Geoff's Writting Attempts

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Negetives are good, they help you to build on your work and expand your writing style I find.


I'm sorry, you're right... I just meant that you shouldn't let it discourage you like I do... :(
20 people can tell me they like my book... but if 1 says they don't, well... you see what I mean...

That's really not the way to be, because it may hinder your natural writing skills (or mine, I should say)...

I like your attitude though... you see the positive in negativity, and that's great!:D
 
There were flames spreading all around, blocking the doorways. We were trapped. I could feel the heat from the fires and I could see the creatures beyond who
had
started them. They were horrible and deformed
comma
with large milky white eyes from being in dark places for too long. Thats
that's
evolution for you there, I thought.

One of my party started towards the flames.

"Get back," I yelled
comma
but it fell on deaf ears. The man was half mad with thirst for we have
had
been trapped in the caverns for days on end. All he wanted was for his life to end. Stumbling
comma
he fell into the flames. A great cry was heard as he burned.
passive mood
The smell of roasting flesh filled the air except
that
it was a sticky sweat
sweet (I think)
smell that none of us could handle. All retched at the smell of our burning comrade.

The air started to become thick with smoke and what oxygen
whatever oxygen was left in the air
left in the air was too little. I coughed. We couldn't last much longer in this room. No chance of survival. I coughed again, this time not the only one to do so. I couldn't breathe. My brain screamed for more air but there was none to be had. I colapsed
collapsed
in a heap, never to rise again.





People please comment.
 
With being frustrated... I sure do!

I don't know if people tell you this (in case you are getting sick of hearing it), but it will get better... :)
I know it will, already has a bit :)

Thanks Chris for all the corrections. I'll be sure to edit them in :)
 
Its been a while since I put some more of my poetry on here so here is some more.

Complicated

Things spinning around me,
Too complicated to understand.
Messing with my mind,
Trying to wreck me.

Your holding me steady,
Just the thought of you makes me stronger
Holding your hand,
Is worth life infinity

Complicated II

The heart doesn't break,
It falls into darkness.

Disrepair,
Makes great damage
To the mind,
To the body,
To those around.

I promised myself
That I would not go down that path
But it seems to late now.

You apologised
I apologised
I accepted yours
Just think of how I felt
How I feel.

Will time heal all?

Lies II

I'll get there.
I know I will.
Get through the lies
That I created
To make myself feel secure,
Safe.

When will I learn
That saying before thinking
Never works well
Unless it comes from the heart,
Not the brain.

Revenge is fueled by the brain.
Its a stupid thing
I never want it.

Things have just been hard.
And I find myself drowning
In an ocean of lies
Both mine
And those of others.

For Molly

When things go wrong,
Don't look the other way.

Confront your fears.

If all seems black,
And there is no one to turn to.

I will be there,
Waiting to listen.

No matter what happens,
I will always be there.
For you,
For anyone.

I don't want to change that part of me.
I know I like it.
Always wanting to help,
The shoulder to lean on.
I will always be there for you.

Moving On

Its been two weeks
Since that day
Which drove us apart

Thinking
Endless thinking
Of what could have been
What is now

Though now
No more reminiscing
I need to look to the future
And forget about the past.

Memories of Fire

The sun
Reflects of the waters
Lighting it with fire

So brightly it shines
Many reds and yellows
Burnt in my memory
Forever...


Thats just a little bit of what I have written recently. I promise for those who like my work that there will be more coming. If you want to see new stuff almost every day then go to deviantArt. My links are in one of my first posts.
 
Here is a little series of four short poems that I wrote, to express what I am and what I have been going through lately.

I Stand

I stand
Watching the sunset
The colours
Slowly darkening

I see
I see a silhouette
It is walking into the sunset
Away from everything
Away from me.

I Cry

I cry
At night
In the dark
When all is silent.
Just wishing
For Dawn's approach
To come swifter.

My hands
Lie by my side.
My mind,
Thinks of the silhouette
Still walking away.

I Watch

I watch
As the sky lightens,
Thinking of all
That could have been
In the night.

I feel
As though washed
Of all doubt and worry.
As the sun rises.

I Am

I Am
Contented to be myself
As the sun rises higher
And my spirits fly free.

I wait
For the right time and place
When love will come again.
 
Um I will put my poetry, from now on, in the New Poetry Thread so if anyone wants to I don't know, lock this or whatever, it wont be used any more I'm athinking.
 
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