75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012 -- VICTORY TO PARANOID MARVIN

[Perpetual Man]

Rules

Write a story inspired by the chosen theme and genre in no more than 75 words, not including the title

One entry per person

All stories Copyright 2012 by their respective authors,
who grant the Chronicles Network the non-exclusive right to publish them here.

The complete rules can be found at Rules for the Writing Challenges


Contest ends at 11:59 pm GMT, September 23, 2012

Voting Ends at 11:59 pm GMT, September 28, 2012


You do not have to submit a story in order to vote -- in fact, we encourage all Chrons members to take part in choosing a winner.


The Magnificent Prize

The Dignified Congratulations/Grovelling Admiration of Your Peers and the challenge of choosing the next month's theme or genre


THEME:

Dinosaurs (Shopping Trolleys Optional)


GENRE:

Humorous Science Fiction​

 

[Glen]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

The Post Prandial Sound of Thunder


‘Fine port, Jenkins’
‘Fine cigars, Smythe.’
‘It’s hard to believe we are camped in a primordial jungle!’
‘We velociraptors have come a long way! A steam powered industrial empire! And now time travel!’
‘Oh, Pardon me, that marsupial has disagreed with me!’
‘Tish-tosh, old man. We are safe as long as we stay on the boardwalk.’
‘Er…’
‘No! Let me see your feet, old boy. Ah, only a butterfly. What difference could it make.’

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

One Day in the Cenozoic ...

“We’ve finally done it, Mr. President, crossed dinosaur DNA with that of a hamster. It’s a solution to the energy crisis.”

“Amazing, Hodgkins! How does it work?”

“We put it inside this gigantic wheel and it generates 20,000 amps.”

“Brilliant! But its appetite must be enormous. What does it eat?”

“Chrome, steel, vinyl ... There's only one problem, sir. The Department of Transportation hates the project.”

“But why?”

“It turns out the creature is CAR-nivorous.”

 

[Abernovo]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

Diplomatic Faux Pas


A'Rark, newest ambassador to the UN, stood. Interpreters prepared to translate reptilian shrieks and grunts.

"We, the original inhabitants of Earth, rescued by a Bunari spaceship from the doom of an asteroid, have returned to seek a new era of peace with you, our Earth brethren."

What happened next was almost inevitable. A young man ran in late to a front row seat. Ancient velociraptor DNA kicked in.

A'Rark swallowed. "I'm so sorry! Instinctual reaction."

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

THUMBS! THUMBS! OH CRUMBS….


“Ray-o-matic™ asteroid destroyer; little green things say it can’t miss.”

“You do it, Rexy.”

“C’mon. I can’t scratch my ass with these arms. It’s the mother of all asteroids, we need your thumbs…”

“Damn.” Dino paled. “Instructions?”

“Point. Count to ten.”

“You count.”

Rexy regarded his three-clawed talons. “Six; it says six.” He counted. “Shoooooooot!”

#

“Damn. You sure it was six?”

Rexy tried to scratch his nose. “Aliens; what do they know?”

 

[C. A. Mitchell]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

A Steamy Surprise

“Watch your tail Colin.”

“Sorry Doug!”

“You done?”

“Yeah. Tee hee! That’ll reek for days!” Colin wafted a stumpy arm.

“Serves him right. Rocket cleaning, my horn.”

“Captain Striker… More like Captain Stinker!”

“Good one Col. Come on, I’m due at the shuttle in five.” Doug poked his snout out the Captain’s quarters. “Get back Col!”

Bryan, Ship’s Dentist, was lingering by the Holo-Steak.

“What’s wrong?!”

“It's ok Col. I don’t think he saurus.”

 

[Luiglin]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

Be careful about what you eat

With maniacal fury, a pair of furry paws became a blur over the instrument panel, whilst beady, red-rimmed eyes peered myopically at a glowing display.

They would pay. Oh they would pay.

First Jack, then Mrs Doyle from over the hill, little Dougle and Uncle Ted. All gone. Supper, dinner, breakfast, brunch for those damn lizards.

Across the other side of the world the remote controlled meteor hit.

The day of the evolution had come.

 

[ratsy]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

How the Flugertz got their groove back

Krong watched a slideshow on a hand held monitor.

"Oh Margie...remember how much fun we had?" he asked his wife.

Together they looked at images of much younger versions of themselves planting bones in monster like formations on a distant planet.

"That will go down as our races finest prank, Dinosaurs they called them!" he laughed.

"Get the travelling orb...I am feeling reminiscent. Remember that idea we had about planting that huge pyramid!?"

 

[Karn Maeshalanadae]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

Why? Just…why?
​

“It’s not that hard. Pour the sulfuric acid into the liquid nitrogen, throw this switch, and-”

With a flash of light, we disappeared. I groaned as I saw what we landed in.

“Professor, we seem to be standing in the droppings of a triceratops.”

“That’s not the only problem we have,” the professor stated. We just managed to dodge an Apatosaurus.

“The Cretaceous period. I knew we should have gone with the lime juice instead!”

 

[Hex]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

The Spaceship 'Nevermore'

Once upon a landing dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Came a thumping -- something rapping, rapping at my spaceship door.
'Zombie aliens,' I muttered, 'wanting crumpets softly buttered,
Buttered with the brains of maidens from the far enchanted shore.'

I opened wide the door.

Triceratops there, nothing more.

Nervously, I eyed the bust of Pallas 'bove my spaceship door.

 

[StilLearning]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

The Predator.

Enraged at his incompetence, the actress hefts her stiletto heels.

"The movie of my career! Twenty billion on time travel! You've got one line. Like this: GARRRRGGGHHHH! "

She throws herself between his legs, striking out hard.

"GAAAAARRGHH!!!!!!" As T-Rex collapses in agony.

"GARRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"She raises her bloody shoes to the sky, as tranquilliser darts thud into her.

*

In his trailer, Spielberg dials his assistant: "Mike? Forget the film. Get me youtube."

 

[The Judge]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

Jurassic Bark (Worse than its Bite)



“Our time is come! We are mighty! Invincible! We shall obliterate the mammals! Earth shall be Saurian again!”

.......*
“Switch off the holo-screen and go play outside with your brother.”
“But, Mom, it’s Terry Dactyl in The Dino Soars.”
“Outside. Now.”

.......*
“General T’rex, we’re leaving hyperspace.”
“Ready the phase cannons!”

.......*
“OK, I’m Ty Ceratops. You’re – ”
“What’th that th’tick?”
“My Sonic Blaster.”

.......*
“Fire!”

.......*
“Ow. That bug, it th’tung me.”
“OK, I'll...”

.......*
“Fire again!”

.......*
“... blast it...”

.......*
“Sh - ”

 

[mosaix]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

What Really Happened Sixty Five Million Years Ago.

“In the ‘What Shall We Invent?’ competition, the committee rejected ‘Cell Phone’. As Bronty said 'What, with these feet?’. Regarding ‘Television’ the objection of ‘Simon Cowell’ was well received.

“The final choice lies between ‘Something To Detect Incoming Asteroids That Might Destroy Civilisation As We Know It’ and ‘Beer’. T-Rexina’s opposition to 'Beer' is ‘You guys will be out every night and the kids will never see you again’.”

Silence.

“So, ‘Beer’ it is then.”

 

[AJB]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

Jurassic Plight

Flying cars. "Oops, wrong way."

Men struggling with square wheels. "Keep going."

Primordial Soup. "Too far!! ... Hmm." Slurp. "... Needs pepper."

Tar pits. Giant palm trees. "Wow! Oh, wait..." Clicks on Boombox cassette player. Plays 'Jurassic Park' theme tune. "Wow! DINOSAURS!"

"The clever ones!" Raptors carving round wheels.

"The horny ones!" Triceratops rustling bushes.

Boom.

"Uh Oh - Tyrannosaurus."

Boom-boom-boom.

"No worries. If I stand still, he won't see me."

Munch.

"Aaargh! - Damn you Crichton! ..."

 

[MemoryTale]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

Military Intelligence

“Sorry Colonel, there’s no-one here by that name.”

“Damn!”

“Perhaps someone else can help. What’s the problem?”

“Some kinda reptile came through the Time Tunnel. If we can’t identify it, we can’t send it back to the right period.”

“And only this Sarah Topps can help?”

“I guess. No matter who I show the image to, all they say is to try this lady.”

 

[reiver33]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

For One Night Only!

“…that’s no Raptor, that’s my wife!”

Stony silence from the audience. The exit music kicked in and I did my trademark sideways jog off stage, tail in the air.

My manager sighed. “New material, kid, what did I tell ya about new material? This is the club circuit, not the Starlight Lounge.”

I hung my head. “Sorry.”

He slapped my scaly hind quarters. “Don’t sweat it. It’s a tough crowd at the Meteorite. Everyone dies.”

 

[Starbeast]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

Incident at Galactic Grill and Grog Space Pub​

"We don't serve dinos here."​

"Sir, I happen to be Dr. Nibbles, a famous scholar."​

"Prove it."​

"Great swirling onion rings. I didn't expect a Cretaceous Inquisition."​

(door flings open)​

"Nobody expects the Cretaceous Inquisition! We meet again Nibbles. You're under arrest for the charge of eating endangered Iguanodons." (looks at bartender) "You serve rat tart here?"​

"Yep."​

"Disgusting. Let's go dinosaur!"​

"Watch my tail."​

"Tuck it under. On second thought, don't, it looks obscene."​

 

[Stephen4444]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

Consplunkulator

Bent over the time-inverter-modulator, worked the guy Consplunkulator.
With gasps, din and ten-dollar grin; the dino- bird wanted food once again.
His task was complicated to the nth degree, as his dino-bird robot ate the monger mans feed.
All was trite, as bad tripe was used, around the London Tower dino-bird flew.
A splat a bang a groan was heard as Consplunkulator was killed with a dino-sized turd.

 

[David Evil Overlord]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

Faith Can Move Mountains​

The Voids refused to nest upon the dirt shell of the All Mother’s Great Egg. They built little eggs in orbit, and refused to see the blasphemy in their actions.

All right-thinking deinonychosaurs agreed when we cracked their little eggs with our smuggled explosives.

Heretics wail the Voids could have turned the asteroid now stalking us.

The asteroid is a test of faith, not the All Mother’s wrath.

Not some cosmic joke.

 

[paranoid marvin]

Re: 75 WORD WRITING CHALLENGE – September 2012

Monster Sale




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