Writing Challenge Discussion -- January 2011

[sloweye]

Competition? me? have you been drinking?
(my story is just fodder to fill out the thread )

 

[No One]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

Hah, I rather like it!

Is it just me, or is your story a scathing attack on a certain London landmark? (surprised the bloody thing hasn't fallen over yet). Or am I being dense and completely mis-reading it?

 

[sloweye]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

The line i had to take out, to make it 75 words, was that it dwarfed the London eye. so not far off.

 

[No One]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

Heh. I think the ambiguity will work well for it then.

Nice one!

 

[sloweye]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

Cheers mate

 

[Hilarious Joke]

Writing Challenge Discussion -- January

Cheer up Cul! It's 2011 and it's a lovely day (in Sydney at least)!

But to show you my dedication to this thread and it's position in the workshop I'll post one of the other stories I prepared for last month. I didn't end up using it because I thought it was too derivative. It was in fact inspired by two things: the song Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd (which I have recently grown to like very much) and the Shield Anvil in Memories of Ice by Steven Erikson.

There is no pain, you are receding

The man’s fingers grip my robe with all his remaining strength. His guts are a mess.

I have no time. But I have no choice. His stare is too desperate.

Holding his face, his entirely too-young face, I open. I take his agony, least for his horrendous wounds, most for, as is expected, his mother’s embrace.

It is impossible not to shudder and quiver and to throw up on the filthy cobblestones.

He has become comfortably numb.

 

[digs]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

Ooh yeah! I meant to post my other stories as well. I was full of ideas last month, I just found it impossible to put them into the right words...

Anyway, here are two.


Extinct

We excavated your fossilised remains today. Scapulae, a mandible. Phalanges. A wedding ring.

“Cretaceous humans? Ridiculous!” Beaumont – brilliant palaeontologist, hopeless logician – hadn't connected your disappearance and the timegate's collapse.

Silas knew. “It didn't go right, did it?”

I shrugged. “We're alive.”

But I couldn't disagree.

Instant, painless annihilation by the nuke had been your one consolation. An easy death for an uneasy hero.

Instead: your fragmented, tormented body, caged within the ribs of Tyrannosaurus rex.


Pragmatism

Where night battles day I stand and feel the ragged lip of the pit beneath my toes.

Before me, emptiness yawns infinitely. I sway beneath an onslaught of panicked nausea, a deluge of feverish doubt.

A lord's life for his land's. The pact must be obeyed.

I close my eyes. My keening heart falters. My burning soul shudders.

My arms extend.

I part them, and my softly sleeping son tumbles, silently, forever, into the abyss.

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

Keeping in mind that I am not familiar with either song (being remarkably fossilized even for my age) and wouldn't know whether it is derivative or not, I think that is an excellent story, HJ.

I'm not sure I entirely understand it (that may also be because I lack the necessary points of reference) but it makes a strong impression nevertheless.

Edit -- You posted while I was composing this message, digs. Your second story above breaks my heart.

 

[Parson]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

Oh wow Digs! Pragmatism is a real gut wrench. You should make that an opening scene for a Fantasy. If it were mine, I'd have him dedicate his life to changing the "law of the land."

Great stuff!

 

[Hilarious Joke]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

Thanks Teresa.

Yeah I also thought digs' Pragmatism was very good!

 

[digs]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

Thanks guys! Both for the compliments and confirming my fears that I should have posted a different story

 

[Karn Maeshalanadae]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

Hopefully I'll be coming up with mine in the next couple days.


Not really in the mood for any writing right now and I have plenty of personal projects to continue....

 

[HareBrain]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

Maybe we could start a new one in April, so we'd have a full year's posts in each thread?

This thread started in June. How were you not aware of this? Doesn't everyone read through the whole thing each time, like me?

I liked Pragmatism too. Two spare stories! I think I've only had one spare since this started.

 

[Chel]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

Here's my spare story.

I won't listen to the husband next time I have two stories, as his choice didn't give me any votes or even mentions!


The Hatchling

Six generations had waited for this day. Five of his grandfathers, prisoners of duty; watching, guarding. Kheldaran's thirty years isolated, anticipating the growing cracks in the burgundy-speckled shell.

Six generations, and his whole life. Never a trip to the city, never one glance at the sea.

When he saw the dragon's head, he fed it fresh meat. But when it bit his finger, he took a hammer and smashed its head in. Free, at last.

 

[Perpetual Man]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

It's always interesting to see the stories that were rejected - sometime thinking I can see why they dropped that compared to the final ones and other times thinking I'd have gone with the rejected one - but then it always comes down to taste!

I don't know where they came from but I ended up with five this month, and in their own way i was pleased with all of them - so here are the other four:

I looked at the man opposite, the self-satisfied smirk on his thin lips.
“Have you seen the quality of the stories again, this month?
“How does anyone stand a chance when they are turning out material of such quality?”
He shrugged.
I sighed, “I’d give my right hand to get a vote or two”
The red light in the devil’s eye’s gleamed, he licked his razor sharp blade, “Well let’s see what happens shall we?”
***
He stood tall, proud despite his chubby appearance.
“Are you sure?” he was asked. He nodded.
“You are aware that this undertaking is a huge responsibility? It will mean your life, your existence, giving up everything you love - family, friends, hearth, home, all will be gone?”
“I know,” he replied in muted tones, “But it’s for the children; the children are worth it all.”
“Excellent,” the other beamed, “Then I name you Father Christmas.”
***
She screamed, her voice raw issuing from a throat already rent.
“It must be done,” she had said, “No matter what the cost. If we don’t vent the air in the medical section, the entire ship will die. No single life is worth that.
“The lethal virus must be expunged.” Shaking finger had pressed the raised red button, air hissed away.
Burning tears streamed down her face, as beyond the glass her newborn slowly died.
***
The highly decorated commander stood before the raw recruits, voice filling the hall with the growl of muted thunder.
"A good soldier is one who sees the army as a whole; will not blink when fighting man or alien; is willing to give his life for his comrades, fighting beside him."
He smiled knowingly, "And that is why I have become the man I am.
"Because I, I am willing to sacrifice all of you."

 

[Mouse]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

I really like HJ's one (and I think I understand it!) and Perp's Father Christmas one there. I only wrote the one last time around.

So this month, I wrote something at 2am this morning (can't sleep, going a bit mad) and it came to 57 words, which I thought was kinda good as it's 75 backwards. Then I put my notepad down and turned off the lights. Two minutes later, I put the light back on and added another sentence.

I've not looked at it since so not sure whether I'll be posting that one or not!

 

[Dozmonic]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

I do that with entire scenes, which can get annoying when I'm tired. It's even more annoying when it's a scene for a whole new story I'm not working on, haven't thought about or even started considering. Silly brain.

 

[Mouse]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

Yep, it's very annoying! That's why I keep a notepad by the bed or I'd never sleep. I need to get the words out of my head.

 

[Dozmonic]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

I accidentally repeatedly snagged my lamp and broke it so I couldn't write a for when that happened. Then I found a cool ballpoint that has a purple light so I can write and pretend it's a lightsaber! I also used a booklight for a bit until its batteries died. The purple pen is dying too so I have had to get another lamp or I'd never get the stuff out of my head and onto paper

 

[Hilarious Joke]

Re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December

I really like HJ's one (and I think I understand it!) and Perp's Father Christmas one there.

Thanks! I also liked that Father Christmas one best out of Perp's.

Then I found a cool ballpoint that has a purple light so I can write and pretend it's a lightsaber!

Very awesome!