Small excerpt meant to help build characters

[luci2also]

I felt your response, particularly to Anya, was extremely rude.
Of the people who responded to YOUR request for a critique, some, myself included, are preparing their own work for a submission in a couple of weeks, yet were good enough to stop and read yours (yes, I read it, twice. Three times now, actually) and make comments that YOU had asked for.
I have no problem with you disagreeing with my critique, no problem with you querying, or even saying that it wasn't helpful and asking me not to critique in the furture.
I do have a problem with a response which seemed rude and, indeed, derogatory. Or an indication that I, as the critiquer, needed to evidence my understanding before it could be accepted. A critiquer is a reader first, and anything someone has to say to advise you that, in their opinion, your piece didn't seem to develop characters as you hoped it would, and was difficult to follow, is, in my mind, valuable.
You do indeed have a right to defend, but in doing so you were rude and dismissive, to people who had shown nothing but courtesy in their words to you.
I won't be responding again to this thread, but I thought it was worth putting on record my feelings regarding your response. Best of luck.

Blimey. I disagree with people sometimes but I'm never rude! Luci, you haven't even thanked half the people who've spent time trying to help you, you haven't even acknowledged Aber!

I came here to comment on the 'prejudice against 1st person*' comment, but then read the rest of the thread. Just... stunned.


*I love first person. Reiver writes in it, Hex writes in it. You're doing 1st person present which is a different kettle of fish.

You appear to misunderstand what I said. I did not call upon you to apologise for defending your work -- I merely pointed out that it serves no purpose. It doesn't make you appear right, just defensive, touchy and unable to accept that your "baby" contains flaws, and it certainly doesn't encourage people to engage with you and assist you further. And since it inevitably leads to unpleasantness, as here, we discourage it.

However, making snide insinuations about those who have given freely of their time and help is not acceptable whether or not you agree with their comments. If you are not able to see the difference between critiquing a piece of writing, and criticising a person, then frankly you have a great deal of work ahead of you.

It is up to you whether you wish to post anything further. If you do, we expect you to abide by the way this forum is run. If you cannot accept that, then indeed it might be best if you find yourself a site which allows you to behave as you wish.

Well gosh I'm sorry you got rudeness from all of that.

And I'm sorry that after voicing concerns about first person and present tense that I received heavy condescension.

That said You are right and I should thank those people.
The people whose suggestions I used. And whose time you seem to all think I wasted.
springs1971
Abernovo
Warren_Paul
AnyaKimlin
allmywires

Thanks those hints and critics were helpful. I could not use them all but I used quite a few. They all work well though I'm not sure I didn't put more problematic material in while fixing things.

Sorry I came off rude.

But if not being rude = staying quiet then I'm doomed.

It sort looks like several peeps want to eject me.

Since it's me being me maybe they are right to be so inclined.

 

[Hex]

(on holiday -- only way to get signal is to climb tree -- and it's raining)

Can I just say how pleased I am to be mentioned in the same sentence as reiver?

luci -- it's awful getting critiqued. Often it feels like I'm being torn to bits when I read critiques of my work. My sympathies, truly. It can be hard to acknowledge that people are trying to help, but they are. Critiques take time and effort. I like the way you write, I hope you stick around, but in this forum no one would be helping if they weren't honest.

 

[allmywires]

Luci - thanks for thanking me, and believe me, I understand how difficult it can be to get criticism on a work that you personally believe to be infallible. I posted my first critique in here just the other day and of course it grates a bit to hear that people don't see your words the same way as you do, but do you know what? They're not in your head. They need to understand what you mean fully, and fresh eyes are always useful for anything. In the end, it's your work, and up to you if you want to acknowledge what other people think. Sometimes people just aren't on your wavelength and you don't think their criticism is valid - that's fine. Take it on the chin and move on.

As an aside, I will just say it's sometimes possible to misinterpret tone over text, and I don't think anybody was honestly trying to personally attack you. The only reason we gave you feedback was so that it could make you better!

 

[AnyaKimlin]

I'm sorry my review didn't make sense to you. As Springs pointed out I'm trying to make a deadline (two actually, my gay detectives may have a home).

First person, present tense isn't something I need to get used to it is the most natural narrative for me to read, because I am editing my own work using that narrative. (Third person, past tense is slow and weird to read, at least, until I move on to editing my detectives).

The work has a potential as I said, but I think it is confusing (which may have been the editing to make it fit) and doesn't make the best of the narrative you have chosen. That will change as you edit it and work on it.

I read it from beginning to end, and the red is showing where I found it disjointed and confusing.

It is hard getting your first works critiqued. Especially on here because it will be a proper critique you are given.

 

[Gary Compton]

***Dummy Alert****

***Dummy Alert****

***Dummy Alert****

A writers dummy being spat out has been spotted at 30,000 feet. Please take evasive action.

A writers dummy being spat out has been spotted at 30,000 feet. Please take evasive action.

A writers dummy being spat out has been spotted at 30,000 feet. Please take evasive action.

I started to read this thread and was going to comment but then...

See above.

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

I have no idea what you are getting at, Gary, and perhaps that's your good fortune.

Since this thread has gone aground, I am going to close it.

 

[Brian G Turner]

I will not post the refurbished work- that wasn't a threat back when; that was a fact.

Thank goodness for that - you've been churlish and pouty over the excerpt you posted.

Frankly, you're too immature for critiques at the moment - come back when you grow up a bit and stop being so damn over-sensitive.