Two short alternative openings

[Erin99]

I was caught up on the pushing/punishing, too, like TJ. And I have to agree with a few of the others and say that I preferred the first version. The second was too info-dumpy and I found myself skipping. Why would we care about the man and his acts, at this point? We don't know him. You have to give us a reason to care before you tell us what he's done. It's all about feeding titbits to the reader until they're invested in the character. Make us see interesting things and wonder what's going on before you take us deep into the character's backstory.

However, I do like some of the ideas and imagery of the second (the rose petals was great!). If I were you, I'd definitely consider combining the two versions but without the backstory. And TJ just said about how you love starting with horses splashing through water, but consider this: it doesn't give the reader any idea of what's going on with your protagonist. Is he just having a fabulous time galloping around the country (boring), or is he terrified, chased, and guilty? (I'm interested!)

You could add more to the opening line to make a better hook: Rynell's hooded robe concealed his features as he galloped the mare across the ford. (Readers would wonder why he's having to conceal his face and what he's rushing away from / rushing to, so they'd read on...) Then you could bring in hints that he's just killed the king, perhaps by having a flash of a memory about how the king's head flopped into the water and sprayed the floor with rose petals. Maybe you could bring in a bit of his personality, too, and have him think about "the wonderful contrast" of having a dead man lying in a bath of petals, if your protag is evil. Or even, if the king is a good king and known for bringing prosperity to his land and encouraging flowers and other pretty things in his towns, you could have your protag remark about "the delicious irony" that the king is face down in a bath of petals.

Anyway, just a couple of examples to spur you on.

 

[Danrama]

I agree with The Judge on this one. The second was more akin to something I would expect in a later chapter and perhaps too much to digest in the first sitting.

The first felt like I was looking at a moving painting of a rider moving through scenery.

"He stayed focused on maintaining pace"

This part feels out of context with the rest of the opening.

The first opening was like the beginning of a movie where you see the camera pan over a massive forest then slowly zooms toward the rider. Although I felt it lacked description it opens the story more smoothly and as The Judge pointed out it intrigued us to want to delve further into the mystery beyond.