The Continuous Story

Cecily stood there for a very long time................................................................. Since Sept 4th to be exact, then she spoke....................


"Alien dad. Whatever do you mean?

My darling Cecily not long after you and your sister were born I was kidnapped and forced into service with the foreign legion. I was gone for many many years, infact I only got back last week.

Your mother always had a thing for foreign men, hence her latest boyfriend Raoul. I was able to contact her after I had been away for a year and explain where I was but she told me not to come back as she had meet someone who loved her and was willing to raise you both as his own. He was some Mexican she had meet on a weekend binge drinking in Tijauana. He needed to get into America and she needed some new eye candy, so they hooked up.

What could I do? I didn't know if I would ever be able to get back to my family, so I had to let you go, forget about you as best I could. Until a couple of weeks ago when they finally let me go. So now I am back.......

Cecily coughed as the fly tickled the back of her throat.......................
 
" The thing is Cecily" said her father "I have to go away again and I thought maybe you'd like to come with me, I know things are not so good for you here, so what do you say?"

"Away where? " asked Cecily

Well I befriended a rather wealthy man who had also been kidnapped and we were both released, anyway the thing is he was very sick and left me as his heir. He left all property and a small fortune to me. So I am now officially Lord Blanchet, `15th in a long line of Lord Blanchets. So what do you say Cecily, what to be a Lady and daughter to a Lord?

"Sounds a whole lot better than what I have her, why not" announced Cecliy

"Then lets get going" said her father
 
"So what are our ancestral lands like?" asked Cecily breathlessly.

"No idea, but they are in Britain, so I'm expecting a thatched castle and lots of rain at the very least."

"And how will we get there?" Cecily found it hard to contain her excitement. In her minds eye, she was already the Young Lady Blanchet, swanning around the billiards room in a fox fur stole, giving orders to the serving wenches and clouting Colonel Mustard around the head with a piece of lead piping.

"In my spaceship, of course!" Cecily's newest father pointed gleefully at his gleaming craft.

"Alien Dad - you do know that's a shopping trolley, don't you?"

"Shopping trolley? She'd do the Kessel Run in less than seven parsecs!"

"No, Alien Dad. Really. It's a shopping trolley. With some cardboard wings stuck onto the side. How will this get us anywhere?"
 
It was about this time that Cecily started to realise that her father might not be "all there"

That maybe he wasn't really Lord Blanchett and couldn't save her from the realities of her current life.

"Actually Dad I've changed my mind, I think maybe I had best turn myself into the police and take my punishment" said Cecily.

"Well Cecily thats very admirable of you" Tell you what, I'll go ahead and get your room all sorted out, get the maids to open up the Blue room, give it a bit of a spruce up and you join me later"

"Sounds good Dad" answered Cecily.

Cecliy's father lept into the shopping trolly and miracelously it took of an vanished within seconds....................

"Darn" said Cecily
 
The shopping trolley was the latest WLK1278sOF model and vrrrooommmed across the ether. Cecily's dad grinned. Elation and exuberance crossed his rugged face. He turned warily to the cardboard wings hoping they would stand up to the pace. Depressing the accelerator he felt the trolley buck and shoot forward.

The police station was down there...somewhere. Aha...there!

Poor dad, if only he realised the blue box he had spotted below wasn't really a police box it was...
 
A blue truck with its wheels removed by vandals. Cecily's dad slammed into the side of the truck, its wings falling off in the process.... Darn now he would just have to travel like everyone else until he could fix the shopping trolley.

Meanwhile....... On the other side of town.

Cecily walked despondently back up the beach to the car park. She noticed that the kiosk was just opening and checked in her pockets for loose change, what she needed was a strong coffee.
Cecily ordered and paid for her coffee and sat down to think about what to do next....
 
For nine long days Cecily sat and thought. Her coffee ran out after 20 minutes but she couldn't be bothered to get a refill. She relied on rain for drinking water and at one point caught an adventurous seagull that had wandered too close. Plucking it had been a b**ch but it had actually been quite tasty.

On the evening of the ninth day she had a flash of inspiration. All she needed now was a shopping trolley and a large piece of cardboard.
 
Chapter 4
Meanwhile, Cecily's dad was busy fixing the trolley, but it wasn't working.

"For this job, I need help."

That's when he called up his long time ally Frankie the midget, who had been following Cecily and working deep undercover for some time.

But, Frankie was in trouble...
 
He'd drunk too much, and where were the toilets?!


*he crossed his legs*
 
I mean sitting watching someone for nine days was actually "hard work"
Frankie thought to himself
"This woman is a loopy one" But a darn attractive loopy one and even though she smelled after nine days, it was nothing a good long hot shower couldn't fix.

Sadly for Frankie whilst he was dreaming of Cecily in the shower, she actually got up and walked away.....................
 
Frankie jumped up and span around as he searched for Cecily. His mobile rang in his pocket and he irritably retrieved it and punched the little green button.

"Frankie," Frankie said.

"It's Lo.. Bl..chett," Lord Blanchett crackled, "... need .... bring ... urgent ... ar*e ..."

"Look I can't understand a word you're saying and now's not the time anyway. I'll call you when I've got good reception," and with that Frankie hung up.

"Oy, you idiot," a voice hailed Frankie from behind. Frankie turned around to see a large blue police box not thirty yards away and Lord Blanchett waving at him next to what looked like a shopping trolley with cardboard wings, "over here Frankie. I need your help."

Frankie looked longingly at the police box. Maybe the door was open and if it was then it'd make a great toilet. His mind set, Frankie strode towards relief.
 
"I'd love to help Lord Blanchett but I have a rather urgent problem to relieve"!

"For goodness sake man, can't you wait"? When I was in the foreign legion we often had to go weeks without a break?" Where is you fortitude, your backbone!!!!!!!????????? replied Lord Blanchett (aka Cecily's father) There's a couple of sanddunes over there, but be quick about it, I need you help!

Frankie dashed off behind the sand dunes............................................. never to be seen again!!!!!
 
"How typical of the bloody lower orders!" muttered Lord Blanchett. "They ask for a comfort break and you never see 'em again. If you ask me, it all went downhill when the damned Whigs gave 'em the vote. The blighters were happy doing piece-work in the cotton mills for a shilling a week and then up pops some Johnny-come-lately to fill their heads full of unsound notions like universal suffrage and the rights of man! As a result of which, god-fearing alien peers of the realm have to fix their own damned spaceships!"

Lord Blanchett looked at the wreckage. The plastic child seat was split and, worse still, the wonky wheel was now running true. One of the cardboard wings had fallen into a puddle and was turning to pulp whilst the other was filling a new role as a part-time dog toilet. But Lord Blanchett knew how to deal with these sorts of problems.

"Aha! If I reconnect the spangthroogle to the Ultima Drive, thereby bypassing the Esolium GX7 reactor in the core, the Hyfar XXX crystals might short out, firing up the auxiliary drive in the process!"

To bring this about, Lord Blanchett gave the side of the trolley a clout with his hammer.

It fell over.
 
Lord Blanchett's true origins shone through as a barrage of expletives and obscenities belched forth from his mouth at the wrecked craft. He threw his hammer at it and it rebounded off the cage to land smartly on his toe. More curses errupted forth.

The door to the blue police box opened.

"Will you shut the **** up. Some of us are trying to sleep."

The blue door slammed shut. Lord Blanchett glared hard at it.

"Dad, Dad. Is that really you?"

Lord Blanchett wheeled around to see his daughter running up the street towards him pushing a shopping trolley containing a large, flattened cardboard box.
 
"Oh Dad I thought I'd never see you again" sighed Cecliy.

I've changed my mind, I'd love to come back to England with you and be Lady Blanchett or whatever it is I I can be called"

"Well there could be a small setback there Cecliy dear, as you can see my mode of travel has had a slight accident"

"Oh dad, your alright thought!" exclaimed Cecily.

"Yes fine dear" replied Lord Blanchett.

"Its ok Dad we could just get a plane, couldn't we?"

"Well there is a small problem" replied Cecily's father.

"What"? asked Cecily....................
 
Lord Blanchett stared Cecily hard in the face and curtly replied. 'Cecily dear, I wasted all of you're inheritance in cheap brothels." An expression of disdain overtook Cecily at this.
'Well daddy, we could ask that kind man in the corner'
Lord Blanchett pivoted his delicate neck to the street corner, catching in full the gleam of red eyes concealed beneath a pie hat and full-body trenchcoat. Lord Blanchett knew who this was, and even though he was apalled of the man's appearance he knew there was even worse beneath the coat. Amidst this the most prevalent thought coursing through Lord Blanchett's mind voiced it's concerns over and over. 'I wonder if the devil has come to collect his due. Is this my end? Does he want my daughter?'. Lord Blanchett's stately visage now dripped with rivulets of cold sweat.
 
"Alien dad, why is he beckoning you with a single, bony finger? Perhaps he wants to give us some money for a plane ticket. Go and talk to him!"

"My dear Cecily. He has no interest in offering us an attractive, low-interest loan or helping us consolidate our debts into one, easy monthly payment. His interests lie in pulling my head off, sucking up my soul and then disgorging it into the flaming pits of damnation for a brief eternity or two of hellfire and brimstone with a healthy amount of wailing and gnashing of teeth thrown in for good measure."

"Don't be ridiculous, Alien Daddy!" said Cecily. "Why would he want to do such a thing? Just because he has a forked tail and eyes that speak of a million souls in torment hardly means that he is a bad egg. You shouldn't judge people by their appearances."

"Well, after I blew the family fortune on "thru'penny uprights" and three legged race horses, I met this chap at a crossroads. He said something about ten years of being a peer of the realm and something else about hellhounds and eternal perdition, but to be honest I was completely smashed at the time and I just went along with it."

"So what do we do?" asked Cecily.

"Are you any good at running?", asked Alien Dad, his face heavy with concern.

"No - I've got a funny knee."

"Bad luck!" Alien Dad's words floated back down the street as Cecily watched him turn the corner.
 
"Wait! Come back.." the hooded being on the corner shouted in a surprisingly human voice but Lord Blanchett had gone. The being threw back its hood and Cecily gasped as she gazed on the demon beneath.

"You...you're Tony Blair aren't you?"

"Yes."

"But..but what do you want with my father?"

"Oh, it's simple. I sold him a peerage of the realm in order for his support in the next British (for those unfamiliar with Blair) elections. And now I need him to fulfill his end of the bargain. Well some you win, some you lose."

With that Tony turned around and disappeared around the corner.

Cecily stood dumbstruck in the street. She didn't notice the door to the blue police box next to her open a fraction.
 
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