Cover Letter and Synopsis

[Ursa major]

but in SF/F the technique is conspicuous by its absence.

Off the top of my head, I know Ken Macleod writes SF in the present tense, at least for parts of some of his books; and to good effect. I'm sure there are other examples.

 

[Noah Phoenix]

The guys have already done just about everything that needs to with regards the cover letter.
The story did grab me, but not in the way you're hoping I guess. I agree with others that made comment on the fact that she's popular. Now, you're right with your opinion, and if your character is the quiet type whilst being popular, then fine. But introducing her within the synopsis as popular gives an immediate impression, which doesn't fit with popular opinion. The synopsis is there to give an overall impression of the story, and therefore this part should be removed for clarity. Any confusion felt from the synopsis/cover letter will go against you. And the last thing you want is an editor going 'eh?' at the first few words he/she reads of yours.

I like the premise of the story, although it sounds like a mixture of Pans Labrynth, Coraline and Spiderwick. Which, actually, doesn't sound that bad. Anyway, what I mean to say is that there are alot of themes going on here. Again, maybe this might be a little much for the first impression?

I think you need to shorten everything, give a little less away, perhaps, and leave the writing to speak for itself.

Hope that's helped! If it hasn't, then please ignore my ramblings, everyone else that knows me usually does.

 

[Susan Boulton]

I think you need to shorten everything, give a little less away, perhaps, and leave the writing to speak for itself.

I have to disagree with part of this. A synopsis should tell the whole storyline, with major plot points, from beginning to end. You have to give everything away and grab the agent's interest at the same time. Even if your sample chapters catch the agent's interest, if your synopsis does not show the agent you can carry a storyline through, then your pitch can fail (It happened to me)

A "hook" or the small paragraph that you place when you are sending just a query letter is a different thing, more like the blurb on the back of the book, then again you need to tell the beginning, middle and end.

Both are, I find, harder to do than writing a novel.

 

[Noah Phoenix]

O.K, maybe I should have worded that bit better. I agree with you SJAB, what I was referring to was the whole popular girl bit. This statement would take a while to explain within the book, how someone can be two things at once, so I thought he should leave it out. Also, I thought there was a little too much repetition of the themes and content.

I agree also, that the covering letter and synopsis are indeed harder to write.

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

Both are, I find, harder to do than writing a novel.

I hope this is not going to sound obnoxious (although I fear that it is), but I've never quite understood why so many people feel that way ... because I don't find them difficult at all.

Maybe it's because the only article I read on the subject before writing my first one said that synopsis writing was not particularly hard if you knew what you were doing, and therefore I never approached them with the idea that

a) I was probably going to fail

or

b) I was going to have to convince an editor or agent that my epic was Tolkien, Tolstoy, and Aesop's Fables all rolled into one before someone would buy it.

Anyway, I'm beginning to wonder if a lot of writers blame their synopsis when the fact is that it's done an excellent job of describing a book that simply doesn't fit what the agent is looking for.

Because the best synopsis in the world probably isn't going to convince an agent to look at something they don't know how to sell.

 

[ctg]

Terasa, we just don't know the facts because there's no feedback. You know there's only standard replies. However, on the subject of synopsis, I did find it writing easier after couple of drafts.

 

[StormFeather]

Zac,
I am not sure I agree with this prerequisite if popular, you are blonde and go to many parties... That leaves an awful lot of unpopular people. I understand your point, however this is a tale of Rebecca, who in spite of being popular just prefers her own company and actually has a lovely relationship with her mother. Also, have you read the whole synopsis i.e. the bit below?

“Elizabeth, her mother, lives a difficult life with James whose Victorian approach toward the women in this family is a burden to her. Despite an upbeat appearance, Elizabeth has a deep-rooted unhappiness fuelled by feelings of intimidation and an inability to deal with any form of conflict.”

“Victorian approach” etc... This should give you an idea as to the household environment and the possible restrictions...



I am sorry I just don’t buy this idea that to be popular you can’t also spend time with your mother and just prefer your own company. That has nothing to do with age it is about personality.

Steve

Just adding my tuppence worth to this.

In my all-girls school, the popular girls were the 'queens' and quite bitchy with it. Being popular was a status thing and didn't make them very nice. To be in their clique was supposed to be an honour, and they were always accompanied by at least one or two friends - I avoided them like the plague. However there were a lot of girls who were very 'well-liked' and popular in their own way, genuinely nice and fairly immune to 'popular' hype.

You are using certain terms like 'Victorian' to convey a meaning based on the general understanding of that word, so I think you have to concede that the word popular in this context isn't getting across the meaning that you want it too. With your explainations we understand what you're trying to say, but that's taken a while to get across.

Rebecca sounds like a well-liked girl, who is genuinely nice, without the hype that goes with being 'popular'. maybe finding another term would help?

Otherwise I really like the story, and look forward to reading more sometime

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

Teresa, we just don't know the facts because there's no feedback. You know there's only standard replies.

Well, it's been a while since I got a rejection letter (I've been leaving the pleasure of reading them to my agents), but isn't the standard reply something along the lines of "doesn't meet our needs at the present time"?

 

[ctg]

Well, it's been a while since I got a rejection letter (I've been leaving the pleasure of reading them to my agents), but isn't the standard reply something along the lines of "doesn't meet our needs at the present time"?

[FONT=&quot]Thank you for sending us your submission.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]We’ve considered your proposal carefully, but I’m afraid we don’t feel able to offer representation in this instance.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And we’re sorry you’re receiving a form letter but the volume of submissions we receive makes it very difficult to reply individually.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Thank you again for giving us the chance to consider your work.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Yours sincerely,[/FONT]

 

[2ndchance]

Okay Guys,

In the face of such debate, perhaps it may be time for me to try a slightly different approach. To this point, I have given four versions for your considered opinions...

1. 15-year-old Rebecca has always been well-liked for sure, but often sits alone during school free time. She just prefers to find a nice sunny corner somewhere and sit chatting merrily to herself, scribbling fantastical scenes of imaginative worlds.

2. 15-year-old Rebecca has always been popular enough for sure, but often sits alone during school free time, preferring to find a nice sunny corner somewhere and sit chatting merrily to herself, scribbling fantastical scenes of imaginative worlds. (Is this a run-on? Not sure.)


3. 15-year-old Rebecca has always been liked, but often during school free time, she sits alone, preferring to find a nice sunny corner somewhere and sit chatting merrily to herself, scribbling fantastical scenes of imaginative worlds. (Passive, yuk don’t like passive)

4. 15-year-old Rebecca often sits alone during school free time finding a nice sunny corner somewhere, she sits chatting merrily to herself, scribbling fantastical scenes of imaginative worlds. Even though she is well liked, she just prefers her own company occasionally. (Perhaps a little disjointed.)

Hmmm, I still like two, maybe one as well; however, your views are valued. Thanks, now look what you lot have done, coz’ I like three also...

Steve

 

[ctg]

I like fourth one because it shows that the character is flawed.

 

[Noah Phoenix]

I liked the fourth one, I can see what you mean about it being disjointed, but I didn't feel that at all. It gave a better impression.

This forum is great for weeding out the problems you never see yourself! I love it!

As for rejection letters, ctg, amongst the many I have, one says the same as yours, except they put at the end, 'I would like to comment further on the ideas presented here, but as a first novel, it doesn't meet the standard required for it to grab me.'

Rather than cry, I took that as a positive. I know my ideas are sound, but I'm a complete novice, and I know I need to nurture any talent I have at actually writing the damn thing. (Which you all are helping immensely with, thanks!) I wish they would understand what a big impact and help even a small sentence like this can be.

I know they get lots of submissions, especially the ones representing the big names, but couldn't they manage even one or two sentences?

 

[ctg]

I know they get lots of submissions, especially the ones representing the big names, but couldn't they manage even one or two sentences?

The problem is with the time they have in their hands, as those who review submission might not have that much time to put in some critique, because it takes a lot of effort and some writers will take it wrong way. In other way, put yourself in their shoes and think how much time you would have on posting detailed critique to few pages you've read.

However, if they ask you to post more then a sample, and they still give you a standard-form reply, then maybe in that case you could complain.

 

[2ndchance]

Interestingly, I had comments on my first tale, some positive some okay I guess, but not many standard replies, most were to me and seemed personal. Mentioned my characters etc.

So I am taking that as a positive, indeed two requested the full MS and although one has said no, the other still has it.

Meanwhile as you can see I have nearly completed tale-two. Completely different subject and settled on a style that suits my chic-lit ish voice...

Learnt a lot from here I must say, some good, some well, let’s say indifferent.

I think the hardest thing for me was getting away from what I thought I wanted to write, i.e. a subject that intrigued me, to a subject my soul wanted, actually, needed to write about.
Once I found this, I found it flowed easier, the pace was better, the dialogue smooth and so on. In addition, the synopsis came in 2 or 3 attempts as opposed to 2 or 3 hundred lol.

I read somewhere some guy saying, the hardest bit was finding his genre, one that fell from him.

Me, well, it has to be; love story/fantasy with a firm philosophical message. Oprah Winfrey would like it, I am sure, ha, ha.
Steve

 

[ctg]

I only tried four agents and one publisher. The response that I got wasn't positive, so I thought its time to start from the scratch. Yesterday I came on second thoughts after 72 000 words and started to write another story in Finnish. Then today I came back to my English one and rewrote fifteen hundred words.

2ndchance, you get there. Just trust your story and don't give up. It might be hundred agents before you get a positive one, but then again, you only need that one.

 

[2ndchance]

So, everyone has gone for v.4 so far, any more views, considering it is you lot that made me concede ground on POPULAR.

1. 15-year-old Rebecca has always been well-liked for sure, but often sits alone during school free time. She just prefers to find a nice sunny corner somewhere and sit chatting merrily to herself, scribbling fantastical scenes of imaginative worlds.

2. 15-year-old Rebecca has always been popular enough for sure, but often sits alone during school free time, preferring to find a nice sunny corner somewhere and sit chatting merrily to herself, scribbling fantastical scenes of imaginative worlds. (Is this a run-on? Not sure.)


3. 15-year-old Rebecca has always been liked, but often during school free time, she sits alone, preferring to find a nice sunny corner somewhere and sit chatting merrily to herself, scribbling fantastical scenes of imaginative worlds. (Passive, yuk don’t like passive)

4. 15-year-old Rebecca often sits alone during school free time finding a nice sunny corner, where she sits chatting merrily to herself, scribbling fantastical scenes of imaginative worlds. Even though she is well liked, she just prefers her own company occasionally. (Perhaps a little disjointed.)

Steve

 

[StormFeather]

I agree with the general consensus - no 4 does it for me!

 

[Ursa major]

As it happens, Anne Mini has run a series on Query letters (starting with Querypalooza, part I) and has embarked on a similar series for synopses (starting with Welcome to Synopsispalooza!).