonious relationship seen in many other dragon stories.
 
Wow, you've already got the makings of an entire novel here. I really like the idea of the dragons being more like another character, then a legendary creature. The relationship between dragon and rider is unique and I hope to see more of the story soon.
 
Disharmony, that's my kind of word!
Seriously though, I think having the kind of relationship you describe opens up much greater possibilities for character development, sub-plots etc than a harmonious, utopian boy/girl-dragon liason.
I'd suggest the same goes for the dragon/rider not necessarily sharing the desire to fulfill the 'purpose'.
Also, the fact that there is the telepathic element opens numerous narrative possibilities - will this be a 'thought by thought' telepathy or more of an inexact science, where the pair with get a 'sense' of one anothers thoughts/emotions but no specifics?
 
As in the piece above, the dragon can 'speak' clearly with his/her rider by thought, but can understand the spoken word, as the words are echoed by the speaker's mind. I haven't decided yet whether the dragon will be able to hear people's thoughts other than their own rider... probably not.

EDIT: The dragon should still be able to understand other humans providing that their rider is listening to the same conversation, as they would be able to 'read' the words as its rider heard them. However, if the rider were unconscious, it would preclude the dragon from understanding, or communicating with others. This could make for some very interesting situations.
 
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Hi Mark, sorry about that. You do, of course, make it evident in your prologue that the dragon can 'hear' her rider's thoughts; forgive me.
I'd be tempted to go with the idea that they can hear only their specific rider's thoughts, as I feel this would enhance the 'uniqueness' of their relationship.


"EDIT: The dragon should still be able to understand other humans providing that their rider is listening to the same conversation, as they would be able to 'read' the words as its rider heard them. However, if the rider were unconscious, it would preclude the dragon from understanding, or communicating with others. This could make for some very interesting situations."

I think this is areally good call. Like you say, the possibilities are endless if this is the case...
 

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