The Severed World, opening 1100 words

[The Judge]

Don't forget my maidenly form, springs. And no boots on this Lady, Glitch -- strictly stilettos. With steel toe caps.


While I hesitate to spend time perusing a piece which will NOT be revised any time soon, both the voice and the writing are very good, very immediate and very, very strange. (Kind of like its author... ) Some infelicities, some minor confusions and more than some punctuation errors, but nothing that wouldn't be picked up on a proper edit circa 2022.

 

[HareBrain]

nothing that wouldn't be picked up on a proper edit circa 2022.

That might be a little ambitious ...

Having now read through all 90k words of this, I understand better than before why I put it aside, but I have no more idea than before what to do with it (not that it was my intention to go back to it soon anyway). But thanks everyone for commenting; it's been interesting to see the reaction to something I've pretty much kept to myself.

If anyone's interested, the best first-person-present book I've ever read, which probably influenced some of the above, is David Mitchell's Number9Dream. (Though the Japanese setting and character perhaps make it more of a natural fit.)