Random Challenge 2

[Quokka]

Billy rushed into the lounge just as his father rose to tune in the radio, the rest of the family already crowded around the old Majestic. Squeezing past his uncle he sat at his mother’s feet just as the static cleared.

Welcome back listeners, to tonight’s wrap-up of the 666th Underworld Olympiad and what a night it’s been so far! The women’s triathlon is nearing the end of the second stage, with the Succubus steadily increasing her lead during today’s cycle leg. Still with her weakest discipline still ahead of her, does she have the stamina to bring it home? Well we at Torment Radio will certainly be bringing you the latest news throughout all forty days and nights of the swimming.

In boxing news I’m told the heavyweight division is almost ready to begin, with the last of the contestants almost locked in. There has certainly been plenty of talk around this one, with the current titleholder, Kael reportedly carrying a lot of extra weight into the contest. Who knows three days from now we may just have a new champion escaping? I should mention to any new listeners out there that as stated in U.O. regulations, the silver and bronze medals will be awarded post-humorously.

A quick cross over now to the soul stealing events. We’re hearing that one of the contestants has lodged an appeal….wait the officials have already quashed the appeal. I must say the speed of response shown by all the officials at this Olympiad has….hmmmm……I see……. Ok then. I’m sorry about that delay folks but I’ve just been corrected, it appears that the officials have just quashed the appealer, but then that’s the risk you take with competitive reaping at this level.

I’m being told that one of our field reporters has managed to corner a member of the winning side from today’s team slaughterhouse. So over to the lovely Unspeakable Demon-Spawn.

“Thanks John, I’m here with Ted Bundy. Ted, firstly congratulations, just a fantastic display in there today, you really seem to have upped your artistic component?”

“Yeah thanks, I’m really happy with our result. All the lads worked extremely hard on their body counts in training and I think that showed when we got into the house.”

“So where to from here?”

“Well personally, I’ve got the Three Lower Circles Trophy next year then a short break before we start training for the Apocalypse in 2006, which all the boys are really hyped about.”

“Again congratulations Ted. Back to you John."

"What the?... No!... Stop!”

Nice work Unspeakable Demon-Spawn, you seem to have your hands full there so we’ll move right along with an update from an event that’s always popular, especially with our younger listeners. The seal clubbing begins next week and as you will probably have heard, in an attempt to level the playing field with some of the poorer colonies, the seals can now only carry a restricted choice of firearms plus a new bonus system is in place for clubbing multiple hunters. I must say it really is heartening to see a professional sport nowadays, that’s willing to give its fans the carnage they love.

Ok I think we’re finally ready to cross to the Ice skating….. No I’m sorry listeners, it appears the track is still not frozen. That’s a shame, I know we’ve all been waiting on that one.

Billy continued to listen rapped, dreaming of one day mauling his way to a gold medal.

 

[Alia]

Here's yet another feeble attempt to write a short story under 500 words... I failed miserably.

Immortal
​

Acacia felt a little clumsy in glass 3-inch heels as she walked across a bed of wild flowers. The ground was uneven and soft making the small hike even more difficult. Just as she was about to take another step, a gray snake slithered across her path. Startled, she jumped back clinging tighter to the thin marble tablet against her breast.

“Crap!” She exclaimed, her voice rung out smooth and clear. Pausing long enough for the snake to move a safe distance away, she cringed at the thought of creepy crawly insects and slithering snakes. The hatred inside her sent a cold chill up her back.

Wind rustled the treetops gently brushing her brown hair as her shawl caressed her face. A cool breeze was refreshing in comparison to the hot sun beating down on the garden path. A paradise of colors and scents from brightly colored flowers tickled her senses, and then she saw it. The blue chopper sat in the shade of a tree, just where she had left it.

Acacia placed the tablet down on the black leather seat, stabilizing it with one hand while she cleaned the grass and mud from her shoes with the other. Wind whipped around her, toying with her short dress, but she paid it no mind. There was no one around to see a flash of tanned naked skin, not that she would be embarrassed, she was proud of her firm young body. The sheer and elegant dress only enhanced her beauty.

Acacia picked the tablet up holding it firmly as she mounted the bike. If she had paid more attention to her father’s lessons she would know how to start and ride this motorcycle, but regrets wouldn’t help her now.

Refusing to let inexperience worry her, Acacia turned her attention to the tablet. She rested it against the chrome handles to have a better view of the golden symbols chiseled into the surface and nicked her finger on an unseen object while tracing the unknown language.

Oh how it hurt…

Blood swelled up instantly and she sucked it dry looking down at the tablet wondering what had cut her. Not seeing it, she held up the tablet close to her face trying to make out what it was. An irritating pain came to her hand, but before she could itch it a small black spider scurried onto the tablet. She screamed, flinging the tablet a good safe distance away into the bed of flowers.

She became aware of every limb and joint in her body as the irritating pain spread quickly into a surging pain. Grasping her hands to her chest she was shocked to feel… nothing. Her eyes traveled to her hands and she marveled at what they had become, a decaying lifeless mass.

The beautiful garden was now a barren gray wasteland with a reddish fog creeping along the ground, and the chopper was now a rusted piece of metal. She needed the tablet to be young. It was her life source. Acacia gathered the courage to move her aching body one painful limb at a time to retrieve it. Swinging her leg off the bike, the heel of her glass shoe broke off. Right away she heard the cracking of old bones and the rip of her dress. She took a step and decaying parts of her leg started to fall into the fog. She screamed in agonizing pain trying to take another step, unaware of her lips falling into the mist. She took another step leaving her foot behind with part of her leg. She screamed yet again at the horror of what was happening to her body. She hopped on one foot with a jolt of pain and then her leg collapsed breaking off entirely.

Oh how it hurt…

Dragging her decaying body along the rugged ground, she crawled arm over arm, losing more parts as she went. First her ribs, then her stomach and at last she could hear her spine rubbing against the harsh ground. She lifted her head to see the tablet was just a few feet from her. Slipping, she lost her head altogether. It rolled within an inch from the tablet. The agony of seeing the tablet but no touching it surpassed the loss of her body.

Oh how it hurt…

​

Acacia awoke suddenly sitting straight up in her nice warm bed. Panting heavily, she surveyed her room. Everything was there and she was safe.

‘What a dream.’ She said as she patted herself to make sure she was whole. Realizing it had only been a dream she laid back down in her bed with her eyes wide open. In the dark she focused on something pinned to her ceiling and remembered… it was the poster her father had bought her at the motorcycle shop of a decaying woman with high heels holding a stone tablet she had thought was cool. Angry she reached up and tore it down pricking her finger on one of the pins. Oh how it hurt…

 

[Alia]

Good one Quokka!!

McMurphy... I pray I never go to Hell!

Alia

 

[GOLLUM]

Hi all!


Just to show I’m a literary junkie thought I’d have a go at this second challenge too.

This little effort took me about 40 minutes and weighs in at just over 500 words.

Hope someone out there likes it or otherwise.



Ivor, Lord of Gey Spike, surveyed the parched and scattered Earth that stretched taut like a dying man’s skin before him with a mocking grin, framed from lips scaffolded by leering splinters of bone.

Consulting the bronze-panelled map, with its details accentuated by skeletal lines of crimson blood, he could just discern the twin anvils of steaming rock that were the Horns Of Meer and the mighty Valnor Sea.

Reengaging the chromium autothrusters on his MechanoWheel, the spectre continued following the grey ashway as it snaked its inevitable way down to the Gulf Of Petros.

Before long the full majestic power of these legendary Horns became palpably real as his vehicle came to a sudden halt at the sea’s rippling margins. Thrusting up like some giant’s beseeching hands, they stood as an anathema to the heaving silver ocean, whose wave’s dismembered parts ricocheted off their ancient granite surface.

Here then he waited in solemn quietude, like a living statue carved from its furnace-forged surroundings. Ahead and beyond the Horns lay the continuing unending void of liquid mercury, which smothered the horizon and three quarters of the known world.

Still, he mused, it wasn’t the explored reaches that formed the current fulcrum of his depthless desires. Like the weighty expanse before him, he too craved a certain kind of dominance that could only be quenched by what remained hidden to mortal eyes.

Breaking from his layers of reverie, Ivor looked up to see the bright flash of sails unfurl against muslin skies stained lemon-bright by the Sun’s coppery gaze. Soon after, the distinctive clank of metal rotors and the sandpapered cries of mariners scurrying like ants amidst aluminium rigging broke the foetid air.

The first of what promised to be a new fleet of AquaTrans, the Pellegros looked more like some breathless piece of flotsam now straining beneath death’s callous heels, than the technological miracle of its age. Still, looks could be deceiving, as Lord Ivor could well testify to. After all, she had already journeyed into Valnor’s limitless depths and returned, a narrator of its shadow-filled secrets.

As the wooden tongue of rampway licked the Gulf’s petrified rock, two hulking figures suddenly materialized before him. The culmination of an extensive breeding program between the Grey Wolves of Alienus and the giant-sized bats of the Kulmas Islands, they were the very epitome of concentrated despair. “Ssssssss. Master we have come as you bade us. All is in readiness as instructed.”

"Excellent news my pets. Soon you will rewarded with human flesh but for now other needs must take precedence." In response to these comments, the two creatures openly capered about in wild and maniacal delight, as knotted cords of sweat fell to ground in misted coils of steam.

Allowing himself a secretive smile, Ivor boarded the Pellegros; his two loyal minions following behind his retreating back like a pair of extended wings.

As the giant ship re-entered the Gulf’s widening maw, Grey Spike’s commander leaned over latticed railings, taking one final glance at his former home as visions of a greater glory played out across his decaying mind….

 

[Alia]

I think what amazes me about your writing Gollum is the time you do it in. I mean it takes me a day to think of something, and then another day to write it out, well... minus sleep, work, family and other stuff it's about 3 to 4 hours. Then I have a friend read over it, because only a true friend would be completely honest and it takes her about 30 minutes or so to read over it. And then it isn't very good. While it takes you what, 40 minutes? and the last one 30? to create a masterpiece? I don't know, either you are truly a master or your fibbing to us about the time.

So where do we 'literary junkies' go from here? Whose in charge of these random challenges, do you have another one planned? Or do I need to wait because they only come out once a month, kind of thing?

 

[GOLLUM]

I think what amazes me about your writing Gollum is the time you do it in. I mean it takes me a day to think of something, and then another day to write it out, well... minus sleep, work, family and other stuff it's about 3 to 4 hours. Then I have a friend read over it, because only a true friend would be completely honest and it takes her about 30 minutes or so to read over it. And then it isn't very good. While it takes you what, 40 minutes? and the last one 30? to create a masterpiece? I don't know, either you are truly a master or your fibbing to us about the time.

So where do we 'literary junkies' go from here? Whose in charge of these random challenges, do you have another one planned? Or do I need to wait because they only come out once a month, kind of thing?

Um.. what can I say, Ich bin der Meister! HE HE..

No but seriously I pretty much wrote those pieces in the time indicated. The ideas I have are pretty basic really and I don't spend much time at all thinking about that aspect. If I work on a longer piece or spend more time mulling over an idea I can guarantee you that the ideas I come up with would be a heck of a lot better than what I post here. I literally just imagine a scene in my head and then go about writing it.

Basically almost all of my effort in the time allotted goes into the words, as description is what I'm best at. The imagery if you will that I develop and my attempts at trying to make it sound half decent only really come from practice. It really is not much more than that.

Please don't forget mate, I've been reading fantasy works for the best part of 25 years and after a while you tend to gravitate towards the better pieces of work. The top writers in the field for me like Erikson, Martin, Keyes, Wolfe etc.. are the ones I most aspire to, so my style in a sense will attempt to complement theirs, although obviously you need to ultimately develop your own unique style. No point being an Erikson clone.

The other thing to remember here is that having read this stuff for so long, you get a feel for what works or sounds good and what doesn't, that's simply a matter of experience. No way around that.

Also my job as a technical writer involves me editing, writing user manuals, on-line help etc. for companies that develop their own customer software. So essentially I'm dealing with words and their uses, grammar issues etc.. on a daily basis, so you do this for long enough and it starts to rub off. I've always been good with words and have run my own company these past 5 years specialising in this type of work. It also forces me to think about issues like layout and therefore when writing a fantasy piece for fun means I’m always trying to ensure the piece flows and makes sense in terms of the sequence of events.

Having said all of the above, I'm certainly no expert in creative writing or a grammar guru per se and I felt that the pieces you posted here were actually quite good.

In summary, some things I'd do for what it’s worth and I'm sure there's plenty on this forum who can give more substantial advice than this!!

1. Practice, practice, practice. It’s the only way really.
2. Get someone you trust to read through your work, your idea here is a very good one!
3. Try to imagine an image and think that you're writing for a vision-impaired person where you need to paint a picture.
4. Following on from pt 3. try to imagine the basic sequence of events or logic before writing them as I tend to do. For example, I thought of this character on the bike, then they're looking at a map. Why are they looking at this map? This question gives an answer i.e. waiting for a rendezvous to go on some kind of exploration that then adds to the plot line or story arc. So they're meeting someone or something, start thinking of what that may be and in what context. That is to say, how do they arrive hence the idea of the ship. Then OK, there's the basic story, now we add a bit of believability or substance to it by describing locations with names that hopefully relate to the story/picture, like Gulf Of Petros, which means Gulf Of Rock as Petros is Greek for rock etc.. Get the idea?
5. Um.. following on from that previous point, to summarize squeeze every last drop you can from the picture or imagine you have to work with, that's what I tried to do anyway. This in turn provides you with your story arc.
6. Try to literally place yourself into the main character's shoes. It may sound a bit funny but I mean literally do this, so you imagine you really are on that ocean feeling a breeze, being impaled by a sword thrust etc.. and how you’d feel or react to this. Even better go to a physical location to enhance this experience and maybe even write the piece from there. Nothing like real life to draw upon for inspiration.
7. Try to read widely and not just in the fantast/sci fi genre. This can add a lot to things like dialogue.
8. Read other fantasy authors who produce "quality" work. A subjective thing I know, but I think you know what I mean. You read for long enough and you begin to see what works and what doesn't.
9. Write what you know about i.e. from life’s experiences, like what you said but try to apply it to a fantasy context. Not always easy to do I know.
10. Ultimately develop your own style, this will only come with practice and working out what works best for you.

Anyway just a few things that may be of use to you. I think there are specific sections in this forum that cover the art of writing and I’m no expert!

AH.. funnily enough I was planning to post a third random challenge soon myself. I don’t think there’s a mortgage on this idea as such but obviously you want to give the current thread a bit of a run before posting another one. Don’t forget you can always grab some pictures yourself and practice privately as it were before having a go at another one here.

All the best and hope this helps a little..

P.s. As a reference it took me about 15 mins to type up this post with suggested ideas. Just practice..

 

[Alia]

Also my job as a technical writer involves me editing, writing user manuals, on-line help etc. for companies that develop their own customer software.

Besides user manuels do you have any other published fantasy or Scifi novels? I'm going to Barnes and Nobles tomorrow and I would buy a book or two written by you! I'm always looking for a good book to read.

Also...
Thanks for the kind words Gollum. I dabble a little in writing but I think I lack the talent. Practice, Practice and even more practive is what I need! I will take your advice on the next writing assignment and anything else I feel the notion to write. I've printed out your post as a referrence so please feel free to give more advice! I'm always open to suggestions!

Something I need to point out about my writing, Gollum, is I did NOT read any of the other stories until after I had posted my own. I didn't want to influence my imagination. Even at that, at first glance, I thought the figure was a guy on a motorcycle. A closer look told me differently. I have to say that the majority of these stories seem to ring a familiar tone while in Random Challenge #1 had more of a diversity. Just an observation...

Alia

 

[GOLLUM]

UM.. not sure if I've confused you with that last post or not..

When I say user manuals etc.. I'm talking about technical manuals like say you use a word processing program like MS Word and you have a manual that comes with it that say covers how to add bullets to a list, format a paragraph, bold and underline words etc.. All technical stuff, nothing related to stories, novels etc.. Sorry, just in case you weren't clear on what I was referring to.

I don't have anything published or that much of an interest in publishing stuff, for me its more just a bit of fun. However because I have a knowledge of words I have worked as part time editor in Australia for unpublished and self published authors. Just local people, no-one you would know about or anything like that.

I think if I put my mind to it I could maybe write something half decent but right now I have heaps of other things going on. Having said that I've had a few ideas kicking around and when I'm older or more settled I may turn my hand to this. Plenty of time mate, you're never too old and I do plan to have a go of getting something published but not for a few years yet....

Yep, I tried not to look too hard at other people's posts before I did mine for the same reason. Some authors say that they read in other genres and not much in the one that they write in for that very reason, they don't wish to be overly influenced.

Anyway just keep at it, after all everyone had to start somewhere.

Now if you like the way I write or try to write, then you might like to check out some of the following authors. I've put this into 2 categories because I don't know whether violence, sex and some of your favourite characters getting killed off etc.. is your cup of tea in writing or like some people you prefer "happier" or softer stories or at least not too full on if you know what I mean?? All series are more on the EPIC scale i.e. lots of characters, parallel plot lines, intrigue going on etc..

Harder Edged:
Steven Erikson Malazan Series. Book 1 Gardens Of The Moon, Book 2 Deadhouse Gates both in the US. Five books so far published, best I've ever read. Military fantasy.
George RR Martin. No 2. in my hit parade. 3 books so far published.
Paul Kearney's book The Mark Of Ran. Harder edged but very well written.

Slightly Less Harder Edged:
Kate Elliot Crown Of Stars Series. Well written and a nice read. 5 books out last 2 out over the next 8 months or so.
Greg Keyes Kingdom Of Thorn And Bone Series. 2 books out, book 3 due mid year, final book maybe next year.
J V Jones Sword Of Shadows series. A little darker than her earlier stuff but well written. First 2 books out, Book 3 of the trilogy hopefully out by the end of 2005 or early 2006?

Hope this helps, you can always learn something from these top class authors. I'm sure other people will be able to recommend stuff too.

Bye for now and happy reading..

 

[GOLLUM]

Oh I'd like to add Tad Williams Memory, Sorrow and Thorn series and Book 1 Shadowmarch out now in a new trilogy. Less harder edged but nicely written IMHO.

Bye..

 

[Alia]

Here's another from the 'notorious' friend. I hope you like it, let me know.

Pain and terror ripped through Miranda as she doubled over onto the porch swing of the twin gabbled track home. If it weren’t for the painted red door, the house would look like any other stucco and Spanish tiled home in suburbia. Why her mother chose to paint the door red was a question Miranda thought would never be answered. Reflecting on the day events, the red door used to be the only unique and interesting thing in Miranda’s life. If she could only go back to the way things use to be.

It all started with the alarm clock. Miranda should have guessed that today would be different when she hit the snooze button and a shock traveled through her fingers and shot up her arm. Instantly she was awake, rubbing her hand furiously. She shrugged it off as just a simple jolt of static electricity and went about her daily route getting ready for school.

As Miranda dried her hair with the blow drier, she remembered it was her eighteenth birthday, a day to celebrate. But why was her hair standing up the way it did? She recalled how disappointing it was to start off her birthday with a bad hair day.

It was at school that Miranda knew something strange was happening. The prospect of sitting through another first period chemistry class had made her want to put her head down and catch some more sleep. Her science teacher had the knack of making everything sound boring. But today was anything but boring as every light bulb and switch malfunctioned during the teacher’s lab demonstration. Small sparks of electricity flew wildly out of the broken devices. And as everyone’s attention was on the faulty equipment and the teacher; Miranda noticed sparks emanating from her hands. Before anyone could notice her Miranda ran from the room. She needed to get home, so Miranda skipped more than walked the three miles from school.

As Miranda turned the corner to walk the last 100 feet to the red door, a woman riding a motorcycle sped by her. She felt, more than saw, the energy from the bike as it came in contact with her skin. The tingling sensation made Miranda suddenly aware that she could suck every drop of electricity from the engine. Scared, Miranda put her hand out and instead of sucking energy it reflected back on the motorcycle. Before she knew what had happened, the bike and the woman were engulfed in flame. The skeletal form sitting upon that motorcycle built the terror inside her. Now collapsed in the porch swing, she knew her life could never be the same. Pain raged in her hand. What was she to do? Who could help her?