What the movies have taught me

[The_Warrior]

You know Willow,The Lepurcaun, that robot thing, and the Drof in CON was the little baby looking one in that.

 

[The Ace]

Laser beams can be any colour, but both parties must agree which to use beforehand so the audience can tell friend from foe.

(Anyone believing laser beams are invisible has obviously spent too long at school.)

Only baddies suffer 'Friendly fire.'

 

[Pyan]

If you're the Hero, and you're captured by the Arch-Villain, don't worry. He won't kill you at once, but leave you strapped in some sort of automated killing-machine, while he goes off to do something vital. This will give you ample time to escape...

 

[Talysia]

never wear red in a star trek movie.

Seemingly so true!

 

[Majimaune]

If you're the Hero, and you're captured by the Arch-Villain, don't worry. He won't kill you at once, but leave you strapped in some sort of automated killing-machine, while he goes off to do something vital. This will give you ample time to escape...

That or there is always a vital flaw in the Arch-villain's way to kill you so you can somehow escape that way.

 

[Talysia]

Not to mention they almost always divulge their dastardly plan just before they leave...

 

[Majimaune]

Mmm I forgot that the villain tells the hero everything. So stupid if you ask me. Why can't there be a smart villain for once?

 

[Pyan]

I think it's been posted before, but for those that haven't seen it....

Peter's Evil Overlord List

 

[Majimaune]

Haven't seen that before and like it.

 

[Talysia]

Ah, I'd completely forgotten about that list. Some absolute gems on it.

 

[Majimaune]

Yeah I agree. Love the last one.

 

[Quokka]

If you need to find someone, particuarly someone you don't know and even more so if it's someone you don't even know that you need to know, then head off in any random direction confident in the fact that you will bump into them with minutes to spare.

 

[tangaloomababe]

If your a female and you happen to meet James Bond 007, DON'T FIGHT IT!!! he always gets his woman!

 

[Majimaune]

Mmmm thats true Tanga. Sometimes I wish I was James Bond...

 

[Aerandir]

If your a cop and it is your last day before retirement you will end up in at least one high speed chase, one shooting, and it will usually be because of some young punk cop who breaks all the rules.

If you tell the main character too much about yourself to get the audience to feel for you, you will die before the end of the movie.

If your on the Star ship enterprise and have been chosen to accompany the main characters on a mission and you wearing red....your dead.

Quit while your ahead. If you tell a funny joke and get a laugh don't wear it into the dirt. It was only funny the first two times you said it.

Die Hard
Indian Jones
Rocky
Friday the 13th
Nightmare on Elmstreet

 

[Talysia]

One thing I have noticed from growing up watching old black and white war films (Mum used to watch lots of them) is that if you're a fresh-faced young pilot/soldier, talking about how you're going to marry your sweetheart and live in a beautiful house, in a beautiful part of the country and grow old together, then you probably won't come back from the war at all. I've seen that one quite a few times.

 

[bruno-1012]

All bombs are made with the same colour of wires every time - 'cut the red one!'

 

[dustinzgirl]

If you think there is someone in the house there always is. Get out. Don't stop running. Or you will DIE!

Hiding never works. That idiot blond with the fake boobs will be sniveling and crying or the stoner idiot kid will have to cough, or the nerd will sneeze. You will all DIE!

If a child kills his pets, doesn't give hugs, doesn't talk, goes through nanny's like I change my undergarments, and can disappear and reappear at will or just generally creeps you out, it is the son of Satan. Drop him (or her, in the case of The Bad Seed) off at the local circus and wash your hands of the devil child, or you will DIE!

Just because someone talks the talk doesn't mean they can walk the walk. Don't hang out with the loud, rude, jock/bully/stoner or you will DIE!

Do not, under any circumstances, ever, ever, go camping with teenagers. Or you will DIE! (this is true whether or not its a horror flick, have any of you been camping with teenagers? its freaking insane.)

Your car will not work. Then engine has been melted, the bad guy has the keys, the tires slashed, or you will be to freaked out to remember how to start the dang thing. Don't go to your car or you will DIE!

The rare female killer is overly nice, sweet, innocent and nobody knows her past. She will also be highly intelligent and sexy. She will not have a boyfriend. You will want to be her boyfriend. Do not date her or you will DIE!

 

[tangaloomababe]

Gees Dusty I didn't realize just how dangerous movies can be. There is alot of dying, its probably best to relocate to a remote uninhabited forest, but then again a hairy guy with a grizzly bear will probably just annoy you

 

[dustinzgirl]

Gees Dusty I didn't realize just how dangerous movies can be. There is alot of dying, its probably best to relocate to a remote uninhabited forest, but then again a hairy guy with a grizzly bear will probably just annoy you

Speaking of, if you happen to be in a deserted forest area or other desert area or city area that has no people, or the people you are with are disappearing, do not assume they are all just goofing around or out making babies. Get away as fast as you can. Or you will DIE!

If you happen to come across an animal or human remains that looks as though it died horribly, for instance big boils, peeling fur and skin, blisters, weapon marks, do not hang around or touch the dead thing. Or you will DIE!