Different ways of saying "said"

[Brian G Turner]

EDIT: 16/08/2012 - DON'T use this list. Use "said".


I compiled a list for myself when writing "Chronicles of Empire". The idea was that I should ensure a good variation of words in reference to dialogue, other than "said", with a small number of common replacements – ie, asked, shouted, commented – interspersed by a few other possible alternatives from the list itself.

Anyway, I used to have a list on my wall – about 154 words, I think originally – but the list fell down where the bedroom wall is particularly bad with damp, and a big hole has rotted through the middle of the list!

However, these are the words I can recover. Please note that it is by no means exhaustive – and some may be pushing things a bit. . Anyway, I present it here in case it's ever of any use to anyone else:

A

awed
accused
assured
apologised
addressed
asked
advised
answered
added
agreed
argued
assisted
affirmed
acknowledged
applauded
advocated

B

belched
beseeched
boomed
bellowed
bowed
boasted
began
begged
beamed
butted-in
bantered

C

contested
consoled
chorused
complained
corrected
championed
cheered
cried
complemented
calculated
cackled
cautioned
continued
commented
conceded
complained
...(missing)

D

declared
dribbled
dismissed
demanded
denied
decided

E

eased
egged
exclaimed
excused
encouraged
enthused
effervesced
enticed
echoed

F

frowned
finished
fidgeted
fumbled
fumed

G

greeted
grinned
gulped
grumbled
groaned
giggled
gasped
glowered
gurgled
gleamed
guessed
guffawed
gawped

H

hoped
hailed
humoured
hesitated
hollered


I

indicated
inquired
informed
interrupted
insisted
instructed

K

(missing)

L

laughed
lumbered

M

muttered
moaned
mumbled
maintained
motioned
murmured
mentioned

N

nodded
noticed

O

offered
observed
objected
oscillated

P

pondered
panicked
puzzled
protested
pressed
piped up
proffered
pleaded
pardoned
postulated
proclaimed

Q

R

(missing)
rambled
returned
repeated
responded
ranted
raved
relented
rescinded
released
requested

S

slurped
slurred
smirked
snorted
stared
smiled
spoke
stormed
sang
shouted
screamed
squealed
scolded
shuddered
sighed
smarted
stated
suggested
spluttered
snapped
snarled
stressed
shrilled
stammered
screeched
summarised
shuffled
sobbed
sniffed
shrieked
swayed

T

tutted
threatened
teased
tittered
taunted

U

urged
ushered
uttered

V

ventured
vacillated

W

wondered
winked
worried
whinged
whined
wittered
warned
whispered
winced
waved
wailed

Y

yelled
yodelled

 

[scifimoth]

I dare you to use yodelled in a dialogue...LOL
Impressive list!

 

[Twelve]

Yes, very impressive list, and very important for a writer.

I've found that another technique is to ignore the entire problem entirely. I like how some writers simply describe an offhand action by the character to refer to them as the person who said a certain thing. For example:

"You're a PIG!" cried Jonin.
"I take offense to that," replied Huzz the clown.
"Well it's true," said Jonin.
(and here's what I mean)
Huzz belched. "Suit yourself."


12

 

[littlemissattitude]

This is an awesome list, even with the missing bits.

I notice there are no entries for Q. May I suggest "quoted"? As in:

"The early bird gets the worm," quoted John.

 

[Brian G Turner]

I think Q had rotted through.

I remember coming across an argument in a writers forum, where some aspirants objected to the use of expressions of action to indicate dialogue. My point was that it is inevitable and unavoidable, and sometimes extremely useful for conveying tone and context in a way that "said" simply cannot relate. I think Twelve has given a simply example above.

I'm not sure who it is - think it's David Eddings in the "Belgariad", who only ever uses "said". Irks me, that does. Writer's are supposed to have a vocabulary!

As for the list - again - it's not exhaustive - I'd compiled it years ago by skimming through a dictionary, so I'm sure there are other words that can be added.

As for yodelled - well, it would be silly to write, "Yodel-ay-he-hoo!" said Bill.

 

[Twelve]

I'm not sure who it is - think it's David Eddings in the "Belgariad", who only ever uses "said". Irks me, that does. Writer's are supposed to have a vocabulary!

David Eddings is one of those writers that seems to have ignored many of the rules that a writer SUPPOSEDLY needs to get published.
But I'll stop there, because I don't like to trash other writers.

12

 

[littlemissattitude]

I think the idea of only ever using "said" as a dialogue tag comes from the practitioners of literary fiction, but I don't know that for sure. I think the theory is that the use of other dialogue tags is the territory of genre fiction, which the literary types tend to look down on as "lesser" fiction. But then again, I seem to recall having read Stephen King - who, goodness knows, is a genre writer - on the subject somewhere, and it seems to me he advocated using only "said." I'll have to check back into some of his books to see if he sticks to that in practice.

In any case, I know for sure that King believes that the "ly" (quickly, etc.) words are not the writer's friend, and I may be confusing the two issues.

 

[nodeg]

"I think I will have to register myself on this forum so I can address this," quipped Nodeg sharply, while scratching himself.

Said is simply a tag for dialogue. It is necessary to show who is speaking. It is no more distracting than a period.

To quote Orson Scott Card:

"Unfortunately, an astonishing number of elementary and secondary school teachers, utterly ignorant of good style, instruct their poor students to avoid overusing said. As a result, these poor students think that it's good -- even necessary -- to indulge in "said-book-ism," where the word said is always either replaced or accompanied by an adverb. Nothing is ever simply tagged; it's always replied, whispered, shouted, uttered, remarked, commented, intoned, murmured, wondered, laughed, hissed, muttered; or said bleakly, happily, merrily, snidely, nastily, angrily, loudly, softly, in astonishment, under his breath, with a smile, or ... well, you get the idea. Quite apart from the hilarity that arises from inadvertent Tom Swifties -- "I'm afraid we'll have to amputate," said the surgeon disarmingly -- it is this variety that becomes repetitive and annoying. That's because the reader is constantly being distracted from the dialogue and forced to examine meaningless, uninteresting tags.
Most of the time, all you need is said, because it, plus the name or pronoun, contains all the information that's needed to tag a line of dialogue. The repetition of said is only annoying when you have a long stretch of short speeches with only two speakers active in the scene. And then the solution is not to replace said with other tagwords, but to omit tags entirely for several lines of dialogue at a time. The danger in omitting tags, however, is that the author can sometimes lose track of whose turn it is, and the dialogue doesn't come out even -- you end up with the same person speaking twice in a row, without a tag, and the poor reader gets lost trying to figure out who is saying what.

Tagging is mostly a mechanical task. When you go back through your manuscript to edit, you'll pick up on a few places where you have too many tags, or overloaded tags, and a few others where you need to insert more information at the tag. My advice, though, is not to think about it at all during the writing process. Just use said routinely, except when you must -- and I mean must -- include more information than a mere tag.
However, I must in all fairness point out that in the genre of women's romance novels, "said-book-ism" is the convention, not an error. Both the readers and writers of romance novels seem to have believed those misguided schoolteachers, and the result is whole novels in which said is never used alone. This is one of the reasons I can't read romances -- I go too insane with the said-book-ism to get through more than a few pages at a time. But if that's the genre you want to write, then you have to respect the conventions of your audience. Beware, though, if you ever want to escape that genre -- because you can't carry those said-book-isms with you, and that's a habit that's hard to break! "

 

[littlemissattitude]

Thanks for that, nodeg. I'd read that bit from OSC before, and I think it makes a lot of sense.

Oh, and welcome to the boards. Hope you decide to hang out for awhile.

 

[Hypes]

I have that book as well, Nodeg.

Welcome to the forums.

 

[Brian G Turner]

Yes, welcome to the chonicles-network, nodeg.

As for the comments - yes, I remember there was a good discussion about all this at OSC's Hatrack a while ago, when I still posted there.

Overall, my position is simply that too much of anything will spoil the flavour - too much "said" is bland, and too much variation is "over-seasoning". A good mix should make for better seasoning.

And the omission is a very good point - OSC was pretty darn daring in Ender's - the opening chapter has a short set of dialogue, with no description or tags. But it works well.

But "said" by itself, in any stretch of dialogue, can seem far too minimalist, and I'm not convinced that many authors can pull that off well.

Is it David Eddings whom I specifically read doing this?

 

[aurelio]

I like your list, Brian. It's a helpful resource.

It's interesting though - I've noticed in more and more contemporary fiction, writers are simply establishing conversation and then leaving the "said" out, doing dialogue almost in a script form once the conversants are established.

For instance:

Craig entered. He turned to Marsha and said, "It's not mine."

"Then whose is it?" she replied.

"Search me."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Hmm. It could prove... interesting."


I really like the simplicity and directness of this approach.

Oh, I see you just mentioned the same thing in the box above! (Guess I should read through the whole thread first, huh?)

 

[Brian G Turner]

No problem - and indeed, overuse is obviously going to be distracting. I guess it's a case of taking your lead from key novels in your genre for the preferred style and usage.

 

[EvilDiesel]

Thanks for list. I'm glad you left off 'ejaculated' as per 1930's/1940's detective fiction. I've just read an old Agatha Christie where one of the characters (male) speaks a line of dialogue which is tagged '...he ejaculated stiffly'. (Is vintage detective fiction too uncool for most sci fi fans? I do enjoy sci fi as well)

 

[Aedan]

Yeah. This list is great- thanks and good job!

Kudos to you

 

[Princess Ivy]

As a general rule, i don't write sci-fi or fantasy, just enjoy reading it. However,in the guidelines given by various editors and publishers, as well as my journalism, writers circle and creative writing courses, it is advised to use SAID, not as writers don't know other words, simply to make things more accessible to the readers. None of lectueres seem to have a high opinion of readers intelligence and point out that you have to write to the general public if you want to get published. once you've done that, then you can work on your opus.
I will admit though that its taken a long time to wean myself off the habbits of a life time of trying to spice up my work with synonyms and adjectives, to trying to keep it simple

 

[Leto]

in journalism, here, we try to mix, or simply avoid the "said". But not going into strange synonyms.
However, princess, a good exercice to lose this habit would be to write, from times to times, a whole description paragraph without adjectives. Your style get richer without being too complex. And it's good gym for the brain.

 

[Circus Cranium]

I definitely pay close attention to dialogue tags when I'm editing my work. I think said should be used in place of those 'straining' tags you see like "he barked like a wolfhound', but for my own dialogue, I drop the tags altogether as much as possible. I think it makes the dialogue sound more natural, as long as it's short bits of conversation between action and the speakers are clear to the reader.

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

If you want to see why some readers and writers have taken against said-bookisms, you have only to read an article in one of those teen movie magazines, where they strain so hard to avoid using the word "said" that they even turn nouns into verbs. I have to say that even as a teenager I found those articles obnoxious for that very reason, though I had yet to learn any rules that told me why.

My own view is that any technique overused becomes distracting. That goes for using said-bookisms, or for avoiding them too strenuously. It goes for any way that you may choose to tag your dialogue -- or even for the fact that you don't tag it at all.

In my own writing I try to do a little of everything. I use saidbookisms when I want to emphasize the way a character is speaking (shouting, growling, whispering, etc.) and plain old said when I want a word that is relatively invisible (but feel it necessary to identify the speaker). Sometimes I'll tag the dialogue by putting it in the same paragraph as a character's physical or emotional reactions, if I think that is what is important at that moment. As in:

Maeve felt her stomach clench into a hard knot; she hoped she wasn't going to be sick. "You can't mean that."

And if I want the dialogue to reflect a brief, quick exchange, I leave out the tags altogether.

The main thing, I think, is to be flexible, and do what serves the story at the time.

 

[Circus Cranium]

Well obviously, you've got to pay attention to the story, and decide what fits where. Hopefully you get to the point where this comes naturally.