Quick Fire Questions (A Place to Ask and Answer)

[Jo Zebedee]

so here's a real quick one;

"It would be except most Project Managers are easier to fool. He’s all over me: if I’m late, I get kept back; if I hand in c*** work he refuses it."

The punctuation, specificually the colon and semi colon? Is it right or am I now getting too clever for my own good.

 

[Hex]

er I don't know. I'd probably use one or the other in a single sentence like that (not because it's wrong, but because sometimes people seem to be put off by them).

I have a quickie too:

"He shrugged, one shouldered." -- should 'one shouldered' have a hyphen?

 

[Mr Turtle]

er I don't know. I'd probably use one or the other in a single sentence like that (not because it's wrong, but because sometimes people seem to be put off by them).

I have a quickie too:

"He shrugged, one shouldered." -- should 'one shouldered' have a hyphen?

Not sure about the hyphen, but perhaps you may just want to put:

"He shrugged one shoulder."

 

[Hex]

Thanks

urgh. See, his other shoulder is injured, arm in a sling and all. So it'd have to be: 'he shrugged his uninjured shoulder' and that's getting too detailed and complex for what was supposed to be a throwaway comment. Gargh.

 

[Grimbear]

Eledhwe gave a sort of a non-committal one-shoulder uni-shrug.

Found this.

Here:
http://www.argentarchives.org/node/4860

I think it sounds ok

 

[David B]

so here's a real quick one;

"It would be except most Project Managers are easier to fool. He’s all over me:Full stop if I’m late, I get kept back; Not wrong but I'd prefer a full stop or ', and' if I hand in c*** work Comma he refuses it."

The punctuation, specificually the colon and semi colon? Is it right or am I now getting too clever for my own good.

Not great at grammer, but I believe I'm correct.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

He shrugged and winced? We already knows he's injured - a gentle reminder maybe?

 

[David B]

er I don't know. I'd probably use one or the other in a single sentence like that (not because it's wrong, but because sometimes people seem to be put off by them).

I have a quickie too:

"He shrugged, one shouldered." -- should 'one shouldered' have a hyphen?

I'd only use a hyphen if it was being used as an adjective (i.e. he is a one-shouldered man - which would make him pretty peculiar).

 

[Ursa major]

It would be except most Project Managers are easier to fool. He’s all over me: if I’m late, I get kept back; if I hand in c*** work he refuses it.

I think you may be missing a couple of commas:

It would be, except most Project Managers are easier to fool. He’s all over me: if I’m late, I get kept back; if I hand in c*** work, he refuses it.

You don't need to use the colon, though there's nothing wrong in doing so. If you drop it for a full stop, you probably don't need the semicolon either:

It would be, except most Project Managers are easier to fool. He’s all over me. If I’m late, I get kept back. If I hand in c*** work, he refuses it.

 

[The Judge]

"It would be except most Project Managers are easier to fool. He’s all over me: if I’m late, I get kept back; if I hand in c*** work he refuses it."

That's OK, save as David says, you need a comma after "work". Personally, I'd either long dash or full stop after "me" but I'd keep the semi-colon.

"He shrugged, one shouldered." -- should 'one shouldered' have a hyphen?

I keep changing my mind about the hyphen, but on balance, no. But the bigger problem is that shrugging involves both shoulders -- if it's only one shoulder being raised, it isn't a shrug. I'd go along with springs' suggestion that he tries to shrug and winces because of the pain. It's still a line that doesn't interrupt the dialogue too much, but it's actually earning its keep, which the other didn't.

 

[Ursa major]

I'd also tend to omit the hyphen in that sentence.

I would use the hyphen, though, if the modifier was written as an adjective ahead of whatever it's describing, e.g.:

He made a one-shouldered shrug.

Note that I too doubt the very existence of a shrug using just the one shoulder (unless whoever is shrugging only has one shoulder, which is unlikely to be a particularly commonplace circumstance).

 

[Vertigo]

Well I wouldn't have a problem with the idea of shrugging one shoulder. Technically wrong maybe but if we know his other is injured I think it is perfectly acceptable.

And how about:

"He shrugged his good shoulder" or "He shrugged his uninjured shoulder".

 

[Ursa major]

But I thought (and so does my dictionary) that shrugging used both shoulders. So aren't we getting into the territory of the one-handed clap?

 

[Hex]

Thank you

 

[Vertigo]

I agree technically, but you cannot do a one handed clap On the other hand you can raise and lower one shoulder in such a way that anyone seeing it would interpret it as a shrug, especially if they are aware the other shoulder is injured/immobilised. Therefore I would hold to my original statement that if people seeing the action would interpret it as a shrug (which I think they would) then I think it's fine to call it a shrug.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

thanks everyone, extra comma coming up!

 

[Ursa major]

...especially if they are aware the other shoulder is injured/immobilised.

I agree that if one shoulder can't be moved, its owner can shrug only using the other one, However, I'm not sure that was the case** in the linked story. I got the impression that the use of just the one shoulder was meant to be a sign of the non-committal nature of the shrug.





** - Just before the "uni-shrug" is mentioned, there is this sentence:

A long flight behind them, Gwenhylew and Eledhwe stretched their arms as they spoke softly in Darnassian.

I read this as indicating that both Gwenhylew and Eledhwe have the full use of their arms. (Although having read some more of that text, I'm not sure I can rely too much on its descriptive power.)

 

[Vertigo]

OK well not a point worth labouring, though I did do a quick browse around the web and found quite a few uses of one-shouldered shrug. Including these:

"Sometimes it takes only one or two details to light up a character for your readers. . . . The old man's carefully parted hair suggests that he has not totally given up. The tinny clatter of cheap crockery implies that the restaurateur has fallen on hard times. The sullen teenager's one-shouldered shrug connotes indifference tinged with contempt."
(Monica Wood, Description. Writer's Digest Books, 1995)

That little one-shouldered shrug was beginning to grow on John. It seemed to fit well with the flop of hair that kept falling over Kyle’s left eye.

I confess I have no idea who the authors of either of these actually are. Just a couple of examples that I found and think read perfectly fine. Certainly wouldn't break my concentration on the story.

 

[Ursa major]

I can't help feeling that this sentence:

That little one-shouldered shrug was beginning to grow on John.

is an indication that John is falling in love. How else would anything as uncommitted and feeble as the regular recourse to a 'little one-shouldered shrug' grow on anyone?

One could even argue that the movement is as much imagined by the observer (the soon-to-be besotted) as intended by the owner of the shoulder, who may have some mild form of tic (assuming that such an independent movement exists at all).

 

[Jo Zebedee]

sorry about this, I'm in the middle of a line edit, so lots of punctuation queries. I have this:


My powers; I’m adopted, I don’t where they come from, but they’re very like the Roamers’




Should Roamers have a possessive apostrophe (getting there, Chrispy but still a work in progress )?