A little bit weird parody

[Therian]

I never wrote anything really funny; i guess i was too serious person all the time, but lately i began writing in free-style; means that i don't stop myself and re-write it again and again as i did before with every other story i have written.

I would appreciate any comment/critique on the first part of the prologue to what is supposed to be sci-fi parody. And besides that i hope that you'll enjoy reading it and perhaps be curious enough to read what will happen next.

But before that, a little background on the story:
The story is about two teenagers that live in the far far future of the 60th century earth. Their names are Fyukiz and Ram. The best thing they love doing is watching TV, but besides that they got a strange and powerful ability called the "Telemontronictron Effect" that makes them appear everywhere they wish. They explain this effect as: "Surfing on unseen energetic solar waves into the vastness of space."

On the other side of the galaxy there is a ship that belongs to small and evil race called the Thaluuztans. They are the most vicious race in the galaxy, but you'll get to learn more about them later on. They are controlled by an overlord called Carton, but for a reason, because each time he'll change his mood he will reshape his custom accordingly. I do need help in describing how he will do it. (He looks like a tall thin red/brown-skinned alien's head in a picture that he takes along with him, and he changes these pictures where he sticks his face as he changes moods.)

Well, this is the background and what help i'm asking of you. If there is anything you want to say about it, please do so. I'm looking to better my writing and i also think that i have a potential good story here. Tell me what you think.
And for any of you who think about a cenrtain state of being needed to write this thing down, i only drank two beers.

 

[Therian]

Okay! This is the first part of the prologue, or the first adventure of Fyukiz & Ram in the 60th century! This is called: "Thaluuzta; Scum of the Universe".

Unfortunately i couldn't copy/paste the content of the text to this window, so i attached the file for you to download and read. I hope it won't anger anyone...

Well, gotta go now, going back studying...
Cheers!

 

[Treikayan]

Um, Therian, if I click on the little "W" icon, I'm not going to download a virus, am I?

I'd like to read it, but I want assurance first

 

[Jayaprakash Satyamurthy]

Yes, I'm afraid you'll simply have to find a way to negotiate those tricky Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V manuevers - one does prefer to be cautious on the net. I've often cut-and-pasted stuff from Word docs here - it isn't too tough. Give it another shot.

 

[Therian]

Ctrl+V?
I'll try it out. And i use several protection programs in this computer that include: NAV 2005, two firewalls, and a new anti-spyware programs that blocks everything that it thinks its a spyware/adware/ or anything else. And i am clean of viruses and any other spywares. Is it good enough?

 

[Therian]

Lets try it out...

I'm making another shot at posting the story for your convenience. Hope this works this time!

​

​

Somewhere in space, in unknown time and place a dark and menacing ship; shaped like a gigantic carousel drifted onwards upon invisible winds of space…​

Thaluuzta; are the most dangerous species in the galaxy. Under the command of overlord Carton, they are the horror of the known… and sometimes of the unknown worlds as well. Those who heard about them from those few lucky enough survivors who managed to escape their clutch now tremble in fear at the sight of the Thaluuztan flags as their dreaded ship appears as a shadow of doom in star systems, tearing entire stars apart and leaving behind them only death and destruction, except during those times when they aren’t that systematic or just tired.​

Today it was the opposite… today they were bored.​

“Are we going to make a jump today?” Overlord Carton screamed into the comm box.​

“Yessir!” One of the commanders replied.​

“We have to install the hyperdrivers before we will be able to make a jump at all…” Carton overheard on the local comm channel. “Arrrgghhh!” He cursed and smacked the table with his powerful fist. “Is there anything that works here?! Gangas! Get yourself over here! NOW!”​

A short wormlike alien in a mechanic device approached him. He raised his big milky eyes up to overlord Carton and murmured something Carton couldn’t understand.​

“Ahem… Mr. Overlord Sir…” He tried to say as clearly as he could without showing the overwhelming feeling of fear that crept all over his body. “The systems we recently installed had crashed and turned all our screens blue. It petrified the ship! This is the reason why we are drifting now… without any real ability to move –“ “Okay, I get the picture.” “…Or jump... – Carton’s eyes shot lightnings. – for three weeks now…” Gangas said.​

“You told me that this system was better than the last one! You said that this system is untouchable, uncrushable! And now you’re telling me that we are stuck here in space for three weeks now, drifting like dead carcass in space?” “Well, yes. Sir. This is exactly what I said.”​

“I wonder how come we are still breathing…” “On that I can answer, sir!” Gangas said proudly.​

“You see, I personally installed the penguin backup system in life support system just in case something like this will ever happen.” “You did well Gangas.” Carton said and pushed the little alien aside, checking the comm for new updates. “How goes the installation progress in technical?” A monotonic voice relied from the comm box describing the progress in their strange technical language. “Damn technicians.” He cursed and ordered Gangas to report the updates to him. “You speak technical, so tell me what the hell am I hearing here? I can’t stand all these technical chit-chat.” Gangas listened for a minute and said: “The technician said that they are currently at 59% in the basic installation and going and that in mere 6 hours the ship’s system will be ready to install the new and might I say updated hyperdrivers.” “Hmmm…” Carton thought loudly. “Very well Gangas, you have your six hours, but remember this; I am after all a VERY BORED THALUUZTAN, and if I won’t tear a star soon, I’ll TEAR YOU INSTEAD!”​

6 hours later:​

“Look at this beauty! Look at these screens and the way the mouse moves so smoothly over the internet! And what a speed! I love a baby super-computer…I love it…” Overlord Carton returned to the bridge and Gangas came back to his senses. “Is it over?” He asked impatiently. “Yessir! It’s all over and ready to go!” “Then go already!” Carton spat the words and Gangas sensed some tone of disappointment in his master’s voice. He guessed that maybe Carton indeed wanted to tear him instead of his daily star. Gangas grabbed the microphone and announced; “This is not a drill, I repeat this is not by any means a drill. This is the real thing this time. We ARE going to make a jump now!” Immediately a female stewardess appeared on the Thaluuztan Bridge. “Good day passengers of the Thaluuztan super destroyer class ship. It is a great day today as we are about to make a jump to a random star system and utterly destroy it for the mere fun of it. So, I ask you to take your seats and don’t forget to magnetically lock yourself. Remember that the last member who forgot to lock himself was never found after the immediate jump had occurred. You probably remember that he suddenly vanished, before he even could scream and his remains are probably scattered over ten different dimensions by now. Please take note that if you experience any glitches, report immediately to our technical support team. Our technical support team will be glad to help you survive the trip. If you don’t survive the trip and find yourselves suddenly drifting in the vacuum of space due to dimensional shifts; your bodies being smashed inside as your organs explode outwards, please sign now right here on this form that appears on your screens that we are not responsible for your violent deaths and that all of your personal and ancestral valuables will be transferred to T.U.D – Thaluuztan Universal Devastation effort. If there is a hull breach and you will be sucked into the outer space; experiencing similar deaths as the above, please take the last seconds of your lives to pray to whatever god or entity you believe in. Maybe they will hear you, on the other hand what’s the point and they never listen anyway, especially the Thaluuztan god Mushekarra. Actually he will find it amusing. But besides that, have a nice trip! …I’m glad that I am only a holo-program. I don’t know how I could go past these extremely violent deaths… I feel so sorry for these poor little star-tearing beings…” And the stewardess hologram disappeared with a flash. All eyes turned to overlord Carton. “Would you like the honors, sir?” Gangas asked and Carton proudly pushed him away. “Sure thing Gangas! – He smiled proudly. – Maybe this time, if I do it, less than the usual 150 casualties will suffer the extremely violent deaths our holographic stewardess described before. Like it happens every time you make the jump, Gangas…” Gangas rolled his eyes slowly away from his master. “You see – Carton continued, - You have to feel the right moment, when the stars are aligned in the perfect position in order to give you the best course to a random place. And the time is now!” Carton pushed the big red button labeled ‘JUMP-NOW’ and the ship trembled ferociously for a moment and then disappeared with a flash.​

 

[Therian]

Re: Lets try it out...

I tried to edit the post because there is some misspelling there, but its nothing special. Actually the only word that needed edit was "replied" where i wrote instead "relied".

 

[Chimeco]

Ok, here's my critique on what's been posted. First of all, good job on the writing. I did get the feel that I was reading an excerpt of a script from "Tripping the Rift" though. Your Carton character sounds like that evil clown, Darth Bobo, whether purposefully or not, I dont know.
Flow: Somewhat there, but still needs improvement. I didn't really get hung up anywhere, which is great. But your lack of structure was a little bothersome.
Color: It's not as descriptive as I normally like when I choose to read something. I didn't quite get the feel that I was "there". I couldn't quite picture the environment basically, although I did get a strong feel for Carton.
Grammer: This is a weak point of any critique I make. I don't much pay attention to periods myself. So the only thing I can say that bothered me was again, the lack of structure. Everything's just crammed into one lump paragraphs.
Pace & Humor: too quick.

My suggestions are to first, break it up, get it away from it's lumpy paragraph scheme. Secondly, pause for a moment during this speel and allow us to jump into Cartons head, to see what's going on there. And slow it down a little. You're trying to transition from one punchline to the next too quickly. Think them out. Your penguin backup system for instance, is a punchline without a question. What's a penguin backup life support system anyway? I get no imagry because i just can't relate the two. You have to construct your images with your words, just as a cinematic director constructs a set with props and lighting. Otherwise, it's a distraction.
Basically whatever you're seeing as the penguin backup system needs to be put on paper descriptively. If it adds another half-page, so what. If it's a problem, then it needs to be taken out completely or the focus removed from it. This goes for each piece of the puzzle you've added into your story. I just use the penguin system as an example, again.

Hope I helped some. Don't take my critique too hard either. I see potential and every critique should be taken with a grain of salt.

 

[Therian]

Thank you very much for the critique. I'll work on and it and post the re-written version as soon as i can.

 

[Therian]

...and about my grammar problem, what can i say, english is not my native language so i try to do my best.

 

[L'Aile]

Your idea is very creative---I do think it has potential if it is "fleshed out" a little bit. Not to say this in a mean or critical way...but it is a little obvious that English is not your primary language. In terms of your grammatical usage and terms: First, I am impressed with some of your jargon, and techno-babble if you aren't a native English speaker. That said, it might help if you try to go back and make sure that all of your subject/verbs are in agreement, and that you break up your sentence structure a little. Some of your sentences are a little too long for easy comprehension. Vary your sentence lengths so that your reader doesn't have to think too hard. After all, it is supposed to be entertaining, right? Over all, good job, keep writing!

 

[Therian]

Thanks!

 

[Chimeco]

shoot... I couldn't tell. Well good job!

 

[Treikayan]

I finished reading the story, and I liked it. As I was reading, I did visualize the story as a bit comical; as per what you were intending.

the penguin backup system

LOL! Linux prevails again.

 

[Therian]

Heh, thanks Treikayan! Would you like me to post the rest of the story? I have three more parts and a half that describes the full tale of the Thaluuztan Invasion.

 

[Treikayan]

It's your perogative. Yes, it would be cool though.

 

[Therian]

The second part of the prologue.

This is the second part of the prologue. I hope it gets better with time.

Enjoy! (I will post the other parts as well so you will see the whole picture.)

The ship cast itself into the hyperspace, tearing through the fabric of space. At first moment the lifeless darkness of space turned multicolored on the other side of the frontal windowpane, then, as the ship suddenly pushed forward by immense force, everything turned into infinite colorful lines. 'The sight was spectacular.' Carton thought. 'If I wasn't a Thaluuztan Overlord, bred for destroying planets on daily basis, I would have been a jump ship pilot… living in the vastness of hyperspace for the rest of my life…'​

Suddenly a small object appeared in front of them, heading their way. ​

"Sir?" Gangas heard from his communication box. ​

"Yes? What is it?" The voice from the other side of the box was terrified. ​

"There is an unknown object heading our way. We are about to collide with it!" Gangas looked outside through the windowpane. Indeed there was an object heading this way.​

"Hmm… Mr. Overlord…?" ​

"Yes, Gangas, what's now?" Carton asked. ​

"Well, I don't know how to put it, but there is an object heading our way with a high possibility of collision." ​

"Is it a star?! Carton's eyes glared with hope. I hope it's a star, and a worthy one of destroying, by me! I hope it's a star…" ​

"Sir? Gangas's voice turned serious. You know, if it's a star, then we are surely doomed, done for good, dead with no hope, finished. It will pass through us like a knife through butter, like blood thirsty badass Thaluuztan through a star, though…-" "Okay! I got the picture! Set course to avoid the object." ​

"It's not possible, Overlord, sir!" Another voice went out of the communication box. "Okay, who's the wise guy that just spoke?" A hand rose from the bridge. ​

"Good. Check this out, Gangas." Carton smiled devilishly. ​

"Get over here, wise guy." ​

"Yessir!" The officer unlocked himself from the chair and took some steps toward his master. Then, with a moment of realization he turned back and then looked around him. Everyone was silent and somebody waved him goodbye. 'Oh ****.' He managed to whisper before he disappeared from the bridge. ​

"This is the reason why wise guys like him will never be Overlords like me. He's probably scattered over ten dimensions by now!" He laughed. The object on the other side was close now than before. ​

"Sir, - Gangas said. – The wise guy was right in a way." ​

"Okay, Gangas, you're not a wise guy, so I'll listen. Go ahead."​

"Well, as you may know laws of physics and astro-physics have no effect in hyperspace. For example, a small and seemingly meaningless object can be morphed – theoretically speaking of course, into a size of our ship or maybe even larger! Another thing is that even if we change course, because time and space are meaningless here, we may never actually move to another location and the object will continue its course of collision as if we did nothing. On the other hand, if we won't change course we might be able to survive it by passing right through it as if the object was never there! This happens… - oh well, its too complicated anyway. Sir? What do you want to do now?" ​

"What is the distance between us and the object?"​

"500.000 kilometers and approaching, sir!" ​

"Wait a minute; shouldn't it already have to hit us? After all, we're flying thrice the speed of light here…" ​

"499.824 kilometers and closing." ​

"Oh, this is one of those time distortions. It's a time distortion, people! Do not worry! We're not doomed yet!"​

Then the object suddenly disappeared. ​

"And this is, gentlemen, is a space distortion." Carton managed to say when the ship trembled ferociously and something unidentifiable crushed on the front windowpane with a powerful splash. It waved with its hand and its mouth pronounced a silent 'hello' and something resembling to 'hey, don't you worry; I'm fine, it happens to me all the time.' Carton glared on the thing on his windowpane and didn't understand anything. ​

"We are pulling out of the hyperspace, sir!" Gangas announced and the ship suddenly stopped, sending the crushed thing into the vastness of space. 'Hey! Thanks for the ride!' The thing gestured before it disappeared, and then out of the shadows a blooming star appeared. Carton's eyes opened wide with devilish grin. ​

"Finally…" He whispered to himself. ​

"Raise the flags and polish your jaws! Boring time is over; it is time to have some fun!" The immense dark and menacing carousel ship raised the horrifying Thaluuztan flags and began its course toward its next planetary victim…​

 

[Therian]

I'm posting the next part of the story here.
(I hope its not too much! )

This one is called "Declaration of Invasion"

​

Fyukiz woke up sweating from a dream. It was the same dream all over again. He finds himself in space with his best friend Ram as they surf on the energies of solar waves. It was the famous Telemontronictron effect from the television series Buzzskip & Doil; Fyukiz and Ram's idolized television super heroes. ​

'I guess watching a marathon of 30 hours of Buzzskip and Doil does something to you…' Fyukiz thought and went to wake up Ram. His head hurt badly and he couldn't put his mind to rest from images of some carousel ship coming closer to him at incredible speed, then someone watching at him through a windowpane with stupid glare.​

"Ram? Wake up dude! Did you have the same dream as mine again?" Fyukiz asked as he went into Ram's room. The bed was empty.​

"Ram…? – Fyukiz asked surprisingly. Where the –" And then it stroke him. The dreams weren't dreams! It was real! He went back into his room and activated the dream recorder. Semi-transparent dates flashed before him and he picked the last set of dreams. Between the usual wet dreams and weird fantasies about Buzzskip and Doil he found the dream he was looking for. He sat and replayed the dream again. ​

"Gosh dammit… - he cursed himself. – I left him in space again."​

Ram stood in a strange and dark place. His body shivered and he could barely move.​

"Fyuk? Dude? Where are you? It's not funny…" His voice echoed through the endless corridors of this cold place. Strange and alien machinery emanated annoying humming voices and from a far he could hear someone speaking.​

"Forget that encounter! We have a star to shutter!"​

"Yessir!" Someone else announced. Ram that was cursed with curiosity of a thousand cats found himself standing on the other side of a glassy door, in the shadows of a coffee-like machine. He couldn't resist the sudden urge to see who's been talking with whom and about what planet. Once he glanced into the room, it all came back to him. He passed through that windowpane with Fyukiz into the room where he found himself. Only Fyukiz was no place to be seen. ​

A tall and brown humanoid sat on a seat resembling a throne. Next to him sat a small alien. The tall humanoid was about to announce something and everybody in the room frozen; from fear or respect, he couldn't know.​

"Gentlemen and Thaluuztans! – He declared. – We finished our jump with only 80% of the usual jump casualties! We jumped into Earth system, home of the notorious Humans! Rumors say that humans succeeded in preventing all invasions before we arrived. Now let us make history and Earth, another trophy for me…" He finished, grinning evilly.​

'Oh man… these aliens are gonna destroy Earth, my home! I have to do something to prevent the invasion! And I need Fyukiz by my side. He'll know what to do…'​

'How did it go? Close your eyes and breathe deeply… in and out, in and out… think happy thoughts about places you want to be… and you'll be there…'​

'Sounds easy enough…' Fyukiz thought and pictured Ram in his mind's eye. He breathed in and out, deeply and slowly and suddenly everything became blurry…​

The room turned blurry and began to twist, like in the series of Buzzskip and Doil. He could feel himself turn invisible as he faded from material plane and a moment later disappeared into mid-air with a little flash of light. Everything turned inside out and upside down as Fyukiz went higher and higher into space. He took a quick glimpse down to disappearing Earth as he passed near Luna, and there it was, that huge carousel-like ship floating in space near Luna's orbit. He felt the presence of the force of Ram drawing Fyukiz toward him. He saw countless of small ships being gathered near the ship, waving their carousel flag of approaching doom. Within these ships thousands of bored Thaluuztans waited impatiently to land on human colonies for a snack and a crack. It was an invasion…​

"Here it is! – Gangas finished clicking on the board in front of him. www.invader-catalogue.tha.org/ - With this site we can be assured of total victory, sir!" Carton peeked on the screen. It was full of reading material in traditional Thaluuztan language.​

"Hmrph... – He quickly discarded it – too much ******** reading for me. I need action, not reading articles written by incapable losers who couldn't become what I have become, but still think they know something on star shuttering. Hmrph!" ​

"But overlord, sir! – Gangas clicked quickly on one of the links. – Look here! They have full details on all vital and strategic locations of human forces, details on their armed forces and their capabilities and even a poll, telling how much chance we have to shutter this planet! They even have a whole list of all historic records of attempts on invading Earth, recorded in full color; see; the Day the Earth Stood Still, War of the Worlds,Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Men in Black, Mars Attack and others, and… - he glanced on the blue screen link – very detailed records of human anatomy. Not to mention preferred strategies for clear, total and utter destruction." He added.​

"Not interested. – Carton replied. – It is going to be a traditional Thaluuztan way… - But planning strategies and conquering in the right manner is the Thaluuztan tradition…- Gangas interrupted but Carton's mind deepened still. - …my way…"​

"Overlord, sir? – Carton turned his gaze on the officer. – The drop-ships are in position and are waiting for your command." Carton smiled with satisfaction. ​

"You see, Gangas. Reading information on the internet won't help you in real battle. When you are facing a star like this, you need to act on your inner instincts and my instincts are telling me that brutal and very bored Thaluuztan force will do the job perfectly."​

"As you wish, Overlord, sir."​

Impatiently, Carton grabbed the microphone and announced to all members and Thaluuztan fleet.​

"Gentlemen and Thaluuztans! We finished our jump with only 80% of the usual jump casualties! We jumped into Earth system, home of the notorious Humans! Rumors say that humans succeeded in preventing all invasions before we arrived. Now let us make history and Earth, another trophy for me…"​

Ram's body shivered from what he just heard. He closed his eyes and tried to think as hard as he could about all the things he loved and won't be able to see again. Next season of Buzzskip and Doil, girls, and all bunches of other things… and Fyukiz...​

"Fyuk, if you can hear me, you have to come here. Everyone needs your help dude… We all count on you now."​

 

[Therian]

Only two more parts left for the finished prologue...

This one is the third part: The Invasion Begins...

​

​

Back on planet Earth all hell broke loose. As thousands of Thaluuztan drop-ships descended from Earth's orbit down to the surface of the planet, human gunners shot them, but only more appeared. A rain of metal and dead alien carcasses fell on the surface of the planet, bringing destruction with each impact. Squadrons of black devils appeared in the sky, flying high toward the ships, entering fierce battles. Humans fought well as Carton and Gangas had presumed.​

From the ruins, where the drop-ships fell, hundreds of hardened Thaluuztan survivors went out spreading like decease to every street and house around the ship, clawing ferociously flesh and metal for mere sadistic fun. Soon came the National Guard with heavy reinforcements and the army follow. Where humans stroke back, the aliens soon reappeared with new forces. It seems there is no hope for humanity this time…​

From a secured location, somewhere underground the President of Terran race received new reports on the invasion.​

"We have yet succeeded in making any contact with the alien race. – One of the generals said. – I fear they have no intentions for granting us unconditional surrender."​

"They always have no intentions for granting unconditional surrender! This is the case with alien invading race! All they want is to destroy us. And why?! For fun, who knows?! Didn't you see the replay of the Independence Day last week on the classics channel?" The white haired President replied.​

"So, what are our suggestions?" Everyone in the room went silent.​

"As of now we still have positions here, here, and there. – One of the generals pointed on the map. – It seems that they have some trouble eating through our hardened forces, but every time we blast them, more of them appear from the impact." The president looked surprisingly at the general.​

"Did you say 'eating'?"​

"Yes, Mr. President. They eat through our forces… more like claw and eat."​

"What about our feral and Changed forces? Do you think they can help a bit?" ​

"Some of the orbital platforms already sent their Changed troops into the battle. The problem is with pinpointing the right location for landing. In this report you can see what happened when a Goliath class Changed landed – to say the least – on slightly changed location. Its impact smashed the troops guarding that post! 35 soldiers dead and done by our hands!" ​

After a long and serious thinking the president raised his eyes to everyone else in the room.​

"We have one last chance. Get me Hollywood."​

Carton looked at the viewing screen with unleashed pride and happiness. The pictures show promising winning of Thaluuztan forces.​

"Let's open a bottle of Champagne to celebrate our victory!" He announced but Gangas turned back and went out without saying a word.​

'Throwing everything you got on a star is not a good planned strategy.' He cursed the arrogant overlord. Then, as he walked down the corridor, everything around him suddenly shifted and a distant voice coming closer smashed into him with immense force and then as suddenly as it appeared, everything turned back to normal.​

When Gangas came back to his senses, he found himself looking into a pair of eyes that looked back at him.​

"Did… have I met you before…?" He mumbled.​

"Yeah, you remember me. I crashed into your windowpane not long ago. You gave me a ride back to my home system." Gangas stared at the thing before him with amazement and then touched his soft skin.​

"You're a human…" He said.​

"Sure thing, at least that’s what everybody else tell me. And you are…?"​

"Gangas, a Limmnak consultant to Thaluuztan Universal Destruction Forces" The human looked back at him, confused.​

"Well, now I'm sure you're a human. I'm an advisor to the tall idiot alien you saw when you smashed on our windowpane. He is a Thaluuztan, and I am a Limmnak. These are two different races. Understand?" The human smiled in reply.​

"Sure." He said.​

"What are you doing here and how did you appear here?" Gangas felt curious than ever.​

"I don't really know, but I lost my friend Ram somewhere on your ship. So I came back here to take him back."​

"What is Ram?" The human smiled back at the little alien.​

"It's not what, but who. It's a friend of mine. His name is Ram."​

"You mean there is another human here aboard the ship and we didn't notice?"​

"Yeah, and don't worry, it's quite hard to notice this guy. You know how much trouble he gives me back home? You don't want me to start! But… he's my best friend and I have to find him."​

"Amazing. – Gangas replied. – Once I shared feelings like you have. This 'Friend', before the Thaluuztans came to our world and destroyed it, I also had 'friends'."​

"So, you mean you don't like these aliens who are invading my planet?" The human asked.​

"Not at all! Especially this overlord, Carton is his name. In all my years and vast experience I have never met with such an arrogant idiotic fool!"​

"Very interesting… - the human replied. – Perhaps you would like to help me end this invasion? And by the way, the name's Fyukiz."​

"A pleasure to meet you, human Fyukiz, – Gangas shook Fyukiz's hand. – I read about this greeting tradition on the internet. You can find amazing information on www.human_encyclopedia_tha.org!"​

'You came!' Ram felt the sudden burst of energy pass nearby. He felt the presence of his lifetime friend on the ship.​

'There is still hope for us.' He turned away from the shadows and head through the maze of alien corridors to find his friend.​

Hollywood, blocked by highest and most sophisticated protective technology, was unaffected by the cruel battles that appeared now almost everywhere on the planet. While the invasion gave grim vision to human's future, the people of Hollywood lived their normal day to day life, unaware of the death beyond the protective golden shield.​

The red phone rang in the office of the television heroes Buzzskip and Doil. Buzzskip clicked on the 'send' button and the face of the president appeared on the viewing screen. The look on the president's face was serious, but desperation was also etched on his face.​

"Buzzskip, - the president cried into the phone. – We're being attacked by alien invasion that are unstoppable! The nation, the world needs your help! Please help!!!"​

"Calm down, Mr. President. – Buzzskip said with his ever calming voice. – Doil and I will take care of this problem in no time."​

"Thank you, Buzzskip. Thank you! And may god bless you!"​

"Yes, yes, you too, Mr. President." He turned back where his companion Doil stood and waited for his reply.​

"It seems that the Thaluuztans paid the visit to Earth after all… It is time for a small chat with overlord Carton…"​

 

[Therian]

Jeez... the last part! I really want you to read the story as a whole so that your comments and critique will be full and aimed at the entire story and not a small part of it. Thank you for reading!

The fourth part of the prologue: "The Peak of Destruction!"

​

The corridors aboard the Thaluuztan ship remained the same as Fyukiz, led by Gangas went deeper into the ship, or so Fyukiz thought. The corridors were shaped like a dark and twisted maze and he suspected that his new alien companion had agendas of his own, rather helping him saving his planet from utter destruction.​

"Tell me, where are we going?" He asked the alien.​

"Don't you want to stop the invasion?"​

"Yes, I do, but I'm curious. I never have been on a real alien ship before."​

"Not to mention on one that invades your world this very moment." Gangas giggled.​

"Yeah…" Fyukiz smiled back and rolled his eyes cynically. On any other occasion it could be amusing but the timing was seriously wrong.​

'I guess that lack of timing is what separates us from them.' He thought but Gangas disturbed his line of thought.​

"– There is no possible way to destroy a Thaluuztan super destroyer class ship. It is built for star shattering. Nothing can penetrate its powerful shields and the Leeth made only several thousands of these monstrosities…-"​

"Several thousands?" Fyukiz interrupted.​

"Oh yes, several thousands. But for Thaluuztans it's really nothing. Think about eleven star systems that breed these abominations for pure destruction! What are several thousand ships for them? Nothing!"​

"Then we're doomed for sure…" Fyukiz said as if to himself.​

"But there is a way to sabotage the ship so severely that will stop the invasion for sure." Fyukiz's eyes opened with new hope.​

"Do share." He asked and Gangas answered.​

"It seems that the Thaluuztans paid the visit to Earth after all… It is time for a small chat with overlord Carton…" Buzzskip said and went out of the room. His companion, Doil, silently followed.​

"Put on your uniform, Doil. And be quick about it. The time to move up is near, and we mustn't miss it, or else you know what may happen… Remember?"​

"Yes Buzzskip. I'll be ready in a minute."​

Once he returned to the room, Buzzskip already counted the final seconds. Then the clock that does not count time rang and both of the television heroes disappeared into thin air.​

"Fyukiz…!" Ram cried aloud, searching for his friend.​

"Where the hell are you?!"​

Then he felt another force materialize aboard the ship back in the room where the overlord and his officers were. He turned back and rushed to see what's going on.​

His eyes opened wide and he swallowed a shout. In front of the alien throne and the overlord that sat on it, two figures appeared. Ram could recognize them everywhere. These were his heroes. Buzzskip and Doil!​

'How did they appear here?' He asked himself but the questions quickly disappeared. The hair on his arms stood up from excitement. He crept a bit closer to the room, still unnoticed by anyone until he could hear what they were talking about.​

"What are you doing here, Carton?" Buzzskip asked. His voice turned serious, but the overlord grinned at them in return.​

"My friends! Greetings again, and welcome to my new ship! You like what I did with it? Crew of 130.000 Thaluuztans, thousands of attack ships. Fully equipped!" But Buzzskip ignored him. ​

"Does your brain ever realize anything? Do you know what can happen if they find out?" The overlord didn't seem to be disturbed by the question.​

"You see, my friends, I do realize the potential danger, but as I remember it, the only ones who will suffer from this arrangement will be you, and your friend here."​

"It's Doil, you scum." Doil cursed.​

"Touchy! Does he bite too?"​

"Stop it! – Buzzskip's shout echoed in the room like a thunder. – Unlike you, Overlord Carton, I always make insurance, and this time it concerns you and your sudden rise in Thaluuztan Destruction Forces. Think of this that you can lose it as quickly as you received it."​

Ram didn't believe what he just heard. Buzzskip and Doil, his heroes are in league with this alien?​

'No… it can't be…' He whispered to himself. His heart beat quickly as he fought his doubts on it.​

"So, you say you have a computer system that can be sabotaged?" Fyukiz asked.​

"Yes Fyukiz. – Gangas replied. – And it is pretty much unreliable too. We call it 'Blue Screen' because every time something crushes in this system, all screens turn blue.​

"Ah! I know this system! I learned about it in ancient computers class. How come you have such an ancient system? I always thought that aliens are much more advanced than humans…"​

"We are! – Gangas said, - But not with this system. Allow me to tell you. Thousands of years ago an alien race called Leeth created a new operating system, but no one wanted to test it. You see? – Fyukiz nodded. – And then the dark league; a league of alien races dedicated to evil doing came with an idea. They found this small colony of humans; a baby race that desperately tries to advance and agreed that this race, your race will be the testers. They sent a contact ship with all the necessary data to create this system. It fell to the hands of a local programmer and soon, after he succeeded in compiling the data, they made contact with him, telling him that if he will test this system on his planet, he will be greatly rewarded."​

"Greed is indeed a troublesome trait we possess." Fyukiz agreed and Gangas continued.​

"Within several years that man developed the operating system and released it as his own creation. Your people were astounded by the power and freedom it gave over the computer. Within a decade the system spread across every company and house. Technology level boosted miraculously! Every time he released newer version of the program, nobody knew that he granted your peoples only fragments of what he really had. Then, one day the Leeth returned. They were glad on how the project evolved. Their system was finally approved and later installed in millions of ships; from star fighters to capital and world ships.​

What he didn't know was that the Leeth, being a manipulative and devious race, gave him a specially designed system that had many security holes in it, and once the internet appeared on your world, they had full access to every single computer of your race. This way they and other members of the dark league learned about you, and created an enormous database on your race that was updated all the time. Don't think that you were the only victims of this technique. In latter years they used the same technique on dozens of other races. They used it on my race as well, and this is the reason why my race stands now on the brink of extinction." Fyukiz was shocked.​

"But then how does this system, if it is whole, still crushes?"​

"Oh, that was me…" Gangas grinned nefariously.​

"But from what I know about this system, it is impossible to delete it." Fyukiz said.​

"Don't rush me, human. I'm getting to it. – Gangas replied as they stopped in front of a metallic door. – Enter here." The door opened wide and they entered a gigantic round room. The doors close shut as they entered inside. Above them holographic commands floated in the air. Gangas pushed a small button on the wall and Fyukiz felt suddenly very light.​

"Welcome to Blue Screen brain." Gangas said and swam up in zero gravity.​

"Are we going to sabotage it now?" Fyukiz asked as he followed.​

"In due time, everything in due time. We have some things to do before we start sabotaging." Gangas floated between holographic commands and entrances into the internet. Every button that he pushed changed various holographic parts of the room; colors, shapes, sounds and pictures.​

Back on Earth everything seemed lost. The President sat in his underground bunker and watched the recent reports. Far on the surface the guards guarding the post; both humans and changed fought against the encroaching Thaluuztan legions. Then the bunker trembled suddenly and the President grasped his heart. A Thaluuztan drop ship fell right on the base above him.​

"Retreat! – He heard from the comm link between shouts, gun fires and other commands. Retreat!"​

He closed his eyes and put his hands in a prayer position.​

'It's been too long since I spoke with you. – He whispered. – I really don't know what to do now. The world is lost to us. The aliens finally beat us. They are unstoppable! Please God, please… if you would listen, please stop this madness and spare your children their demise… Amen…'​

And then everything turned silent.​