Today, I re-read 'The Hound' as well as 'The Statement Of Randolph Carter'.
The first thing that struck me was purely autobiographical: 'The Hound' is the first ever Lovecraft story I ever read! I just realised it was included in one especially wonderful anthology pulled down from my father's shelf (which also included 'The Death Of Ilalotha' by Clark Ashton Smith and 'The Death Of Halpin Frayser' by Ambrose Bierce). I must have been less than 12 years old at the time. (I'd previously thought that 'The Outsider' was the first Lovecraft tale I'd ever read; instead it is only the second). I'm sorry about the needless detail: it's just that the works of several favourite writers seem to be woven through the years like a recurring motif, surfacing again whenever needed.
Perhaps that early exposure explains it, but I have never found 'The Hound' over-written except in the way that Lovecraft's style sometimes strains the outer bounds of stylistic perfection in its description of ultimate horror. I find it hard to imagine that this is purely the sign of insufficient skill or editing; 'Randolph Carter' is a significant comparison because it is, first of all, nearly the same story (two friends delve into forbidden lore; enter a place where the dead are interred, pursuant on some dark errand; terror is unleashed - the
rudiments are the same) and secondly, a jaundiced eye could find examples of 'self-parodying' prose in the latter tale as well.
For example, here are two quotes from 'Randolph Carter':
The place was an ancient cemetery; so ancient that I trembled at the manifold signs of immemorial years. It was in a deep, damp hollow overgrown with rank grass, moss and curious creeping weeds, and filled with a vague stench which my idle fantasy associated absurdly with rotting stone.
Even given that the narrator characterises his fantasy as absurd, 'rotting stone' is, on the face of it, almost an oxymoron. Stone crumbles; it does not rot. Yet, to the receptive reader, the idea of rotting stone combined with suggestion of great age suggests a place that is so ancient that even the very rocks have somehow begun to decay in a manner only possible after un-numbered aeons have passed. The fleshy beings interred here
can rot - and if even their tombstone have begun to rot, what state beyond normal decay are they in, now?
...the gross luxuriance of unhealthy vegetation.
How can something be both luxuriant and unhealthy? It makes sense if we take into account Lovecraft's general conception of forms of life that are inherently inimical, horrific, sometimes debased, even as they are fecund - and this fecundity is terrible because of the nature of these life-forms.
Here are two places in 'Randolph Carter' where Lovecraft seems to pen down semantic absurdities, yet illuminates a vaster sense of unease. His prose may never again have been as openly poetic as in his Dunsany-esque tales, but I feel it often needs to be read for allusion and suggestion, like poetry. I should really offer similar citations of over the top instances in 'The Hound' but my point is that one can find such in any Lovecraft tale, if primed to; whether they are really over-writing or purposeful derangement of mundane concepts can at least be debated.
In 'The Hound', I believe Lovecraft is revisiting the same theme anew from a new angle, both in style and content, not parodying it. 'Randolph Carter' stemmed from a dream he had, and a particularly haunting and chilling dream it must have been. The earlier tale is apparently more or less an unadorned rendition of this original dream as related to his correspondents. In 'The Hound', he has either spontaneously revisited aspects of this dream or consciously used his graveyard visit to recreate elements of the old story, only this time, he decided to do more - more detail, more suspense, more terrible events. Perhaps he did consciously pile it on, but not without, as JD Worthington also notes, genuine eerie passages. I think the two elements work together - the whole piece is a study in excess: of style, of invention and of terror. Not a parody but an attempt to push certain things to the limit.
At least that's my take on it, for now.