The dreaded splice....

[Bowler1]

Well done, Springs you have posed a good question here.

I would have gone with 'and' here as I don't think, thinking counts as dialogue. This is you the writer providing narrative from your close in 3rd POV, so it's the writers voice.

However, very good question.

 

[Ursa major]

I agree that narrative isn't, strictly, dialogue. But first person and close third person narratives could be seen as being monologues**.

Monologues are more likely to be conversational (with less formal grammar) than third person limited or third person omniscient narratives. (I'm not sure, but second person narrative is also likely to be conversational, as it takes account of the "presence" of another party to the communication, i.e. the reader.)



** - Strictly speaking - I'm going to have to buy a cane at this rate - a monologue would suggest one speaker/narrator at a time; a first person plural narrative (I think they exist) may or may not count, formally, as... er... one.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

Hey, I was brought up not to use them, way back when, so they jolt me out of the flow. So I mention them now and again (and again and…). But I do recognise that they are no longer anathema, and have actually mentioned this when condemning them.

Times change; they just leave me behind.

It's funny my punctuation started off shocking. (Despite improvement it is still not good). After thirteen years of not writing anything more exciting than a letter I'd forgotten even the basics. At the start they didn't bother me, but these days they do jolt me out of the work and I think it flows better without them. I'm finding informal grammar with good punctuation works better, but it's personal and down to what works for each individual story.

Springs I'm agreeing with the semi-colon option or adding an extra conjunction.

 

[Bowler1]

I agree that narrative isn't, strictly, dialogue. But first person and close third person narratives could be seen as being monologues**.

I'm feeling very conflicted about this one after being whipped into some sort of shape by Chrispy. If the text had been italic to indicate thinking then I'd roll with it. In the example given there is no hint from Springs to say we'd moved to the character. Using italic to indicate character thoughts may be a different question, but it can be clearer for the reader when this is used.

I have to be careful here as I'm still a contender for the comma splice championships!

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I'm feeling very conflicted about this one after being whipped into some sort of shape by Chrispy. If the text had been italic to indicate thinking then I'd roll with it. In the example given there is no hint from Springs to say we'd moved to the character. Using italic to indicate character thoughts may be a different question, but it can be clearer for the reader when this is used.

The trouble is that I've gone so close that there isn't really a narrator anymore, so we don't move from narrator to direct thoughts, the narrative is being delivered from Lichio's direct thoughts. The 3rd person really just allows me to shift pov and means I use Lichio instead of he for attribution. So, essentially a passage narrated like this is narrated from Lichio, and there in lies my confusion - that it's essentially a form of dialogue rather than a narrative prose.

(The comma splice might go when I next edit it, they often do. But, they seem to be appearing mainly in certain character's speech and thoughts, as opposed to generically) which makes me pretty sure they're to do with the voices of that character. I need to start a spreadsheet. )

 

[Hex]

How about a dash...?

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Lichio waited until they left and limped to the control room. He looked at the comms unit and sat at it, sighing. This was Sonly’s arena, but he had his contacts, he’d have to hope they were enough. He spent a few moments, trying to decide who to contact first. Not Clorinda.

I would use a dash, myself:

This was Sonly's arena, but he had his contacts -- he'd have to hope they were enough.

I don't use comma splices in dialogue, either. I will not use them here or there. I do not like them anywhere. Oh, and I would lose the comma after "moments" as well.

 

[HareBrain]

I was thrown into a near-maelstrom of turmoil and confusion by finding several comma splices in the first two of Ursula le Guin's Earthsea books. Are these books no longer perfect, or are comma splices above criticism? (My sanity was only saved by the realisation that the printers left the dots off the semi-colons.)

 

[Ursa major]

If only we all had such sympathetic readers.









* hides cane *