Help with a plot problem!

[reiver33]

I’ve recently restarted work on ‘Catch My Shadow’ (a fantasy story in a pseudo European setting, circa 12th Century in terms of social mores and technology) following a hiatus due to family illness and general distractedness, but I can see a plot problem down the line.

The monotheistic True Church is only now on the brink of supplanting the previous pantheon of Gods, and the zeal of new converts is leading to increased intolerance on both side.

The Church venerates the living embodiment of ‘Our Lady’, one in a long line, who represents the original mother of God-on-Earth, and is the basis of their spiritual superiority. This woman is protected round-the-clock by the Sacred Band, an all-female guard unit which defends the main Temple and provides a close escort dedicated to her safety. She is denied male company, except during religious ceremonies, as (Heaven forbid!) any pregnancy would herald the Second Coming of God-on-Earth and pose serious problems for the (patriarchal) Church leadership.

The main character in CMS is charged with killing this woman, but instead falls in love with her at first sight (he is being manipulated to a certain degree) and decides to kidnap her instead. This is where my problem rears its head, as (being a former systems analyst) I tried to come up with an effective security regime given the resources to hand, but now can’t find a credible way to circumvent it.

The ‘target’ lives on the third floor (of four) with the floors above and below being home to her bodyguards. The rooms adjacent to her apartments house her personal attendants (all female). When ‘at home’ there are always 2 guards on the door and 2 on the balcony, and she is accompanied by 4 guards (at a discrete distance) when in her private garden. The 16 shield maiden types who constitute this close escort (operating in 4 shifts) are all known to each other by sight, and no ad hoc substitution would go unchecked. Drugging/poisoning is also out; when they take meals each of the 4-strong detachments are fed from 4 different kitchens in the temple complex, and food for ‘Our Lady’ is prepared (duplicated) in all 4 and selected at random before serving.

The entity currently residing within my main character can manipulate his flesh so as to bestow a female appearance, so he could potentially pass himself off as one of the Sacred Band in general, but not part of the close escort given their intimacy (the Sacred Band are based on an elite hoplite unit of the same name, raised by the ancient Greek city-state of Thebes, and formed from 500 pairs of male lovers – the idea being they would fight harder to protect each other).

So, having painted myself into a corner, can anyone suggest a way out?

 

[Culhwch]

Everyone has a price - can one of the escort be bribed or blackmailed into assisting? It's the obvious fail to such a tight security detail, I guess, and might be too obvious, but tis' the only thing I can suggest off the top of my head.

 

[Window Bar]

So, having painted myself into a corner, can anyone suggest a way out?

The first thing I believe I'd do (if I were in your shoes) is read The Sibyl by Par Lagerkvist. Surprise: It's about a Sibyl: the oracle at Delphi, to be precise. From it, you might get a feel for what kind of religious ceremonies 'Our Lady' might be involved in. As with jailbreaks of any kind, it's probably easiest to accomplish when the prisoner is outside of the prison.

For example, if (as in the Sibyl) there is a ceremony in a cave, your hero could already be inside.

Another example: If the ceremony involves a building, such as a cathedral, then a "miracle," such as a strange vapor emanating from the altar, might serve as a distraction.

 

[reiver33]

Thanks for the feedback as I've been turning this over in my head for a couple of days now without success.

Unfortunately at this point in the storyline my main character is pretty much a stalker; the object of his affections doesn't even know he exists, so she would be a decidedly unwilling participant in any daytime ‘snatch’ – hence I was tending towards a night-time extraction from her apartments.

Furthermore the Temple lies at the heart of the city, surrounded by the Inner Eight districts which are the tightly policed preserve of the nobility. Hence he can’t really bring in help in the form of likely lads from the Outer Eight (home to vice and depravity) without them being spotted in short order.

In terms of getting out of the apartment I’m going for throwing her off the balcony into the ornamental fish pond (inspired by the Bond film ‘Diamonds Are Forever’), although than means disposing of/silencing the two guards stationed on the balcony in the first place.

Climbing up the wall from the garden is out (he’s not a thief or assassin), so entry will have to be via the main corridor door (2 guards). I toyed with distracting them by means of an airborne aphrodisiac, but even if successful it’s virtually impossible to sneak up and kill two people silently (and other guards/attendants will be within earshot). Same goes for an airborne sedative or poison (apart from the risk of collateral damage) – unless both go down simultaneously all it takes is one cry and the deal is blown.

Getting her out of the city will probably be via the old ‘unconscious body in the cart’ ploy, but this requires there to be no state of alarm or active search.

Rats!

 

[The Judge]

Drugging isn't impossble, simply more difficult. The 4 kitchens presumably don't get their provisions from 4 different suppliers, do they? Could he somehow drug every single meal as it was being taken en route to the Lady and her guards?

What about the water supply to the complex? Could that be drugged?

Are the guards present at all times when the personal attendants are attending on the Lady? I was thinking of when she has a bath and such-like? If not, could he impersonate one of the attendants?

What do off-duty guards do? If one is incapacitated on her way home, how would her replacement be chosen? Could he infitrate the pool of potential guards so as to be first choice substitute?

If the complex is the difficult part, make the guards take her out of the complex. An explosion too close to the apartments might panic them into moving her somewhere more secure perhaps.

 

[Toby Frost]

Hmm, tricky. Without wanting to be rude, can you unpaint yourself from this corner you're in? (After all, you are responsible for all the architecture of the story!) It seems as if you've designed the perfect way to guard this woman and then tried to work out how to get to her. Have you considered looking at the scene the other way around, taking the end result of the scene - he captures her and escapes - and running it in reverse?

A scene like this - especially one where the hero is in a 70% effective disguise - could be incredibly suspenseful. Even if the guard system isn't utterly foolproof - and I appreciate that these are serious customers you're describing - there could be a lot of excitement as he ducks out of sight, tricks people and so on. I'd suggest thinking of this not as a locked-room mystery that you have to solve as an opportunity for your hero to do some stuff that will entertain the reader.

I've run up against similar problems in the fantasy I'm writing. Where there's no clear work-around, I've had to go back and write one in. This can take a bit of time, but it works.

I'd advise however against too much magic, as it can feel like breaking the rules. Oh, and an ornamental pond might be a bit shallow for a fall. Sorry not to be more helpful!

 

[reiver33]

The macro-solutions pose a problem in their own right as the original plan was simply for him to shoot her using a longbow, from distance - he's the proverbial 'lone gunman' and thus has no support network to provide additional resources. It's this sudden switch to kidnapping which is posing the problem (love at first sight, well, OK, obsession).

The Sacred Band is 120-strong and consists of 60 pairs of intimate friends. The close escort of 16 are drawn from this pool, but again as couples who go on-duty together, – thus if one guard were unable to attend then her partner would also be stood down and a back-up couple be brought in from the off-duty members (they serve 6 hours on, 18 hours off). If for any reason a new couple is introduced from the Sacred Band in general then they are immediately introduced to the other members of the close escort to ensure recognition.

Although the close escort are not in immediate proximity during personal moments – such as bathing or toileting – trying to gain access as one of the attendants poses it’s own particular set of problems. These are all female body slaves under threat of collective execution should one of their number deliberately harm the person of ‘Our Lady’. Furthermore if the main character is in ‘female form’ then this won’t stand up to close scrutiny – his flesh can be manipulated to bestow a feminine silhouette but then again body armour hides a multitude of sins!

And no, there aren’t any eunuchs in attendance!

As was suggested above, I may have to go back and have less comprehensive security in place, but it irks me having set it up in the first place (I set myself the problem and then dusted off my old 'systems analyst' thinking cap).


Ho hum!

PS It can be a deep pond (big fish).
PPS There is no real magic about, more a semi-religious 'channelling' of arcane powers.

 

[Moonbat]

I've got two words for you 'Trojan Horse', sneak him into her bedroom in some kind of mysterious (human sized) present.
Or use laxatives, that'll stop the guards from being able to guard properly.
A well timed astronomical event could cause disruption to the guards, not that he could cause it but it could happen.
Can he make himself look like such an ugly woman that the guards (and the 'our Lady') are so shocked by her/his ugliness that they have to give him/her an emergency makeover.
Not very sensible ideas I know, but silly is my forte

 

[reiver33]

One additional problem (as if I didn’t have enough) is that the current ‘Our Lady’ is merely the embodiment of her divine spirit, in a manner akin to the Dali Lama, and thus the Church authorities would kill her themselves if forced to (think the film ‘Windwalker’, where the person being guarded is too valuable to fall into enemy hands alive) – being then guided by the hand of providence to identify the next human vessel, etc. etc.

The one thing they can’t tolerate is what my main character wants; spiriting her away from the city (no pun intended) and outside their control, sorry, ‘religious guidance’.

The only thing that came to mind in respect of 'Trojan horse' was 'giant cake' – and that is being a bit off-the-wall!

 

[Peter Graham]

a pseudo European setting, circa 12th Century in terms of social mores and technology)

Hold on, lads, I've got a plan.

Right. Our lady is protected by warriors. Warriros anticipate a direct threat from fighting or force of arms. So that is precisely what we don't give them.

The weakness of the warrior lies in their arrogance. Warriors of an inner cabal or warband belong to one of the highest castes of medieval society. They do not undertake routine chores - cooking/cleaning etc. That sort of work is carried out by servants from the Outer Eight. These people are beneath the contempt of the shield maidens. The maidens might recognise them (although they tend to change fairly frequently), but they certainly wouldn't speak to them.

There is probably no sewage system in the town. Nightsoil is either dumped into the river or into the town dyke. Nightsoilmen tend to be a bit stinky themselves. The turn up with a cart, barrel out the privies and off they go, generally with a fairly wide berth.

Our Lady has private apartments. And a private privy. Probably out in the garden, though she might have a chamber pot in her room in case she's caught short in the night. At best it'll be earth closets and given the number of people up there, I bet they need clearing every few weeks - maybe even more frequently, in the high summer.

So here is the plan. Four lads, including our shapeshifter, masquerade as nightsoilmen. No big deal to take out or lock up the real ones, although wearing their clothes is going to be a bit unpleasant. We attend Our Lady's palace on the usual day and shovel out the privies. Our Lady will be kept well away and the place will be swarming with guards, but it doesn't matter. We leave our shapeshifter in the privy after we've finished. If we are escorted, we knock off the guard and our shapeshifter takes his or her form in the short term. Real guard goes in to the cart and we leave. Four blokes on the cart, three blokes on the cart - who's looking closely enough at a group of s*** shovellers to notice?

Shapeshifter uses his skills to lie doggo until next privy cleaning day. On the morning of the return visit, shapeshifter boshes Our Lady in the privy and takes her form. He trots back to her apartments as her with her goons in tow.

Our three lads come back, load up Our Lady into the cart, if necessary in a false bottom with nightsoil piled on top (no-one is going to inspect that cart too closely), and off they go to the rendezvous. Shapeshifter meets them up later after effecting an escape probably involving the assumption of different identities.

Regards,

Peter

 

[TheEndIsNigh]

Hi,

No problem here we have several methods of entry

Fire and smoke is always a favourite.

Brute force? Given the characters skills he should be able to handle a few girls

Night time attack with the shape shifting would give extra anonymity.

State visits - If she's a pope like figure she must show herself sometime just to keep the masses convinced.

Age her a bit so that the 'next in line' can get in as a candidate.

Illness due to natural causes - possible long term and well known (the dreaded creeping death) so she would have been looking for a cure for some time but our hero has the special flower/potion/meal worms that will relieve all illnesses. This might also give an opportunity for the relationship to grow as multiple visits would be required.

TEiN

Peter''s idea isn't too bad either though as I understand it our man works alone for very special reasons - Although night time working would cover that.

 

[AphroditeMSC]

Isn't she allowed male company for rituals? Could he insinuate himself into the church to that degree in such a short time? Perhaps he murders a priest nobody has yet met and takes his place? There has to be some way around this...

 

[AphroditeMSC]

Ok...I took a few moments to think and...there are no attendants when she uses her toilette...set in that era, her toilette would effectively be a hole in the ground, which leads to a sewer from a steep drop. But, I'm sure you could come up with a device that helps you climb the sewer (very messy though haha) and perhaps use a form of choloroform or something to knock her out, drag her back down the sewer (tight fit so perhaps you've got a bottle of oil to lube you both up with, into the very bowels (if you'll excuse the pun) out into a stream and away you go!

 

[reiver33]

Thank to all for the replies - if nothing else it's been exercising your little grey cells...

The MC isn’t a true shape shifter in that only his surface flesh can be manipulated, not the underlying skeleton, so any really extreme alterations are out. However in terms of adopting a female guise the members of the Sacred Band are more rugby player/east European shot-putter types than Romanian gymnasts, and a high-average female height matches a medium-average male, at a pinch.

Climbing up the privy to gain access might work (I remember seeing this in an old Scottish-set series starring Ian Ogilvy, although all he did was stab the guy from below), although if he plans to surprise her ‘in the act’, as it were, this become extremely unpleasant.

After all, if successful, nothing says ‘I love you’ more than being rendered unconscious, abducted, and waking up covered in sh*t in the company of an obsessed lunatic who talks to himself...

 

[The Judge]

Hold on, lads, I've got a plan.

Let's just be thankful Peter wasn't suggesting they blow any doors off...

Not so sure about the outdoor privy, wouldn't they give her a garde-robe or a close-stool so she didn't have to go outside in inclement weather? If a garde-robe, that would be a way of getting her out of the room rather than throwing her onto some poor goldfish, especially if it emptied into a moat or something. Mind you, the risk of her coming down with fatal dysentry has just gone sky-high!

Going back to the water supply, if it's a well inside the complex, as opposed to a stream or somesuch, the guards won't be as concerned as to risk I imagine, since it isn't open to just anyone to approach it. So that might be a way of him getting a narcotic to everyone.

Thinking about the food again, what if at certain times she has to take a special meal to prepare for a ceremony and/or she can only drink a certain kind of wine?

Who does the gardening? Could he get some kind of drug onto her favourite plant so that when she goes to smell the flowers it knocks her out? Cue bedlam and the need for a doctor.

What if the Lady herself plays a part in this? Does she have family who visit her/she visits? Could she insist on going to see a friend who is taken mysteriously ill? Could she just get stroppy and do something unexpected which catches the shield-maidens off guard?


PS I love it when a plan comes together.

 

[AphroditeMSC]

if he plans to surprise her ‘in the act’, as it were, this become extremely unpleasant.

Surely she doesn't just take her toilette and go straight back out....she must wash her hands, apply some lotion, perhaps? This would give him time to get up there...especially if he's been lying in wait so he'd know exactly when she used it...hey, you're a writer, make it work! lol

 

[neolaxguy]

perhaps if you're still mulling this over I could only think to add that while the target may be extremely difficult to get to, I'm betting that the massive security detail doesn't have as strong a protective ring around them. My thinking is that perhaps the guards either on the balcony or in front of the door (or both) get their meals prepared in a regular place, unlike the Lady. If they could be subdued or compromised perhaps that is weakness enough for your MC to capitalize on. The standard logic would be that someone who is this protected would have little defense of their own once an intruder breaks through security.

 

[reiver33]

The problem I've given myself with the drugging/poisoning approach is that while on duty the guards go about in pairs, thus both have to go down simultaniously or the alarm will be raised.

To try and get round my own system I'm looking at the internal door from the target's private apartments to her attendants living quarters - I'm assuming there would be one rather than have them trail round via the main corridor. So 'all' the MC has to do now is find some point of entry to this series of interconnected rooms and creep through a room of sleeping women...

 

[J Riff]

You might just have to go back and write some small, clever flaw intro the security set-up, something that wouldnt be obvious to the reader..and then use it to get hero in and damsel out, making him seem rather clever too, if that's what you want.
Because what you need here - is Conan, not a sneaky shapeshifter. Guys like Conan, ...had tougher B and E challenges than this one...Wizards castles, giant snake guardians, inaccessible peaks,,, deadly boobytraps everywhere.
If he really must have this Lady instead of just skewering her..well let's ask Conan.
Conan : Shoot arrow from roof of next building, slide down. Grab woman, if guards come, slay them.
He had a broadsword - maybe a blowgun would do for the shapeshifter. He has to have some way to get out if it goes wrong. He needs to either sneak in there and trick everyone like some genius.. or whup some guard butt. Setting a tiger loose in the building may help with general confusion.

 

[Blackrook]

Your security is way too tight, unless the Lady has as many enemies who want to kill her as Adolph Hitler or Saddam Hussein. Does the Lady really have so many enemies that this security is necessary?

Religious nuns can't be bribed with money, but offer them water from a healing fountain (Lourdes) or the relic of a saint and they might be persuaded to look the other way.

The sisters would occasionally go to Mass, which would be celebrated by a male priest and male alter boys. They might also go to confession. Could your hero reveal his love to the Lady dressed as a priest taking confession?

The nuns would not necessarily recognize the priest, since the duty might be assigned to a different priest each week.

Committing any violence or poisoning against your fantasy nuns would alienate your Catholic readers so don't do it.