A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegemony.

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Frontierzone

Author, poet, playwright.
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Still around, but not as much.
Hi again. As you can see, I've totally revised my prologue, so this is my second first draft, since the first first draft is null and void, since I'm not going the way of the three POV thing, which was confusing, and Aaahhhh!!!!!




Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegemony.
By Stuart L. Sexton
frontierzone@verizon.net





































Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegemony.



















All characters are fictional, and any resemblance to real persons, either living, dead, Human, Yajeebian, Chun, Shardon, Mordum, or any other life form, are strictly coincidental.
Dedicated to God, The Blessed Virgin Mary, Amy, and to my mom.
Special thanks to all who have helped to proofread this work, including Erica Smith, Rick Dahm, and those at the Chronicles Network.
© 2008-2009 Stuart L. Sexton, all rights reserved.






















Prologue.



A tall, gaunt, corpse-like, ashen skinned male humanoid, with thin stringy black hair and glowing red eyes, stood in the center of a circular chamber, surrounded by similar creatures of both sexes, seated at computer work stations of some sort. Each one of these creatures (including the one standing) was wearing a hooded purple robe with blood red writing on the cuffs of his or her sleeves.

The walls of the chamber were the same shade of purple as their robes, and also sported blood red writing. On one wall of the chamber there was a large Holo-Vid screen, with the view of a large nebula taking up most of it. The nebula seemed to grow in size with the passing of each second. The one standing in the center of the chamber was facing the Holo-Vid screen, with his thin dark grey lips quirked up in a smirk.


He then turned toward the female at his two o’clock position, and said, “*Captain Zilnik. Any sign of enemy space vehicles?”

Her reply was clipped. “No, sir! General, sir!”

“Continue scanning,” said the General.

He seemed to stare at her for longer than should be necessary. As he did so, his eyes glowed all the brighter, and his smirk grew into a lecherous grin.
The General then turned his attention to the male two stations to Captain Zilnik’s right.

“Captain Volkron. Send a report of our progress to Field Marshal Krentz at Base three hundred and eighty one.”

“Sir, yes sir!” the male replied.

Captain Zilnik then addressed the General. “Sir! I have detected an enemy space vehicle. It is what the Humans call a ‘Ticonderoga Class Cruiser’, sir!”

“Are they keeping to their side of the border, Captain?” asked the General.

“Yes, sir,” replied the Captain. “They are patrolling and scanning the border, just one light-year inside their space, sir.”

The General scowled, and then he addressed the female seated at the computer work station facing the Holo-Vid screen.

“Sergeant Markal. Fly us to one light-year distance from the border between our Hegemony and United Systems Alliance space. Maximum speed till we reach our destination, then slow to match the enemy‘s speed. Once we‘re there, we will mirror their patrol pattern.”

“Sir, yes sir!” came the reply.

The view on the Holo-Vid screen shifted, as the nebula seemed to move to the right of the screen, before going completely out of the frame. The scene ahead changed to that of a star field in motion.

Suddenly, the star field went from points of light, seeming to draw nearer to them, to streaks of light, shifting to blue upon approach. They were at their new patrol destination within five minutes, having traveled there at the speed of thirty light-years per day.

Once they began their parallel patrol with the enemy, the General addressed his staff. “Everyone, put up your hoods, I am going to place a visual call to the Commanding Officer of that space vehicle, and I don’t want any of my staff to risk being seen by them. The well being of your souls is my responsibility, and the Chancellor would banish me along with anyone from my staff whose soul was corrupted while serving under me.”

Hoods went up, and the General then nodded to Captain Volkron. “Send the signal, Captain.’

“Sir, yes sir!” came the reply.

The General looked straight at the Holo-Vid screen. “Greetings, United Systems Alliance space vehicle. This is General Malkantz, of the Mordum Hegemony Command Space Vehicle Number one thousand two hundred and fifty-seven. I demand to speak to your Commanding Officer.”

A large bear of a man, with curly brown hair, and deep brown eyes, appeared on the screen. “This is Captain Jacob Amstutz, Commanding Officer of the USS Ticonderoga. With all due respect, General, I think the word ‘demand’ is a bit inappropriate, since both of our ships are keeping within the latest stipulations of the Armistice. Neither you or we have crossed the established border. We, like you, are simply on patrol.”

“Hmph!” snorted General Malkantz. “Who are you, a mere Captain, to remind a General of these things?”

“You forget, General,” Captain Amstutz retorted, “that the United Systems Alliance military not only has three more branches of service than the Mordum Hegemony, but we also have a different ranking system than yours. Technically, if we were to compare our ranks, in our Navy, a Captain would outrank one of you Field Marshals, let alone a mere General.”

“WHAT?!” shouted the General, incredulously.

“However,” continued Captain Amstutz, unfazed by the General’s fit of ill temper. “Since you and I both command vessels that are classified by our Navy as ‘cruisers’, that makes us both ‘cruiser skippers’, and thus, equals in rank.”

“BAH!” shouted General Malkantz. “You are a Human! You hardly qualify as my ‘equal’ in anything!”

Captain Amstutz sighed. “General. Did you have a valid point for hailing me, or did you simply call me to bluster and huff?”

The General let out a sort of snorting laughter. “Very well, Captain Amstutz. Are you sure you are not at least part Mordum? You certainly have the kletchblins to be. I was simply wishing to let you know that we are here, and that we are watching you. Keep to your side, Captain, and there will be no trouble.”

The Captain gave a @#$%-eating grin. “The same to you, General. Amstutz out.”

“Malkantz out,” said the General. At that, the transmission ended.

******************************************

Seated behind the desk of her sea cabin, listening to a recording of the exchange between General Malkantz and Captain Amstutz, was a very attractive female cat-like biped, with tan fur, and wearing a long sleeved black wrap-around tunic over a white blouse with a high, stiff collar, and a white, gold trimmed mortarboard on either shoulder, denoting her rank, (symbolized by a gold curved sword rank pin).

Completing her uniform was a pair of white trousers with one inch thick black piping down the sides (and a specially made hole for her tail to poke through) tucked into immaculately polished patent leather knee-high jackboots. On her hands she wore white gloves, which went up to her wrists. Over her left breast was an impressive display of ribbons. Her weapons belt, which had both her side arm and her curved ceremonial sword, hung from a peg on the wall to her right.

When she heard Captain Amstutz’s retort to General Malkantz’s erroneous statement regarding their respective ranks, she gave out a hissing laugh.

Once the recording had finished playing, she turned off the player, got up from her chair, and put on her weapons belt.

She then went over to the intercom mounted on the wall by her sea cabin door, and touched the key pad.

“Lieutenant Shing’fong, this is Commander To’ying’li. I am on my way to the Command Deck. Li out.”

“Yes, Commander,” came the reply. “Fong out.”

With that, Commander Li exited her sea cabin, and headed toward the Command Deck.
 
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Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

By the way, I also include the following information regarding the Mordum Arm's Ranking system in a footnote, which I forgot to copy and paste. My footnote doesn't include the pips. (Though, like my other book, Frontier Zone. Ticonderoga, I do plan on including illustrations after the epilogue.)

Rank; Insignia;
Enlisted:
Batzik (Private) å
Naksta (Corporal) æ æ
Antrenaksta (Sergeant) æ æ æ
Officers:
Hepitin (Captain) ù
Opurhepitin (Colonel) ù ù
Gruzzurhepitin (General) ù ù ù
Vialtz Gruzzurhepitin (Field Marshal) ù ù ù ù

@#$%-eating grin
I edited this for the purpose of posting here, due to the rules regarding the use of language at the Chonicles Network. In my prologue I use the actual word.
 
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Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

If you want to make this more interesting then start to explain from the General point of view, not from the narrator point-of-view. Stick with his thoughts, senses and observations and use him to explain the settings. There is space for you to use character thoughts to explain the action he is taking, maybe even make him to think about the risks of his operation.
 
Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

If you want to make this more interesting then start to explain from the General point of view, not from the narrator point-of-view. Stick with his thoughts, senses and observations and use him to explain the settings. There is space for you to use character thoughts to explain the action he is taking, maybe even make him to think about the risks of his operation.

But how do I do this and describe things as from a third person narrative pov? I've been told time and again here at the chrons to find a voice, and stick with it. I'm trying to describe the Mordum, but I can't do that from a character pov. I'd have to switch back and forth from an omniscient voice to a character voice. I can get into the character's heads during the main body of the story. Here, I'm introducing a new species, and unless the reader has the role-playing game, using the character voice isn't going to help the reader to envision the Mordum.
 
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Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

But how do I do this and describe things as from a third person narrative pov? Here, I'm introducing a new species, and unless the reader has the role-playing game, using the character voice isn't going to help the reader to envision the Mordum.

I can see your point, but I really wouldn't worry too much about it. You don't have to do everything at once - the book will run for 100,000 words or so, so there is plenty of time to let us know exactly what the Modrum look like when you move (as I suspect you will) to a different character p.o.v.

By way of an example, anyone reading LOTR will take quite a few chapters to fully understand what a hobbit looks like (unless they read all the explanatory stuff first, which I never did). Hairy feet is a defining characteristic, but off the top of my head we are quite a few pages in before this is mentioned. And their small size tends to be conveyed by the fact that other people bend down to talk to them. The book would lose something if it started thus:-

"A group of three foot tall, bipedal humanoids with large, hairy feet, curly hair and a penchant for high Edwardian fashion stood in a field, watching as a marquee was put up in the field behind Bag End, a large house belonging to one of the humanoids which was built in a series of tunnels into The Hill, which was the name given to the hill in which it was built."

I am deliberately exaggerating this to make my point, but you see where I am coming from?

We need to know what the Mordrum look like, but we don't need to know everything about how they look in the first paragraph. Their characterisation is already well-rounded, in that from their dialogue and their reactions to one another (both character p.o.v tricks) we get the impression of an alien race with a strong code of discipline and obedience and a dislike for humans. The odd reference to red eyes flashing, or grey, skeletal hands touching controls is as much else as you would need at this stage. You did this well with the mention of the hoods - another character p.o.v trick that didn't require you to jump into the narration voice.

So, your choice is really between the omniscient narrator or character p.o.v. If you go with the latter, you can pick as many as you like (although I'd be wary of using more than three or four).

Regards,

Peter
 
Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

a Captain would outrank one of you Field Marshals, let alone a mere General.”
your Field Marshals (just to prove I wasn't asleep).

If you're travelling faster than light, would you get Doppler shift on incoming electromagnetic radiation? (
to streaks of light, shifting to blue upon approach.
)

And zero delay over two light years? How fast does this communication/detection system operate (and I warn you in advance, if you say "infinite" it gives a lot of interesting physics reactions I can hold you to in the future. (Rubs hands in anticipation)
 
Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

Chris! Helpful as ever, and much appreciated! The subspace communications in my universe travels at 1 ly/minute, so, oops! There would be a delay! Crud! I hate rewrites! But, it needs to be done.

Peter. I'm no Tolkien. In fact, I'm me. I appreciate the advice, but, quite frankly, critiquing spelling, grammar, or technical points, the way Chris does is one thing, and much needed, but please, when it comes to writing style, let me be me, and Tolkien be Tolkien. I'm tired of trying to please everyone here.

Advice is fine, and I'll always pay attention to any given. And I do appreciate tips on how to polish my style, to smooth out the rough edges. But let's not forget, I am me, and no one else. I will continue to write in my own style. I will never be able to write in Tolkien's style, or anyone else's for that matter, because I'm not them. (To my mind, J.R.R. Tolkien remains the finest author of the Twentieth Century. Others will disagree, because we all have our favorites, but Tolkien is mine.)

My point is, stop trying to remold me to suit you. I can't please everyone, so I'm not going to try. I simply will write, and whatever comes will come. Grammar, spelling, punctuation, et al, that's fine if you wish to correct those things. Suggestions on polishing my style, that's also fine. And, technical scientific points, like the ones Chris brought to light, great. But stop trying to remake ME. To quote the greatest cartoon philosopher of the age; "I yam what I yam, an' that's all what I yam! Ugugugugugug. Oh, garshk!"

I can see your point, but I really wouldn't worry too much about it. You don't have to do everything at once - the book will run for 100,000 words or so, so there is plenty of time to let us know exactly what the Modrum look like when you move (as I suspect you will) to a different character p.o.v.

As to describing the Mordum later, using the pov of other characters, this would be impossible.

Once they began their parallel patrol with the enemy, the General addressed his staff. “Everyone, put up your hoods, I am going to place a visual call to the Commanding Officer of that space vehicle, and I don’t want any of my staff to risk being seen by them. The well being of your souls is my responsibility, and the Chancellor would banish me along with anyone from my staff whose soul was corrupted while serving under me.”

The Mordum won't show their faces to the Humans, since they fear their souls will be corrupted. And it would make no sense to describe the Mordum from another Mordum's pov. From his or her pov, the other Mordum would simply be a male or a female, nothing more.

Oh, by the way, in American English, the word is "mute", not "moot". (Unless there are Ents involved.) In American English, it's the pronunciation that changes, not the spelling.
 
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Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

Chris. How's this? (I'm probably overdoing the delay thing.)


The General looked straight at the Holo-Vid screen. “Greetings, United Systems Alliance space vehicle. This is General Malkantz, of the Mordum Hegemony Command Space Vehicle Number one thousand two hundred and fifty-seven. I demand to speak to your Commanding Officer.”

After a two minute delay, (due to signal lag) a large bear of a man, with curly brown hair, and deep brown eyes, appeared on the screen. “This is Captain Jacob Amstutz, Commanding Officer of the USS Ticonderoga. With all due respect, General, I think the word ‘demand’ is a bit inappropriate, since both of our ships are keeping within the latest stipulations of the Armistice. Neither you or we have crossed the established border. We, like you, are simply on patrol.”

“Hmph!” snorted General Malkantz. “Who are you, a mere Captain, to remind a General of these things?”

“You forget, General,” came Captain Amstutz’s delayed retort, “that the United Systems Alliance military not only has three more branches of service than the Mordum Hegemony, but we also have a different ranking system than yours. Technically, if we were to compare our ranks, in our Navy, a Captain would outrank one of your Field Marshals, let alone a mere General.”

“WHAT?!” shouted the General, incredulously.

“However,” continued Captain Amstutz, unaware of the General’s fit of ill temper. “Since you and I both command vessels that are classified by our Navy as ‘cruisers’, that makes us both ‘cruiser skippers’, and thus, equals in rank.”

“BAH!” shouted General Malkantz. “You are a Human! You hardly qualify as my ‘equal’ in anything!”

Another two minutes later, the image of Captain Amstutz sighed. “General. Did you have a valid point for hailing me, or did you simply call me to bluster and huff?”

The General let out a sort of snorting laughter. “Very well, Captain Amstutz. Are you sure you are not at least part Mordum? You certainly have the kletchblins to be. I was simply wishing to let you know that we are here, and that we are watching you. Keep to your side, Captain, and there will be no trouble.”

The Captain’s image gave a (delayed) sh**-eating grin. “The same to you, General. Amstutz out.”

“Malkantz out,” said the General. At that, the transmission ended.
 
Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

Hi FZ,


Advice is fine, and I'll always pay attention to any given. And I do appreciate tips on how to polish my style, to smooth out the rough edges. But let's not forget, I am me, and no one else. I will continue to write in my own style.

I think perhaps you have misunderstood me. I never said you should try and be Tolkien and I certainly never said you shouldn't be anything other than you. But you specifically asked how to deal with the whole omniscient narrator versus character voice point of view thing. I tried to give you my take on that, as requested. I'm not sure what I've done to upset or annoy you, but I can assure you that upsetting or annoying you was not my intention.


My point is, stop trying to remold me to suit you. I can't please everyone, so I'm not going to try.

I'm not trying to remould you. I was just offering an opinion. This is a critiques board. If someone offers a critique, it doesn't mean that they are telling you what to do. I'm not asking you to please me, or indeed anyone else. Why would I?

I simply will write, and whatever comes will come. Grammar, spelling, punctuation, et al, that's fine if you wish to correct those things.

Fair enough, but if what you really want is a grammar and spelling line edit, just say so when you post.


The Mordum won't show their faces to the Humans, since they fear their souls will be corrupted. And it would make no sense to describe the Mordum from another Mordum's pov. From his or her pov, the other Mordum would simply be a male or a female, nothing more.

Fair enough.

Oh, by the way, in American English, the word is "mute", not "moot". (Unless there are Ents involved.) In American English, it's the pronunciation that changes, not the spelling.

Well, it's definitely spelt "moot" over here, meaning "a point for discussion" rather than "incapable of speech". That is the context I thought you were using, but my apologies if I have got this wrong.

Regards,

Peter
 
Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

Hi FZ,




I think perhaps you have misunderstood me. I never said you should try and be Tolkien and I certainly never said you shouldn't be anything other than you. But you specifically asked how to deal with the whole omniscient narrator versus character voice point of view thing. I tried to give you my take on that, as requested. I'm not sure what I've done to upset or annoy you, but I can assure you that upsetting or annoying you was not my intention.




I'm not trying to remould you. I was just offering an opinion. This is a critiques board. If someone offers a critique, it doesn't mean that they are telling you what to do. I'm not asking you to please me, or indeed anyone else. Why would I?



Fair enough, but if what you really want is a grammar and spelling line edit, just say so when you post.




Fair enough.



Well, it's definitely spelt "moot" over here, meaning "a point for discussion" rather than "incapable of speech". That is the context I thought you were using, but my apologies if I have got this wrong.

Regards,

Peter

Okay, fair enough. Just so we understand one another. And, I don't mind advice on style, really. Just, keep it simple. (Simple mind, you know. No college education, and all that.) As for the mute or moot thing, it's a mute and moot point. (From American to British.)

I did say that I also appreciate corrections of a technical nature, as well as advice on how to polish my style. But, the simpler the better. Okay? *Extends hand in friendship.*
 
Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

By way of an example, anyone reading LOTR will take quite a few chapters to fully understand what a hobbit looks like (unless they read all the explanatory stuff first, which I never did). Hairy feet is a defining characteristic, but off the top of my head we are quite a few pages in before this is mentioned. And their small size tends to be conveyed by the fact that other people bend down to talk to them. The book would lose something if it started thus:-

"A group of three foot tall, bipedal humanoids with large, hairy feet, curly hair and a penchant for high Edwardian fashion stood in a field, watching as a marquee was put up in the field behind Bag End, a large house belonging to one of the humanoids which was built in a series of tunnels into The Hill, which was the name given to the hill in which it was built."
Unless you had first read "The Hobbit", of course, which I've no doubt most people who read LOTR have. That begins:-

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit...."

Not that you don't make a very good point, just not the best example. ;)
 
Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

I did say that I also appreciate corrections of a technical nature, as well as advice on how to polish my style. But, the simpler the better. Okay? *Extends hand in friendship.*

No problem! Glad we've got it sorted. Life's too short and all that!

*shakes hand warmly*

Regards,

Peter
 
Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

Unless you had first read "The Hobbit", of course, which I've no doubt most people who read LOTR have. That begins:-

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit...."

Not that you don't make a very good point, just not the best example. ;)

Curses! In my defence, I'd argue that The Hobbit is a children's book and so follows different rules. I could also argue that in The Hobbit, Tolkien uses a the narrative voice of the narrator speaking out of the book to the reader (he uses character p.o.v in LOTR), so he can get away with it. But, ultimately, you're right!

Regards,

Peter
 
Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

Did anyone here notice my math error, even in the rewrite? Chris, I'm disappointed! There should be a four minute turn-around time for replies. Anyway, I plan to change this a bit, so that the ships are a much shorter distance from the border, such as maybe a few light minutes. That way, communications can seem nearly instantaneous.
 
Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

A tall, gaunt, corpse-like, ashen skinned male humanoid, with thin stringy black hair and glowing red eyes

Well I didn't get any further than this. You have a problem Frontierzone: Your lack of confidence causes you to repeat yourself to make your point clear, when simplicity is a far more potent tool in your language box.

"Corpse-like" covers gaunt and ashen-skinned. Corpses are not likely to have the best-kept hair. 95% of your description is guff, and it's the first line.

Find the most evocative word for what you want to get across, and use it.

Also... Glowing red eyes? Cliché. Especially for corpse-like dudes. Give green a try. Or no eyes at all. Or make him a corpulent corpse-like, marbled and peeling.

Come on. You can do better. I have one of those hunches that says so.
 
Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

Glowing red eye works, especially in evil characters. Glowing yellow, purple or green wouldn't have the same effect on the readers imagination. IMHO.

Note that different colours means different emotions.
 
Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

Glowing red eyes is so, so cliché, ctg. And no editor will take cliché off your hands.

It may work, but it's been done to death. Then it's been resuscitated against its will and done to death again. After that its flattened corpse has been electrocuted into a semblance of life so that it can be flogged a few more times.

Why. Why would you ever, ever actively seek to write cliché? Even cliché for the purpose of spoof is becoming clichéd.
 
Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

Okay, fair enough. Just so we understand one another. And, I don't mind advice on style, really. Just, keep it simple. (Simple mind, you know. No college education, and all that.) As for the mute or moot thing, it's a mute and moot point. (From American to British.)

Just from a technical/grammer point of view; there is no such thing as a 'mute point'. The correct phrase is 'moot point', but somewhere along the line folks made a joke about about a point being mute (myoot) as in silent. Don't know why it caught on, but it is incorrect grammatically.

And don't take everyone's negative critism personally. It is meant to encourage you to keep writing. Just take from critism what you wish and keep working. Writing, writing, writing is what is important and in the long run, if you are satisfied with something, you should feel good about it.
 
Re: A (Hopefully) Much Better Prologue for Frontier Zone. Alliance, Empire, and Hegem

Glowing red eyes is so, so cliché, ctg. And no editor will take cliché off your hands.

It may work, but it's been done to death. Then it's been resuscitated against its will and done to death again. After that its flattened corpse has been electrocuted into a semblance of life so that it can be flogged a few more times.

Why. Why would you ever, ever actively seek to write cliché? Even cliché for the purpose of spoof is becoming clichéd.

There are so many things that are cliché. So many stories are cliché. Writer has to be very, very careful on not writing a cliché, but then again, would you say that Cylons are cliché? Their trademark is a glowing red eye. Would you remove Cylon's glowing eyes?? Or would you remove description from excerpt underneath?

"Sir, I think we are in bit of trouble," Lee said and stopped in the middle of the Maddox Street, between two ruined houses, whose outer walls had partially collapsed on both sides of the street and were now leaning on each other, creating an artificial archway.

"What sort of trouble?" Tom looked ahead of them and saw the largest and meanest looking rats he had ever seen, blocking the street. They were coming out from the cracks on the street and holes on the walls.

Well sir, kind of trouble that raises alarms in my operating system!"

These rats were literally a size of the small dog, but there were other differences to rats of the old ages, as some of the rats had a set of long spikes growing from bald batches on their back. Moreover, there were others carrying more horrible looking mutations. Long curvy canines, pestilence poxes and horribly shaped scarred heads were the most common ones. The one thing what made them same, was the red gleaming eyes, which almost glowed in the shadows of the street.

“What sort of rats those are?”
 
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