Need a throwaway line

[GreenKidx]

HareBrain-Okay... so I just have a couple questions I think would help the suggestions :

1) should said object pose a danger to just the person holding it or to everyone one in a room/area? (IE-a poisonous snake commonly confuse with a harmless cousin or a dormant land mine?)

2) why would the person born in 1900 recognize it and the danger but not the modern teen?

3) can it be something that is in reality but closely resembles something else that WAS harmful/restricted in 1900?

4) has Mr/Mrs 1900 somehow skipped the intervening years between then and now??

Sorry, if any of my questions require you to give out more than you wish. You can feel free to ignore me!

 

[terryweide]

A momento brought back from a war such as an unexploded piece of ordance. For example, a hand grenade being used as a paperweight, or a howitzer shell being used as a mantle piece. Veterans have brought stuff like that home before and suffered the consequences when said ordance suddenly goes off.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Or, along the lines of Terry's ideas, how about a lighter that looks like a pistol? Those are very realistic, not particularly harmful, but would appear so to Mr. 1900. Kid could be pointing it at himself, getting ready to light up, and 1900 thinks he's about to shoot himself.

 

[HareBrain]

Thanks again for the suggestions. I'm still not 100% sure about the flare gun (sorry Mouse), and there seems to be some confusion over who's afraid of what, so maybe I ought to explain the situation better, as I now realise I should have done in the first place.

Let's say we have three characters, Mr 2017, Miss 2017, and Miss 1900. The present day of the story is 2017. Mr and Miss 2017 are nineteen now, and six years ago they were Mr and Miss 2011 -- but they can't remember this, because they have amnesia.

In the story's present day, Mr 2017, under magical influence, picks up an object that Miss 2017 knows will trash his mind forever. Unable to prevent him touching it, she shouts to him desperately to drop it, or leave it, or get rid of it, or something like that -- and the exact words, and the same fear-type emotion, trigger a connection to an event in 2011, which is contained in their lost memories.

This previous event is then psychically seen by Miss 1900 (for the sake of argument, let's say she can see forward in time), but the vision lasts only a moment, so it can't require a lot of description or understanding on her part. In fact she doesn't need to understand it as such, but the reader needs to make the connection with the 2017 event (ie just see that it's similar).

The 2011 characters (the thirteen-year-olds) are from a fairly normal boring middle-class family, and every summer they go on a yachting holiday in the Med. It fits the rest of the story if the 2011 event happens on the holiday, but at home is fine. But it should be something fairly mundane and ordinary. Hence the difficulty.

I'm now going to up the reward to my undying gratitude and, er ... this squeaky toy.

*holds up squeaky toy*

 

[Susan Boulton]

But it should be something fairly mundane and ordinary. Hence the difficulty.

Then I feel it should be something that is not dangerous at all, something so mudane that for the girl to shout for him not to touch it or drop it, is going to sound totally stupid and thus increasing the tension. The reader knows the danger, so will be holding their breath to see the reaction of the character being shouted at for holding a rope, plastic cup, teaspoon etc...

 

[GreenKidx]

HB-sounds to me like a jellyfish might suit your needs! Can be held saftely for a moment if you know how, can also do real damage if you touch the wrong parts. It would also mirror miss 2017's fear for Mr 2017's saftey. And also no one would find it odd that a 13 boy would being playing with a potentially deadly jellyfish. Lastly they are quite community at most beaches, which should be in ample supply on a yachting trip!

Do I win!?!

 

[RJM Corbet]

HB-sounds to me like a jellyfish might suit your needs! Can be held saftely for a moment if you know how, can also do real damage if you touch the wrong parts. It would also mirror miss 2017's fear for Mr 2017's saftey. And also no one would find it odd that a 13 boy would being playing with a potentially deadly jellyfish. Lastly they are quite community at most beaches, which should be in ample supply on a yachting trip!

Do I win!?!

"Careful,that's a jellyfish, it'll sting you"
"Really? I thought it was a hamburger ..."

 

[GreenKidx]

Hey... he said he needed something mundane. And he never said 13 year old Mr 2017 didn't know what it was he was holding, just that he didn't, perhaps, know that it was danger present. Besides, just because he could identify it as a jellyfish doesn't mean he knows its a Greater Gonnastingandkillyou Jellyfish. (Or you know some real species.) Also if I'm interpreting the scenario correctly, then the boys reaction to being told to "drop that!" Is somewhat irrelevant. What HB needs is to justify one person fearing for the safety of another, that could result in a panicked command. And I think any parent/older sibling will confirm: you are far more often scared for your kids safety then they for their own. I think the logic holds out. Go ahead tell em HB. It works right? Right? Pretty please...? Hahaha

 

[HareBrain]

sounds to me like a jellyfish might suit your needs!

Not a line that gets used very often, I'm guessing.

Can be held saftely for a moment if you know how, can also do real damage if you touch the wrong parts. It would also mirror miss 2017's fear for Mr 2017's saftey. And also no one would find it odd that a 13 boy would being playing with a potentially deadly jellyfish. Lastly they are quite community at most beaches, which should be in ample supply on a yachting trip!

You make a good case. I think it's the answer. Especially since I had it in mind that Mr 2011 wanted to be a marine biologist when he grew up. And if he did know how to handle such a creature, he'd be able to give Miss 2011 a real scare. (Or if he knew that a particular species was harmless, but he knew she thought it wasn't.)

Do I win!?!

Well ... I hate to point this out, but ...

A jellyfish? Electric eel?

But thanks for explaining why Alchemist should get the squeaky toy. Or maybe you can fight over it. Everyone has my undying gratitude, though.

 

[alchemist]

Thanks for making my argument, Greenkidx . I would have made exactly the same points (ahem*cough*cough).

And the squeaky toy is so cute, it- No, Junior! Drop it! It's really 19th century ordnance!

 

[RJM Corbet]

Well Mouse, we tried ...

Anyway, here's the whole thing:

To A Mouse.
By Robbie Burns (November 1785.)

(He wrote it when he watched a mouse having to leave it's home, when a field was being ploughed)

Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty
Wi bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee,
Wi' murdering pattle.

I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken Nature's social union,
An' justifies that ill opinion
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth born companion
An' fellow mortal!

I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen icker in a thrave
'S a sma' request;
I'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
An' never miss't.

Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
It's silly wa's the win's are strewin!
An' naething, now, to big a new ane,
O' foggage green!
An' bleak December's win's ensuin,
Baith snell an' keen!

Thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste,
An' weary winter comin fast,
An' cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro' thy cell.

That wee bit heap o' leaves an' stibble,
Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
Now thou's turned out, for a' thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the winter's sleety dribble,
An' cranreuch cauld.

But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!

Still thou are blest, compared wi' me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But och! I backward cast my e'e,
On prospects drear!
An' forward, tho' I canna see,
I guess an' fear!

 

[GreenKidx]

It appears a post of mine has dissappeared...

Anyhoo! Congratulations Alchemist! Anytime!