The Big Bang in 100 words

[Saeltari]

Now we're talking although 2.0 seemed a bit odd. Why not just

Pandora's​

If found please return unopened.​

I was thinking in pc terms. The original version, if I remember right just let loose catastrophy and other unpleasantness, but did not end the world. The new version does...

 

[Peter Graham]

Tremendous post, Z-O! The blighters!

Please don't leave me hanging on the edge of my folding chair, Peter... What happened to Mrs. Graham????

Happily, Mrs Graham is of solid Yorkshire stock, meaning that it would take rather more than the destruction of the entire planet and the sudden and total extinction of the human race to ruffle her feathers.

As the earth turned into a molten blob of burning fire in the infinite blackness of space, Mrs Graham just had time to nip up the back to check on the hens and to feed the pigs before coming back and putting the kettle on. It made a change to have such a warm day in December and Mrs Graham proposed to make the most of it and enjoy her cup of tea in the boiling inferno that had once been the front garden.

Regards,

Peter

 

[Zubi-Ondo]

Whew! That was a close one. I'm glad she's alright. But like R.E.M. used to say, "It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine."

 

[Dave]

The Screenplay...

[Exit Stage Left]

[Fade to Red]

THE END.

 

[jojajihisc]

The surface had long since formed into a single, vast ocean of molten rock. Tidal forces from the impossibly close star squeezed the planet like a sponge so if seen at the right distance and resolution it appeared as if a giant pliable egg. The two inner planets had already been devoured and the star was only just beginning its massive expansion, shucking mass and defying gravity's inward pull. Explosive fissures in the planet's surface vented gas from deep within the mantle. Suddenly what might have once been equatorial Africa was shot into space.....the disintegration would not take long.

 

[TheEndIsNigh]

The Screenplay...

[Exit Stage Left]

[Fade to Red]

THE END.

LOL

The surface had long since formed into a single, vast ocean of molten rock. Tidal forces from the impossibly close star squeezed the planet like a sponge so if seen at the right distance and resolution it appeared as if a giant pliable egg. The two inner planets had already been devoured and the star was only just beginning its massive expansion, shucking mass and defying gravity's inward pull. Explosive fissures in the planet's surface vented gas from deep within the mantle. Suddenly what might have once been equatorial Africa was shot into space.....the disintegration would not take long.

Good, though see me below



Sorry you both fail the BANG test.

Dave you also forgot the IS NIGH so no marks for you.

 

[Zubi-Ondo]

Sneaking up quietly, he pulled out his fully loaded 9mm Beretta, and fired three shots to the back of TEIN's head. The end was certainly nigh for TEIN.

Now the rest of us can relax in peace.

- Z.

 

[TheEndIsNigh]

Technically Z that would be

BANG

BANG

BANG

which is obviously doesn't qualify for inclusion as a contender

 

[Zubi-Ondo]

Dang! (not Bang) He's still alive. He must be one of those guys with a metal plate in his head.

- Z.

 

[Boneman]

First there was nothing........

Then it exploded.....

is the best description of the beginning of the universe I ever heard, so the end of the universe should be.....

Last there was everything.....

Then it exploded....

14 words to explain the beginning and end... Alpha and omega, eat your hearts out.....

 

[Precision Grace]

I wanted to do this one yesterday but it was going to be about does the bang make a sound if there is no earth to hear it so when I found out that option had been addressed I went off to sulk for a while. Here's something else then:


The Earth was Round and it lived in space
Then one day

BANG

And it wasn't 'round no more.

 

[Boneman]

In space, no-one can hear you clean......

 

[Moonbat]

Simon Cowell smiled a millionaire's smile and pulled his trousers up slightly higher. The song being sung to the world by three teenage girls was one of his most sickly sloppy pop masterpieces to date, even the heresey of heresay couldn't compete with this. '14 Christmas number ones in a row, I deserve a new jet and maybe a new wife' He thought to himself.
Meanwhile God had had enough, and so he said 'let there not be light', and just as he had willed it, there wasn't.

 

[Zubi-Ondo]

Okay, since I had not actually done a 100 word version, I figured I would.
This will be written in the style of the 1960's.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the beginning there was nothing.
And then there was light.
And there was still nothing, but now you could see it.
Then there was gas. (In space no one could smell it.)
And the gas started partying, which attracted more gas.
Then the gas partied harder, and got out of control.
It got really really heavy, man.
So heavy that it collapsed on itself, and Bang!
There was a bunch of new elements with heavier atomic weights.
The Earth formed from this stardust.
In 2096, the Earth blew up.
Then there was nothing, but no one to see it.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Z.

 

[mosaix]

Dave had been told before about taking drinks into the LHC control room, but what harm could a coffee do?

He was reading the report of the previous night's Champions League Final (Manchester City 6 - Manchester United 0) when he absent-mindedly reached for the cup and spilt it.

He watched in horror as steaming liquid disappeared into the keyboard of the control console.

The was the sound of a small BANG as a fuse blew, followed by several LARGER BANGS in the distance, followed, ultimately, by the
BIG BANG!
"Still", was his last thought, "at least we won the last derby game".

 

[Dave]

Why is everything my fault?

 

[TheEndIsNigh]

Enough was enough and he'd had his fill. For too long now he had put up with being used and abused and ignored by the smug, self satisfied little maggots. He had tried to make them see sense. He had warned them there would be consequences if they continued on this path of destruction that promised universal conflict. Now he was pissed. Besides what had he left to live for. Better that they should all die and the stain be cleansed than they be allowed to spread their evil through the galaxy. It was right. It was his fault this had happened and they had to be stopped. Well they would be sorry, he'd had enough. It was time. Time to stop them in their tracks and he was through with being Mr. Nice Planet

BANG​