What the movies have taught me

[The_Warrior]

Here's a list of all the things (**Coughcliches**Cough**) the movies tuaght me.



When you run away from a creppy killer with somthing on his face, you will trip and fall to make it more 'scary'.


When there is some big monster or tidle wave behind you, you can still look in back of you long enough for it to get you, but still get away safly.



Usallly when people call the phone; they don't say hello, and don't say good bye.


When some one is running, there is usally a camra on a dolly and some one pushing it.



THIS LIST CAN GO ON IF OTHERS WILL CONTINUE WITH IT.

 

[Foxbat]

I've always wanted to make a film where the hero hears a sound in the attic and decides to investigate but - at the last minute - has second thoughts, gets in his car and drives away -never to return...The End.

It would be as pretty short film but far more realistic than a lot of the cliched tripe we are served on a regular basis

 

[Locksmith]

With apologies to Eddie Izzard for stealing his idea:

James Bond will always have just the right gadgets for the tricky situations he gets into. You never see him at the end saying "Q, there was a lot of stuff I didn't use..."

 

[Maxwell Jennison]

When someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!

But if they ask you if you're Sarah Connor, say no.

 

[tangaloomababe]

Originally posted by Maxwell Jennison

But if they ask you if you're Sarah Connor, say no.

LOL!!!

I have decided that I must be using the wrong makeup, particuarly mascarra. In the movies it never runs or smudges, even when its raining and how come my hair never looks that good when I first wake up?

 

[Winters_Sorrow]

The movies have taught me the following:

All [y] tasks can be completed in a single day, assuming a cheesy 80s tune can be played on a ghetto-blaster and you have [x] number of wacky friends, outcast by the rest of society, to help you. Despite none of you having any actual skill or experience in carpentry, plastering, electronics etc.

* Where [y] is a house, [x] must equal 3 or more

Computer whizzkids can hack into any computer system, no matter how heavily encrypted, in a few minutes, hours at most.

If it's a million to one shot, it's bound to work 99% of the time

When being pursued by a killer, the police station is less safe than a closet in your bedroom.

Oh, and if you have sex you die. But graphic violence is a-ok.

 

[Overread]

That if you ever want to survive the scream films really do contain all the rules of horror films

 

[roddglenn]

If you're called John MacLane you really are in the wrong place at the wrong time EVERY TIME.

Sophisticated robots sent back in time from the future tend to prefer leathers and like to ride Harleys.

Archeologists carry guns and whips and never lose their hats.

 

[HoopyFrood]

If you say "I'll be right back" you're going to die.
If you say "Everything's fine" you're going to die.
If you say "Look, perfectly safe" you're going to die.

The first one to venture into the scary forest/graveyard/building/etc if going to be the first one to die.

People always run upstairs when pursued by the evil killer person/thing...where they inevitably lock themselves into a room and get cornered.

Whenever something sad happens, or there's a funeral, it starts to rain (good old pathetic fallacy).

The good guy/gal can dodge a thousand bullets, but can take out an entire room of nondescript henchpersons with about six bullets.

The bad guy is never dead the first time round...he'll always grab your leg or pop back up for one final showdown.

 

[Locksmith]

If you're a soldier, never express how much you're looking forward to getting back to see your wife and kids. You wont.

 

[dustinzgirl]

Women must be super intelligent, super hot, and super cold to be super heroes.

Men just have to have a gun and make smart ass comments.

 

[Majimaune]

Thats all pretty true.

Say "Die bitch" while killing something and it will die in a dramatic way.

You will always run out of bullets and find more in the most unlikely places.

Main character, generally a loser.

 

[Soggyfox]

all motor vehicles are equal, you can't out run an articulated lorry with a motor bike and no matter how 'suped' up your ferrari is, you can't outrun a police car.

guns don't have limited ammunition, you just keep firing away, no problems.

never wear red in a star trek movie.

 

[Majimaune]

Never seen Star Trek so I'm good.

Good friend often dies.

 

[Connavar]

Women must be super intelligent, super hot, and super cold to be super heroes.

Men just have to have a gun and make smart ass comments.

Hehe soo true !

 

[Stone]

never to cross the streams and never walk into the light. However, always stay on the path, follow the white rabbit and put down the bunny when told to

 

[Majimaune]

I thought so too I just didn't say it.

 

[The_Warrior]

Dosen't Hitcock always has those ackward introdutctions at the begining of his movies?

 

[Soggyfox]

it doesn't matter how big your galaxy spanning empire is, you will be bought down by a bunch of teddy bears.

 

[Majimaune]

Yep a bunch of teddy bear look-a-likes at least.